Duke Nukem Lore

You owe us the game. You owe the 69th president in it. What? Hello and welcome to Lore Boys.

It's time to do lore and chew ass. We're all out of ass. My name is James Miller and I'm joined with... My name's Ethan Palmer.

Bad news, Chief. We're also out of lore. What do we do now? I don't know.

Wait up for an hour? My name's Peter O'Donoghue. So we're out of lore and ass? What about the gum situation?

Oh yeah, I guess we could do gum or whatever you say. Yeah. If you guys couldn't guess already, by the title, the art, and that silly little introduction, we are doing Duke Nukem today. To be fair, we could also have been doing They Live, the movie that that line is actually from.

Yes, you're right. That's one of the references. Okay, yeah. Later on, we're going to talk about some of the quotes from Duke Nukem 3D versus Duke Nukem Forever.

Duke Nukem. Yeah, sorry. This is great. We're a minute in and I'm already stumbling over my words.

So do you guys know who created Duke Nukem way back when? Like a person or a company? Because I'm fairly confident on a company. That's 3D Realms, right?

It is now 3D Realms, but it used to be called Apogee. Oh, okay. Okay, I didn't know that. You would know that because they made Prey as well, right?

Oh, yeah. They made the old Prey, I think. The new Prey was Arcane. Okay, yeah.

Me, thanks. I didn't look into it. I just saw Prey as one of their games. I was like, people know this one for sure.

As far as I know, a lot of those old shooters are all very much like, because a lot of shooters are from the 80s and 90s, none of these people have died. So they just leave studios and bounce around and just all make games together, right? Exactly. Prey 2006 was made by Human Head Studios, 3D Realms, Venom Games, and Aspyr.

Nice. Like 3D Realms is in there. Cool. Yeah, all these companies are kind of tied into id, like back then, like Doom and Quake and Duke Nukem, and all these boomers shooters are kind of related in one way or another.

Yeah. Doom Nuke Quakem. I think if we did Quake, we'd pretty much have covered all of the major boomers shooters. We even did Heretic and Hexin.

Yeah, well, no. We have to do Wolfenstein. That's the OG boomers shooter. Right.

Duke Nukem and Wolfenstein are related, although I don't really touch on Wolfenstein much in this episode. Oh, yeah. Have we done a Wolfenstein episode? See, I can't remember that we did, I was just in the Discord today, I can't remember that we did do a Godzilla episode.

Somebody said that. I was like, what are you talking about? We did do Godzilla. I had to do it myself.

But I somehow have a memory of Wolfenstein. Maybe it was in Doom we talked about Wolfenstein a bit, about how the guy's probably the descendant of, was it not Chip's Challenge, whatever the original? Commander Keene. Commander Keene, or how they're all tied in kind of canonically.

Maybe that's one thing I'm thinking of with Wolfenstein. Yeah, BJ Blasquez is a direct descendant. He's the great-great-grandson of Cool Spot, the 7-Up Spot from Cool Spot. From the 7-Up video game, Cool Spot.

Yeah, so in this world, if you haven't ever met Duke Nukem, he's a cultural icon. He's meant to be the American hero. He's saved the world multiple times from pig cops, evil robots, and even ancient aliens. Wow, okay.

And so, sorry, this is at the start of the game? He's already done all these things? No, this is like, we'll get to him doing it, but he definitely will do all these things. We don't know much about him before the start of the games.

I thought you were saying he was at the start of the game, you're playing well-established, world-saving hero, Duke Nukem. If you started Duke Nukem forever, yes, but before Duke Nukem 1, no. I mean, forever is forever, so it's at every point in the timeline. Right.

Not where you started, it's forever. It's like their development cycle, it was at every point in the timeline. You've got to close the loop, Duke, and it shoots itself in the back of the head and the game just restarts. So the people who made Duke Nukem base him off every cheesy action star that they could think of.

I think the first game was 91, so all these 80 stars, like Schwarzenegger, Salon, John Claude Bondame, I think would even be in there. Maybe even certain spell. He looks like Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren, you know?

Yeah. So we're supposed to be in on the joke that he's over the top. He's tongue-in-cheek being all these things. They kind of lose the thread by the time they get to Duke Nukem forever, and he just is an over-the-top asshole, but up until this point, he's kind of making fun of American culture.

Saccharizing, if you want. Duke Nukem has only ever been seen in top physical condition. There's no picture of the one of Vin Diesel on his balcony smoking a cigarette where he's just completely let himself go between fast movies? Why does he even need to be in top physical condition to drive a car anyways?

Yeah. I mean, that's a good question. I think he's got his shipping arm. They're muscle cars.

Oh, that's how he stays in shape. You've got steering wheel cars that are operated by steering wheels. You've got muscle cars. Operated by muscles, yeah.

You have feet cars, also known as Flintstones, which are operated by feet, of course. That's for the Cardi bros, though. That's not for the juice hands. No, no, no.

Exactly. The feet cars are very popular online. Sign up to our Patreon. Yeah, this podcast is powered by feet.

Well, that's great, because my next sentence is his height is six feet and four inches. Very good. They're not too tall. That's the perfect height.

If you guys were wondering about the conversion, it's .0213 American football field. Thank you. Or 190-ish centimeters, I guess. I don't know if that was that.

I want to keep your commie metric system out of here. Sorry, guys. Oh, yeah, we're talking Duke Nukem. There's no commie centimeters out of here.

He can bench 600 pounds. Damn, dude. Which is really good. In football fields, I looked at the price.

In football fields, they did the math on Reddit, and with all the soil, the grass, the posts and everything, it weighs about 2,091,000 pounds. Okay. So he can bench .00028682909 football fields. Not a lot in football field world, but he's strong enough to kick some ass in the games.

He can bench more than I can at time of recording. If anyone can bench over 600 pounds who's listening to this, please let us know, because I would love to have just one of us that are that crazy. Oh, dude, so we can bench all three of us. It's true.

You can bench all three of us. Yeah. You'd have to tie us together, or maybe put us all in one big sleeping bag, and then we'd have to be perfectly rigid, and then we could just look. One clean and press of all three lore boys.

We'd have to get a really tight hammock that we'd all squeeze in, and we'd just reside between his face and the bar. Oh, if our heads were poking out and we wouldn't suffocate, one of those airtight, vacuum-sealed linen bags. Right. Okay.

Right? Yep. I mean, the operative word being if we wouldn't suffocate, but vacuum-sealed does kind of imply. I mean, if you have a good seal around the neck, and then just vacuumed out all the air, you could get us in there like some decent jerky.

I'm sure this is somebody's fetish. This has got to be, right? Like, vacuum-sealed corpses. If you're about to be vacuum-sealed, you probably want to take a big breath and hold it until the mechanism's over, so you still have room to move your chest when it's all done, because if you breathe out while you're being vacuum-sealed, you won't be able to bring it back in, you know?

