King me draft night. King me draft. Welcome to King me. LLC presents draft night December 2025.
Draft night is not the only one with the heart. Five. This is our fifth draft. You've drafted five.
Four times before tonight is number five. Wow. I know last in April, we drafted in space. We did a space draft night.
I mean, you know what a draft in space is. That's a negative pressure vacuum. That sucks you out. That's actually a tumbling in through the cold, but we're going to space with all of our bad guys.
What were we actually drafting for? What was the objective? I don't know. I'm glad you asked, Dan.
It's weird. I wouldn't be glad I asked in that situation. I couldn't tell you anything about it. I really, man, my brain, I'm glad that there's a record, at least, of my brain deteriorating.
You know, on microphone here. Over the course of 10 years, just slowly turning into moshad. Would you be surprised to find out one day that we say the exact same thing every single time? If that came across our desk, we got an email.
It's like, hey, really liking this bit where you guys recite the same script every episode. If you told me that we were recording the same exact episode, the same movie, we just did it over and over again, I would believe you. Yeah. Like if you told me I woke up in a nursing home and this is some sort of like, shut her eyelid style experiment to heal me of something.
If this was a revge banister in a nursing home but having visions of other nasty ladies under your bed. Yeah, nasty ladies under my bed, other podcasts that I've recorded, something like that, then I would believe you. You do a good bit, you riff a good bit, boy. Yeah.
Yes. Boy. Boy. Funny.
It's nothing. Not even close. Not even a little bit. You know what's nice though?
What? We started the year with a draft with draft night three. Did we? Yeah.
The first episode of 2025 was draft night three colon draft night twenty twenty five colon twenty four. Which I assume was a retrospective. Yeah. I mean it could have been like a precognition.
Right. Right. We're not even that. That's a milk, are we?
No. I mean we are but not because of that. Not just to clarify, when you say sitting in bed of milk, you're talking about the photon milk that acts as both a nutrient supply and a liquid conductor. Obviously that's what I'm talking about.
Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool. So I think in the spirit of the episode that started this year, this should be called draft night five colon draft night three part two. Draft night twenty twenty five colon twenty twenty four.
You have to write that down because you'll never remember that. Twenty twenty four redux. Redo. You pronounce it redo by one of those reasons.
Really? Yeah. It's silly right? Someone laughed at me.
For saying reducks. For thinking it was reducks and they're like oh no. You silly pig. It is redo.
Well then spell it that way. Like Frank Dukes. Like Frank Dukes who may get drafted. We don't know.
We don't know. So let's set the parameters for this draft. Recently we learned that in the 1960s the United States military attempted to weaponize Pennywise. You weaponize the Pennywise.
We're in the badge. Are you chosen? Yeah. In an effort to keep the American.
There's a man who has no sense of humor about themselves huh? Where's she getting some machine? Nothing right. I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think. If they ever crack me with a joke. Look I think a man with a sense of humor about itself would take pause at five sided fist that gone and be like sure it makes sense but is it good? Yeah.
Here's what we do. Here's what we do. Recently we learned documents were unsealed through FOIA requests revealing that Pennywise was weaponized in the 1960s to keep the American public in a state of perpetual fear thus making us, we the people compliant and instilling a sense of blind nationalism. A solid plan I think.
Except for one little thing. Mm-hmm. Nobody tells that client what to do. And we were both so sort of captivated by this revelation and recent depictions of media that we were like okay well Pennywise can be unleashed to fight the Cold War.
What other fictional characters could we enlist? Right. Could we draft? Fictional characters and characters based on real people.
I'll have Frank Dukes. Like I'll have Frank Dukes. Not totally real. I mean I would say.
I would say. I would say. Sure. There's a man who's like my name is Frank Dukes but you're like your name is Frank Dukes.
D-U-X. D-U-X. As in Redux but redo Frank Dukes. Like put up your dukes.
Even though he's a kicking guy. That's interesting. Yeah he does a lot of kicking. He holds the world record for the fastest kick.
