You start your day, I remember coffee, cigar, all this food, you have diarrhea, now you're done. What's the next thing you indulge in? Comparsed spritz and mushrooms. And then I think we go to lunch and go to Buffalo Wild Wings.
And I'm gonna go to Buffalo Wild Wings. 100%. Two. Happy New Year.
I guess who's got prosthetics at work? You can't tell you, this fucking, you know, every now and then I googled myself. And then I typed in my name and it said, kidney transplant. Like the people fucking believed it.
Fuckin' believed it. Tarantino believed it. He was the other one, guys. Oh yes, I thought it was all over stone.
Oh man. I'm fucking out of it. I am out of it. Cheers.
It's so good to see you. Good to see you, Ben. I'm going through old school, Bert stuff. Yeah.
How old school are we talking? September. Do you remember back in the day when I'd call you? And I just, I wouldn't let you talk.
It's been a fucking, do you realize I used to do that to you when we weren't on air? I just call you and then you'd be like, Hey man, I gotta go. Yeah, I do realize that. I remember one time calling you and you the phone had dropped out and you had lost, I lost your call and I kept talking to you for like 20 minutes and you weren't even on the phone.
That is a story I believe. Yeah, I'm back. I had a run of drinking. I frickin' my special.
I was just like, I'm gonna celebrate and then I did these Rose Slice night and I was fucking wasted. Yeah. Would you drink? I don't know.
No. I actually do not know. I do not know. I know that I was drinking in Mitzvah's old office.
I do fly out tonight or tomorrow? I fly out. Dude, I fly every day. Yeah.
And I am working from, I work from fucking six a.m. It's till the end of the day. Did podcast yesterday, did the Rose with Whitney, smoked a joint and I got way too high. Do you find that marijuana immediately gets you to like, Hey man, we're not functioning anymore like a regular human being.
I mean, I'm more of an edibles guy. I took a couple the other night and I just felt like my face was melting and I loved it. I loved it because I got in bed and I was like, and I knew I wasn't gonna have to wake up early the next day. So yeah, I felt like I was in a coma.
And that's kind of what I wanna feel like every night. Really? Yeah. Do you dream when you're on edibles?
Less, yeah. Less. I really wanna get to that Michael Jackson level though where I have a doctor giving me anesthesia. It's amazing how many people to remember the first time I went in for surgery and you're like, I'm gonna love it.
Oh, it's a fucking bad. Everyone loves it. Everyone loves it. I want surgery.
I want surgery. I wanna be put under it. I gotta get a colonoscopy. Oh, they put you under for that.
It's fantastic. And you can get one last ask fucking joke out and then right as they do it, be like, hey, both of you guys don't go in at the same time. Oh, wait, all I wanna do is prison jokes. Yeah.
Hey man, come on guys. I'll suck your whole whole whole whole whole whole whole whole. Can you imagine getting double penetrated in your ass? Oh, I was thinking in my mouth it has.
Well, yeah, but what if they were both in your ass? I think if I went to prison, I'd go full blown. Double anal? I'd be like, I'd just be welcome it.
I think it's like taking a charge. It's like once you realize, yeah, and just figure out a way to like it. I'm actually starting to think, like could you transition? Like I know that it's, I know that it's really complicated.
You know, you can't say that homosexuality is a choice or that you're born like that because they're both sides of the gay camps are upset with either side. Wait, you can't? You can't say, so by the way, these are based off of one conversation I have with one drunk gay dude on a plane. Source, okay.
So I said, I say you're born gay to the guy and he goes, no. And I said what? And he goes and he was like, no. And he said, this is why you can't say that because if they, if you could find a genetic code to finding out people are gay, then you could get rid of gay people altogether.
That's what he was saying to me. I don't know, I'm pretty fucking hammered. And I said, well, you're saying it's a choice. And he goes, well, I think some people are born gay, obviously.
And then some people, it's, what does it call it? Society versus nature versus nurture. And I was like, oh. This is an insane argument from this guy though.
