We're here now. Yeah, we can hear you now. Yeah, we're here now. Yeah, we're now.
Is that better or worse than it was? Yeah, that's me. That's me. Why isn't it working?
To my life. No, not there Phil. That's right. Hello, good evening and go fuck yourself.
It's the two my left insert topic podcast, episode 10. Yeah. So 10. Yeah, absolutely.
The occasionally profane and always profound. No, I've got that wrong. Hold on. The occasionally profaned and always profaned.
Podcast of five old uni mates. Just talking bullshit for an hour. My name's Jonesy and I've got apples here. Right, apps.
I'm good about Amazon. I'm not bad mate. Not bad at all. And big girls here.
Are you doing buddy? I'm in the new league buddies. Man of a thousand voices as we found out from episode eight. And I'm time unbelievably because we contacted his misses.
Who else here? Go over here. Yeah, wait. Yeah, wait.
Yeah, wait. Yeah, wait. Well, first of all, what's everyone drinking? I'm just going upstairs to grab a beer.
Oh, not really. That's a point of a little bit. Unbelievable. That doesn't sound like he's at home then, because you don't have an app.
I'm on the landing. I'm podcasting and building bicycle at the same time. Who said blokes could multitask? Exactly.
No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.
No, no. Why? Why? Why can you build him, Nick?
The one I need in a week. Ooh, the tour. Yeah. I think she's talking for the film.
Talk to me. Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. You don't say the right word. No, I have to the injection means for the different. No, no, no.
No, no. No, my main concern about cycling is not missing toilets. The fact that I won't be able to talk about it. You don't really have to do a drama.
No, I'm physically. I mean, I could not be there. You'd be fine. Anyway, sorry.
I'm drinking a kind of Budwell. What a great choice. What about you? What about you?
What about you? Apples? I've got something fresh on frills, buddy. That's a say.
Ooh, they never said it by the bowl. I was in question. Sorry, I was having a damn other day. I'm having a bit more.
I've got a nice, it's very sweet. This isn't actually that sweet. I was surprised. I thought I don't remember.
I don't remember. I remember being sweet. It's not too bad. I think I'm not sweet.
I think I'm not sweet. The sweetest part of the game is all the ego bumps we were down in as well. Talking to you. We interrupt.
We interrupt. I'll do it again. That's okay. I'm doing the subtle days.
It's not going down very well. But I'll go out to our French race. It's quite a ball. Yeah.
I'm so pretentious. I'm so pretentious. I'm obviously. I don't think we take it high ground.
I'm having rebel brewing companies, dark Cornish ale, 80 shilling. 80 shilling. Oh, okay. It's out of Chicago.
Yeah, probably. Fair enough. There's a war hog with a beer stalker in a hot air balloon as it's label. It's got shovel in his hand as well.
A shovel. Yeah. Odd. No.
I remember when traveling. What type of beer is it? It's a dark Cornish ale. We've got a guest voice.
That guest voice come from. Is it Bridget? Is it Jen? Yeah.
I'm telling you, just shut the door. Shut that door. I can't read it. It's actually very early myself.
Anyway, we've got your attention because you're typing something. I can have a CV. Do we have your attention? Yeah.
Sorry. You don't have your attention because you're typing something. You're typing something. Are you doing something with your Orcs in Neverland or weather?
Yeah. Right next to Peter Pan. That's really awesome. Are you world of Warcraft?
All right. New role. We're not allowed to world of Warcraft or Pokemon during podcasting. Which rolls us on to enemy of the podcast nominations.
Who wants to go first? I'm a J.C. What the fuck are you guys doing at the age of 35 playing Pokemon? It's ridiculous.
Well, late mid-30s. Early-30s. But it's, I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. Okay. Right, go. And get it.
Silly, snap. My nominations. After you play Pokemon a bit, your virginity grows back. I'm going to return.
That's for real. Then you fall on virgin. Your highmen is complete. I'm just going to be jam putting pop.
Get that handle. Get that handle back anyways. That sounds. You have to be Maw Dev advice.
Ah, that's my nomination. Let's get northwest. Yes. That's my nomination.
