DISCUSSION: When Fixing Replaces Feeling
from ISSUE Hosted by Jan-Willem Dikkers
We explore the profound psychological impact of the presence gap, a phenomenon where children are safely protected and loved but lack emotional attunement from their caregivers. We argue that when parents prioritize fixing over feeling, they inadvertently bypass the child’s need for emotional resonance, causing unexpressed pain to be stored as shame and self-silencing in adulthood. The source functions as a guide for healing, emphasizing that validation must precede solutions because it serves as a biological mechanism for nervous system regulation. Ultimately, we encourages adults to move toward wholeness by acknowledging that presence is more vital than protection, allowing them to finally process the feelings that were once ignored. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jwdikkers.substack.com
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