I don't know if you know that. I know he said it. So we're going to be drafting from any of the movies that we watched in 2025. Any of the characters there?
Any of them? Any of the characters from if you see it in your if you think the best way to defeat the threat of global communism is to draft Tracy Flick. You could do that. Fuck.
Yeah. So we are doing with that said we are doing both main feed and patreon.com slash Kameepod feeds. Well this is great because starting this Friday we're going patreon only patreon.com slash Kameepod. That's right.
We're 3D guys. No. We're tired guys. We're tired guys.
We're two tired guys. We're sleepy boys. We simply don't have the time. And we're going one week and it's going to be on patreon on Fridays and you can sign up it for $5 a month and you get the episodes over there.
Except for the occasional new Stephen King property that comes out which will be for free on main feed. Now we're going to be talking about like Dan said main feed episodes and patreon episodes. All of these episodes are available on patreon.com. So if you're like wait a second you guys did a whole episode on underworld or election or my darling Clementine what sensing a theme are you the most schizophrenic.
Then yeah go check that out on patreon.com slash Kameepod. That's the thing. Yeah. You'll get the weekly and our huge back catalog.
See this is I mean a dumper of a back catalog. So how many picks do we get Dan? Last time we did this we got five each. Okay.
That's a pentavorate to quote Mike Myers. Yeah I think we it's going to be tough. This is tough. I already see like nine of these that I want.
I want them to fight my to be on my team to fight communism. Yes. Yes. But yeah five five sounds right I think.
Yeah. We can always we can always keep going if after five we're like oh I'm going to need more reinforcements. I need one more. One short.
I'm putting together a team. Oh no I forgot to get a demolitions expert. That sort of thing. Yeah.
Oh sorry what are you going to say? No no go on. Well I was going to say let's determine draft order. Okay.
Real quick but if you have more you know. No I was going to immediately deter us with a sidebar but you go on. Do it. Go ahead.
So John Datero. So I was looking up future Stephen King projects and things that are coming down the pipeline. Right. A lot of things in development that will never happen.
In shell law. Yeah yeah yeah but the thing that is almost definitely going to happen is the Mike Flanagan Kerry thing right the. The series. I know I know.
Who's in that. See this is what I wanted to talk about. So Matthew Willard plays the person. That's right.
That's right. Matthew Willard who in an interview said this will he said it transcends horror. That's what you want to horror movie to do right. It's not be not be horror.
Yeah a lot of you know your Mike Flanagan regulars in here of course we love to see it. So one Mike Flanagan regular that jumps out at me that I'm very interested to watch is Samantha Sloyan as Kerry White's mother. Hand in glove fit. Yeah I mean like a little too a little too snug right a little too like perfectly fit.
Yeah. Almost similar to midnight mass right where she's like the super religious lady but I think I just want to see her go you know Aepeshit bananas. Yeah talking about dirty pillows. I just don't want to see her dirty pillows.
Just put those fucking dirty pillows away. Filthy pillows away. When it's you know and you have like an old pillow it's all like yellow. Yeah.
Or some comedian that years ago they were like what is leaking out of our heads. Mike it looks like a bunch of old mummy bandages. I think it was Robbie Hoffman. Is that who it was?
No well no no her new special she's got a bit where it's like she's like I grew up horror which means I don't I don't like a soft towel only like an old scratchy towel. Give me an old scratchy towel and a yellow yellow pillow. It's relatable. Very relatable.
I don't like a towel truly don't like a towel until it's been washed a hundred times. I kind of agree it feels like it doesn't absorb anything. Yeah I feel like it's like it's like squeeging the water. Yeah it's just moving the water around.
Absorb this please. Yeah. Oh cool a hydrophobic towel. Ridiculous.
Proposerous. Alright here's how I think we'll do this. Okay. I forget how we did it last time.
Well okay. How about we do like three to one go and on go. You hold up the number of fingers between one and ten that you want to be your number. Okay.
That I want to be my number. Yeah. And then what? And then I'm going to do a random number generator and whoever's closer.
