EPISODE · May 21, 2017 · 3 MIN
DVT And Taxes
from Jacob Haller's songs · host Jacob Haller
In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we picked the winners, and Jake sent all the entries to music. This is one of the runner-ups. The lyrics are by Iris [REDACTED]. I made some alterations when I recorded it; the original lyrics can be found below, along with some notes from the author: Written in the middle of the night before tax day, having been woken up by increased pain in my thigh. Googling possible causes I came up with DVT or Deep Vein Thrombosis, basically a blood clot which my pain-addled brain surmises could possibly have formed from sitting too long in one position while doing my taxes last week. Doing my taxes Sitting on one knee, I Have to get this done today, oh woe is me. Leg hurts a little, now Where's that receipt, Gotta be here somewhere (I can't feel my feet). Outside it's raining buckets, no Walk today for me, Just as well, cuz this deadline must be beat. Chorus: DVT and taxes, no fun for me, everybody get up and dance. It's a painful process but it's 4-14, and the Gubment needs my money to Build another fleet of... ...Ships to send to china, And nukes for north koreee- Coupl'a hundred MOABs to Bomb the middle east ...Prisons on the border for La- tinos trying to flee, and Secret service helipads right Next to the first Tee [CHORUS] Internet doctor says I must eat Three raw garlic cloves a day, Oh, yuck-pew-ey! Ginger, cayenne pepper, some ACV, Blackstrap molasses all Made into a tea. Choke it all down, prop a Pillow under the knee, Contemplating how to reach the Remote for the TV. [CHORUS]
What this episode covers
In 2016, the hosts of Love YA Like Crazy announced a contest: write a song for the podcast, ideally inspired by a book or something else related to the podcast. In 2017, we picked the winners, and Jake sent all the entries to music. This is one of the runner-ups. The lyrics are by Iris [REDACTED]. I made some alterations when I recorded it; the original lyrics can be found below, along with some notes from the author: Written in the middle of the night before tax day, having been woken up by increased pain in my thigh. Googling possible causes I came up with DVT or Deep Vein Thrombosis, basically a blood clot which my pain-addled brain surmises could possibly have formed from sitting too long in one position while doing my taxes last week. Doing my taxes Sitting on one knee, I Have to get this done today, oh woe is me. Leg hurts a little, now Where's that receipt, Gotta be here somewhere (I can't feel my feet). Outside it's raining buckets, no Walk today for me, Just as well, cuz this deadline must be beat. Chorus: DVT and taxes, no fun for me, everybody get up and dance. It's a painful process but it's 4-14, and the Gubment needs my money to Build another fleet of... ...Ships to send to china, And nukes for north koreee- Coupl'a hundred MOABs to Bomb the middle east ...Prisons on the border for La- tinos trying to flee, and Secret service helipads right Next to the first Tee [CHORUS] Internet doctor says I must eat Three raw garlic cloves a day, Oh, yuck-pew-ey! Ginger, cayenne pepper, some ACV, Blackstrap molasses all Made into a tea. Choke it all down, prop a Pillow under the knee, Contemplating how to reach the Remote for the TV. [CHORUS]
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DVT And Taxes
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