Dumb Crook Chronicles: High Dealers Dial 911 on Themselves, Cocaine Theft Victim Calls the Cops, & the Olive Garden Fryer Tragedy ft. Macky Outlaw & Jus

Send us Fan Mail Macky Outlaw and Jus are back with another round of Dumb Crook News—where criminals become their own worst enemies in the most mind-blowing ways. This episode is packed with stories that'll have you yelling "Why would you do that?!" at your speakers. First up: The all-time classic from Rexburg, Idaho (2015, but timeless)—two guys hauling 20 pounds of weed get so stoned and paranoid they think undercover cops are tailing them everywhere. Solution? Pull over, call 911, announce they're the "two dumbasses" with drugs, and beg police to "end it." Hands up, product seized, and one of the funniest 911 tapes ever released. We break down the paranoia spiral, why weed + long drives = bad ideas, and how this still gets memed a decade later (Rexburg PD even threw a "10th anniversary" shoutout asking traffickers to keep calling in). Next: Florida Man strikes again. A self-described drug dealer in Fort Walton Beach (near Bradenton vibes) wakes up to find someone broke into his car and stole cash... plus his baggie of cocaine. What does he do? Calls 911 to report the theft like it's any other burglary. Cops show up, hear the story, search the car, find more coke and crack—boom, arrested for possession. We speculate: Was he that bold, that dumb, or just hoping for sympathy points? Classic "snitch on yourself" energy. And the heavy one: The recent tragedy at an Olive Garden in Williamsport, Pennsylvania (late January 2026)—a cook, in apparent mental health crisis, stripped down and plunged his head into a hot deep fryer in a suicide attempt. Coworkers and even a patron fought to pull him out, suffering burns themselves; he was rushed to the hospital but succumbed to the injuries. We discuss the heartbreaking 911 audio (dispatcher rattled: "victim went head first into the fryers"), what might drive someone to that point, and why these stories hit different—mix of shock, sadness, and the raw human element behind the headlines. We roast the self-own hall-of-famers, speculate on what possesses people to make these calls or choices, drop listener-submitted dumb crook honorable mentions if you send 'em in, and remind everyone: Crime doesn't pay... especially when you narc on yourself. Grab tissues for the serious one, laughs for the rest—this episode's a rollercoaster. What's the dumbest crook story you've heard? Drop it in the comments. #DumbCrookNews #FloridaMan #IdahoWeedFail #OliveGardenTragedy #TrueCrimeComedy #WildStories Support the show 866.910.7499 [email protected]