Dearest Writer, We Really Miss You
from Down with Bowne (The Uncut Version) Hosted by Walter T Bowne
Literary magazines beg authors to return to writing for free. Beloved Writer, We noticed you have not submitted any poems or short fiction on Submittable to us with the required $25 reading fee. We really miss those fees. Well, as the reader, I really miss those fees. Can you blame me? Can you picture such an erudite and ambitious guy like me working at Dollar General? Heck, I’m publishing one of the best literary magazines in the Dakota Territories — and I can’t do that for free. I know. I know. It took us — me — and my tatted biker BF, like — what? A year to get back to you regarding those delightfully mediocre poems you sent us? Yes — but we — I mean, I promise not to take so long to reject your work. I may even have the time to offer a line of criticism, for you to consider. And when I do publish you in The Prairie Dog Digest — circulation 500 and growing— I promise to send you a copy that you can print and give to your boyfriend and mom, depending on where you get the chapbook published. Best, DeAnna deGruntë Editor PS: You haven’t been writing for Medium, have you?
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