This is the same defense against an anaconda, Jamie. I worked at a warehouse once where they had those big machines that wrap in circles all the cellophane around the boxes and stuff, and I, one day on my break, was just watching it, wondering if I was in there, what would be the best chance to survive, but I probably wouldn't. I'd probably just die. Yeah, I'd fuck around with them.

I used to call it a mummy machine. I'd be fucking around with them a lot, yeah. Usually fights against heavy machinery don't go the way of the squishy human. Right.

I remember when we used to work in the forest, I think you or your brother was in the bobcat pretending to fight Andrew, and Andrew's trying to punch away a machine that works with hydraulics. And I did knock him on his ass with that bobcat. Jesus Christ. None of us have ended up on Lively, and I don't know how.

So even though he can only bench .0002 of a football field, it's still 600 pounds, so he can kick some serious ass in the games. And where his strength may fail, he always has markmanship and demolition abilities. Thankfully, he always has a gun. No, he's American.

Always chromed up. He has an unmatched proficiency with firearms, explosives, anything from pistols, rocket launchers, shrink rays, alien technology. Shrink rays. Yep.

Because there's massive hogs, sometimes you've got to shrink it down, right? So he's pretty good at using it. The man's so alpha, but he's the opposite of a penis pump boy. Wait, I have a quote.

You have like a silencer on the end of it. I have a way up with all of the quotes that he said in game, and I remembered one based on what you just said. He says, size only matters when you're full grown, baby. Whatever that is.

Okay. That is a good shrink ray comeback. I know. It's George Casanza when he's screaming, I was in the pool.

But it's, I got a shrink ray! I got a shrink ray! It's George Casanza with the Duke Nukem hair. Very good image.

With his shirt off, just standing in a room, kind of shaking his hands at his side. In terms of personality, Duke Nukem's confidence is his probably strongest trait. Yeah. He loves to crack jokes.

There's a lot of jokes, especially in Duke Nukem 3D. This is like in the era of Doom and Quake and things like that, where we have silent protagonists. Duke Nukem is very much linked into not being silent, and it actually adds to the game rather than taking away from it. In that era, I'd say not so much in forever.

Yeah, he's nasty. Yeah. He loves to crack jokes and speak out when something comes to mind. Honestly, if you go back and play these games now, they're probably a little problematic, especially forever.

In 2011 when it came out, it just missed the mark so much. But even in the 1997 version, you probably wouldn't write things the way you did. This is like a lot of the way he speaks to women and sex workers and stuff like that. Yeah, he is a notorious fan of strippers in that pixel art.

Yeah. I think in 3D, you can actually give money to the dancers and they'll flash you pixelated boobs. Yeah, they have little tassels on them. Yeah.

I don't remember. Liking strippers is canceled now? Come on. Come on.

Liking strippers isn't good anymore? Come on, Hooters and on Craigslist Street fucking closed and now this, Jamie? God damn it. I think the first year we did your podcast, your birthday was at the Hooters.

Yeah. We definitely talked about that on the show, but as an update, my sister and my girlfriend, neither of which are amble of bosom, were just like, what if we applied for work at Hooters? It'll only take a second because we don't have tits. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

And I was like, all right, whatever. Turns out they had a surprise party for me there the whole time and that's how they couldn't see me go inside. Lure Pete in with the boobs. It works every time.

My sister has a t-shirt that just says, I don't have tits on it. It's fucking hilarious. It's a men's t-shirt. Not for Duke Nukem, though, because he's got those big pecs.

For sure you've never been to that t-shirt. Yeah, so he also, the big thing about Duke Nukem is he doesn't pay any attention to his haters. He knows his actions speak for themselves and he's like a ton of confidence, so he's not going to listen to you if you're just talking down to him. Speaking of men's shirts, mine that I'm wearing right now says don't read the comments, so he and I are two peas in a pod, I think.

Oh yeah, when I look at you, Pete, and wearing that t-shirt, busting it out, if you will, I definitely think Duke Nukem. Not for the physique, but for all the problematic comments. Yes, yeah, the sexism mostly. Yeah, the fact that you cried whenever you found out that strippers were canceled.

I get to vote too. Ah! You were crying so much and then it was cold and I was complaining about the snowflakes and I was trying to tell you that your tears were turning into snowflakes and you were crying more because you realized you were just creating more of the snowflakes. Right, yeah.

I can't believe women get to vote. Duke Nukem also kind of has some parallels with the last president of the United States in certain ways. Okay, yeah. Depends on when you're listening to this.

We're talking about 45. Yeah. I'm glad you know which one it is because it comes up later that the number of presidents in the Duke Nukem world and I had to look up which one we're on. We're on 46 right now.

We are, yeah. Well, I only noticed because we did Metal Wolf Chaos and that was 47 and I made all that alternate president history. A lot of Chad protagonists would not be too much like Joe Biden, confused and lost all the time. That's not the most inspiring protagonist of a video game.

Yeah, you pick up the blue key card but somehow you've lost it by the time you get to the door. Listen here, Jack. You're going to open up this door. So Duke Nukem has a signature style too.

So he always has his sunglasses, red tank top, blue jeans. Sometimes, depending on which game, he has a black combat harness that has like utility pouches or guns, explosives, all that fun stuff. Rigs and rubbers, bro. That's all I go into combat with.

A couple of MGD lights? Hell yeah. His hairstyle is platinum blonde, military cut, and he's rarely seen without his favorite sidearm. A gold-plated M1911, marked with Duke symbol, the Nuke logo.

Not to be confused with the Nike logo. Right. Okay. I don't know what the Nuke logo actually looks like.

Is it maybe like an explosion or it's like a bomb? No, the atomic symbol is like a radiation hazard symbol. It's like a dot in the middle with like the three kind of like pie slices, but the points cut off so they don't intersect with the dot. And then like the yellow circle.

Good job. Yeah, that's what I was picturing. Like calling it the Nuke symbols. I had to think about it.

I was like, what is he talking about? Yeah. I said probably that. That was a good piece.

It's like you have practice describing stuff through an audio medium when we can't look at pictures before. Yeah. So we don't know much about his early life, so feel free to Lord Boyz to candidize anything we want to for his childhood as we go on. Who's going to stop us?

Randy Bitchford? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Guys, what are you doing, though?

What if Duke Nukem's finally the episode that cancels us? All those snowflakes that Pete created with his stripper tears. All we know from before the games is that Duke served in the U.S. Army under General Graves.

Graves ends up like saving him in the final moment in Duke Nukem Forever, which we won't talk about today. And was stationed in Beirut. And that's where he became friends with Dillon, one of his best friends that comes in and out of the games that we won't talk much about, but for those who play the games, you probably know him. He met before all the games.

