But just so happy that I punched a kid. Right as my eyes turned red and I went full evil. I'd already become a little evil. I was like, who happens when I do this?
I was like, bam! That's good. Everything good? Everything's great Dan.
Great rock. I'm Brent Smith. Let me wait. I'm Brent Smith.
And I'm Dan Glaser. You're listening to Dan Brentley forever. I feel like we should try that again. I think I'm going to keep whatever.
I want to keep in. I like that. That high frequency, pain in the ass. I'm Brent Smith.
I was interrupting. I'm running out of time. I'm running out of time. I'm going to get hammered so I interrupt you.
Yeah, that was fun. I wanted to kill you. Oh, so welcome back to Dan Brentley forever. I'm Brent Smith.
I'm Dan Glaser. So you probably just got down listening to last week's episode, which was a clusterfuck of a second part. Kind of funny though. Yeah, I got progressively more drunk.
Yeah, I got progressively more angry. Worked out great though. Yeah, I think so. I was entertained.
I don't know if anybody else liked it, but I felt like it was a good time. Switching up to Dan. How was your Christmas? Christmas was pretty low-key.
Turned out loud. Played lots of games. Got real drunk. Went at Craigslist for Christmas time.
Went to Craigslist. How was that? Good. It was pretty good.
I felt like I left early, but I was really, honestly there longer than I was at Thanksgiving. I don't know though. They were having a big old fashioned family Christmas and I just kind of felt awkward when everybody started opening gifts. And you were just saying there.
Just like, hey, all right. What'd you get? Hey, I'm going to stay back in the corner drinks of booze. You going to play with that?
Hey, can I open that? I did see like three switches there. Like Nintendo Switch. Really?
Yeah. Like three individual people? Got a Switch? No, like they brought them over.
What? One was an adult. Oh, there was like, it was his whole family family. It wasn't like, just him and his wife and kids and stuff like that.
No, Dari's mom wasn't there. I guess she had to work or something. But his parents were there. Got me Craig's dad.
No way. Got to say. Legends are true, dude. Yeah.
I wouldn't do, I wouldn't mess with that man. Man of any talents? I don't know if he's a man of any talents, but he is a, he's a mainly man. A school 1950s style wall of a man.
Really? Yeah. Nice dude. Nice thing to have a good sense of humor.
But like, he had to be at least 661, maybe taller. Just flat top. Hornerim style glasses. Nice.
You know. Great here. Kind of stocky build. I'm just like, all right.
I see why there's so many stories about you. Like building things with your bare hands. You know, chopping down trees sideways, knife at a chance. I was a, you know, I was Chris's mom, I got an open stuff, and I'm like, ah shit, Dan, like woke up on Christmas Day alone.
That's got to be a little sad. Not really. No, it was the first time. That sounded even sadder.
The first time you woke up that day and then you went back to bed, then you woke up at noon going, I guess I'll get out of bed. No, Brent, the first Christmas I spent alone. That's what I meant. Is it like every Christmas?
Almost. Yeah. It's probably my fourth one or so. Yeah.
Mostly just because traveling's expensive. I understand that. At least three of those four times I've started a new job. I can't just devout.
Yeah, that's true. You can't be like, hey, listen, I know I just started here. I got a roll for like a week or so. Right.
And I'm pretty sure I was the only one working this week. Oh, I showed up the day after Christmas and it was me, Ron, and Prad for the only one to show up. Really? Yeah.
And then he ended up sitting Ron home because he's like, nowhere's open. Can't get anywhere. The only stuff we have we need like three or four people for. Wow.
Yeah. I think I was supposed to be off the day after Christmas, but it was moved towards Friday. I thought I got screwed over somehow. It's going over the handbook.
It's like, wait a minute. Day after Christmas. I worked that day. But I realized that I didn't work the Friday before.
How about you, man? How's your Christmas? It was great, man. Yeah.
I got a new backpack for hiking. For real. Is that why you're all excited about the fucking cemetery? Oh, I'm so excited, Dan.
We're here going. If you don't go, I will go. No, I'll go. I'm going to try and get a few more people to go with us just because we're going to make this travel ready.
We might get to get some lav mics or something. I think we just pack everything up nice and neat. You think? Yeah.
Put those mics in the bags. We're going to walk around and hold them in our hands. No, we're not going to record while we're hiking. Oh, yeah.
Well, we're sitting there. Yeah. Like at the end of the day when we camp. Are we allowed to have to make a fire?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we can have fire. So these places don't allow it, right?
Yeah, but this is smoking out in the evening fire. So it's like a six mile hike. I'm going to do three weeks. How about four?
I don't know. I have a really sad department date. I just want to do it before you get caught. I was taking early February.
Yeah. Something like that. Okay. I can do that.
Just before you get caught, that way the ticks and bugs and all that don't start up. It's going to be the mountains. It's going to be fucking cold. I can do cold.
Yeah. I can do cold. Lared up. So basically what do you do about the cold and sweating?
It's one of the reasons I didn't like hunting in Indiana because you know obviously you have to get four in the freakin' morning to do anything plus it's you know 20 below before the sun rises. You're dressing layers? But you get that like cold sweat thing going on because I mean you're obviously working to trompe through a freakin' cone field. Dressin' layers and your base layer make sure it's like a quick dry.
Yeah. And that way it disperses that sweat so you don't like get soaked. Yeah you get soaked and you get more cold. That's why you take this way where layers so you can take a couple layers off stuff in your pack and find the right temperature you want to be at.
Hmm. Yeah I'm really not well equipped for that sort of trip. Yeah it's cool. I got a couple extra backpacks and stuff.
I think I think I carry most stuff in my backpack. So if you just carry a small bag with like your sleeping bag and clothes I think everything else can fit in my backpack. How much of camping for you is this stuff? The inventory?
The gadgets and acquiring things? Like this will be cool for doing this. I like to go lightweight so I like to carry as little as I can. See I can see myself getting into like I need this for camping because it's a tent that I can drive a spike into any tree and then instantly it's a tent.
Yeah see I usually sleep in a hammock. That's also brilliant. Because it's super lightweight. Fewer snakes.
Don't have to worry about stuff crawling on ya. As much. As much I mean you still got mosquitoes and stuff that when it's hot out. The only problem with that is it gets really cold on your bottom side because the wind blows you.
But I've straight up just put a tarp at an angle and piled up behind you on a slip on that before. Really? I mean in a sleep mag but considering your fear spiders I cannot believe how much you're cool with that. I totally just block it out.
Nope that's what I have to do. Here's the problem. Do not hike at night because when you're walking and you're shining light you see all these little dots and you're like oh the eyes it's spider eyes. All of them.
They're all spider eyes and they're everywhere. They're fucking everywhere. I've never seen a bunch of spider eyes dude. Oh you're walking like this is do and it's like wait nothing is wet.
That's not do. That's not do. It's all spider eyes. Wow.
They're all going to night. Spider eyes shine at you. Yeah they do. You've never seen that.
No. They're under houses in the woods at night. Yeah they like glint back at you like a greenish. You might have like some kind of special vision.
I got a spider sense but I'm terrified of it. I sense that I hate them. This is the worst. The worst superpower ever.
But so anyways the campsite is like maybe from my truck to the trees in your back away from a graveyard and then there's another one like maybe a cord mile down the plenty room for us to hop off somewhere. Well this is like an 1800s graveyard where all the stones are unreadable. What? Yeah that's what's awesome about it.
And they actually still do this thing called like a thing called decoration day or something when the families of the people who are supposedly doing their own decorate. They're going to do empowers and stuff. Yeah. Ooh.
But that's like later on it's like May. That's too bad. Yeah. Because that'd be kind of awesome to like camp there like the night after that day.