But it was an insane conversation about fucking plane. Yeah. And I was like, and by the way, I was loving it. I fucking, I love people who like to take chances in a conversation.
Just not know me at all. And of course I'm like, but yeah, so that was the conversation we had about, could you, would they get rid of the gene? Like, if like genetic cleansing is happening in Sweden, I think. I'm in Sweden right now, I think.
If you're listening to this, I'm in Oslo. And you think they're doing genetic cleansing there? No, yeah, yeah, they're getting rid of like, people can go in. Okay, hold on, let me start all over.
Let me start all over. Don't start going like shit, nadaw. So with it, you get pregnant in Sweden. Yeah.
I'm just gonna kill my Swedish tiktasils. You get Sweden, by the way, I cannot fucking promote Berlin. I mean, Berlin, like there's no fucking way I can be like, hey guys, I'm coming to Berlin. Why?
Come on. What? You can't promote Berlin. You got pregnant, you go into the doctor in Sweden.
I'm almost 100% certain this is how they works. Okay. The doctor goes, okay, let's take a look at the baby. And he takes blood from the thing.
You remember how you do like the Down syndrome thing? Yeah. And people will board Down syndrome kids. Yeah.
They do that, right? But they don't, or they do especially in like Iceland and like the Netherlands. Zero. Zero.
Like what? You know what I'm talking about. No, you know what I'm talking about. I didn't know what I'm talking about.
They have zero Down syndrome kids. Zero. Zero. It's because they go in, they go, okay, it doesn't look like this guy's gonna be a big scientist.
So we can't read it anymore. And you're saying that if they're able to like figure out the gay gene with you, I feel smart as well. That's what we're a great team, man. You realize I was a lunatic.
You know how many people in that room thought I was a fucking lunatic? I was talking to you. No, we thought you were on it the whole time. We know how many times I've been in conversations with you and other people and you've said something and I see them go like that and I go, I go, he's saying and then they're like, oh, okay.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking about you. I'm talking about you.
I'm talking about you. I'm talking about you. And I say, oh, okay. It's like I'm your translator.
So they get to be back to gay kids. If they find a gene, they could then they start, you don't have to gay so she can cool now. That's the whole point. You know, as if you go or born gay all of a sudden, sweetest doctors.
Like it was 1981. They would be gone. Like, if that's it. I mean, I remember there was a time, I'm very open to, uh, I think I probably, I never lived in a world where you could just be a little guy, right?
Like, when we were kids you couldn't be on the spectrum of sexuality. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like, oh, sexuality is fluid.
Like, you know, yeah. You would wear women's clothes? Yeah, like am I started right now? You could start now.
You're famous, you're successful, you can wear whatever you want, and you're a comedian, you don't have to be like tied to any type of wardrobe. I mean, you don't even wear a shirt. Then you get queer baiting. Oh yeah.
It's like, it's super complicated. Oh, that's what they labeled hairstyles as. Very styles. Queer baiting.
Do you find him attractive? No. I don't either. I don't really get it.
And I wonder if that means that I'm old. It's part of it. It's part of aging. I think it's because I like fucking Jason Sudeikas.
Oh, really? You're attracted to him? No. I mean, he's a comic.
He's a talented guy too. I never met him. This guy, I think part of aging is when you hear music and you're like, huh? Whoa, is that Jason Sudeikas?
He's an interesting dude. He's from Missouri or something, right? I don't know. He's a funny guy, but he's also a man.
You feel like he would throw a punch. Is that the girl? No, that's Olivia Wilde. That's the extra him.
Here's the thing, I don't want a girl that doesn't make up naked in front of a mirror. What do you want to wear? She looks like, I never, I never had a problem. This is going to be a long time.
I have a problem with women who wear too much makeup. Right. I don't find it attractive either. I will tell you, I'm going to come off aggressive.
I like that push where I had lipstick. I like that with push. Yeah. I don't like that with everyone.
Yeah. I mean, like, I'm with you. I don't like heavy makeup though. I don't think it's a, I mean, unless it's a whore, then I like it a lot.