Let's get on with you. If I'm honest, Jonesy, due to my very short attention span, I've actually pretty much got blamed. I know Apple's media is still going to stroll. Yeah.
I might, something get loud. I'll just check on my... Yeah, that's a level 20 as of, was it? Just 10, day before?
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
23. 26. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. 24. 24.
24. 24. Looking at that A mobil dancer and when he gets considerations, Gisers He is a Stillen. Well, I didn't get that to do it, but we did, yeah.
But today, today's a really good example as well. So my, so, Bridget's cousin went into labor and got twinned niece and nephew. And we don't know what to do with them. He decided he wanted to play Pokemon Go.
So literally we were just walking around for two, three hours. That can't be a bad thing. Well, it'd be the second step of the house to try and intersect it. So I actually think it's not necessarily a bad thing.
I can see it's a bit like, I don't know, on like, up crack. But, you know, it's risky. You've got to be careful. Like, kids, I can imagine it caught in the pain.
But I can't see any problem with getting people out and about in a world when everybody's looking at their phones anyway. So, happy mapping. I think they'll be better picking an Olympics ball than playing Pokemon to the right minute. Well, I could play the Olympics and I know one watch me and or snap my leg in half like that.
So I get a good one. I didn't see the injury. What happened? Oh, it was a render.
Yeah, all right, it's proper. What's it called? Is it not the horse? It's not the horse.
No, it's the vault. The vault. The vault, thank you for that. So Guy comes up, does like a triple spin.
I don't know, 180 bollocks. Pick the ball. There he is. That's, but lands funny.
Like, like he's falling over and like his leg snaps. Literally it's hanging. And it's just like his foot hanging. It's like his, what's your two shin bones called?
Tibia and Tibia, is it? Yes. Both go, I think. I mean, both go because it's yeah.
It's her. It's actually to be fair, you know, well, Tommy's friend originally, but my friend now is well. She broke around calling off one of those tough mudder walls and we do a tough mudder. Cool.
So that's my, yeah. Pokemon is my mirror. My hero of the week is the woman who got lost at the cricket at age of Aston yesterday and walked directly from the side screen under the car, holding it. Is she here or whatever?
She's by hero. She's like a brilliant, absolutely drunk woman. She's like, she's like, I'm a ladder. She's like climbing over the top, all of you completely lost.
But it was like the term in spirit. I don't know what appointment you're colliding up a ladder to navigate your round of sports. I think it's the most thing. I think I'm going the wrong way.
It's well worth doing now, because I know you don't know who Gritty is on. I was a family barbecue with no signal and only had like text message. I had text Apple to say what's the score. He went what match.
I'm going to fucking do that. That's right. Did you pig listen? Thank you for watching.
What was the name of the big apple? Harry Trotter, you swine bowl, you've been selling a chomp and I can't remember the fourth one. It's funny, it's as good as you swine bowl. I can't remember it.
But yeah. I didn't think it's a great speedball. I was buying an idea, but I didn't think it would have been a bit dated. And it doesn't really work.
I was trying to think of a young generation of a little bit of Christian. You were back in a big sausage, don't you? Woo! You can see Rebecca Adlington groping the co-comentator as well.
That's quite funny. Yeah, I was going under the table. Yeah, she's got a couple of live. You know the percentage of her on the other side?
I saw what she was wearing. She looked amazing. Yeah, they're saying about that. Anyway, who else is nomination for Enemy of the Podcast?
No. Well, who was that? What was Apple's do on there? No, Apple doesn't have one yet.
He's got his hand up. I don't know. He's going back to me because I'm weighing up too at the moment. I'll take one.
I'll take one. I'll take one. Well, because I should have blagged it and said I was going to pick the other one. Well, Sam, not for that.
It's going to Apple then, because he probably knows more. So, it's got to be, isn't it? The IOC, the International Olympic Committee, the Latin Russia fucking... Why are they not banned completely from the Olympics?
Everyone winches about giving... Oh, these different sports, like Jonesy, the first to cycle football. They cheat and cheat and cheat and they shouldn't be there. Even the IIC have now banned them.
