Dobby's Grave Has Been Saved

Dobby fans have successfully defended a Harry Potter memorial from a major power cable, leaving the question of whether protecting a fictional grave counts as cultural preservation or simply moving infrastructure around some socks. Money-no-object staffing plans follow, with personal hair styling and full-time driving both making strong cases, before the complicated world of weddings enters the conversation. There’s a Wiggle among the wedding guests, the thankless job of being MC, speech length etiquette and one particularly risky sequence of jokes about marital infidelity. Law & Order supplies the magnificent name Speed Weed, a new kind of unofficial police warning is imagined, and school memories revive rubbish duty alongside “no hat, no play.” A Grim Reaper waving at hospital patients provides the darkest detour, while two golden retrievers finish proceedings by attempting to convince everyone that their perfectly real dinner was a shared hallucination. Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh