Deep Dive: Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery
from The Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology Podcast
Abstract: With the world population now above 8 billion and three-quarters of a billion households to visit thanks to more millennials and zoomers living alone, the task of delivering toys around the world in one night is becoming increasingly difficult. Though an expansion of the naughty-list has attempted to decrease this annual burden, the nice list continues to grow, despite what your grandpa has been saying about younger generations not being as good as his. While I’m not getting any spryer, cutting-edge research from our R&D department manages to make the one-night toy delivery possible without outsourcing to FedEx [1] which would void my contract and I would lose my immortality [2]. This year we have made incremental improvements in the one-night path planning process by implementing NSGA-II, refined the clone genetics, further advanced the Sleigh integrated flight systems, and tuned upgraded from reindeer to Ramjets, switched to a new vigor serum now that we can’t source white Rhino horn, and improved our logistical warehouse network by crushing a union. All the 2022 improvements are projected to increase our Time per Household (TPH) from 8.2us up to 11.6us despite the population increase. Keywords: Christmas, Path Optimization, Traveling Salesman Problem, Cloning, Aeronautical Engineering, Aerial Countermeasures, Supersonic Flight, Super-human speed Vigor Serum, Parcel Delivery, Logistical Operations
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