But for some reason, the Olympic Committee decided they weren't. So, I mean, it's disgusting. They were shocking. They're giving out the complete one message.
Yeah, I'm sorry. Thank you. That's my enemy. Each governing body of the individual sports.
It's like the hands of this and you decide. What's that? No. That's exactly what they did, isn't it?
I don't remember a... I just want to lift it off a rub off a rub, I think. My favourite talks for headline was... The governing body of tennis, civil and other Russian team tennis is supposed to compete.
That's like... Table tennis is... Table tennis is... Table tennis is...
Table tennis is... It's not a... It's not a... It's such a...
Russia, probably so far down the World Rankings, only Chinese people that ever win table tennis that they would even have lastly there. I was watching some of the swimming last night and there was a swimmer who was favourite to win, a female swimmer from some Soviet country, Communist country, or a common reason which one. And even the commentators were like, well, she's about 15 seconds quicker than she was last year, so she's obviously having something different than a week's of breakfast. And then saying that...
Well, that's what she just did was faster than the men did it, so win the gold last four years ago. This is what we get at. Looking like an incredible... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even when the commentators are going, well, I don't want to say she's on drugs, but I'm going to take the pit anyway. It just makes her faster the whole thing. It's just a... It's a shocking moment.
It did win. She went to heat, but it's the final start, so we'll find out. But the British girl, Smiley, Miley, or whatever it means, I think she's in that race. So that was her later.
But you love the Olympics, don't you, Apple? You love all different sports about football, all that competition, all that fair... Oh, I don't have much Olympic football, it's fucking shocking. No, not the football.
It's still in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't really watch anything on the Olympics.
I watch 100 Meers, and I don't know if other people say you should be watching this, because it's good on my mental set. I can give a fuck and go away. It's not very interesting. It is interesting.
You've become an expert after five minutes and I've been living in the biggest game. Oh, no, that wasn't very good. I think I prefer the intelligence and skill involved in team games as opposed to... I appreciate the sheer power of athletes, but it doesn't impress me.
If you're faster than someone else, I don't get to be wrong. It's application and training all the rest of it as well. If you're faster than you're faster than you're faster than half the time, it's genetics. Half the time it's fucking flunked in genetics if you're Russian.
That's no skill involved, really. That's my very limited view of Olympics and athletes. Yeah, I agree with you to some extent, but then you've got to think, you know, how many billions of people are in this world? And they're literally...
Imagine you could say that I am the fastest... I can literally run the fastest in any other human in the planet at this time. That's quite an amazing feat. How many billions of them have been in this?
Seven billions in a world? Seven in a world? Seven in a world? I don't know, mate.
Anyway, but I do agree with what you mean. There might be genetics or why that, but why do you say, like, a free-to-nature in some of this event? It's almost like a free-to-check, but you have to say that I am the fastest person in our seven billion people that have it as well. Well, that's pretty impressive.
On the Olympics, you know, we've all played hockey. Some of us do a decent standard, some of us do a short-term, but, you know, for a long period of time. Hockey is not a television sport at all. I can enjoy it from a tactical point of view, but it doesn't work on the television.
Am I the only thing that I think of? I think it does, but I've been watching a player in the game for a long time, and you know, you always sort of learn to read where the ball is and things like that. Yeah, so that's really why I do. So you can still sort of watch a game, but you keep up with what's happening.
But I imagine if you've never played a game and not really watched it before, you can go, I can't even see the ball. I don't know what's going on. You know when a ball gets smashed into the day and someone flicks it in and it's in the net? It's a really impressive ball that we all pick up and see.
Great progression. Yeah, because it's a lot of goals. But I guess if you're in layman's, it just doesn't really pick up for the layman. Whereas games like football and rugby, you can get into if you're in layman as well as if you play this walk through the years.
Does that make sense? No, don't. I've heard people down the pub struggle with rugby to be fair. Like, you know, where do they keep passing and all that sort of stuff?