Okay. Okay. Alrighty. Yes.
I'll call it off. Oh see this is interesting I'm starting with fists and I'm starting with ten. No. And then we just switched.
I feel like don't give them nothing. But you're like ten. Well I was starting there and I was going alright go on. It'll be three to one go and on go you do your thing.
Okay. Three two one go. Alright Rob has done two and I've done ten. It's sort of an homage to the conversation we just had.
Okay. Let me pull up my random number generator. Okay. So you can see it so you know everything's above board.
Okay. And the number generator and whoever's closest gets. Whoever's closest gets to go first. Alright.
Or choose if they go first or not. But why the hell when you go first? Alright. Alright Dan is requesting the button now.
Click. Oh and the number is four. It's four. Two is closer to four than ten is.
I believe so. The least though. I can google that if you don't mind waiting a second. Click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click.
It is a hair closer. So you get the first overall pick in the draft against communism. Draft against communism. And we have to act fast because Zora Montani is going to be taking office any second.
So chop chop. Montani. Montani. Did you see?
Wait I'm sorry. No let's go. Did you hear the thing about Eric Adams post? I've no idea.
Hold on. It's one of the craziest sentences I've ever read lately. I got to pull it up. Pull it up.
Okay. I saw this earlier today. I go back. I'm done.
Okay. These are Eric Adams post mayoral plans. Okay. So, Eric Adams is Eric at scoop.
Eric Adams to launch bar mitzvahs on the blockchain of a spoke service that will pair crypto investor mentors with Jewish tween mentees ahead of their coming of age ceremony, which will be M C'd by the former mayor at a club of his choosing. What? So, let me open this in the window that I'm sharing so you can also see the picture they chose. Jesus Christ.
Where did he get? Where the hell did he get that jacket? That's awesome. Okay.
Yeah. So that's what we're losing. Honestly, Obama, the guy's hilarious. What is going on in the world?
He's always welcome to wait the table of my success. Eric, I extend to you in all of right now. Okay. Yeah.
Isn't that just like a string of words? I just read you. Yeah. No, it's definitely.
I don't understand what's going on in the world anymore. So, I feel every day, every single day, I feel more and more like a caveman who has been de-fought. I've been a scene-oh man, if you will. That is just, wait, what?
Every day is, wait, what? It's like, you remember when people used to be like, we're living in idios, yeah. They're kind of indicated, but I think more accurately, you might say we're living in that Hieronymus botch painting. Everybody's playing trumpet with their butt.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's more of a good body thing. Everyone's a pair of human legs with a fish head. Yeah. Wow.
Well, on with our draft night, part five, wait, what was it? It's draft night five colon, draft night three, part two, colon draft night 25, colon 24 Redux or redo. Or redo. It's 2024 or Frank Dukes.
2024 or Frank Dukes. Okay. Okay. So, I go first, eh?
You do. You do. Okay. Now, there's just a sort of like, set the stick, because you got a lot you can choose from here.
Yeah. So, at the beginning of the year, there's a powerful guys and gals in there. Yep. We did our space villains.
You know, they're, you know, we will, the part of the Cold War is the space race. We all know this. This is true. What a nightmare to win the space race only to get up into space and have to fight a Jason or a group of critters.
A war critters for. Yeah. Of course, there's little bad guys. We were up against little bad guys.
Well, yeah, we had, we did the Joe Dante series. Oh, you know, I did use those interchangeably. Yeah. Yeah.
Of course, mostly little bad guys, mischievous guys. Mischievous guys. And one werewolf. Yeah.
One swinging werewolf. You got, of course, you could have any number of hard boiled detectives on the case. I, I choose Jeffrey Lebowski to fight communism. You're going to choose one of the, you're going to choose one of the original members of the Seattle, is it seven?
Seven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
One of the authors of the first draft, not the compromised. Oh, what about, we did, I mean, we did some Stephen King stuff as well. We did the monkey. We did Chuck, Chuck life.
