DLG349 Comedian Matt Ruby comes on to discuss his substack: "Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes." episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 25, 2026 · 59 MIN

DLG349 Comedian Matt Ruby comes on to discuss his substack: "Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes."

from Dr. Lisa Gives a Sh*t · host Lisa Levy

Comedian Matt Ruby and I agree there is a lot Non—Trump voters missed (myself included) about how society views a large group of men. It's not simple, especially since we are all in our info silos. Matt put out a great substack opinion piece on this topic. Even discussing this shit nowadays is risky, but necessary for all of us to understand these issues. I was inspired to listen to this Joe Rogan episode after our chat and it was further illuminating. We MUST UNDERSTAND the other people! Btw: Did you also know that Matt Ruby is an AWESOME COMEDIAN?? HERE'S PROOF More Matt Here: https://www.mattrubycomedy.com/ @mattrubycomedy/ The substack we discussed here: https://mattruby.substack.com/p/incessantly-calling-men-toxic-is Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes How to win 'em over: Less dunking, more persuading. It’s my fault. As ambassador of the elites, I take full responsibility for this defeat.First off, let’s admit it: He’s the greatest con man ever. The first time around, people might not have understood what was happening. This time, everybody knew — and they went for it anyway. When you get the marks to volunteer for the duping, you’ve achieved true con mastery. Am I mad? Nah. Frustrated, but this is just who we are. It’s the same way I feel about the rise in antisemitism. We act like something new is happening, but really we just moved the rock and are now seeing what was underneath all along. I’d rather stare it in the face than pretend it’s not there. This is who we are. (Also, let’s be real: I’m a white dude who lives in NYC so I’ll probably be insulated from the worst of it.) Plus, I kinda saw it coming… mattrubycomedy #mattruby #mattrubycomedian A post shared by @mattrubycomedy “Butts in seats” is the comedy version of elections. It’s our way of saying, “Scoreboard!” The lesson we’ve learned: You can go on Colbert 15 times and it won’t have the impact of one Rogan appearance. Especially if you wanna reach dudes. Ezra Klein explained this in the NYT: She should’ve gone on Rogan, and much else besides…But Rogan is symbolic of something bigger. There is an alienation that’s grown between young men and much of the Democratic Party. For years, there’s been no real way of talking about masculinity in liberal circles that didn’t attach the word “toxic” before it. There’s been a reveling in growing female strength and a deep critique of male culture. You can have any view you want on the merits of that, but it’s had consequences. The Republicans are the roast and the Democrats are the HR department. And America wants cruel jokes more than a DEI seminar. If any/all of this annoys you, I return to this question: Do you want to win next time or nah? Because what I’m really getting at… It’s time to realize that incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes. The truth is men are suffering and retreating right now. Richard Reeves has been discussing this at length. Here's a taste. I worry that we’re not signaling strongly enough to young men now we need you. We in very different spaces. We the families, we the mothers, we the labor market, we the community. Not just we need people, but we need you. And absent that sense of we need you, I think we see a lot of young men retreating. #mattruby #comedy #comedian

Comedian Matt Ruby and I agree there is a lot Non—Trump voters missed (myself included) about how society views a large group of men. It's not simple, especially since we are all in our info silos. Matt put out a great substack opinion piece on this topic. Even discussing this shit nowadays is risky, but necessary for all of us to understand these issues. I was inspired to listen to this Joe Rogan episode after our chat and it was further illuminating. We MUST UNDERSTAND the other people! Btw: Did you also know that Matt Ruby is an AWESOME COMEDIAN?? HERE'S PROOF More Matt Here: https://www.mattrubycomedy.com/ @mattrubycomedy/ The substack we discussed here: https://mattruby.substack.com/p/incessantly-calling-men-toxic-is Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes How to win 'em over: Less dunking, more persuading. It’s my fault. As ambassador of the elites, I take full responsibility for this defeat.First off, let’s admit it: He’s the greatest con man ever. The first time around, people might not have understood what was happening. This time, everybody knew — and they went for it anyway. When you get the marks to volunteer for the duping, you’ve achieved true con mastery. Am I mad? Nah. Frustrated, but this is just who we are. It’s the same way I feel about the rise in antisemitism. We act like something new is happening, but really we just moved the rock and are now seeing what was underneath all along. I’d rather stare it in the face than pretend it’s not there. This is who we are. (Also, let’s be real: I’m a white dude who lives in NYC so I’ll probably be insulated from the worst of it.) Plus, I kinda saw it coming… mattrubycomedy #mattruby #mattrubycomedian A post shared by @mattrubycomedy “Butts in seats” is the comedy version of elections. It’s our way of saying, “Scoreboard!” The lesson we’ve learned: You can go on Colbert 15 times and it won’t have the impact of one Rogan appearance. Especially if you wanna reach dudes. Ezra Klein explained this in the NYT: She should’ve gone on Rogan, and much else besides…But Rogan is symbolic of something bigger. There is an alienation that’s grown between young men and much of the Democratic Party. For years, there’s been no real way of talking about masculinity in liberal circles that didn’t attach the word “toxic” before it. There’s been a reveling in growing female strength and a deep critique of male culture. You can have any view you want on the merits of that, but it’s had consequences. The Republicans are the roast and the Democrats are the HR department. And America wants cruel jokes more than a DEI seminar. If any/all of this annoys you, I return to this question: Do you want to win next time or nah? Because what I’m really getting at… It’s time to realize that incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes. The truth is men are suffering and retreating right now. Richard Reeves has been discussing this at length. Here's a taste. I worry that we’re not signaling strongly enough to young men now we need you. We in very different spaces. We the families, we the mothers, we the labor market, we the community. Not just we need people, but we need you. And absent that sense of we need you, I think we see a lot of young men retreating. #mattruby #comedy #comedian

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DLG349 Comedian Matt Ruby comes on to discuss his substack: "Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes."

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This episode was published on March 25, 2026.

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Comedian Matt Ruby and I agree there is a lot Non—Trump voters missed (myself included) about how society views a large group of men. It's not simple, especially since we are all in our info silos. Matt put out a great substack opinion piece on this...

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