So, yeah. I think, yeah, rugby, especially if you go to watch a live rugby match, you'll see that like I've watched rugby for years on the TV, but I've never really played that match. When I go to watch live rugby matches, I do enjoy it, but I miss so many decisions because you need to know the game to a certain degree or even play it to a certain degree to really follow it. And it's not only me, when I was being sat in rugby crowds, you can tell there's loads of people who just take their selfies and say, I have no idea what's happening on the pitch until someone actually does a break.
It actually breaks a lot. Do you see what I mean? Yeah. I'd like to say I'd better than the majority of rugby crowds, but I could just find in rugby crowds.
You'll notice that there's occasionally when it's scrums happening, there's just a really big lull in the crowd because they're not following it. Yeah. That's no doubt I did that sense. Sorry.
I tried to put the rums on TV let alone when I'm 50 feet away. Oh, well, rugby union scrums is maybe like fucking shocking. Appreciate you've got to make them say. They've changed it a lot.
Yeah. The problem is, is we're going like a really tactical thing. So you may just go and break down. And you know, you get this one up, keep breaking down and you get penalty from it and you keep knocking the score up.
When, you know, back in the old days, you used to have a scrum. I'm trying to get the ball out as quickly as possible. Now they keep it in the scrum. They're going to penalty.
Yeah. Something I'd never seen these days that you saw about 15, 20 years ago, you'd just get, you'd get like Argentinians are amazing at it sometimes. They get, they just go pure power and weight. And I'm not kidding that the scrum goes about 30 meters down the pitch because they just can't stop it.
And you just, you don't get it. Now you're not allowed to. Yeah. Because they'll just stand up and give the penalty.
You'll get the proper scrub. They bring it down. I mean, you look at New Zealand now. They're not the biggest side in the world.
They're still the best, but they're not the biggest power for pound. The biggest side. They're near the book of someone like the Welsh team. The Welsh team.
They're big and bulky. Yeah. All right. Good choice then.
IOC and we've divulged slightly. Miguel. Mine was a little bit as well. And I've totally forgotten it.
Oh, yeah. It was the, how you're not allowed to use certain words in marketing if you're not an official sponsor of. Like you can't use the word win. You can't use the word for.
What? Can't use the word. What? You say anything related to the Olympics.
And it's just mental. It's like that guy in Stratford who had a kabab shop and he opened it up and he called it Olympic kabab. And he had to change it. So all he did was he graphed the line on the sea and made it into an eight.
So it was Olympia kabab. I mean, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
Yeah. You just can't use any sort of marketing anything. But then you've got those advocate side of things when it's like, well, you're going to pay millions of pounds to be the official sponsor of the Olympics. You don't really want every time they can harry something on the bandwagon.
So I can see it, but it's just like me. But they do create ways of doing it. I mean, I've just come back and cricket and I need to eat quickly. So I've passed the KFC and I've got the drive through and I can have a Rio chicken bite because they haven't obviously been a special class moved sponsor.
It's McDonald's or baking weather. They have Rio chicken bites. I think it tastes like Rio. It's fine.
It's a good view. Is that again, enemy of the podcast be in the IOC? Be sure you know the ones that enforce that. Let's call it official sponsorship.
Okay. Because they know it's a good one. What's your. Just because we like a bit of cycling on this podcast, apart from Apple.
I want to say the course design group, the road race course for the men's road race yesterday. I think they. I messed it up a bit. Well, no, I mean, it's had drama, but they what they did is they made it slightly too difficult for all of the athletes, which it should be.
Right. I can see what you're saying. Robot wars at the end. Everyone was on the fucking asses.
Great. It was. But they were like, what are the three guys that got to the end was didn't have any energy. Just was like, fuck it.
I'll take the problems. I cannot even contest this. Yeah. Right.
Yeah. Okay. And they've done that stupid descent, but you could see all the leaves and the water on the course because it was underneath a canopy and it was slippery and getting from a side of the part of the leaves of the gutter because he went off and it was the third time they've done it. And I guess sort of.
This is when Phil's descending. He's a fucking worse and he gets overtaken. I did the right, I did the right in the door to it. Did I make it?
I did the other day. Yeah, but yeah, I just think that they could have just turned it down. And it would have been a real decent, like, maybe a group finish and things like that and exciting. But all it was, it was really strong out when half of people crashed because the course would be hard and.
