Dear DSO: "Ever Since The Kids, I Feel Like I've Been Put On The Backburner"

DSO addresses a common issue faced by many men in long-term relationships: feeling neglected and pushed to the back burner after having children. He explains that this shift in attention and priorities is a natural result of motherhood and the demands of raising children. However, he acknowledges the valid need for intimacy and connection in a relationship and offers advice on how to address this issue.DSO emphasizes the importance of understanding the biological and societal factors at play, such as hormonal changes and cultural expectations. He suggests that creating a supportive social circle and seeking outside influences that prioritize maintaining intimacy can be beneficial. DSO also highlights the need for open communication and a willingness to address the issue as a couple.He cautions against relying solely on time to resolve the issue, as the demands of parenting and life can continue to impact the relationship. Instead, he encourages taking proactive steps to bridge the gap and reconnect as a couple. DSO advises men to assess their own behavior and ensure they are fulfilling their role as a supportive partner and co-parent. He also emphasizes the importance of championing the effort to rebuild intimacy and seeking professional help if necessary.Key Takeaways:The transition from being a partner to becoming a parent often leads to a shift in priorities and attention, which can leave men feeling neglected.Understanding the biological and societal factors at play can help navigate the challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.Building a supportive social circle and seeking outside influences that prioritize maintaining intimacy can be beneficial.Open communication and a proactive approach are essential in addressing the issue and rebuilding intimacy.Taking responsibility for one's own behavior and role as a partner and co-parent is crucial in bridging the gap and reconnecting as a couple.Quotes:"You are basically identifying something that a lot of men, myself included, have seen in relationships with women who become mothers to our children.""Guys that I speak to in my own personal family friend circle and guys I speak to in the dad starting over world. They will all say, oh yeah, I went from number one to number like 92 on the list of things that my woman is concerned with.""You need your own culture and your own friend group and your own family around you, those people that have shown you over the years, this is how you stay connected to your spouse.""You clean up your side of the table, you do everything that you're supposed to be doing. Take a good, hard look at yourself.""You and me, we're going to work on this starting now. And you, from what I've seen, need to be the champion of this."The DSO Fraternity