Oh, Duke and Dillon. What? Well, I said Duke and Dillon, double D's. Yeah, that's true.

You're asking why he's stationed in Beirut? Yeah. I don't know. All we know is that he was there with General Graves and that he left the army to work for the CIA at one point.

Why not be stationed in Beirut is my question for you. I don't know if we've ever had a war there. Okay, you say we, like we're the United States of America. Okay, that's true.

Somewhere and I'll take action too, though. I wonder if we're on Beirut next week. Yeah, while he pulls up the clip, I'll start with Duke and Dillon 1. So this is 1991.

This is when we were all just babies, like barely born. There's a fun fact about this game, actually. When they first released it, they couldn't call it Duke and Dillon. because there's an animated TV show called Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

I'm familiar with Captain Planet, but I don't yet get the link. Oh, Captain Planet is Lebanese and he was the U.S. ambassador in Beirut at the time. Oh, that makes sense.

There we go. We're a big block on it. Big X, no, no, this is Lebanese-U.S. relations will suffer tremendously from you guys saying that Duke Nukem was ever stationed here.

George H.W. Bush is just like, no, we can't risk it. Don't release Duke Nukem. So there's already a character named Duke Nukem in the show.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers. It was a bad guy. He was like a yellow skin and he was a cautionary tale against the nuclear power. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, this is like the early 90s. Yeah, I've never seen Captain Planet, but I know the kids are all identical to the kids from the Magic School Bus, making the Magic School Bus like a prequel. Yeah, so I'm looking at a picture of this guy now. He kind of looks like The Thing from the Fantastic Four, but he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he's got a mohawk, a red mohawk.

Otherwise, very similar to The Thing, who's kind of made up of blocks of rock or clay. Yeah, he's a villain in that show. So they were kind of worried at Apogee. They're like, yeah, well, if we release this game with the same name as this villain, then maybe we're going to get sued and this is like our first game.

We're not going to take that chance. So they released the game temporarily and it's a Duke Nukem. They call it Duke Nukem. They just changed the E to the U.

Okay. And once they figured out there wasn't a copyright on the name yet, they'd probably switch it back. So if you have an original Duke Nukem, then it's pretty cool. They're out there somewhere.

I mean, Saucy, put him on the board, by the way. I knew Saucy was counting, but I couldn't help but share this information. For anyone unfamiliar. That would be a great name for him to move into sex work as a new person on the scene too, right?

Yeah. He's Duke Nukem. Nukem on the block. Lord Boy's boy band name, hmm?

Yeah. Pretty cool. All right, Saucy, that's all you get for the next 10 episodes. Hopefully.

Yeah, I didn't have much, man. It's not healthy. Duke Nukem is a side-scrolling shooter. So it is like Commander Keen if you've ever played it way back when.

It wasn't on FPS when it first started in 91. It's like a platformer. You have a little rocket launcher and you shoot at stuff. The game's released in 91 but takes place in a future world of 1997.

Oh, no. That doesn't mean future. The year 2000. And the main bad guy used to be a scientist named Blunderwitz.

Very flattering name. Yeah. I wonder if you're a great name though. What's the name of the Wolfenstein guy?

Blaskowitz. Blaskowitz. This one's Blunderwitz. Maybe it's like making fun of Blaskowitz.

Protagonist or the Antagonist? The Antagonist is pretty easy. It's just Hitler. Adolf Blaskowitz, Hitler.

So this Blunderwitz, he messes around with radiation a little too much. Now he can be described as the radiation lobotomized madman who wants to take over the world by the name of Dr. Proton. Oh, Dr.

Proton. Yeah, he's like shown off in like a cut scene in 1991. A cut scene is just like a pixelated picture of Dr. Proton with like letters next to him reading what he said kind of thing.

Chainmail and like medieval plate shoulder guards. Very odd choice. I will say Duke Nukem in the original as well. Very like completely red skin and like a pink vest and a white t-shirt underneath.

That was the only version of the game where he had a pink shirt instead of a red one. It's quite an old game. I don't know if you guys have any experience with that. I played a lot of Duke Nukem 2.

I think my mom got it for us somehow because it was just on our family computer. It was probably shareware. Oh yeah. I know that that's what they offered.

What? I played Duke Nukem 3D like the first 3D one because that was on my neighbor's PC and then like for shits and giggles rented Duke Nukem forever at Blockbuster after its millennia of troubled development. Yeah. I played Duke Nukem 3D which I think I probably rented from the local video zone.

Cool. Yeah. And shareware, do you guys remember what shareware is? It comes up every time we talk about these old boomers shooters.

Yeah. It's like the first chunk of the game is free and it's just on a floppy disk or whatever and then the company will mail it to you and then if you like it you can pay them and whatever the rest. Email them your cereal box tops or some shit. Exactly.

I'm just doing the same thing. It's just you get the first level or the first two levels you get addicted you mail in your money and they send you the rest of the game. And it was actually really successful. could happen on their home computer and they probably wouldn't throw their money at it first until they could save it.

Yeah. I'm also sure like I'm sure computers in 1991 cost like $200 but adjusted for inflation if that's probably like $3,000 or something. Yeah. So they're probably like relatively much more expensive and I guess in 91 you're still like inputting things in DOS, right?

Because Windows 95 isn't a thing yet so it's a lot of work and a lot of investment if you want to like if you have no idea what a game is about there's no games journalism yet there's no YouTube with a demo so it's just like yeah you're taking a shot in the dark and here's another 90 bucks to take a chance on something. Exactly. It was Scott Miller I believe his name was who worked at this company and he's the one who has Of Miller Genuine Craft. Damn.

That's why Of Miller Genuine Craft that's why you do Yeah. Yeah. He's like I think he's the guy who founded Shareware. This is why they had so much money to dump into like 15 years of developing a game that was bad because they made a lot of money in the early 90s so okay.

Did the smart thing which was invested properly not in something stupid like crypto or whatever. They actually managed to like pull it off in the end. I spent $300 million on a gif of Lola Bunny. I'm going to be rich I'm telling you in the metaverse.

Lola Bunny farting into her basketball shorts $300,000. Okay. On to some other evil Proton Dr. Proton he's using his army of tech bots their advanced mechanized killing machines designed for the singular goal of annihilation I had an anti-warism there.

Yeah. So this first target to take over the world Dr. Proton was to target Earth's largest city. I looked up what this would be in either 1991 or 1997.

It's basically like Mumbai but written in 1991. Not Mumbai. Is it in India? No.

Is it in China? No. Is it Los Angeles? It's based on the Orchid.

They saw a population if that helps. That's why I was guessing Tokyo, Japan. And I think Tokyo, Japan still is my population the biggest city. I looked it up today.