I disagree. It was very exciting. But you had two people cross the line. It's like they're all free of them.
It's the Olympics with freedom. They're going to get a medal. It was just like, wouldn't it be better to see 10 people at the line contesting it and have a sprint finish kind of thing, but I don't know. I thought it was just very exciting.
They sort of generically considered the most exciting side of finish. Yeah. And you get lots of sprint fellows in Grand Tours and stuff like that where you've got loads of Domestiques helping out this British to get it. Where this was literally just a one off road event quite long quite tricky quite dangerous and it was last man standing Or last man on his saddle and I thought that was it was lucky and that's what he looks I mean you look at the fucking winter Olympics and the door in the speed skating It's just the luckiest fucking stand on his feet the longest Just close days And that's what he wants to see in Olympics Apple's been a lot of fun If it's a technical thing Apple's been like what the fuck?
Apple's is the layman in this regard Is the Ray Winston? No, they're like World Championships They're like it's best that bad Well, the World Championships were like a bit Kowski or whatever the other guy was going on That was a lot more exciting Because he was up against that German guy whose name I forget now and they duked it out for like the whole race And they still had a lot of energy at the end That was more exciting racing than that one Just because everybody crashed and you were like well You know, six people at the end and now three people at the end, you know, he's gonna get the medals Do you know what I mean? Fair enough, fair enough Cool, right? So the nominations are Pokemon The IOC is a hole The guy's only votes Pokemon gets in His Jonesy's not allowed to vote for it The people who designed the cycling course Nick, how many of you are the author of that?
Oh, yeah Marked in the media Okay, fair enough So how many votes are Pokemon? Mm, two One, nope, whack How many votes are the IOC for allowing for allowing Russia in? I Right Okay, so Apple's got a vote left Who votes for the guy who arranged the race The cycling race? No Who votes for the branding of the Olympics?
I How dare they change the kebab shot name? I don't know So we have a two-way tie Between the IOC as a whole and the kebab shot Which is the change you say Do you want to do a second vote like the Labour election? Yeah, it's been the last two Yeah, it's been the last two Is anyone going to change their vote? Oh yeah Oh yeah Right, Tom, I'll change my vote Oh no, I'll change my vote I'll change my vote Wait for Tom, he's a pick, like if he's listening to this in Cuba He should take a second and vote Yeah I'll change my vote to the road race Alright, okay, so the IOC as a whole Is the enemy of the week podcast That's it Fuck you very much, I hope so Usually there's a super-penis, a super-penis, a super-penis A super-penis, a super-penis, a super-penis A super-penis, a super-penis, a super-penis A super-penis, a super-penis A super-penis Alright That moves us on to our own topics So who am I left in search of?
Apple's X Do you want to let me set topic? I've got one off the go Alright, I asked my wife just before I came up I was like, give me a topic, I forgot I haven't done any research And she just showed me an article where a man Has died his dog The resentful of Pikachu So he's a brubbing little Maybe it's a pecanis, maybe I don't know, he's a poo-le-type dog We've logged here and he's dyed it So it's yellow with like two red cheeks And they are the same That's really cool, that's really cool Do you guys think that it is animal cruelty? No Cruelty Yeah I want to take the cruelty It's dogs love attention And if it's spent that time having just like a manicure and stuff like that And it's not affecting his foot They don't particularly care what they look like That's what I said Oh hey you want to agree with me That's a discussion topic topic I was just going to say I was like Oh it's really cool And I was like, oh no, they thought we had nature fun doing it I doesn't know that it's right fucking yeah Thank you for that I would say I would never do it to Michael I had a dog Not a Pikachu in my head, Phil Maybe a chum-man Yeah Pause the dogs or every time Yeah, I just All right, my topic was shit because you all agreed with me So, well, I think we all agree So, there's no discussion But yeah That's a topic, Phil I'll try to find All right, actually, well what I was going to say When someone disagreed with me But I did Right, okay, so do my left-in-serte topic Miguel Do my left-in-serte topic Apple Do my left-in-serte topic Sorry Apple, go on Yeah, so, right Mine is an interesting one And my interest is me Heat, well Let's just read 50 or not Yeah, exactly, that's a say Conspiracy theory So, okay, I've always been one That's Jesus's love really But I've always been one where Don't get me wrong A lot of them are whole shit Let's be fair, a lot of them are crap But So I went on the snag doing cologne And the guy, one of my old schoolmates Mate, Skokol Jack Very intelligent bloke Some of the lot of drugs We've explained this But he's like super I mean, he really Is very passionate about Conspiracy theories And he adamantly believes Well, adamantly believes in a lot of it About suppression of true knowledge And all the rest of it So like, little things like The wellbeing flap That makes them really silly If you actually look it up There's a lot of compelling arguments That actually, there is Have you actually read it though? Have I read it before?