What if I want the pocket queen to be on my, I mean, every standing military need like someone playing a snare drum? Yeah, right. Yeah. When did that go out?
Huh? I mean, probably around the same time all the, my barista died, died their hair. Ah, I know. I think I'm gonna.
No, I think I'm gonna. You think there's definitely a little drummer boy for the Civil War and then, I don't know, after that we kind of lose a threat a little bit, I think. But I mean, the number of drummer boys over, it used to be you had a baby in a barn, a drummer boy would show up. Well, of course.
That was last week. But then like, Fury Road, they were, they have like a whole percussion. They have a whole metal band. They had a whole metal band.
They were doing like, poly rhythms and everything. They were really getting after it. They're doing, doing tool covers in the post-apocalypse. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Pusifer. Pusifer covers.
As I say, I don't know. I don't either. It's none of my business. You could have Ty Cobb on your team.
You could have Ty Cobb. Any number of, you know, fastest gun. Have a point of use. You could have any of the fastest guns in the west, of course.
Of course. Anyone from the Phantasm universe, all six of, any of the six characters in those five movies. Yeah. I heard, no, sorry.
Go on. Go on. Go on. Go ahead.
What'd you hear? No, no. All right. Somebody, what were we just saying?
God, my brain is deteriorating in real time. Just talking about mispronouncing words. I don't know. I heard somebody pronounce the word Atlas eight less.
Look, I tell, uh, I tell us, I tell us what this is. That's a, I think it's pronounced Atlas. That's a list. I tell us.
But also it's one of those things that like nobody says Atlas really. And if you never hear anybody say the word, then you're just reading it and you could be reading it wrong. I don't know. That's very kind.
I would say it's not even spelled like phonetically. Yeah. I know, but I was very kind. All right.
Whatever. Yes. We could come here to be kind though. I came here to win this draft.
Yeah. A bunch of baseball players. Hey, what's more American and anti-comy than baseball? That's how we do how we win this.
Yeah. We win, we win their hearts with sluggers. That's right. What about like a Homer at the bat, a team of rangers?
Yes. What about a bunch of fucking juiced up gorillas like in Congo? Okay. Those like albino gorillas?
Yeah, the scary ones. Not a what's her name Veronica? Amy, of course. Amy, the good gorilla.
Amy was like gorilla. Amy was such a. Every woman in the 90s was named Amy. Are you calling every woman in the 90s a gorilla?
I'm calling that gorilla a woman. She's very sophisticated. She drank martinis. She spoke cigars.
Yeah. Sort of a, she's not like the other girl. She's sort of a guys girl. She's kind of like the cool gorilla.
Amy will sit down and watch a football game. She could crack a beer with the guys. You know who else you could have on your roster here? Here's that.
Amy, either of Abraham's boys. I don't know. You have either of them. Of course, Abraham's boys is something that I know a lot about and I am not looking up.
Of course, we're talking about Max and Rudy. Rudy and Vanuyl. That's right. Yeah.
You remember, one's blonde? Uh, kinda. Okay. All right.
And then, okay, we didn't actually watch this, but it is on the sheet. So I feel like it's fair game and we got so close to watching it. Can you select something from chopping mall? Not select chopping mall.
We all know what we watched. What we watched instead. Instead of chopping mall, I'm sure it's. Oh, I do remember it.
It was a incident on and off a mountain road. Yeah. Yeah. Moonface.
Hey, not a bad pick. Hey, Moonface is a bad guy. He's nasty business and strong. So strong.
You could pick the consortium of millionaires that runs the Los Angeles water supply. You could pick capital against communism. This is true. This is true.
Settle this thing once and for all. What if I picked like, I don't know, a bunch of like a manic pixie dream girl and stuff? What if I chose like, uh, fucking Jason Schwartzman or whatever. And junk.
And junk. You could do that. What's the, do you remember the first boyfriend's name I was trying to remember? The one who they say is dressed like a pirate, even though he is not.
I don't. It's something Patel. Matthew. Matthew Patel.
