Development: Stop Fixing, Start Coaching

Episode Summary: In this follow-up to last week’s discussion on the Development Square, Josh and John explore what happens after you’ve identified where someone is on their growth journey. Once you know where a team member stands—whether they’re in the foundation, immersion, empowerment, or multiplication stage—the next step is figuring out how to coach, teach, and lead them toward mastery. The hosts dig into two essential relationship dynamics that can either fuel or frustrate development: Pursuer vs. Distancer, where one person chases growth while the other avoids it, and Over-functioner vs. Under-functioner, where a leader tries to “save” others or a learner waits passively to be rescued. Drawing from David Brooks’ book How to Know a Person, they discuss what it means to practice accompaniment—walking alongside someone rather than solving problems for them. They pair this with practical frameworks from The Coaching Habit (Michael Bungay Stanier) and Humble Inquiry (Edgar Schein), showing how asking the right questions can rebalance responsibility and deepen learning. The episode then transitions into “gradual release”—a core concept in education that applies powerfully to leadership. Josh and John break down each stage of the model (“I do, you watch” → “I do, you help” → “You do, I help” → “You do, I watch”), explaining how leaders can adjust their coaching, feedback, and proximity as people grow in competence and confidence. Along the way, they tackle the tension between personalizing learning and maintaining accountability, and remind listeners that development requires both structure and stretch. Key Takeaways: Accompaniment builds trust and ownership. True development happens when leaders walk with others, not ahead of them. Beware of over- or under-functioning. Over-functioners rescue; under-functioners retreat. Both limit growth. Ask more, tell less. Use inquiry to invite thinking and responsibility—especially as people gain competence. Name the criteria for success. Learners need to know what “good” looks like before they can reach it. Gradual release is the art of letting go. Effective leaders fade their support as skill and confidence rise. Balance personalization with accountability. Adapt your approach, but don’t avoid necessary discomfort—growth lives there. Feedback loops sustain progress. Check for understanding early and often. Real-time coaching prevents drift. Listener Homework: Return to the team member you identified last week in the Development Square exercise. Ask yourself: Are you over-functioning or under-functioning in your support? Are you telling too much—or asking too little? Identify one way to rebalance your dynamic this week—whether it’s using a coaching question, creating clearer criteria for success, or scheduling a real-time feedback moment. Resources Mentioned: How to Know a Person — David Brooks The Coaching Habit — Michael Bungay Stanier Humble Inquiry — Edgar H. Schein The Voice-Driven Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram Concept: “Gradual Release of Responsibility” (Pearson & Gallagher, 1983)