No, no, no, no But it's funny how Because of the way we are relying on Only one or two sources of info To confirm it It can be controlled So the thing is, I suppose I'm getting that with this The reason Yeah, I think you're getting that How much of it do you think Is, like, do you think, genuinely, All of it's nonsense Are you, do you honestly think a lot of it's nonsense? Like, you get this stuff about the rough child Yeah, so the rough child Are the people that own the central banks Yeah, 13 families Yeah, you know, like, so They were saying, you know, again, another one is You know, there was only, I think There was four central banks in the world That weren't owned by the rough child And that was Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and North Korea Obviously, Afghanistan and Iraq Now, mysteriously owned by the rough child And only Iran and North Korea were left And so this, you know, how much of it Is to support these huge I don't want to say a couple of it Michael, will not know that shit But how much of it is honest, again, this gun thing Is interesting, because it's common sense to me If you allow American guns, more people are going to get shot It's a second amendment, you cannot change the second amendment It's a very, we all conspiracy theory going about But America is only one that, because so many people aren't If there was an uprising against this I don't know, this super thing that controlled all information Who's the true threat, who can really actually stand against someone like that Instead of arguing America can, because they've got the people we guns who could And that's why they want to take gun control away Like, I know, don't get me wrong I'm not saying I believe in a lot of this It's interesting, it makes you think, I think, like, you know, I think we're all smart enough to know Let's be honest, not everything we're told is the truth, let's be fair It can't be, can it? The truth is out there The truth is out there The truth, yeah, which is out of it So, yeah, what do people think about that? Do you think you're still just completing Tim Faux-Hant-Nonsense?
Or do you think there's some truth to some of the stories? Do you think it's just people within and too much famine to hands? Honestly All of the above A little bit, no, I don't think people And if you look at examples through the last 20 years I think we give governments and institutions Too much credit for how organized they are I don't believe they're organized at all I think they fucking bumble through Like everybody else with self-preservation You look at Iraq and the Chalkaw inquiry And all that stuff about Bled in a walk room and all the terrorists and stuff No, you just got it fucking wrong You thought there was WMD in there, they didn't turn out to be here The, uh, did I say, last time I was on the podcast I was at some do with George Brantro for doing a talk And we did a book on the Queen following the Queen around And they went into the Bank of England To their personal offices, the Queen and the Princess Uh, Prince Vénebél, what's he there? Duke Vélbélél, and stuff And they were going around Mervin King was showing around all the offices And all these plush, like, Central London place All this, you know, high tech kind of stuff And it was about 2009 And they've been showing around for about two hours And just as, uh, she shows like, Duke Vébélébélé's the car And just as Mervin King goes, oh, by the way, uh, tell me, how many people work here And Mervin King was like 327 And she just went, oh, and none of them, and none of them saw it coming, did they?
Goodbye! It's into the car, I don't think So there's one who's seen, you know, the Queen sees everything that was going on And she's seen it for a long time And she's bright as a button, you know, she knows what the fuck's going on And I just think we're more... I think these conspiracy theories give the governments and the institutes of this world Too much fucking credit for what is actually going on Because they're just bumbling their way through, like, the rest of us are in fucking life You look at when you get these people in the parliament, she's like, he's like The guy from Sports Direct, all that dude who's looking to lose his bhs, you know, bhs And that terrible bh, he's done with the pension plan Yeah, not fucking clue, what's going on? And all the politicians are like, all have swooned with him, blazed swooned with him for years and years, and he ain't got fucking...