I mean if you're going to stir up some spirits. That'll be win. I would rather it be after celebration day or decoration day whatever you call it. I think it's decoration.
I can't remember. Anyways there's an old legend the Cherokee Indians had the area about spear finger basically this lady with the long bony fingers and she would cut out children's livers and eat em. That's delicacies. Yeah.
Spear finger. That sounds like something else. Anyway this is the last year. This is the last day of last year.
I mean this isn't going to come out. Nope. This is what this. Yeah we're recording this last day of last year.
Yeah. Right. Ready first. And you're listening to this on the second day of next year.
What? It's not that weird. No. We went for that plane.
I was. And so he talked. I don't know why. I don't know why.
I'm not going to take it out anyway. I do. I take out what I can. I do more than you think, Dean.
So we're talking about topics to do for the new year. This episode but the next year. I'm trying to angle the ship in the right direction for 2018. Whatever that means.
Yeah. I don't know either. I'm trying to catch the winds of fortune. Whoa.
Like the winds that knocked over my drink earlier? Yeah. That was a pain in the ass. So before we started recording Dan's entire bourbon and ginger got knocked on the ground.
By the wind. And Dan thinks it was me but it wasn't sort of God is the wind. Yeah. He's like hey the wind knocked over your drink.
I mean anybody feel free to raise your hand if the wind has knocked over your drink. Ever ever. If it was next to a window with a curtain that could easily wrap around said drink and then continue to pull it down. Fair enough.
It still seems a little unlikely. But I know it's a genius. It was. So anyway.
We think. So fucking magic. Yeah. 2018 is going to be a magical year.
So when I celebrate it with magical episodes. What do you mean by that? We're going to cover all things magical in the year 2018. I have a feeling I'm going to get tired of that and want to do a conspiracy at some point but I think overall theme is probably going to be magical of some kind.
What about the conspiracy that magicians are real? Okay. Fair enough. Or the leprechauns are real.
Yeah. I mean skin walkers. Magic covers so much stuff. It really does.
From like Native American like totems and totems. Good story. Yeah. But I know what you mean.
It kind of encompasses witchcraft. Yeah. And that kind of slips into lots of other things. Yeah.
I think if we focus around magic we can easily squeeze out 52 magical episodes. Yeah. Because I mean that kind of slides into mythology. Absolutely.
And you know just straight up story book fairy tale. Yeah. Anything that contains spells, potions, witches, magic. Oh yeah.
That's one I didn't put on the list. Mythical creatures. Magical creatures. Chienes.
I love a gin story. Yeah. See. I can tell you do because you called them gin.
Well it's actually gin. It's actually gin. No, but I love a genie. It used to be my favorite horror.
I dream of a genie. My favorite horror series was Wishmaster. I just branded you. I just branded you.
I went for the obvious one. Yeah. I know. But anyways we figured we started off with everyone's favorite magical creature.
Dragons. Dragons. I am definitely cutting that out. That was always good.
Do you hear that show? What's this show that? What's this show that? What's this show that's missing to?
Where they always say Red Dragons? I don't know. What? There's some talk show guy that his catchphrase is Red Dragons.
I don't know. It doesn't matter. Red Dragons is like a... What?
That's a catchphrase. I don't know what that means. Yeah, how does it catch? He's like, alright, Red Dragons.
Kind of, yeah. Like people will go into the show and be like, Red Dragons. Red Dragons. What's that mean?
I don't know who you're talking about. You don't have to ask my friend what's your last one. Well, when you think of Dragons, I got real quick. I got notes today.
Oh, shit. So we're going to go through a Dragon checklist real quick. Because there's some differences between things that are dragons and things that aren't dragons. Right?
But some people would call them dragons although they are not dragons. That's what I'm saying. First one. How many legs does Dragon have?
Two, four, or zero? Personally, I think four. You think four? Uh-huh.
And something with two legs would be called a Whivron, right? Whivron? Whivron? Whivron?
Whivron? I don't know how you pronounce it. I always thought it was Whivron. Or Worm.
