Dee Salmin Went ‘Boy Sober’ For Three Years. This Is What She Learnt

Dee Salmin has spent years talking to other people about love, sex and relationships as the host of triple j’s The Hook Up. But behind the mic, her own dating life was far more complicated than you might expect. In her early twenties, Dee found herself stuck in a pattern — chasing men who were hot and cold, accepting behaviour she now knows she deserved better than, and constantly seeking validation that never quite stuck. So she made a radical decision. She stopped dating entirely. For nearly three years, Dee went “boy sober”, stepping away from apps, relationships and even casual flings to figure out who she was without men at the centre of her life. In this conversation with Kate Langbroek, Dee opens up about what that time taught her, the therapy that helped her understand her patterns, and the moment everything shifted. She also shares what it’s been like to find love again — this time in the public eye — and how she’s approached building a relationship on her own terms, without losing herself in it. And beyond her own story, Dee reflects on the reality of modern dating, why so many women feel like the bar is on the floor, and what it actually takes to build a relationship that feels secure, respectful and real. Dee Salmin's book is It’s Not Love, Actually is out now.  SUBSCRIBE here: Support independent women's media  SUBSCRIPTION GIVEAWAY: Win a $2,000 Bed Threads voucher. Subscribe to Mamamia here before April 30 to be automatically entered. Current subscriber? You're already in the draw. T&Cs apply You can now watch our show in full length video on the Apple Podcast app - make sure your phone is up to date and we can't wait for you to see. CLICK HERE.  What To Listen To Next: Listen: How Robin Bailey Survived Repeated, Unimaginable Loss Listen: Lisa Wilkinson Was Eveywhere. Then She Wasn't Listen: Natalie Bassingthwaighte: “The Night That Ended My Marriage” Listen: Chloé Hayden Knows the Cost of Being the Autistic Woman Everyone Looks To Listen: Concetta Caristo Changed Her Name to Escape a Violent Home Listen: Rachel Ward Looks Her Age. When Did That Become Radical? Listen: For 15 Years, No One Was Listening To Lainey Wilson. Now She's Everywhere Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here. Watch No Filter on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram here. Follow us on TikTok here.  Feedback: [email protected] Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP. Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review. CREDITS: Guest: Dee Salmin Host: Kate Langbroek Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown Executive Producer: Bree Player Assistant Producer: Coco Lavigne Audio and Video Producer: Josh Green Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.  Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.