Then I think it looks good. You got a whore's lipstick all over you. Yeah. Like a real whore though.
Like a, like a real tier one, you know. I made out with a whore in college. You see, I had fucking tons of lipstick and it was all over me and it turned me on. Yeah.
Like I was fucking in the mud. Sure. But actually, what I find most attractive is minimal. Just like a little, little blush, little pink, you know, lipstick or whatever.
Do you ever see the stuff where they do the makeup transformations and then their mathematics? Yeah. Like they take out their teeth and you're like, all right. The porn ones?
Yeah. That's bad. Yeah. Yeah.
I remember when I, so when I first moved to LA, the first place I had by myself was on Highland going towards the 101. Yeah. Where? So if you're, if you're taking Highland North, you, you, you pass Hollywood.
Yeah. So you're literally about to enter the freeway. And on the right, there is an apartment complex. I know that.
I lived in that apartment complex. Do you realize, do you realize I lived across the street? I lived there. So I could walk to the bowl.
Yeah. I could walk to the bowl. I lived at night, 1991, 1990 Glenko way. It was considered a right place.
It was considered a vine street address, even though vine was actually tucked further back. That area is called, it's called, um, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yes. It's called an area.
Man, I lived away. It really hides. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Really. That the convenience store. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on. You screwed me up. Okay.
Now zoom in, put your cursor there, like in that area. Um, okay. Hold on. North go up a little bit.
That's the street. Oh, North Las Palmas. That was my address. Yeah.
So it was an escrow. Now go back down and hit that building on the right. Go to the right. Yeah.
Like, sorry, further right. Yeah. Zoom in. That side of the street.
That's how much about that villa apartment. Is that what you lived? I lived in that building. Oh, that's great.
So it's 2039 North Las Palmas. I could do an entire episode. It's senseless. Three doors down from me lived Taylor Rain.
I don't know that is. She was a porn star. Oh, I do know that is. For real?
Well, what was interesting is that at the time, I mean, I'm 23 years old. It's her. Yep. That's exactly how I remember her.
Oh, my God. Her fist and her ass. She's a lot. I have a hard time wiping my ass.
She can put her whole fist and her ass. She was nice, but man, it was the first time I was exposed to the fact that there was an image of somebody like this, and then you ride the elevator with them in like t-shirt and jeans and you're like, oh, and seeing like the dramatic difference. It was very dramatic. The that area.
So little sidebar. This isn't this is just interesting. That area that with the heights area is where Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love bought their first house and the house is I know if I know if I knew to buy houses, the way Leanda goes, the house is a group of houses we have to take an elevator to get to the houses, but above the Hollywood Bowl and it's so like one point two can you type in curtain? I'm obsessed with this area because I remember a parasilt living in.
I think there's a little lived in the house actually typing Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's house Hollywood Hollywood. Yeah. It's it's you got to take an elevator to get up there. It's a really great little fucking area.
I lived all my houses. I lived over there back when I first moved to LA and I just was paying rent. Okay. One time a boat just sold in the home of two.
I don't know. The home of the two story. Two thousand four hundred fifty eight square foot house built in 1920. Yeah, everything there's like built in the 20s.
I got high tower elevator association. It's part of the high tower elevator association. Okay. So all these houses you have to take an elevator to get up there.
Yeah, it's really fucking cool. Okay. You park on a cul-de-sac. You would have bought something.
And then what you're saying? Like I don't want I don't want anything. I actually had a conversation with somebody about this the other day. I don't want anything.
What do you mean? I don't want anything. Stuff. You mean?
Like stuff. I don't want I think I got to watch I like. I got to watch it. I got to watch it.
I got to watch it. I got to watch it. I got to watch it. I got to tell that story.
You really should. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not sure I have.
I just read two's one couple. Don't worry. You got to hear the story. I would be into I like buying that house would be an investment become such a nostalgia fan.
Like I get into that. You be into that house for because go back in there. Yeah, because go back in there. And I think he was just the part of like about Kurt Cobain is if you just watch documentary on again.
He was like a regular dude. Well, it's also it's you realize that the older you get the older you get you realize you're not going to have that many times where you will see or hear or experience something where you go like, Oh, this is kind of a setting the bar like life change like changing culture. And most people if you are old enough can remember hearing Nirvana being like, what the fuck is this? Like you felt the shift happen and then you actually watched the thing that you heard.
You were like, wow, this is amazing. You watched it take on the whole the whole world basically, you know, and and and also that we, you know, we also remember like hearing that he died and how it happened and how like traumatizing that whole thing was when we were in Rome, you know, me and the girls went to Italy this summer last summer, whatever. We were staying across the street from the hotel. He overdosed that and I was obsessed with it.
I was obsessed with it. Like, uh, I kept saying like that. It's right there. Like that's that's when I went over there.
I went over there and Rome and Rome. Yeah. He already even wrote me took a I think it took I think it took actually cotton. It's so good.
It really is. It's fucking amazing. But I really like to have bought that house. I would have liked to have bought that house to go there.
I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I mean, it's a lot bigger than I thought it was. I thought for some reason I thought it was like 12 hundred square feet. I'd set up an office there and going right and just like, like fucking disappear, like go there, set up a gym there, go to that house and just fucking I keep saying I want to move to fucking Malibu. That's the shit.
I'm really gonna retire. Well, there's only so many places left now. God for a second city that are decent to live in now. Unlike this fucking landscape.
Well, that places a shithole now. Well, we got a new mayor, Caroline Bass or something. I don't even know any vote. You think I vote?
Do you want me to vote? Nah. Nobody does. I played at Trump National.
I spent like $1,000 on merch. I was like, like, that's even rebellion. What'd you get like a bunch of just Trump here? Oh, you're fucking a dad.
My dad is so anti-Trump and I was like, it's a golf shirt. He's like, I go look here to sleep. He goes, what? I'm gonna pass out.
So I like your shirt too. Thank you. Thank you. So, um, so I gotta tell the story.
I'm gonna tell you as accurate as possible because I know they're listening. So obviously everyone knows Tom got me my birthday present, which was Hitler's teacup. I gotta be honest with you. I was like, there's, you know, my brain.
I definitely got nervous. I was like, I don't remember at all receiving it. I don't remember anything. I just remember laughing as hard as I've ever laughed because I thought it was gonna be Winston Churchill's teacup.
And all the only words I heard was there's 98% chance the fuhrer drank. This is dope. So, so, uh, so you get, obviously, you know, Hollywood is very different than what we do. Yeah.
And so like Hollywood people get nervous for you and you're like, and you're like, Pete, Pete, my assistant, Pete. Yeah. Uh, as everyone got nervous, Pete was like, it's the funniest fucking thing. He goes, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
And he was like, wait, hold on. I don't care what I'm saying. I just watched it. I was in the lobby.
I watched it. It's fucking hilarious. And he's like, funny is funny. Yeah.
And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's where my brain is. But you're also thinking like by Los Angeles. So, yeah, cool time.
Like, uh, I'm going to be in Berlin. Like this game. So, so, uh, so you can take it down. So I'm driving my little sister, Cottie wants a skateboard for her son, Teddy.
So I have extra skateboards. So I throw it on my electric bike and I start to ride it over. My electric bike isn't fully charged and it dies by my house in front of a synagogue. So I turn around and as I'm driving back, I'm pedaling this electric bike and I was going to slow it because it's electric bike and it's maybe going like four miles, two miles an hour.
And I'm like, oh, I'm going to be a Jewish family or a Jewish family walking towards me. And I'm like, hey, uh, or I didn't say anything. I was just like, I'm like, oh, they're in the bike lane. And then he kind of steps out of the bike lane.
I go, hey, thank you so much. And he's like, yeah, of course. He's like, hey, man, I love you, man. And I was like, oh, thanks.
He's like a guy in like traditional, the curls in the hat, like everything. And the whole family there. And he's like, I love you, man. I was like, oh, thanks.
He goes, no man, I love what you do. Keep doing what you do. And now I'm kind of passing him. And I go, thanks.
