Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced.Get the companion worksheet for this episode:www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamicThe Family Institute at Northwestern University:https://www.family-institute.org/Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274“Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek:https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/“Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017):https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/“I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor:How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017):https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky:https://bookshop.org/books/fair-play-a-game-changing-solution-for-when-you-have-too-much-to-do-and-more-life-to-live/9780525541943?gclid=CjwKCAjwyryUBhBSEiwAGN5OCMpPV9pDU8oYDF4N2gccTwdOWo4hb8gHLsp3DfY1sTLi7IrxdD83YxoCGiQQAvD_BwE Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.