And Tokyo, like New York was right up there right before Tokyo I think until like the 60s, 70s and then Tokyo surpassed and I think it's now still the biggest city. It's called. Yeah, so Tokyo is as of 2018 then it's Delhi in India Shanghai in China South Paulo in Brazil Mexico City in Mexico Cairo in Egypt which is a surprising one Mumbai, Beijing Daka, Osaka, Japan and then New York at number 11. Only 18 million in New York or 18.8 million.

18.8 million in New York City because I'm really in Canada with 37 million people. Yeah. So the city in the game is actually called Shrapnel City but it seems to be based on Earth so it could be that Tokyo after being bombarded by a bunch of evil robots and American government fighting back it turned into Shrapnel City. Yeah, okay.

All those shurikens that they leave just lying around, you know? So you set off a couple of explosions in there and you get a nickname like Shrapnel City. One thing leads to another, yeah. It's like unsupervised barrels of nails all over the place just like, oh, we should have known.

The US military was doing its best to fight off the technobots but they failed at just about every turn. So it's a final resort the CIA hires Duke Newcomb to stop Dr. Proton's planes. I don't think I got how the actual military worked.

You there, tall guy with a good bench press. You want to work for the CIA kid? We'll have your top in Venezuelan governments in no time. Do you want to get out of Beirut and into the action?

I'm sick of Beirut. We're not even at war with this country. So there's three episodes in the first game. You probably got the first one in Shrapnel City as the freeware or the shareware.

And then you're in the devastated city. You blast your way through the streets with all bots. Then the next two is the mission moon base. So you follow Dr.

Proton to his high security moon base where all the technobots are created and experiments carried out. And then the third and final chapter, Dr. Proton starts fleeing from Duke and goes into the time machine and Duke goes after him so they go through different time periods and fight across time. Duke ends up winning and making it back to his original timeline.

Thank God. Back in 1991 or whatever. 97. Puce.

Still two years for my millennium party. So now Duke becomes celebrated worldwide as the hero of Earth. And it's around the time that Duke is recruited by the secretive Earth Defense Force and starts his nationwide burger chain called Duke Burger. You get given a job by the UN to protect Earth from interplanetary threats and you're like, too busy, gotta open a burger chain.

Yeah. I mean, there was like a McDonald's in Kabul so that's kind of a regular thing that the government would invest in, right? Sometime after defeating Dr. Proton, Duke also began writing his memoir titled Why I'm So Great.

Is that right? And it's a book about all his heroics. Yeah. So he goes on to a talk show in Los Angeles in the early 90s.

I don't know who the talk show would be with like Richard Fulton or something. Larry King. Oprah's been on TV since like the 80s. He loves Oprah, actually.

There's a quote. Oh, yeah. That's when he gets the bee gun there's only one quote from the original game and it's, you're wrong, Proton Breath. I'll be done with you and still have time to watch Oprah.

Yeah, nice. I remember Oprah was always ending when I was getting home from elementary school and high school so I think she's on it at like three. Oh, so he's early. Yeah, exactly.

So he's like, that boss fight has to take place at like 11 and he just took care of it. Dick Jacob always gets home by five. Yeah, it was a brunch boss fight for millennials, basically. Yeah, so while presenting his book on a talk show in Neo-Los Angeles, Duke becomes kidnapped by an alien race known as the Rigelisons and that starts us off for Duke Nukem 2.

I think it'll be a good time to take a little break. Yellow, welcome back. We're on to Duke Nukem 2, the 1990s. You should have said Duke 2-come.

Duke 2-come, huh? Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Which could either be like a pun on Duke Nukem 2 or you could picture Perican 2-ke from the Lord of the Rings trilogy as Duke Nukem.

I was thinking Duke Nukem wearing a knit cap that we here in Canada call it 2-ke. 2-ke, that also works. Works on three levels. Should I call it Duke 3-come?

2-ke me once, 2-ke on me. Stop asking people to duke on you from the podcast, please. Whatever ad just played, you're welcome. Immediately from your products is Jamie asking our listeners to duke on them.

Duke me twice, Duke on you, so. Oh, yeah. That's going to reverse me. So, like any good villain in fiction, the Rigelatin, R-I-G-E-L-A-T-I-N, R-I-G-E-L-A-T-I-N, Rigelatin, R-I-G-E-L-A-T-I-N, R-I-G-E-L-A-T-I-N, R-I-G-E-L-A-T-I-N, I'll just call them the rigs from now on.

Rigelati, rigelati, rigelati, rigelati, rigelati. We should have had a little Vanna White sound effect going off in the background. R-S-T-L-N-E. Let's solve, Pat.

I'm here to eat ass and chew bubblegum. So, like any good villain, they capture Duke and they put him down while he's all tied up or whatever in this cell and they tell him the entire plan that they have before actually doing the plan. So, now that we finally have you, we saw that you could handle all the technobots on Earth and saw your enormous potential, so we decided we are going to steal your brain. Our plan is a twofold one.

First, we shave off the asses of every human being on Earth. Second, we chew up the supply of the Earth's bubblegum. What will you do, Duke? So, they're going to steal his brain to basically mass-produce him into their aliens or somehow or just steal his good brain thoughts and turn it into a weapon.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you could condense Duke Nukem's brain, his genius brain, into like an AI, you could probably just like have a good template for all your killbots. We'll take your brain and use it to extract all your confidence and then finally someone will go on a date with me. So, while waiting for his DC reverberation, which I think is taking out your cerebral stuff.

Yeah, for sure. Duke uses a gadget called an explodomolar to bite through the bars. It's like a secret tooth. Yeah, so he's got the cyanide tooth that the CIA has.

It's a grenade. Yeah, but it's just, yeah, like a, what is it, like a thermite bomb or whatever that just like burn through a safe? He's got a bunch of them. He's got one like a little Tabasco sauce just in case his food isn't seasoned enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a bubblegum tooth, so he's never had a bubblegum until he is, at which point he has to kick ass. Yeah, no hard candy for him because it'll yank out his grenade teeth. That's why he's a gum guy.

I was wondering, does he like pull the tooth out and use it to blow the bar or does he just like turn his head sideways and bite the bar and then explode it up? That's how I was picturing it. I was actually picturing the second one. His rock-solid jaw would obviously absorb the force of the impacts and he would be totally fine despite that hitting an explosive inside his own mouth.

He'd probably have like a manly belch afterwards. Oh, he'd burp out a little black smoke. He's got the OSHA-approved sunglasses that are also work glasses too in case that... Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you know what's cool, kids? Being OSHA safe. I lift my containers slowly and responsibly. If it's too heavy, I get someone else to help you pick it up.

Lift with your legs. Just because your boss says to do it doesn't mean it's right. I wear high visibility when I'm biking at night. Sure, I could destroy all the killbots said to destroy Earth, but even I wouldn't operate a forklift without a license.

