Dr Emily - Tough Love vs Shame episode artwork

EPISODE · Aug 16, 2026 · 1H 20M

Dr Emily - Tough Love vs Shame

from The Imperfects · host Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

Is tough love to blame for our shame? 💌Join 9,200+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10’s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn’t going anywhere good. Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you). We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult. Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date. 0:00 – Ever heard of a shame stripper?6:27 – Bow down to Brene Brown12:25 – The other self-conscious emotions (they’re shy)20:51 – Humour and humiliation29:21 – Shame is a full body experience36:16 – Beware of who you share (with)40:43 – Manosphere + behaviour change46:59 – Tough love + kids sport57:07 – Working with shame1:06:10 – Bring on the compassion!1:10:07 – Introducing the Healthy Adult If you’d like to watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link - 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - Maria Ruberto - https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh 🎧 Things to listen to Between Two Beers with Steven Adams - https://bit.ly/4g3wipS 📚Things to read Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown - https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert - https://bit.ly/3UewPOq Movember study of the Manosphere - https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs Proneness to shame vs proneness to guilt research by Tangney et al. - https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl 📖Things to do The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer - https://bit.ly/4zg353K Othership (breath work app) - https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published Aug 16, 2026

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