Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release) episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 7, 2026 · 1H 1M

Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release)

from Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon · host Dr Alexandra Solomon

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced. Resources worth mentioning from the episode: Get the companion worksheet for this episode: www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic The Family Institute at Northwestern University: https://www.family-institute.org/ Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/ Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout) https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101 “Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek: https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/ “Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/ “I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor: How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/ Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/books/fair-play-a-game-changing-solution-for-when-you-have-too-much-to-do-and-more-life-to-live/9780525541943?gclid=CjwKCAjwyryUBhBSEiwAGN5OCMpPV9pDU8oYDF4N2gccTwdOWo4hb8gHLsp3DfY1sTLi7IrxdD83YxoCGiQQAvD_BwE Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon: Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530 Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/ Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced. Resources worth mentioning from the episode: Get the companion worksheet for this episode: www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic The Family Institute at Northwestern University: https://www.family-institute.org/ Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/ Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout) https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101 “Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek: https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/ “Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/ “I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor: How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/ Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/books/fair-play-a-game-changing-solution-for-when-you-have-too-much-to-do-and-more-life-to-live/9780525541943?gclid=CjwKCAjwyryUBhBSEiwAGN5OCMpPV9pDU8oYDF4N2gccTwdOWo4hb8gHLsp3DfY1sTLi7IrxdD83YxoCGiQQAvD_BwE Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon: Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530 Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/ Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

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Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release)

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How long is this episode of Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon?

This episode is 1 hour and 1 minute long.

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This episode was published on April 7, 2026.

What is this episode about?

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for...

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