All right, so our man turns his head sideways and chomps his way through the prison bars on an alien ship that he's on. Or he's not on the alien ship. He finds an alien clinic where they're going to take his brain out, right? Exactly, yeah.

Right, okay. gun directly outside the bars because Duke Nukem would believe that into existence we have studied the humans extensively we know they have no such capability to bite through metal bars we will just put his belongings just outside his cage yep so from there on kind of video games happens he fights across the surface of Rigel and destroys an energy reactor for one of the cities oh Rigel it's Rigel I think because that's where the aliens in it's from Star Trek I want to say but I know it from the Simpsons Kang and Kodas are Rigelians they come from Rigel 7 which I don't know it's a real planet but that it would make sense if that's a reference to Star Trek it makes sense it would make his way into Duke Nukem as well this game is like full of references so it would make a lot of sense for it to be there yeah yeah lore boys guess I'm gonna say that's my answer I'm not gonna canonize that one but yeah Star Trek charge Rigel 7 was the inhabitant 7 planet of the Rigel system in the Alpha Quadrant it was originally from Star Trek and then eventually the Simpsons yeah okay makes sense so he blows up a reactor it pretty much levels the whole city does he bite through that too or yes yeah yeah that uranium bar that comes off the back of Homer Simpson's back it was just right onto that don't worry babe let me just bite through this thermonuclear device and save the city he doesn't die but he does develop mouth cancer his voice is like that it's too much yeah what is it learn Jack from here yeah that's where he had his chemotherapy tooth see this tooth babe it hot sauce is my food this one makes me sick it makes my hair fall out don't get your wires crossed you gotta stay cool under pressure yeah so he goes through this whole underground system eventually comes back out of the underground system just seeing like the alien mothership about to take off he runs and like barely gets onto the back end of it and climbs his way up doesn't use a grappling hook too like shoots it out wrap around the ramp on the inspector gadget but everything is a tooth instead of yeah yeah he's just got dentures where it's like every single one is a different gadget so we have the we have the first duke newcomb's childhood lord was canon right which is that his dad was a maniacal dentist and you know probably had a moment where duke was like 12 or 13 and his dad got either arrested or it will say assassinated by the cia maybe because that's like a nice little ironic twist to it um for being a maniacal dentist and then duke newcomb ends up in the foster care system and that's what driving through the life of military service right that's the ability that he's missing his dad was the top dentist in beirut and anybody getting that amount of power in a foreign country's gotta get taken out to the cia that's why the cia took yeah exactly i like that he's like inhumanly confident so maybe his dad like drilled a little too deep and hit a nerve that like caused a brain reaction that like wherever your confidence meter is you know it's like you know people get like head injuries their personalities completely changes yeah oh sorry son i drilled so far into your gums i hit your frontal cortex like he's got a he's got a grappling hook in his teeth man you gotta roll that up so sure and now son i'm installing a radio transmitter which will uh send out a signal of copious propaganda to all the local people like knock on the door let me just get that door then we'll get back to your operation son there's no mechanism to come back in like he has to like pull his ear over and over again it's not my ear i got a winch babe yeah he finally makes it to the alien mothership this is where the final boss is like big alien is um so he fights us all the way to the cockpit uh and destroys the commander putting it into the threat this was a pre-9-11 alien cockpit so uh if it was afterwards maybe he wouldn't have been able to fight his way through and the aliens might have won but they'd never let him on a plane with teeth like that pre-9-11 cockpit yeah it's just like a curtain you just push it out of the way it's like one of those sliding like japanese doors you know paper just feeds yeah paper with debris in it for debris city i guess or whatever it is the bees are nice because uh they would function also as like a tilt on it right it would show you like the tilt of the air point yeah i don't know what it's called the tilt on it in front of them they just have a rear view mirror so they can see the door behind them yeah uh you'll notice a little bit of turbulence here uh get my co-pilot and keep an eye on the bees a tilt on it or tilt meter has a sense of inclinometer designed to measure very small changes from the vertical level but usually not used in planes used in uh like engineering so like leveling ground and stuff okay so that measures vertical levels at the end of this horizontal level duke is now in the cockpit and he has one and he is in charge of the ship and he's looking at earth from from space and he contemplates taking it over as king duke i could be king duke not it doesn't sound right what if he was like a cousin of a king then he could be duke duke yeah he was a big dog he could be marmer duke oh man he would have duked you twice um this leads right into the next game as he comes and brings down the ship uh probably one of the greatest of all time duke nukem games and it's duke nukem 3d hell yeah dude before jungles lore like just have to say this game in 1996 was i don't know when doom and quick came out comparatively but when this game came out it was like the best graphics the best doom was definitely before that uh quake was 1993 quake was 1996 at the same time as the same year as duke nukem okay so maybe duke came out a little bit before or something because i know quake is really um like um yeah doom was 93 so yeah i don't know when doom 2 came out as someone who beat quake for the first time quake remastered recently that game is full 3d with like models uh so it definitely does look worse than duke because duke is still like good sprites so it does have a lot more detail uh there's a lot of like uh weird beige and people look like they kind of look like they made a sandwich meat in quake uh it rules don't get me wrong but um artistically i think duke holds up way better now it was like the best like the engine was created by like some 19 year old kid they found in new jersey like uh brossard was just like this kid there's something about him get him in we'll give him a job we're gonna make a great build engine i think it's a build engine yeah yeah yeah yeah they ended up trying to use it for forever but then like trashing it just because they took so long to to make a game that like yeah i didn't just never keep up with the release date uh yeah um duke came back to earth um just to be shot out of the sky by a new race of alien invaders so rise you beat the old aliens he came home and there's new ones because the cia can't handle aliens for like an afternoon while doing space going to the lead curtain of an alien spaceship like what the fuck yeah apparently there's a lot of extraterrestrial life uh in their version of the world compared to ours um yeah so what were these aliens after you might ask it was the babes i know the plot of this one you do know the plot of this they came to earth to abduct all the women of course yeah i like how the the like all the developers hit puberty at some time between duke duke 2 and duke 3 so it just went like wildly like way off the bro scale it got way off the morning between games i do i mean i like the idea and maybe this is always canon that they weren't abducting the women but just saving them from a world where a man like duke nukem is you know deified oh yeah that's probably it's like the women we're desperate to get out of there and they're like finally the one guy who can stop the aliens is gone he's in outer space let's get all the babes out of here and duke nukem comes down goes into a blind range and just starts killing all the aliens are wearing white suits of armor as well so white suit of armor the odd pig alien will have a fedora on yeah you do know about the pig aliens too so that these aliens they transform the los angeles police department into an army of mutant pigs to do their big that didn't take a lot of work big pigs exactly cop cop uh video games happens um and you just follow the missions laid out by the earth defense forces there's a lot more here than the previous games but you eventually defeat the alien invaders and destroy like a huge portion of their forces uh the i guess the notable ones are cycloid emperor it's a bunch of eyes an alien queen just an alien lady um i remember nothing but uh ladies moaning on a payphone that's the only thing i remember from uh duke nukem 3d so you could yeah you