And he goes, fucking Hitler's teacup was the funniest fucking thing in the world. And I'm like, oh my God. I was like, I, by the way, I didn't even put the two and two together. So I'm like, holy shit.
So I go, I text you immediately. I text you. I get my bike back to my house. I still take the skateboard back.
So I get in my car. I get in the ass car. I put the skateboard in the back. I start driving in the same route.
Same route. I get my sister's house. I'm in front of the same synagogue. Everyone's going to temple.
And another Orthodox Jewish family is crossing the street, but I'm at the light. It's kind of blinking. They're looking to see if they should cross. The guy looks at me and I see him look at me and I like kind of nod and he does the, I like, I love you like the, like to me.
And I went, oh, I gave him a thumbs up, right? I legit went, okay, because I'm everything I feel like a dork. And then he looks at me and he goes and walks across the street. I was even crazier is I hung out with my neighbor.
My neighbor is from Israel. And he was, I was with my dad. I think I told you this too, right? Yeah.
I was with my dad. My dad will not find Hitler's teacup funny. He definitely will not find the nuance in that. But he, what the fucking fuck?
My father cleared out God damn it. He spawned the beaches. I'm not like this. So he goes, my neighbor, Mike, shout out to Mike, the coolest fucking neighbor you can ever have, right?
Yeah. He has parties. He throws parties like like 40 fucking deep. Everyone whole family.
So if I ever hear a party, I go over and have a drink. So I go over and have a drink. And he's like, I'm going to do a bad impression of Mike. If you're Mike, listen to this, I'm sorry.
He's like, bro, bro, you're blowing up in the synagogue. I'm like, what? He's like, you're going viral. But I, I, now Mike's my age, but he's not an internet guy.
So I don't make him knows what that I know. I think I'm assuming the terminology is just to tab it off. And he's like, this is the night before all this happened. He goes, no, bro.
And then his son comes in. I got son of terminology. He's like, dude, two bears, one cave. I'm like, okay, all right.
All right. All right. All right. All right.
Rev it up. And my dad goes, oh, yeah, the cool aid thing. And he goes, and Mike's like, no. I'm like, everybody out of here.
Everybody out of here. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Before sitting in. And luckily my dad thought he was having a heart attack and we had to take home. But yeah, sorry. He got the 157 and he almost passed out.
I was like, Mike, we're not drinking tequila. He's like kind of back to what Peter said that just they're like, it's just funny. It's a funny beat. It's a fun moment.
I'm not asking for anything to go viral. I'm just saying. Yeah. I think probably you're at synagogue and there is a lot of shit going anti-semitic shit going around.
That's got to be the top of the conversation. And I think probably the clip came up and like, have you seen this? I think very earnestly and I'm almost certain that any dude despite the religion that is like us, our age with kids and likes to hang out with the family and have a good time party, I think they fucking laughed at it. And I think they were just like, it's fucking funny.
I bet there's probably some kind of like shady person going, have you seen this? And then I would have loved it. At that moment, we're like a bunch of orthodox Jewish men were like, wait, what is this? Oh shit.
He got him his fucking ego. Like, that was my takeaway. But it was, I'm done with it. Like I don't like the second I got those two guys to say that.
And the whole thing was like, my, our, one of our best friends, we have a group of friends called the campers. I called him when he got it. And the best part of that whole thing was he laughed and then he goes, I really wish that wasn't my reaction. That's the beauty of comedy.
Yeah. It's the Georgia part. You know, I said this one. I took Georgia on fully loaded.
She did not want to laugh is shingulous. Shingulous is such a fucking. He's one of a, he's like, meaning, he's like me and you growing up like an athlete, a ball buster, a fucking bro loves to fucking drink beers. And Georgia, that energy is not Georgia's energy.
She did not want to like shingulous at all. At all. And the first night she saw him, he's doing his, you know, whatever, I don't want to whittle it down and say Trump stuff, but he's talking about Trump and Georgia loved him. And by the end of the week, he had a report with Georgia where like, where he could go up, he went up to her and Daisy and was like, uh, you guys sneak beers?
