Dripping Menstrual Mucus From Your Back Hole

Episode SummaryMonday’s show kicks off birthday-week narcissism in style, then slides into intersex conspiracy sludge, satellite-tooth sabotage, horny foot-sniff field recordings, and a pair of news stories featuring a murdered influencer and a two-year-old who absolutely should not have been anywhere near cocaine.Birthday Week Tim declares himself untouchable, mead-free, and more impatient than usual, with a special cameo from the Prescription Lady singing him into a fresh year of bad judgment.Ashley Webb, Senate hopeful and self-described intersex enigma, offers a medical-history fever dream involving missing birth records, mystery mucus, and menstrual-cycle claims that somehow get less convincing the longer she talks.Tony Chase returns to explain that his coveted hermaphrodite genetics, extra teeth, and birthing potential are being targeted by the government and weaponized through satellite attacks on his mouth.Miss Princess Ass delivers more undercover foot-fetish gold, including a guy who wants to sniff, lick, fuck, and apparently emotionally invest in just about any foot shoved in his direction.The episode opens with a disgusting little audio bouquet of vaginal secretions, fibroid juice, and squidge on face, just in case anyone accidentally started their Monday with dignity.Nick Fuentes reviews Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey by admitting he liked it while also wishing both the movie and reality itself were whiter, because of course he did.The Prescription Lady takes over birthday duties with a deranged serenade, prescription chanting, and enough boozy affection to make Richard Simmons finally seem normal.Ashley Webb becomes Tim’s newest obsession after an interview where she claims doctors labeled her trans, the intersex community rejected her, and some mysterious lower-body mucus still can’t be explained by anyone involved.Tony Chase, still very much not gay, insists the satellite man is attacking his teeth because the government desperately wants his superior hermaphrodite genetics, complete with penis, vagina, ovaries, uterus, and apparently every other collectible organ.The show doubles down on Ashley’s campaign viability by asking the real question: how exactly do you run for the U.S. Senate while publicly sounding like you’re one cold medicine dose away from talking to wallpaper?An Oklahoma influencer who publicly called her estranged husband a pedophile on TikTok was later killed in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide, giving the whole ugly story the exact kind of true-crime stink Netflix can’t resist.A New Jersey toddler overdosed on cocaine during a Jersey Shore vacation, because one adult in charge allegedly left the rental stocked like a terrible bachelor weekend instead of a place with a two-year-old inside.Tom Holland reportedly became the first celebrity to puke during Hot Ones, proving that even Spider-Man can be taken down by spicy chicken and weak little British innards.Area code 502 offers a birthday gift and gets the full DV P.O. Box treatment, while Tim openly reminds everyone that cash is still the classiest love language.Miss Princess Ass continues her heroic documentation of a foot freak who wants stinky feet, toe-fucking opportunities, ass-sniffing possibilities, and very little dignity from anyone involved.DV's Discord: Check Out The Distorted View Discord!PO BOX:Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236