could do that i know there's a lot of stuff you could interact with like you could like walk into a bunch of different rooms and like play with a lot of the furniture and stuff that's lying around and of course see the pasties on a on a you know pg-13 stripper yeah as well it was very like immersive for that day and age like where the only way you can interact with the world is like shooting um to be able to like i think you can go up to a pool table and like not all the balls away and things like that oh cool yeah but what they kind of took that and ran with it in duke nukem forever and just kind of made it take away from the game's plot rather than add to it but we'll get to that soon uh so in the peaceful years after the alien invasion of earth uh duke enjoyed his hard-won fame uh to its fullest he became a successful businessman and a celebrity multi-millionaire okay okay yeah i now i see more getting back to joe biden okay yeah he got his uh you got his um burger chain uh which doubles as a on it so can i get a double bacon cheese but with no floss thanks yeah yeah and like the condiment dispenser is just duke nukem's head and you have to press different parts of his face and they come out of different teeth like that's not much of a tooth it's like ketchup tooth it's like ketchup tooth yeah ew um and the toothpaste tooth of course a toothpaste tooth would be very handy though because it's where it's got to be right that's the one tooth that's not out of place in there you think it's like self-cleaning he has like a self-cleaning little car wash going on well i assume he has a toothpaste tooth and toothbrush tooth so yeah ah yeah so like slides draw back and forth they get a thorough clean that's why you don't have to you don't have to brush your teeth after you eat the frozen pizza too fast because you've burned all the bacteria out of your mouth true that's why i always smoke a menthol cigarette when i'm done eating just really freshens the place up uh so yeah you guys you guys know a fun fact about menthol cigarettes they're not more nicotine in them but menthol is a vascular dilator so it opens your blood vessels and you actually get more nicotine because your blood takes in more per puff because of menthol oh cool for all the sailors out there you should eat some vix of vapor rub before taking those dick hits i'm pretty sure you'd be fine but i'm not going to say it on air petroleum vellium eucalyptus frankly if like i've smeared it all over my face and like it used to decongestate as a child like you know you've got it on your lip to like clear yourself out if you put it that close to a child's mouth before bed there's no way it's poisonous but don't eat it i still like a weird thing about my ears and at one point like whenever i had an ear infection my stepmom put a vix of vapor rub in my ear she said this is like going to fix it and all it did was just clogged wildly wrong it clogged my ears i couldn't hear out it and she was just like you're just being a pussy basically i'm like no i can't hear out my ears and then and then she said i'm taking your sisters to the ball and you have to scrub all my floors yeah i still have a weird thing about my ears too yeah jamie's jamie's waiting for his glass q-tip that prince charming will bring perfectly into his ears yep uh so yeah i guess also the lord boys don't condone putting q-tips in your ears because i think that's a thing that you're not supposed to do i think you're not supposed to do that i do use an after i shower though i think the secret is like you gotta do like a twisting movement like pulling out and don't just like jam in the whole way i think there's a good way and a bad way and no one really tells you how to use these things there is yeah like what's what's with algebra just show me how to use a cue i've been to your doctor in the last year and he was like yeah don't do it so i'm here with him not you guys no offense we had different like symptoms i've used my whole life and i've like never had like an issue yeah issues maybe he's like all people who have issues they don't know how to use them so this guy's an idiot he shouldn't use them you know yeah maybe he did he did he did he was an idiot he kept talking about what a fucking dummy i was sitting in the chair but like to my face but it was like hey doc i got a blocked ear and i think he thought when he walked too much wax in his ears hey that'd be an OSHA violation you need to be able to hear clearly so you don't get hit by forklifts right yeah exactly well these all these motherfuckers driving around with no license yeah uh so yeah our boy's a celebrity multi-millionaire um he is now living in a penthouse of the lady killer casino that he owns in las vegas nevada and uh he continues to operate his booming um restaurant chain so yeah duke burger man duke nukem forever happens in this time uh but we're not gonna cover the plot uh it's much too long and it's much too bad but we're still gonna talk a little bit about how we got there we're running a little bit long but it's okay um with the president the president actually dies in duke nukem forever because he's an asshole and like conspires with aliens and lets them come in for some personal gain um okay so highly fictionalized that a politician would betray the people that they work for for personal gain but yeah never so with the president dead uh duke announced his candidacy for the 69th president of the united states hell yeah yeah so there must be a lot of time lost whenever he went up to space and came back like maybe there was some like uh like relativity going on there because we're at what 46 yeah yeah 46 right now as i'm recording yeah so they got all the way to 69 or maybe there's a huge turnover um a lot of alien invasions people just keep having to step it down yeah that's true i i would love to see the face on the on the person that wrote that it's just like man 69th president like everybody in the room it's just like yeah it's great man okay you know the game's been developed for like 19 years and they're just all exhausted all got to change their desks yeah at your box in texas yeah i'll talk a little bit about the duke nukem forever and uh how it like was supposed to come out but didn't come out just because if you look up duke nukem to this day its legacy really is the failure of duke nukem forever so it wouldn't be a full episode if we didn't at least touch on it um sure so it took 15 years from 1996 to 2011 for them to create the best game creators so let's be the best ones um so they kept adding things into the game kind of like i mentioned before they had a pool table in the old one so they're like let's put a fully functioning pool table in the new one uh let's put uh beads in the cockpit that move exactly when you go through them like they just keep adding these silly gimmicks that weren't really essential for what made duke nukem fun and yeah i played forever and there's like a white board with a marker that you can just draw on for some reason and it's something like half like alex where you have like almost one-to-one vr hand control it's cool but like when you're trying to like draw a cock with an xbox 360 controller like why is this here yeah uh they're like i've drawn cock with my xbox 360 controller before but it's in online multiplayer lobbies where other people can appreciate the girthiness right single-player experience like that was something in the 15-year time frame too we're like oh people are doing multiplayer now we better put multiplayer into it um that was another thing that like set them back and i mean yeah so like those mid-aunts was like peak like first person shooter multiplayer right like i was like yeah the cod halo like all those games like I kind of get that which I am really appreciative now that like there's a lot of single player focus coming kind of back into the industry just because it's the kind of games that I enjoyed I loved like Halo multiplayer online whenever I was younger but now I'm just like I don't have the time to stay competitive at any video game it's like I look at Age of Empires 4 I'm like man I really want to pick that up but I just want to do the campaign I never want to play an online match in my life yeah something we struggle with is like you said kind of like how fast games are progressing in like 1996 too all the way through the mid-aughts because like when they announced the game people were still using Windows 95 the Xbox had been created or released yet that's when they announced the game and when the game came out it was 2011 like just so much happened in that time all three Halos came out and I think Reach 2 probably I don't know when Reach came out but it's just like yeah they're trying to like perfect the pool table in Duke Nukem just in case somebody wants to touch it at some point meanwhile Halo was released three games Reach was released in 2010 every time they would like start to get ahead and be like more attractive than like the game that's right next to them they would get bogged down in all these new systems that