They're like, no, he goes, you don't tell me. I'm not gonna talk about that. And they're like, no, he's like, oh, yes, smoke weed, smoke weed, smoke weed, sneak beers. Like, and you can wrap your head around that shingulous saying that to Georgia with his hands up like this.
You can tell me, you can tell me. And Georgia leans over to you and he's like, you can be here. And he goes, sit down next to me and he goes, Georgia drink beers. Oh my God.
Dude. Well, yeah, you doing all right? It'll be a rough second. Yeah.
I, uh, I got him. I got him. It's the anxiety. The part is the part I don't like about it.
I'm glad you have what? When I drink. Man, this is what you said. Way back when when we had a month off of drinking, you said I have zero anxiety.
I have so much anxiety. You think you kind of miss the anxiety when it's going because it's what's normal to you? I tell you what I miss. I miss the deflating anxiety when you have a drink and the anxiety goes away.
You're like, oh, we're back. It's an interesting thing. When you have no anxiety, you just don't notice it's around. Yeah.
But when you I remember doing this going to this guy's place in New York and he was a big, big pot dude, right? He had like a, I don't know, some type of apparatus where it was like, I don't know, some like glass thing and he was like, press this and then it heats it and then, you know, so it's not burning the weed. And then it's a cleaner burn and it was like, it's something elaborate thing and he had all like high end, like high grade weed, right? And so he pulled out one of them.
He was like, oh, this one's amazing. And I did a pool of it and I got so high, but I was paranoid, anxious. And I hated it because I got, it was too, like too full of anxiety. So I went and, you know, the next day he was like, oh, do you want to take a pull off of this again?
And I was like, no dude, no. I would go, that was horrible. I got way too high and I was paranoid and I was like full of anxiety. And I hate that.
I go, so you don't experience that? And he was like, oh, no, I do. And he goes, I kind of like it. I like working myself.
I like feeling that anxious and I, when I'm not feeling it, I get like fired up to feel it again. And I was like, hold, that's where we're different. Because to me, I was like, I never want to feel like that. And he was like, I really?
Yeah, he loves it. He loves the anxiety. He loves the panic. The panic makes him fucking.
He likes it. I think the panic's the worst part. Yeah. He likes it.
I mean, look, I'm putting words in Joe in the largest media platforms right now. I don't mean to, but like I'm saying as a friend, he's always talked about eating too much out of holes and getting in the deprivation and feeling a little panic. I think it makes him. His brain likes the fight or flight because he decides to fight.
Right. And I don't, I don't fight. I fight. I flight so fucking hard.
Panic is just a life ruiner. Oh, it sucks. And for me, like, so I'll tell you, I woke up this morning thinking I actually said this. I was like, I was so high on drug last night.
Yeah. Fuck me. And it's adorable. What happened?
I should actually tuck you there. I should actually picture. Sure. This is why I love my wife.
Look, everyone knows I should have my wife nonstop. But you don't show your wife and you don't fucking love your wife. I'm so tired of like, I'm not going to recomend, but I know that I've heard like people say like, I don't, I don't recomend. I do not recomend.
I do. I read other people's comments. I did today. But, but, but, but I remember people, someone said something about like, Hey, man, you talk a lot about porn, sort of cheating on your wife.
I have a hard time to leave your faithful or something. And I was like, Oh, you're not married. You don't know what it's like to be married and to be like, I'm committed to this person for the rest of my life. So I'm going to, I'm going to send you a picture of how, how the address last night.
Oh, so I'm going to scream. You find my Instagram stories. You want to make my Instagram stories and stuff? And so hang on.
The whole thing, Tom was like, show up is white trash. Yeah. And so everyone dressed as like sexy white trash people. And this is how Lee Andreste and this made me love her so much.
Look at her ready. This is me. I just wore a denim tuxedo. Okay.
No shirt. Yeah. She wore that. She was so self conscious.
