Dr Everett Worthington on promoting forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland (10#)

2:12 - started as a nuclear engineer.3:14 - Ev's mission is to do all I can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland.4:16 - why is forgiveness so important to you?6:01 - why is forgiveness so hard?8:05 - what causes hurt.9:28 - what is justice.10:07 - both revenge and reconciliation is required for survival.11:00 - the consequences of holding onto a grudge.12:04 - spiritual consequences of holding onto grudges.12:18 - mental health consequences of grudges.13:33 - impact on physical health.15:54 - does forgiveness let the other person off the hook?16:30 - two types of forgiveness.17:38 - you can forgive too early.17:56 - you can both forgive and hold them accountable.18:17 - the hardest thing Ev has forgiven.18:43 - there are some things that I just don't think I can forgive.19:10 - all events are forgivable.19:18 - injustice gaps.20:23 - forgiveness is not the only way to deal with injustice.21:23 - REACH forgiveness model.22:03 - R: Recall the hurt.22:32 - E: Empathise.23:32 - A: Altruistic gift. Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves.24:11 - C: Commit24:21 - H: Hold onto the commitment to forgive when I doubt.24:51 - feeling angry doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.25:46 - repeat offenders.27:35 - Christian view on forgiveness.28:16 - applying the empathy step of REACH.29:46 - what to do when we're the offender.30:31 - make it right with what you hold sacred.30:51 - make it right with the person.31:12 - CONFESS model for the offender.31:26 - C: Confess without excuse.31:47 - O: Offer an apology.31:59 - N: Note the other person's pain.32:09 - F: Forever value the person.32:35 - E: Equalize.32:46 - S: Say 'never again'.32:58 - S: Seek forgiveness.33:19 - make it right psychologically with yourself.33:46 - use REACH to forgive yourself.34:29 - hardest step: accept myself.34:56 - struggle with self acceptance is what keeps psychotherapists in business.35:12 - last step: live virtuously.35:22 - Ev's personal experience with self forgiveness.40:59 - it's hardest to help the people closest to us.43:13 - helping a country to forgive: contribution in South Africa after Apartheid.45:39 - difference between personal and group forgiveness.48:00 - the difference one person can make through forgiveness.48:20 - forgiveness research has taken off in recent years due to international need for reconciliation.49:54 - the role humility plays in forgiveness.50:19 - what humility actually is.53:35 - free resources for forgiveness and humility.53:44 - how to get in touch with Ev.54:25 - final thank you.More detailed show notes with links and references can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-everett-worthington/