Brostar wants to add into it it's like well the pool table's not right the beads aren't right the whatever's not right so then by the time they got those things set up they're no longer graphically like on par with the person next to them just because things are evolving so fast right like you can't stop and make like a million different things into your game you just choose a date and release it or else you're just gonna fall behind so they had to scrap the entire game and rebuild it on a new engine like three times just because their engines just became out of date over and over again at one point they like actually switched to the which I mean Skyrim Skyrim released with like basically the Oblivion engine like yeah it's fine they released with a Morrowind engine Morrowind engine yeah it's fine I think the creation engine still is the like balsa wood stilts that are like barely holding up Fallout 76 right now I mean that's my theory on why 6 is being delayed forever is because they're actually like starting to crash with an engine or something and it's like they were able to put out those other massive games faster because they relied on older parts which they just wouldn't necessarily be able to do but what's waiting to see yeah at one point they actually kind of got close to like what would be good I'm not sure exactly which year but this is like before 2010 for sure because that's when Randy Pitchford came on the scene this is back when Brossard still in charge and at one point they switched the Unreal Engine and did a promo E3 and everyone's like hey Duke Duke of Forever might actually be good this looks good right now Duke Duke is ready to come out it wasn't but the thing is it might have been ready to come out but Brossard just like kept they have all this money because they have the shareware thing they lease out like their engine to certain games and stuff so every time a game is being sold they're getting like a portion of that so they have this income Take 2 is like their publisher but since they're not giving them much money they can kind of just tell them hey fuck off we'll get it out when we get it out so Brossard had an awful habit of seeing mechanics in other games and then like adding them to Duke of Forever so the staff had like a running joke where they'd hide new releases from him because they wanted just to be able to finish a fucking game some of them started to finish their career and like never released a game Saints Row 3 lets you beat a guy to death with a giant dildo I want it in my game god dammit it's like the office staff had like they had a plant within like the janitorial staff where it's like okay so like every single day you need to replace Brossard's calendar with an identical calendar that has the exact same amount of days crossed off he cannot know that it's not 1999 anymore since like 2008 he's just like for the love of god if he goes anywhere near your computer you are contractually obligated to dump your mop bucket onto that computer you have to get down Mr. President to him at any turn he's just like don't tell him to cell phone this some of the things are really cool like trying to add more narrative like Half-Life came out in his time I think both Half-Life came out in that time both did yeah and so did Episodes 1 and 2 Episode 2 came out in 2007 so like sometimes he would grab cool things from other games that actually would make sense to add to his game but like at a certain point you saw a game with a snow level and he's like we need a snow level even though there's like nothing in the story that would bring him to like a place with snow like no no no let's restart this whole level we need snow I mean Mr. Brossard might have had something here though because I hate it when you're playing a video game and it's like oh no snow level like I don't even want to play it anymore if I get halfway through like I think it's got to be in the first half I got to see snow or else I'm not that's part of an ice level is where it fucks up your movement right like when you retain momentum I love that shit exactly somewhere about like 12 years in they kind of just had to pull the plug on it they said you know what we're not going to be able to release a game Take-Two starts to sue them for not releasing I think Randy Pitchford comes on the team around now and just says okay what do we got we'll put it out we'll figure it out I like the fact that some publisher I think 2K is based out of Europe or whatever was just like no you owe us the game you have the 69th president in it yeah I'm kind of doing this off memory right now so it might be switched around a bit but Take-Two definitely sued Rossiard and Miller for not releasing the game they lost a bunch of staff like around this time too before they from old age yeah like people who've been working for 10 years and don't have a single game on their CV you know it's like yeah plus they were paying less too because they're still stuck in the 90s and 18 people working on the game when like other AAA companies have like 50 to 100 right come on what does a quarter pound it cost 25 cents what do you need to raise for just get frosted we got Duke burgers in the freezer if you gotta eat okay yeah so yeah Randy Pitchford just comes around and finally helps them release what they had according to people on the team the game felt a lot more like a bunch of like separated tech demos rather than a fluid game it's like this is the whiteboard place this is the pool table place yeah yeah I've played about half of it I got to like the dune buggy level or whatever and it is very much like the first level is kind of a regular shooter where he's like fucking the Olsen twins or something yeah all the references are like from the mid 90s too for some reason yeah exactly nothing even made sense to me and I've been born like kind of or like I was a child during the time it was written and then yeah you get like there's the shrink ray level which admittedly is creative because there's a lot of like puzzles on shelves and shit like that this is the Tony Hawk's Pro Scanner level where you have to do a 540 McTwist over all yeah so they do actually release it it's not received well you can play like Duke Nukem 3D for like $2 on Steam and Duke Nukem Forever for $4 on Steam if you want to see how bad it is but through all those years and all the turnover of the staff and the change in leadership they just kind of lost what Duke Nukem was yeah he used to be kind of tongue-in-cheek making fun of like American action heroes and then he just became like a more serious version he like he went from being like a funny Arnold movie to Steven Seagal movie somehow just mean-spirited and old yeah yeah so just to show you I pulled three quotes just to finish off the episode and three are from Duke Nukem 3D and three of them are from Forever and you can see how in 3D there's kind of like a second meaning or a reference where it's kind of like a little bit funny and in Forever it's just like Vulgar for the Vulgar's sake yeah this would have been a great Lord Boy's mailbag game where you did three Forever quotes three Duke Nukem 3D quotes and then three Lord Boy's quotes and see which is the most sexist what I was going to do is I was going to pull action movie quotes from like Arnold and like Jungle FM and then like say okay is it Duke Nukem, Arnold, or Van Damme or something like that it turned out just comparing them to themselves is enough to show you how bad the game kind of got so like one Izzy says in 3D hmm that's one Doom Space Marine because there's a Space Marine from Doom corpse in the game so he makes a little reference to the Javis that is competition you're an inspiration for birth control that's a cool one that's a cool one yeah and this is when he goes to like a national pharmacy or something and sees you know a pregnancy test on the ground and the reference that they live that Peter mentioned it's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of gum and it's like yeah a very iconic one that line is also not correct in Duke Nukem because I've seen the clip and it's just like it's Rowdy Roddy Hyper or some shit in a bank with the magic sunglasses on he's like I am here to chew gum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum is like the actual line but the Duke Nukem one is so much better so now here's some from the newer version where they kind of miss the markings it just says my ball's your face cool man I mean gamers get out your notebooks here's some classic pickup lines for you fire fans this is like kind of I guess because they're four Halo games deep at this point right yep so he should have said if he wanted to live up to the legacy of Duke in 3D he should have said my ball's your face Master Chief yeah because I'm going to put a corpse of Master Chief in the game maybe you can find the reference for this next one because I couldn't quit bleeding pussy that's the part where you fall down and bleed to death I mean it's not a reference maybe but I know there's another line do you have one about Power Armor?

