Disassociation, Dismissiveness and Distance: The Inability to be Present in Men

One of the chronic complaints many guys get from their partners is a lack of presence. This lack of presence typically shows up in the form of distance, being “checked out”, aloofness, or similar feelings, but the truth is, it’s actually the result of not being able to swim both in and out of the emotional plane. For many men, emotions are a foreign language, and when this is the case, it's difficult to create space for the emotions of others. Getting external support often allows you to develop greater self-intimacy and awareness that can be brought back to your partner. Listen in as Ryan & Slade cover why it’s so difficult to stay present to all that is happening as a man, and how to overcome this to create more depth, intimacy and connection in your relationship. SHOW NOTES: 00:00 – Ryan and Slade discuss the natural defenses that arise when faced with our own impact on our partners 03:51 – Hear Ryan’s personal story about his capacity to be present in relationships, and how it impacted his partner in the past. 07:49 – How our inner selves try to stop undesired experiences, but often end up making the situation worse. 09:11 – The importance of slowing down and taking the time to create presence 10:30 – You don’t have to do it alone: How the emotional work of men’s groups and therapy helps men rewire their reflexive patterns 11:35 – Practices you can try today to begin unraveling your presence in yourself and your relationship