Deep Blue Sea

On this episode Chris & Paul are joined by Jacob Cook from Citizen Web and the brains behind arkOS. The three shark wranglers are terrified of the future where elderly people are injecting shark brain juice. Jacob treats us all to a fantastic reboot of this film that we would all pay money to see. Want to watch this film (at your own risk)? It’s available for digital rental from the following services: iTunes Google Play Youtube Sony Deep Blue Sea is ranked 19 for the year of 1999 above Galaxy Quest, Three Kings and The Cider House Rules. Paul and IMDB tell us that director Renny Harlin “is the most successful Finnish film director.” He must be a national treasure for his work on Diehard 2 alone. Correction: Chris misspoke! Actor Thomas Jane is in the new (bad) film Vice. He is not in Inherent Vice. Paul decides Bruce Willis is himself, a movie trope. He also wonders if Michael Bay directed this film. Avengers unite! Saffron Burrows’ eyebrows, Samuel L. Jackson and Stellan Skarsgård are in this film prior to joining the Marvel universe. Nobody remembers Tattoo and Fantasy Island. Michael Rapaport has “the gift for gab?” The key failing of Free Willy? No Eminem. Chris is legitimately scared by this film. Zip drives are terrifyingly bad for your data. Jacob says the best actor award goes to the bird played by two actors. One did the parrot sounds and the other did the voice. Why isn’t Samuel L. Jackson going Snakes on a Plane on these sharks? Chris wishes Gilbert Gottfried played the parrot. A live listener who has a rad music blog called Anomaly wonders if the storm in the film is a Sharknado. The sharks destroy all the cameras watching them? Why can’t we be as smart as the sharks and stop giving our data away to corporations? We should use arkOS. How is that large window holding water back in this underwater facility? Is it transparent aluminum? Jacob & Neil deGrasse Tyson are having issues with the science on this film. This movie is no Jurassic Park. Close but no Goldblum. Paul is marketing LL On The Shelf next Christmas. Not to be confused with The Elf on the Shelf. It’s a revenge film like John Wick. Don’t mess with LL’s parrot. Paul thinks LL Cool J based his character on Inigo Montoya. This movie makes a “10 Best” list as well. 10 surprise deaths in blockbuster movies. The terrible secret of this film: the sharks have an eating disorder. The final shark death scene is reminiscent of Revengeofthe.ninja. Thanks again to Jacob Cook for joining the guys on this episode. Hopefully he’ll come back and do more. Or perhaps Jacob and a clever parrot can replace Paul & Chris? Support Film Frown on Patreon