DIARRHEATRIBE

The [i]Dartford tunnel Took its toll on our patience and our love andMy wife, trapped in traffic,Fumed like an old kettle, fit to explode. At home and with time on my hands and mischief in mind,I turned to my mistress so fragrant and kind, and Took the time to ‘get it on’ once more.  In the lavender filled washing liquid flavored airWhich oozed out of the white, wet tray above The virgin white cube’s glass porthole,To the background Brazilian Bossa nova rhythm of The dirty dish washer I quickly put her on the cooker top and Screwed her lid right off!Know what I mean boys? Sure, my wife’s revolving bra’s and pants In shocked surprisePressed their face against the glass and[ii]Criticized my efforts, but this was a Well-practiced event now, A quick and illicitHunger-panging [iii]Guilt-ridden[iv]Aluminium pan banging affair‘Cause you see, me and Mrs.. Sharwood, well, [v]We got a thing goin' on  and Though we both know that it's wrong It’s just much too strong To let it go now Beaten by a 4lb hammer The [vi]Diamond wood grenade Unmercifully split the [vii]knotted hazelBringing the proud and unyielding log to its kneesLike a Pole axe pounded into a pink pigs head, and soStripped of its Samson like strength Its long grained meat now lay crackling in the fire. “Just one more screw” I thought“Before she barges through the door” andThe cork, Sucked out of the brown bottle’s neckBounced to exhaustion on the kitchen floor Sweet and sour chicken and some long grain riceThawed the fiery ice of commuter madness, and Served in front of a red hot roaring fire With some chilled white wine Unlike the M25, speedilyTurned winter into summer in Double quick,Quick double time “Thank you my dear” She said, “That was lovely” and “All that effort!” “Yeah,” I thought“You poor deluded thing.” Little did she know that me and Mrs. Sharwood, well, We got a thing goin' on  and though we Both know that it's wrong It’s just much too strong To let it go now © 2012 Victor Robert Farrell[i] Travelling anti-clockwise and North on the M25 will bring you to the Dartford Toll Tunnel which runs  under the river Thames for nearly 1.5km. [ii] My lovely wife, bless her, can’t help herself giving me advice in the kitchen! I think it’s because she has to clean up after me. [iii] At the time of writing, I hated the fact that at this point in our lives, it was mostly my wife that was seen to have a ‘proper job’, you know, one that brings in a steady wage. I hate the fact that she comes home so tired. I just hate it. Mind you, I have done it myself as well! [iv] If you are from the USA please feel free to insert Aluminum! [v] "Me and Mrs. Jones" is a soul song written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, describing an extramarital affair between a man and his lover, Mrs. Jones. CHORUS | Me and Mrs. JonesWe got a thing goin' onWe both know that it's wrongBut it's much too strongTo let it go now We meet every day at the same cafeSix-thirtySupport the show🎵 The Ballad Dodecet™  - Twelve Stories. One Epic Song. - 🔥 Step Into the Ballad Universe - Where twelve stories ignite a cosmos.🌍 A World Across Six Nations- From the mist-shrouded Highlands of Scotland to the deep hollers of Appalachia, the Ballad Dodecet spans: Scotland, England, Ireland-Northern Ireland,  Wales, -North America. Each volume taps into centuries of folklore, faith, and frontier resilience—binding together diverse cultures and long-whispered legends into one unforgettable tapestry of story and song.🎼 Where Music Meets Myth - Fiction, song, and folklore collide. - Each book is laced with:🎶 Original music,📓 Hidden journals & personal letters,📚 Companion fanbooks, 🔎 Easter eggs, crossovers, and spiritual insightsWelcome to a living, breathing world—ready to read, hear, and explore.🎧 ▶ LISTEN LIVE – WLMP 660 AM- HTTPS://WWW. KINGDOM.ROCKS  Tune in to We Love Mountain Praise for exclusive ballad broadcasts, story-backed songs, devotionals, and behind-the-scenes revelations.🛒 SHOP THE BALLAD- HTTPS://WWW. DODECET.COM Support the journey. Collect the songs. Wear the legend.