Ditching Your Father's Name & Feeling Obligated To Have Sex

In the inbox this week: figuring out your sexuality post trauma, feeling obligated to give your husband sex & how to tell your dad that you no longer want his name. Clementine answers: 5 years ago I was told my boyfriend had been trading my nudes like Pokémon cards at the pub with his friends. When I found out I was furious and left him immediately. Since then the thought of being physical sexually with a man makes me feel repulsed and some anger still flares up. I think I may have become asexual, but part of me feels like a fraud because I never used to be. How do I know what I am? I am unhappily married but choose to stay for my child. I really don't enjoy having sex with my husband and I haven't done so for the last five years since the birth of our child. I give him obligatory sex to keep the house peaceful. He is complaining that I am not engaged well enough in sex and its not frequent enough. Am I obligated to give my husband sex? After a year of productive therapy, a lifetime of evidence pointing toward my father being an actual, clinical narcissist and two years thinking about this decision, I have decided to drop the surname I share with him. But I'm at a loss for how to explain to him my reasoning as it will probably lead to me apologising for something I absolutely do not want to apologise for! How do I have the conversation? If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected] CREDITS Audio Production: Adrian Walton Managing Producer: Elle Beattie Executive Producer: Edwina Stott See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.