Like she, everyone dresses rednecks, but like kind of cool sexy rednecks, right? Yeah. And then Lee Andreste in a house dress with curlers in her hair. And she dressed like a, like, like someone in her family, like legit.
She dressed like a granny. I'm not even fucking around. Yeah. Because they and grew up in a trailer.
Right. Georgia. Yeah. But, and that is why I love her is because of that.
Is this pre or post drinking and just looking pre? But you look rough. Yeah. You look really good.
You look absolutely fucking hamlet. I held together for my special and then I let it go. I, I, I'm telling you, she, that person who dresses up, who really takes the assignment. Literal.
That's what I love about her. And I couldn't explain it to her. I didn't know how to sort of fucked up. I couldn't explain to her.
Like, I didn't want you dressing up as a hot redneck. Like you are a redneck. You are a hot redneck. Like I need you to dress.
She dress like that. She came up. She goes, how do I look? And I went horrible, which is what's fucking hilarious.
Like you don't give a fuck. Right. I was talking about Medusa fucking her while she slept because you can fuck your, fuck those little hair curlers and put your dick in them. And she thought that was funny.
Which crazy. She took her hair. She took the curlers out. Yeah.
You love it. Oh my God. She had fucking like curls. Oh God.
I don't, that's, that's the, God she put on so much makeup for this too. She got so excited. And then when everyone dresses hot rednecks, she was so self-conscious. She was like, I don't look stupid.
And I was like, no, this is why I love you. And he says like, you can't explain to someone the thing I love about you is your vulnerability. You know, like it's so hard to explain. I don't want you to be the fucking coolest person in the bar.
And marry that fucking person. I don't want to fucking do that. He checks with it. Would look up and you should when they talk to you.
Yeah. And just be like, what's the good with that human? Yeah. Well, it reminds me of you.
No, I've never looked over your fucking shoulder ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Even when John Appetow was over at your shoulder. And I remember that time. And it was hard to look you in the eyes.
He was walking to you to talk to you. And I was like, John Appetow is like, I'm not a big fan. I'm definitely not canceling. Not the way you fucking did.
I was very dirty. Well, it's kind of I'll go. I'll go. I'll go.
I'll go ride or die. I'll fucking bear. You just said I might not be there. I'll be there.
I'll be there. Unless a more important thing comes up. And if it does, we'll figure it out. Okay.
So I go to Bali. I brought up a thing as cigars and I got to my back and I go, I'm just having a plastic bag. They were my backpack. And I was like, Oh, I wonder what's going on.
I'm flipping through and I go, Oh, I have a few joints in here. And I said, Leanne, I brought a joint. I'm just what I'll be doing out here. She goes her eyes light up like there's someone behind me.
She goes, it is the most illegal thing to do is bring drugs in here. And I'm like, yeah, you're an Indonesia. I'm an Indonesia. And I brought marijuana into Bali oblivious oblivious.
And then I was like, Oh, fuck, man, I've had panic about that so much that I almost buy new backpacks when I go abroad to go. I just I know there's nothing in there. Yeah. Yeah.
It's the dumbest one of the dumbest things I've done when I was in college and I was in Spain. You brought drugs? No, no, I bought weed all the time in Madrid. That was no big deal.
That was that was all the time. Yeah. I bought weed in Lima. The craziest thing I did that was so stupid was when I was in Tunisia, I decided that I wanted some weed.
So I'm in a Muslim country and I'm just like, yeah, I'm like, Hey, I want weed. And I fucking got a hold of something that didn't really smoke like weed. But I later was like, that was fucking it's just so like high risk, you know, that I could be buying it from the wrong person. So that's the thing is that like I want to like, because there is a period when you're young where the risk doesn't seem that bad.
You don't you're not calculating it. Of course you're not calculating it. And I'm like, you know, I think I give the person like $40 and they give me like a goddamn ounce of something. I'm like, what is this?
A guy gave us a Frisbee full of marijuana. Like he just put marijuana in a Frisbee and gave us the Frisbee. And we were like, well, no bag. And he was like, and we're like, OK, you think about that.