W-U-R-M. Oh, like the...what is it? Welsh? Like the Welsh language or the...
It's either Welsh or Finnish or something where they have the W, but it's not really W. Yeah. But those are usually two legged, right? I think they're supposed to be.
And then you have the no legged dragons. Which are like Chinese dragons snake-like? Yeah. They're not like the dragons, right?
They're not called something different. No, they're dragons. They're dragons. And then you have the dragons with just the two front legs.
See, I'm not familiar with this. That's all like Japanese-Chinese dragons. And it's really weird that dragons...I mean, every culture has... Yeah, some sort of giant lizard.
And is it because they find the bones of dinosaurs and they're like, this must be a dragon? Or the cultures that have been around for thousands of years might have still had a couple of dinosaurs all around? Yeah, some sort of dinosaur. Everybody that I've said that too, you know, has an education.
I think it's insane for saying that. But how...I mean, a lot of stuff happens that we don't know about... We find new shit all the time. We're like, oh, we didn't know they were still alive.
And then all the time once we find one, it's like, oh, we're finding them all the time now. Because we know where to look. For us to be inspired to do a podcast about the unknown post-internet, there has to be a lot of unknown. There's a lot of shit out there.
Yeah. Because I feel like we know everything pretty much all the time. Terry and I were talking about that last night. You know, what the fuck were we doing before?
Smartphones, man. We were just going by the words of our friends who were mostly likely lying to us. Yeah. You remember now when someone would be like, oh, I beat this game and you're like, wow, man, he must be really good.
And then like, there's no way he fucking beat Battletoads. Oh, nobody beat Battletoads, dude. I got pretty fucking close. Did you?
I got past a little jet ski stage or whatever. Nobody gets past a jet ski stage. I fucking passed the jet ski stage. Maybe like for a second.
Oh, I had like one life left. Yeah, you got to see it. And then you're on like this giant spaceship. And then I died.
Yeah. That's cool, man. They mailed me like the certificate up in the mall. Yeah, exactly.
That's kind of bullshit. You would tell your friends and elementary school. They're like, cool. They're fighting over their house and they can't even turn it on.
Well, the funny thing about it is originally that's what this whole whole thing was going on. Kind of, yeah. And now it's like, now we're searching for the truth, man. Not really searching for the truth, but do you think we were just too far removed from that life?
I think so. We couldn't really wrap our heads around going back to it. Yeah, like, I mean, I can look up and tell you if you're lying or not. Like, it's that easy.
Give me three seconds. But anyways, dragons. Right. Scales would bring it back.
Scales? Yes. Scales. Leathery skin.
Leathery skin scales fur feathers. Yeah, I agree. Like, yeah. I don't know how it makes it makes any sense, but leathery scales.
Yeah. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Like a crocodile scales, but it's not really skin. You don't think of it as like overlapping scales. It's like a leathery. Like a warm leather coat.
Yes. Really thick, warm leather coat that can kill you. So Chinese dragons, Japanese dragons, Asian dragons. Let's just say Asian dragons.
Fur, why say Asian dragons? There's Chinese and Japanese dragons. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying the legless dragons usually have fur or feathers.
Yeah, true. And horns. And horns. I didn't really look into it, but did you look into like Quetzalcoatl at all?
Mm-hmm. Wasn't he supposed to be a dragon? What is that? Quetzalcoatl is the Aztec god?
No. Wasn't he like a big feathery dragon? Possibly. I don't know.
Anyway, firstly, I've got no problem with Chinese and Japanese dragons, which by the way, I think Chinese dragons started with four legs. Four small legs. Yeah, and then they like adopted the Japanese dragon. Yeah.
Which is, I think, why some have two legs and some have absolutely no legs. But anyway, I've got no problem with those, but those dragons are bullshit. They fly, but they like swim through the air. Yeah.
Like a sea serpent, but in the sky. Where's their fucking wings, man? I'm gonna tell you right now. They just fly with magic.
