Depression, Compulsion, Culture Shock and Getting Woke with Erin Keam

I was a hyperaware child - intelligent and creative I first remember extreme depression at 13  - probably not a coincidence, hello hormones - dysfunctional childhood, but out of respect to mum, will frame as I took in data that didn't serve me   The shrink says that's probably when bi-polar triggered. I remember thinking there had to be better options out there - highly imaginative, evidence of slight mania in hindsight.   Chaotic work experience - never lasted more than two years, always motivated by avoiding depression, and growth, as well as whatever I was passionate about -  I never made it through university - just didn't have the ability to persevere back then.    Some jobs - customs officer, actor, copywriter,  alternative radio station, voice-overs, animal welfare officer,  swim school admin, realtor, wanted to be a funeral director at one point, tv & film production course, music magazine, sales, museum event coordinator, Tokyo newspaper, English to Japanese children using drama,  HMV DJ,     compulsive - went to London to follow a relationship and avoid depression caused by self-sabotaging choices and a ton of shame - fell in love with a woman, still in love with a couple of others, depression really bad, only stopped from doing self-harm by my sister, was hospitalized    I took off to Tokyo on a whim with a drag queen, ended up working for the Japanese mafia then Iranians selling jewelry on the street, hostess clubs, etc.   - depression always threatening, shame, shame, shame, self-medicated with alcohol - got sober in Tokyo   back in NZ, culture shock, BUT was finally diagnosed as super high IQ (yay) and BIPOLAR!!  always fascinated by psychology, what makes people succeed and how to help, plus creative, natural coach & marketer  Over two decades in peer-supported recovery, mentor-ship, and facilitator for change.  I always loved clothes and seen their connection to the life you want, (or in your case, nudity) and being a realtor helped me create my method as well. epiphany in Hawaii created a method in three days., beta tested, amazing results   Moved to the USA at 46, started my own business at 48. passionate about women making money to have agency and create change  - and it starts with your clothing - like it or not, you feel more confident when you feel you look great and in alignment with who you are. authentic, congruent, honest - no shame, loving your body and empowered to act, you are your message - attraction, not promotion  .  also, you are never too old. important to invest in yourself.  Married for the first time at 48. no kids - didn't trust myself to be a mother, then found out couldn't, glad I don't. I have a ton of young women in my life I love as well as other children, there is still a stigma around not having kids, but it's lessening I think.    most painful? still terrified of depression, feel I am a part-time human, SAD, imposter syndrome, hypnotherapy helps, so does medication, exercise, it's a daily challenge,    finally getting #woke at 52. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becoming-parents/message