Dearly Loved

"He loves you for who you are becoming because he sees you perfected through His Spirit working in you" -Melanie NewtonTo be dearly loved by God is quite honestly the most comforting thing I have to hold onto to in life right now. I am trying my best to be ROOTED and well established in genuine love, meaning to be grounded and stabilized in God's love for me- for all of us. To truly understand and believe that there is not anything I can do to be loved less or loved more. Oh, to experience a truly unconditional, impartial, everlasting, infinite, and perfect love (Richard Halverson).I have struggled my entire life to accept the idea that I am loved mainly due to how the people closest to me growing up expressed it. Then as I got older I had difficulties defining and recognizing healthy love patterns and establishing them for myself. I just knew feelings and often labeled them as good or bad  lacking stability in my life to know where those feelings stemmed from. Now being older, I have started my own journey to understand what Love is supposed to look like from myself and others. It has been difficult but this season of my life has  helped me answer questions such as "Am I loved for who I am and not what I do?", "Are the people around me aware of what real love looks like and do they exhibit it?", "Do I love how God loves and if not how can I take steps to do so?" and "How can I be more deeply rooted in love, especially when I am hurting?".I hope the  transparency of where I am at in life helps others find where they are too. It was not easy being honest about how I felt due to the fear of being judged or misunderstood. Things at times seem really confusing if I am being real. The people  that are closest to me, I love very hard and are the most aware of my struggles whether internal or external. Seasons change and so do people including myself... I am very sad at times thinking of what could have been when I remained hopeful for so long. I do understand that sometimes  what I am hearing as a "No" could be a " Not yet" from God , just as a delay is not a denial. Again to all the people I have told "I love you" looking back I know I really meant it and showed it the best way I knew how. I hope that I too can believe that those people dearly loved me just as much as they said they did.