I'm gonna tell you right now, there's only a drag that have proof for real. Yeah, proof, huh? Yeah, we're gonna get to that here in just a minute, so just stay on tight. Let's get through this list.
I'm gonna hang on tight. Breathfire? Yes. Out-sit traditionally, yes.
Fire, breath. Yeah. Everything's gonna fire, run! Alright, obviously they can fly.
Now there are another type of wevern or worm or whatever you call it that are flightless dragons, Drake's. That's the word. Oh, is that what a Drake is? That's what a Drake is.
Oh, okay. Now the wings of a dragon. Bat-like? Bat-like.
Yeah. Yeah. Like giant leather sails. So I'm gonna go into real life dragons because they exist.
Oh yeah, I mean, but before I do that, I have this one. My parents sent me to the dragon camp, I want to hear. I have this one note I have written down because while researching dragons, you come across videos and pictures of other mythological and real creatures. And if you could just read that out loud for me.
I appreciate you not talking to me about dragon camp because it was pretty dramatic. Did you really like that? Yeah, I mean they gave us our own eggs and we had to raise them. And these older kids stepped online and I never got to raise mine.
So anyway, what were you talking about? Fucks these spiders. Fucks these spiders, Dan. Do you know what a fucking sea spider is?
Oh crap. No. Free free time, look up fucking sea spiders and then never sleep. That sounds terrifying.
That was a Canadian joke. It was like sometimes I don't know what I'm gonna do up here. So I make notes in my book that just says, uh, crap, it's basically giant spiders. Good luck, buddy.
So real life dragons, man. I don't know what you're talking about. Do you think dragons are real? Or were at some point real?
I want to, but no. No. I mean, there's probably times in my life I did think they were. Okay.
Not anymore. There is a video I have to get you to look at. Okay. Um, I'm gonna, if you've written it down.
Huh? Can you, uh, set up a link or how'd you find it so people can find it themselves? Yeah. This is auditory only.
It's real cool to talk about videos. You just had to watch this video because while looking through videos, I found several ones that was like, all right, we'll pause it and we'll watch this fucking video. Or maybe we should do it live so you can get my reaction. Yeah.
So I'm gonna do it live. I'm gonna hand you my phone. You're gonna hit play. Okay.
And now before you watch this video, I'm gonna let you know this is a real creature that you're seeing. Okay. And I want you to tell me what it is. This is found in the cave in China, by the way.
Cave in China. Hit play. It's 13 seconds long. Be real quick.
That's another fucking dragon, dude. Just wait. It's a long, long white snake like creature with, uh, two little arms. Do you see him pulling himself along the rock?
Yeah. And two little legs. That looks like a baby dragon, dude. Tell me that.
It looks like a baby fucking Chinese dragon. Dude, I can't stop watching it. Yeah. It looks like a baby dragon.
That is the little thing where he moves like and puts his arm up. Yeah. At first I was like, well, it's like CGI. That's not CGI, my friend.
That is a real animal called an olem. Oh, what? O L M O L M. Oh, it's found in Asia.
It's actually an ancient species of blind salamander. Huh. They live up to 100 plus years old. Whoa.
I guess that makes sense. They can live up to 10 years without eating. Yeah, actually. Yeah.
10 years without eating. That's insane. They have absolutely no eyes. Their skin is all white and translucent.
Right. So basically people would find those and think, oh, these are baby water dragons because that's exactly what they fucking look like. Yeah. It's, I can't find a picture or video of a full grown one.
Maybe that is a full grown one. Dude, they live over 100 years old. Wonder where they go. I don't know, man.
It's just if they're blind. They're super like other senses, apparently. Yeah, like fish. Yeah.
I don't think fish are blind, Dan. No, but they sense vibration. They have good vibrations. Anyways, I need a theremin.
That's what I need. Yeah. I've always wanted one, man. Who doesn't?