I can find it no because I know it because I know it's just like hey Duke or Mr. President whatever the fuck he is now it's just like we've got your power over here and it is just like like Dollar Store brand Master Chief and he's like Power Armor is for pussies and it's just like cool man yeah like five years it's just ten years after the first game came out blew your ass out of the game but it's video games it's for pussies what this is my favorite one not my favorite one actually but I couldn't believe it existed when I was looking through it really popped out to me so this is while slapping alien breasts he says got milk okay and I look it up there's just some alien titties on the wall and when you slap them the milk comes out of them so it's like alien titties like mounted like in a hunter's cabin on the wall it looks like a growth on the wall it's like a tri-titty like three titties just on a wall yeah the alien monster boss the level after this one I think is the dune buggy level the boss in this level is like a gigantic alien monster that does just have three huge tits on it gotcha I think get milk is another 90s reference right it is yeah this came out in 2011 yeah I guess you're right because they all are 90s I don't know they just missed the mark the other one was like fun and more in the time this time all the quotes just felt like so serious and not cool 1993 1993 that would have been a dated reference for the first of Duke Nukem it was god milk it came out oh sorry Duke Nukem 3D yeah it would have been dated for 3D yeah anyways those are some things if you guys want to play the game probably the best one if you just want to like try the boomershooters Duke Nukem 3D you can get it super cheap on Steam Forever is probably worth skipping unless you want to enjoy it in the way that you would enjoy an awful movie or something like that yeah I was going to say if it's actually $5 it might be worth struggling through in the same way you watch like The Room or Birdemic or something like that there's something about there's something about watching corny movies that I so often don't feel the same way like it's the story right it's like the punched up characters and like caricatures of characters whereas like janky game mechanics and you know frustrating boss fights is not something that I feel like I would get the same enjoyment out of but if you do then hey more hours to get yeah like struggling through shady controls just to get to the next got milk reference is probably not as much fun as like having some drinks with the lads and watching The Room like fun of Ferris Hilton in 2011 or whatever like okay yeah well that was Duke Nukem we're trying to polish up all the boomershooters I think if we can hit Quake we can finally put this to rest and we'll get the final the final feathers now in our bristling bards cap at this point our Yankee Doodle cap yeah yeah so I guess Ethan if you want to take us home sure yeah if you guys like the show make sure to let us know by leaving us a review it helps the show a whole bunch you can do it wherever you can find a place to review us just shout it into ETHER if that's all you got you know stick your face in a pillow and yell about how good the Loreboys is teenage girls in 90s movies did that go upstairs and yell about the Loreboys iTunes is better but if that's all you got that's all you got I'm not going to poo-poo you if you want to get in touch with us click on the link to Discord in the description of this episode which should be shown if it's not you can go to the Loreboys.com there's a link to our Discord there hop on in you can request more Boomer Shooters if you want to hear Jamie talk about Bill Blaskowicz and Wolfensign then you can request it there we have a channel specifically for it if you guys want to support the show financially of course we do have patreon.com slash the Loreboys where you can support the show with a little bit of scratch a little bit of cash and we'll give you some rewards for that support thank you guys at the time of recording Eric with K God bless you Eric with K the only of our fans who I've met in person I think yes probably yeah so we've got rewards like episode scripts like we'll give more weight to you guys' suggestions every once in a very very blue moon we've done polls on episode topics that we've wanted to do and let you guys decide which ones we actually will talk about and all that can be found in the Discord so head on over to the Discord and come talk to us we can request the Olsen Twins yeah you can request the Olsen Twins and of course for anybody who doesn't trust Big Patreon we do have Loreboys Prime where we are preparing the presidential campaign for the 420th president of America now we all plan on running so we're going to need a lot of campaign aides you know different advisors different things what we'll need the most though is of course somebody to come up with some sort of wormhole device that will either let us travel into the future so that we can actually be around for the 420th election of the president of the United States of America and we will or alternatively you could have every president you could develop some sort of device that would let every president age faster supernaturally fast so their four years perceived would happen much quicker maybe in like a year or something and we just get through presidents much quicker right maybe it's just mess and like maybe we'll just give the president's mess and then they'll be up all night and they'll get more done in the time like four times as fast kind of thing and they'll have one big crash after their term I think like saying anything to harm a president of our legal troubles at this point as James alluded to so we'll worry about that it'll detail you about how to get us to the 420th election of the United States of America we can cover all the parties too I'm just thinking about it like Pete's got the CCP we can do the Democrat-Republican and we'll just cover all our bases at one of us I'll be the donkey because I've got the biggest ass I've got the biggest donk if you know what I mean I don't know which is which I think the donkey's a Democrat no donkey's Republican I don't know do you have to know that is that going to be on the test for the United States of America oh gosh I think that would cost you more boys alright well my name's James and before the soundcheck we were talking about serious stuff so I'm going to go real silly here's an impression of a cartoon character hey Scooby Dooby Doo what's up I do your turn okay my name is Peter and if I wanted to we were talking about some some serious stuff earlier because I had a week but I'm just trying to think of like if I wanted to transplant one Hanna-Barbera character into a different Hanna-Barbera cartoon which I guess you did the Yogi Bear and Scooby Bross over I heard Flintstone in there I definitely heard Flintstone in there I guess like Yabba Dabba Doo and Scooby Dooby Doo yeah maybe that's what I'm hearing god I wish I could remember what a third Hanna-Barbera character George Jensen doesn't have a catchphrase he's going to be born this year 2022 he says I gotta get back to work at the Scrockets factory yeah what's his boss's name the robot's Rosie yeah his wife's Jane his wife's Jane Elroy I wouldn't have got that George no George is his name Mr. Sprockets Pink Panther's one the Pink Panther doesn't speak but I think it's a silent cartoon Clouseau doesn't speak in that either Pink Panther was played by Charlie Chaplin confirmed yep silent film actor automatically means that they are also mute they cannot speak George Jensen's boss is Cosmo Spacely Mr. Spacely that's a great name because I know in Harvey Birdman he's like hello ancient ape man we have come from the distant future of 2002 and then like Harvey looks at the calendar and it says 2006 he's like already Ethan do you have an impression to finish this off here hey Lois it's me Peter that was very good that was very good yeah this is one of the longer sound checks but I think I'll include it in the end or something