You could pick Matthew Patel. You could. But of course you're going to pick dot dot dot dot with the first overall pick in the, uh, oh wow. draft against communism.
Um, can I just say before we jump into this? Yeah. Uh huh. In doing research for like, whenever we do a movie and I'm like, I watch the movie, I'll usually have like the Wikipedia and the IMDb up, take some notes, et cetera.
And then like, you know, maybe a couple of days go by and then we record the episode. And I bring all of those websites back up and then Google, Google makes puts a little tag on it that says visits often above like a Wikipedia page or something. And I don't care for the judgment. It's very like, uh, uh, I don't know your, it feels like you.
Okay, bro. Yeah. Are you all right? Why do you keep visiting the Scott Pilgrim Wikipedia page?
Trying to, trying to suss out the, if you can handle the social collateral of dating a high schooler. It's not so bad. He's kind of a hero. You say to yourself.
Oh, it's fine. I visit Abraham's boys IMDb often. All right. All of that out.
Now my first pick, Jesus Christ. Oh God. Wow. This is, I feel pressure here.
Now if I like, okay, I want to, I have a question for before we, before we really jump into this, right? Sure. Sure. So if I say like, you know, Jason Voorhees, that's obviously that's one guy.
He's stalling. He's stalling. Go on. Like, can I say the Gremlins?
Yeah. I think so. They're, they function as a, as a unit, right? Yeah.
They're sort of like a seal team six type of thing, like on their own, like seal team six. Yeah. Like seal team six on their own. Any one of them is just a drug addict, womanizing, murdering psychopath.
Right. But together they, they're charming as charming rogues. I, oh man. Now I want to see the Gremlins on a mission movie.
That's what Gremlins three should be is them going on a mission. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Gremlins, Sicario, sort of thing.
Cremlins in Sicario. All right. Well, my first pick is the Gremlins. I love those guys.
Okay. The Gremlins. The Gremlins. Any of the new batch.
Yeah. Gremlins, parentheses, new batch. Has to be new batch. Yeah.
Cause you're, here's the thing. You're not, you know, you're getting the mischief, right? Yeah. The hijinks and whatever, but there's going to be, uh, you've got a brain gremlin who's really good at sort of like messaging and propagandizing.
Yes. We see this. Um, yeah, the violence, uh, will sort itself out naturally. So just a fact of war.
Yeah. They're also like, uh, they just regenerate on their own, you know, just sort of like, all right. Well, you just get these guys wet and there's a ton more of them. We got, you can't, you can't stop these guys, you know.
Yeah. And you're referring to what happens when the red army sees Greta. Yeah, of course. They're soaking wet.
Yeah. It's, I mean, we joke, but honey pot operation. Yeah. A Greta honey pot operation.
Do you ever hear the thing, one of like the many insane Fidel Castro exploits where like, um, someone was sent to honey pot him and he just made her fall in love. What? Yeah. She just, he fucking put his thing down, flipped it in the first.
Truly. Yeah. I, who knows if it's apocryphal, like the thing about him inventing the Euro step, but the fact that we're saying it, wait, what is the Euro step? I don't know if that is.
Euro step is a basketball move where you, uh, because of the rules around traveling, there's like a way where you like take two big steps toward the basket without dribbling and like go for a layup. And there is some like apocryphal accounts saying that he invented the Euro step. But I don't know if it's true. I think it's untrue.
In fact, it has to be, I think he is a sport. Oh, he loved he did love basketball and he did love baseball. Yeah. Interesting.
But you're a gremlins. Yeah. Oh, where are you going to say? No, I was wondering if this is like Kim Jong thing where he's just like, I make the sunrise and I don't think so.
Kim Jong is just like a little fat guy. Sure. Castro, lean. Lean and mean.
Zero percent body fat. Too many cigars guys. All we eat in cigars here. Basically.
Yeah. So we have some metabolism, a pump in. All right, Dan. It's your turn.
Okay. So I have a long history of fucking this up. Yeah. This is draft night five and Dan has not been able to succeed once.
