Do you wonder if you are doing more? You are.

We are in this amazing moment where we are trying to make a more equitable future by the ways that we structure our time and resources. We have never had more freedom to create meaning and systems that serve us. But cis women in hetero-relationships are still doing more of the work and feeling burnt out as the default parent even when they are also the breadwinners. I became a fan of Eve Rodsky when I saw her documentary. She is a Harvard-trained lawyer who works with families (like the one in Succession) to mediate wealth management and distribution. What does that mean? I only have TV and movie reference points. Eve had a day where she broke down over not getting the correct blueberries for her husband’s smoothies. Why should she be responsible for household management, family and social planning, and finance?The data is in – women actually do more work. And as a culture, we value their time less. Take for example, the idea that breastfeeding is free. Have you heard that? I sure have. I even thought it during the super brief week I was able to do it. BUT it’s not. It costs time. And we live in a culture where time is money. We need to start by uncoupling money with time. In her book, Fair Play, Eve helps us actually do the thing – make the work we do visible to our partners, have the hard conversations, and ask for what we need to create a more equitable and sustainable partnership. This is good for everyone. Bringing to light unspoken assumptions about who should do what and whose time is valuable. I hope you enjoy. Visit Eve’s website for TONS of free resources. BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS at peopleiveloved.substack.com/subscribe