Don't shove giant cukes up your anus.

Let's help you over that hump! I'm off to Madison later today to see Ice Nine Kills & Dayseeker at the Sylvee. Looking forward to a quick night out on the town. In the news this morning, Vice President JD Vance is coming to La Crosse tomorrow, Ryan Borgwardt was sentenced for faking his own death & fleeing the country, a recall on Hostess Ding Dongs, Cracker Barrel caves to the pressure and goes back to the original logo, and of course…the news of the day…the week…the year…it's the engagement of Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce. In sports, the Brewers walked-off the Diamonbacks last night, MLB released it's 2026 schedule, a look at this week's NCAA football line-up, and Willson Contreras gets suspended. Elsewhere in sports, Becky Lynch said some disparaging things about Ozzy's hometown and now Kelly Osbourne is PISSED! The NCAA & Venmo have teamed up to try and end athlete abuse from gamblers, Caitlin Clark gets her very own NIKE logo, and a guy in Tennessee named "Babe Ruth" is in trouble for trying to submit phony claims in class action lawsuits. A recent survey found that 33% of people have NEVER stolen toiletries from a hotel. And another 33% of people would support sending the National Guard to their hometown to clean things up. We let you know what's on TV today/tonight and discussed a list of the best fart scenes in the movies. A woman in Australia posted a video of her mailman taking her laundry off the line when it began to rain while he was delivering her mail, and a dude dug through 20 tons of trash & sludge to find his wife's lost wedding ring. We discussed the hot, new exercise "trend", and an interesting story about Esports professionals talking to kids about trying to become a professional gamer. In today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about Google A.I. giving out incorrect restaurant specials, the Orgy Dome at Burning Man got damaged and won't be available for the music festival, an EXTREMELY drunk Iowa woman is in trouble for trying to get random people to blow into her interlock device at a gas station, a guy who set a restaurant on fire after they ran out of mayo, and a woman in Russian who had to go to the hospital after a giant cucumber got stuck in her ass.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.