第1652期:Is there a friend for life?

Who do you count as your friends? From our BFF to a work mate, it’s good to have someone to chew the fat with or offer comfort and support. But when it comes to friendship, is it more important to have quantity or quality?你认为谁是你的朋友？从我们的 BFF 到工作伙伴，有人一起咀嚼脂肪或提供安慰和支持是件好事。但是说到友谊，是数量重要还是质量重要？The recent isolation we have endured due to the coronavirus pandemic has made some of us question our friendships. We’ve fallen out of touch with friends and acquaintances, and it may feel awkward, but do we actually have to rekindle every relationship we once had? It might be time to take stock and think about who you kept in touch with, who you missed talking to, and who you didn’t. In short, maybe it’s time to reset your list of real mates.由于冠状病毒大流行，我们最近所忍受的孤立让我们中的一些人质疑我们的友谊。我们已经与朋友和熟人失去联系，这可能会让人感到尴尬，但我们真的必须重新点燃我们曾经拥有的每一种关系吗？可能是时候盘点一下，想想你和谁保持联系，你错过了和谁交谈，以及你没有和谁交谈。简而言之，也许是时候重新设置您的真正朋友名单了。There’s no obligation to stay friends, and writing for BBC Worklife, Bryan Lufkin says: “While people have known for years that friendships are unquestionably good for your health, experts say it’s only natural for acquaintances and even friends to fall by the wayside as time goes on – and it’s nothing to feel guilty about.”没有义务保持朋友关系，Bryan Lufkin 为 BBC Worklife 撰稿说：“虽然多年来人们都知道友谊无疑对您的健康有益，但专家表示，熟人甚至朋友随着时间的推移会自然而然地放弃继续——这没什么好内疚的。”Of course, it can be hard to choose who’s in your friendship circle. This is what Suzanne Degges-White, professor of counselling at Northern Illinois University, calls our ‘friendscape’. She says, “in life, as we go through certain stages and ages, our attention shifts, and we want to be around people who are like us.”当然，很难选择朋友圈里的人。这就是北伊利诺伊大学咨询学教授 Suzanne Degges-White 所说的我们的“朋友圈”。她说，“在生活中，当我们经历某些阶段和年龄时，我们的注意力会发生变化，我们希望和和我们一样的人在一起。”So, changing friends is normal, but we still need those special pals who’ve known us long term. These are friendships we invest time in. According to Robin Dunbar, a professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford, these are your inner circle of friends – your “shoulders to cry on” – and you have to see them at least once a week to keep them in that circle. He adds that the friends that do drift are mostly “friendships of convenience”. But the advice for maintaining a good friendship is to share how you feel with someone you trust – this can help strengthen your friendship as well as giving you both a chance to support each other.所以，换朋友很正常，但我们仍然需要那些认识我们很久的特别的朋友。这些是我们投入时间建立的友谊。牛津大学进化心理学教授罗宾·邓巴 (Robin Dunbar) 表示，这些是你内心的朋友圈——你的“哭泣的肩膀”——你必须至少与他们见面一次一周让他们留在那个圈子里。他补充说，随波逐流的朋友大多是“权宜之交”。但维持良好友谊的建议是与您信任的人分享您的感受——这有助于加强你们的友谊，并让你们有机会互相支持。词汇表BFF (best friend forever) 最好的朋友work mate 同事，工友chew the fat 闲聊comfort 安慰friendship 友谊out of touch 不常联系，疏远acquaintance 泛泛之交，相识的人rekindle 重新燃起（一段关系、感情）relationship 关系take stock 反思，仔细考虑mate 伙伴，朋友fall by the wayside 中途放弃，不再熟络friendship circle 交友圈friendscape 朋友圈pal 好友inner circle 核心（朋友）圈a shoulder to cry on 可以倾诉的对象drift 渐渐疏远friendship of convenience 由于便利而结成的友谊strengthen 增强，巩固