Dementia, Caregiving & Exit Strategies: A Conversation with Madeline Jaye

This week on Dementia Discussions, I sit down with someone very close to my heart—my childhood best friend, Madeline Jaye. We reconnected after many years, and I was deeply moved to learn that she’s been navigating her own journey as a caregiver to her mother, Bonnie, who now lives with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Madeline doesn’t just share her caregiving story—she’s also transformed her experience into a one-woman play that’s as hilarious as it is heartbreaking.In this episode, Madeline and I reflect on what it means to care for someone who didn’t always care for you, how humor can be a powerful coping mechanism, and the complexity of aging, memory loss, and family dynamics. You’ll hear about the signs she missed, the chaos she uncovered, and the incredibly creative outlet that helped her process it all. Whether you're a caregiver, a theater lover, or simply someone interested in the raw truths of dementia, this conversation will stay with you.Episode Highlights: [1:43] Reconnecting with Madeline and discovering her caregiving story [3:15] When the signs started—how Bonnie's independence masked memory loss [5:27] Understanding “cognitive reserve” and its role in delaying diagnosis [7:50] The pivotal moment when Madeline confronted her mom [10:36] Navigating testing, early resistance, and inconclusive results [12:53] Bonnie’s home life and hygiene—early warning signs surface [17:41] The uphill battle of introducing help and home care [20:04] Strategies and resistance to caregiving support [23:40] Learning to separate the disease from the person [26:17] How Madeline’s play came to life—and the powerful message behind it [34:56] Playing every character in a solo performance [35:26] Humor in the heartbreak—yes, there’s bacon in the dish cabinet [39:27] Managing Bonnie’s bills, hoarding, and household neglect [44:36] The overwhelming task of stepping into her mom’s financial chaos [47:05] What made it into the play—and what may come next [48:17] Why writing became Madeline’s most powerful coping tool [50:01] Where and when to catch Dementia and Other Exit Strategies live [51:22] Reflecting on Bonnie—the dynamic woman we both knew Links & Resources:Madeline Jaye's Play Info: Dementia and Other Exit Strategies September 26 & 27 at IRT Theater, 154 Christopher Street, NYCInstagram: @madjmovesDo you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.