DOES TRUE LOVE REALLY EXIST IN THIS SUPERFICIAL TRANSACTIONAL WORLD?

There’s something deeply unsettling about the way we have learned to value one another in this modern world. The more I observe people, relationships, entertainment, social media, and the conversations happening around us, the more I’m convinced that we have become increasingly obsessed with the surface of human beings while losing our ability to recognize what exists underneath that surface. We look at age, physical appearance, money, sexual desirability, social status, accomplishments, possessions, and the lifestyle somebody can provide, and we often make a decision about their worth before we’ve taken the time to understand who they actually are. What makes this even more disturbing is that this way of thinking doesn’t only affect how we judge other people; eventually, it teaches us to judge ourselves by those same shallow standards, and that’s where the real damage begins. I’m not talking about one particular man or one particular woman, because this is much bigger than any individual. I’m talking about a mentality that has become increasingly normal in a culture where people can be reduced to photographs, short videos, statistics, relationship histories, bank accounts, body measurements, and whatever else can be displayed or discussed publicly. We have become so accustomed to evaluating people according to what they can offer us that sometimes we forget to ask the most basic question of all: Who is this person? What kind of character do they possess? What have they learned from life? How do they treat people when there’s nothing to gain? What happens to their personality when life stops giving them what they want? Those questions tell us far more about somebody’s value than the temporary appearance of their body ever could. This becomes especially important when we talk about romantic relationships because physical attraction is real, and I’m not going to insult anybody’s intelligence by pretending that it doesn’t matter. Physical attraction can be the spark that brings two people toward one another, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with appreciating somebody’s beauty or being physically attracted to them. The problem begins when attraction becomes the entire foundation of the relationship and we start confusing the body with the person living inside it. A beautiful body can get your attention, but it can’t tell you whether somebody has integrity. A handsome face can create desire, but it can’t tell you whether somebody is capable of loyalty. Money can make somebody comfortable, but it can’t guarantee that they will remain beside you when your circumstances change. Sexual chemistry can be powerful, but it doesn’t automatically create trust, wisdom, friendship, or commitment. Eventually, the body changes because that’s what the body does. The face changes, the hair changes, the skin changes, the muscles change, the energy changes, and the physical abilities that once seemed permanent begin to fade. A person who was once strong may eventually become frail. Somebody who once moved quickly may eventually need assistance. Somebody who once possessed tremendous sexual energy may eventually experience a completely different relationship with their body. None of that means the person has become less valuable. It simply means that time has done what time does to every human being who is fortunate enough to live long enough to experience it. That’s why I believe one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves about love is what remains when the physical advantages disappear. What happens when the beautiful body changes? What happens when the money disappears? What happens when the excitement becomes familiar? What happens when sickness enters the household? What happens when the person who once took care of everybody else suddenly needs somebody to take care of them? Those are the moments that reveal whether we loved the person or whether we simply loved what the person provided for us, because there’s a tremendous difference between loving a human being and being attached to the benefits that come from having that human being in your life. One of the most disturbing developments in modern relationship culture is the way people sometimes speak about other human beings as though they’re products with expiration dates. Somebody becomes too old, somebody becomes too experienced, somebody has too many children, somebody has gained weight, somebody no longer looks the way they did when they were younger, and suddenly people begin talking about them as though their value has somehow depreciated. It’s almost as though we’ve created an imaginary marketplace where human beings are assigned a price based on age, appearance, sexual history, money, and physical condition. But people aren’t automobiles, and there’s no legitimate book that can tell you what a human being is worth based on the number of years they’ve lived or the condition of their body. Think about how strange that mentality becomes when you apply it to other areas of life. We often value experience when it comes to doctors, teachers, craftsmen, professionals, and people who have spent years developing knowledge and skill. We understand that somebody who has lived through difficult circumstances may have wisdom that somebody younger simply hasn’t had enough time to acquire. Yet when we enter the world of relationships, some people suddenly begin treating age and experience as though they’re defects. That makes no sense because the same years that may change the body can also deepen the mind, strengthen character, develop patience, and give somebody an understanding of life that cannot be purchased or manufactured. I think part of the problem comes from the culture we have consumed for decades. We’ve been surrounded by images that constantly tell us what we’re supposed to desire and what we’re supposed to reject. Youth is celebrated as though it’s the highest form of beauty. Physical perfection is displayed everywhere. Money is presented as proof of success. Sexual conquest is often treated as evidence of masculinity or desirability. Relationships can become status symbols, and people can begin looking at partners almost as trophies that demonstrate how well they’re doing in life. When you absorb enough of this, eventually it begins to shape your thinking, and you may not even realize how deeply it has entered your mind until you find yourself judging another human being according to the same standards that were taught to you. The tragedy is that the same system that teaches us to judge other people eventually teaches us to judge ourselves. A woman may begin to believe that her value is disappearing because she’s getting older. A man may become terrified that his worth is declining because his body isn’t as strong as it once was or because he can no longer command the same attention he received when he was younger. People begin chasing youth, chasing beauty, chasing money, chasing sexual validation, and chasing approval because they’re afraid that if those things disappear, nothing valuable will remain. But that’s precisely where we have to challenge the programming, because if your entire sense of worth is built around things that time is guaranteed to take away, you’ve built your identity on a foundation that was never permanent. I’m not saying people shouldn’t take care of themselves. Quite the opposite is true. We should eat properly, exercise, stay active, maintain our appearance, protect our health, and do everything reasonable to live a long and productive life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, feel good, and remain physically capable for as long as possible. But there’s a difference between taking care of the body and worshiping the body. We have to understand that the body is a temporary vessel, and if we make the vessel our entire identity, we’re going to spend our lives terrified of the very thing that eventually happens to everybody. That brings me to another question t… Get full access to LanceScurvX at www.lancescurvx.com/subscribe