Anyways, that, to me, that's a real dragon. That's what, I mean, obviously you have other real dragons. Komodo dragons, bearded dragons. Yeah.
Those are just lizards. Sure. Sure. That's as close as anything I've seen to being what anybody would construe as a dragon.
Other than a fucking dinosaur. Now, there is a bird that looks like a dragon as well. This bird's called a night jar. That's weird.
It's found in India. I think there's more tag than that. Actually, maybe one India. Maybe one thing that sounds like.
Night jar. They can open their mouths like almost 180 degrees and their really wide mouth. Their beaks kind of blend in with their feathers. So it looks like just a mouth, not a beak.
That sounds terrifying. Their feathers look like scales. It's crazy looking bird. It looks like a fucking dragon.
And guess what? Their eyes reflect back red. Just for just to add that little chair on top. Weird.
Why is that strange? Why is what strange? They reflect red. No, it's just because dragons and red eyes.
I don't know. I'm sure most predators have yellow or red. It's true. Yeah, red reflects.
It's got your dogs, which are technically predators, right? I really don't know anything of those things. Dogs? My dogs have a greenish reflection.
That's not the scariest thing in the world. You see your cat out the corner of your eye and his eyes are reflecting back at you. Oh shit. You're like a fucking devil cat.
Or just outside? Yeah. Outside with a flashlight? What?
Yeah. And especially if it's almost always a dog. Because dogs are the only thing that's friendly enough. Or a cat maybe.
Or a raccoon maybe if it's in a tree. I mean sometimes a raccoon. Oh man. It's had a dramatic thought.
What did you have a dramatic thought about? I was talking about night animals and I drove past a possum that had clearly just been hit. But not dead. It was terrifying.
I ran over whole family raccoons one time. What? Whole family? Whole family.
What? Tell me a mama. There's a mom and four babies cross the road and I hit mama and one other baby. Holy shit.
Yeah. I cry at night. Did you get out and look? No.
No. I was doing like 60. I always say I was mama scratching our neck upside down on the road. Oh, you caught a piece of it and your brain you can't get rid of a kidney?
No. Yeah, it's dead. The kicking? Yeah.
The poor baby raccoon probably didn't survive. Oh shit. Circle left. Three other babies aren't going to do if they live.
Not cross the road at night. Fuck this. Where do you want to go? Over to McDonald's.
Fuck you, Carl. Carl, you see it's 2 AM right? Hell no. Carl bars just letting out.
I ain't going nowhere. Oh man. So I saw some other obviously fake stuff, like oh look here's a dragon landing on a cell phone tower. And I mean it's just obviously fake.
Yeah, you can't look at anything on there. And then in two surprises you found that. Yeah, but I saw that and I was like that doesn't look like CGI. But there's another video of a guy holding one of those night, night jars.
Night jar. And he's like holding it so he sees its head. So it's like open his mouth and looks like it's screaming. It's all in Mexican candy.
I'm just saying. You have a picture of Haney? Oh, I'm sure you can look up Mexican night jar. It's a joke again.
What's his name? Elmetical. What? He says, and I think he's Mexican American or half.
And he was like, why is it that just that word makes everything sound more terrifying? He's like, yeah, my kids are going to get out of the candy store. The Mexican candy store. Was it the Mexican night jar?
Anyways, night jar. Yeah. Just like it sounds? One word.
Huh. Blue colored night jar. He's kind of adorable. I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah. No. They look adorable when they're not. But look, this is their mouth open.
Yeah, it's not that scary. I know. But see how it's very dragon-like. It's not really.
It looks like a bird. I'm going to call bullshit on this one. Yeah. That one.
That's not a dragon mouth. If it was bigger. Well, I mean they can open their mouth up pretty big. It looks like a conga snake.
Is he going to mean with red eyes and a scale he's looking skin? That's stupid. Yeah, I know. He went too far down the rabbit hole.
I did. Maybe I did, OK? I mean it looks like a fucking tough-tit-mouse. OK, I don't know what that is.