I haven't been able to figure out how to do it. Uh huh. I have like what I feel is sort of a sleeper pick. Okay.
But I'm a, I think you're going to tell me it's stupid. Like you know, I went out and think of something in my head. It's a great idea. And then you point out that it's a bad idea.
I can't wait to hear it. I, I, I'm picking, I'm picking the trees from the happening. The, the trees that make you kill yourself. Yes.
Yeah. I'm going to unleash them all of the plants, right? Not just the trees. I assume.
I, I don't know. You just want the trees. No, it can be all the plants. All right.
All the plants. The happening. I thought it was just, those happen in happening about marijuana, baby. Okay.
You think it's stupid. No, I don't think I think that that's a great subtle way for the problem to sort itself out. Yeah. You just drop in them in and then they're like, kill yourself.
Yeah. Just a bunch of like, if you were able to fly planes over a bunch of seeds and just. Yeah. We're seed bombing.
Seed bombing. You know about that? I, I think I do. Gorilla eco activism.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing that.
Yeah. And it'll take 10 years to really sort of germinate. Yeah. But it's a good long term plan.
Yeah. By that time communism will have infected the minds of all. Well, then there will be no sort of like friendly fire here. I suppose not.
If you could somehow target these suicide plants to communist thinking brains. Well, hold on. I'll take you on better. Okay.
Do you think there's a way to genetically modify these plants to instead of making you kill yourself, making me like, I love Coca-Cola. I love hot dog. Oh, now we're changing the whole premise here. You're like, oh, what?
No. Come on. I mean, the gremlins aren't capitalists. No, they're just agents of chaos.
But I think if you want to reach agents of chaos on the commies, they're going to have their hands full and not. They love procedure. They love procedure. They're not going to know what to do.
They're going to be so distracted with all the gremlin problem that they have that they won't have time to be sharing everything with each other. You know? I think my idea is good too. I like your idea.
No, that's okay. Thank you. I thought it was like a cool sort of ingenious pick. It's a, like you said, it was like a sleeper pick.
And it is. It's a subtle, it's not flashy. It's not going to, you know, there won't be any hijinks or anything. It will simply work in a cruel, cold, annihilating way.
Not a fun pick. And nobody will know what to do with themselves. They're just like, ah, I can't fight this at all. And guess what?
There's only one Mark Wahlberg to figure it out. He's with us. Yes. He's Catholic, so forget it.
All right. He is Catholic. In fact, he won't let anyone forget. Yeah.
I don't know if he knew. But uh, do we have Mark Wahl-Burger? Hold on. What?
What? Mark Wahl-Burger. Sorry? Yeah.
Uh, breaks down his typical daily routine. Uh, 2.30 a.m. Wake up. Pray.
Wake up. Say a little bit about it. Uh, 2. 3.15.
Breakfast. That's amazing. Um, 3.15. Breakfast.
3.40 to 5.15. First workout. 5.30. Post workout meal.
Shower. 7.30. Golf. 8 a.m.
Snack. 9.30. Golfing for a half hour. Uh, yeah, it's a quick, quick round of golf.
Full of golf. Um, it's mini golf. It's, it's different. Uh, do a putt putt.
9.30. Cryo chamber recovery. Freeze my body. 10.30.
Snack. Uh, family time. Nice to work some family time. Yeah, that's a lot in half their meet-all fan.
Cryo chamber. 10.30 is for snack, family time meetings and work calls. That's all under one category. Uh, 1 p.m.
Lunch. 2 p.m. meetings. Work calls.
3 p.m. Pick up kids from school. You can't work out 5 p.m. Shower.
5 p.m. I love second workout. Cause like you got to remind everyone that you did one already in your fake schedule. Yes.
5.30. Dinner and family time. 7.30. Bedtime.
Wow. And even like 7.30 bedtime is such a like the sun is still out. It's meant to, it's meant to impress the stupid reader. Of course.
Be like 7.30. What's he gonna do? Wait, he's already. Wow.
This guy, he's disciplined. He's regimented. He's regimented. Hey buddy.