He ain't got a scooted day That's my opinion I agree, actually, Genz, it's one of the most stupid things you've said about... I've talked about it, I appreciate it Thank you very much Now, in valeday, that shows his whole fingers feel agreed with it So I've been agreed with people as stupid things This is so... Genuinely, sort of our banking system and everything, our fiscal monetary policy And all these things have made up of so many variables But all these conspiracy theories that say... That say, you know, oh, this happened, and then this happened, and this happened, These three events caused this absolute event, like no, that's such a bullshit, there's just hundreds of variables That you...
I don't know, I reckon more than conspiracy theories, you've probably got things like chaos theories, Do you remember that from my traffic file? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Things will happen, and you can't govern it, and like, people do their best But actually, Genz is right, they're probably just bumbling through and controlling it as best they can, but you can't always change the variable I just... The one I do believe in at the moment, and I think he's been played out with Brexit and with the US elections Have you seen the last series of House of Cards? No, but it's...
It's in regards to like, social media, and this is really... It's tin hat, as Apple's would say Before, politicians or the elite class have not had access to what's spoken about or how it's spoken about In the working classes, or in blue-collar America, you know, in social clubs and stuff like that I mean, people don't go out as much as they used to because of social media and internet, that's why crime's down massively over the Western world But what they do have is access to everything which is spoken about in social media So to the majority of the electorate, which is the working class will be in the color of Americans They now have got access to their lingo, to the languages, the language they use And the sentiments that they use, and that's why Donald Trump's getting so attraction, because you don't have any policies It just says the words that they're saying, like, let's make this great again, this is fantastic, let's get rid of these Mexicans, this build a wall All that kind of horrible stuff which is spoken about on social media and shouldn't really be discussed at all Is now the people, the high spitter being the billionaire Donald Trump has probably brought that information off a hacker or something Or Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and all that social media shit And he's manipulating the data, basically, you know, the most words used to try and latch onto the electorate You know you talk about hackers, everybody doesn't even need that, so we've just got a system that we're installing at the moment And it's called HPXplore, and it's like a speech analytics, but it does everything And even off that, I can scan Facebook, Twitter for keywords, pensions or pension reforms And I can find out if people use this word and they have a positive response to it or negative response to it Like, I can do that off of a system I've got in my work, so they've got more power for shit And I have, it's not my fault, it's not my fault, it's not my fault, it's not my fault It's done for the right reasons, so in my case, it's for customer service, in other cases it'll be marketed in the media As you say, if it's safe for Donald Trump to abuse Yeah, it could be, yeah, I've backed out that it isn't, it would make sense in all honesty Why wouldn't you take any phone and use that? Because it's gonna be around now, isn't it? So yeah, I'll see you man Phil, sorry, I'll cut you off already Actually, James, you reminded me of the only conspiracy theory, and it's not even a conspiracy theory But like the closest I can think onto a conspiracy theory that I've been thinking about it is just that, you know, all this ISIS stuff and anti-Muslim and Donald Trump's rise to power With the right wing politics and stuff like that I always just think, to me, it always seems like there's someone pulling the strings to benefit from all of it I use to find weapons, oil, things like that But it's someone that we don't, you know what I mean?
I feel like it's organizations and people that we don't see, and so can we do a lot of it I feel like Trump, people like Trump and ISIS are puppets for all of them that need a big industry that make money out of war and things like that And actually, I listened to a really good, you guys heard Ted talks, they're podcasts as well Yeah, I looked at them, more podcasts, they've always seen the YouTube channel and stuff like that Oh, no, they're already always really good, yeah, a little bit They were one about this lady who was talking about, I can't remember a name now, sorry She talked about guns in Africa and AK-47s of the distribution of AK-47s and just how, you know, people say, oh, there's lots of people get shot guns Put more guns into the region so that the people please get out of guns so they can stop with people with guns And then they're like, and she's like the only person that's benefiting from all of that is the gun companies And all these people want more people to die in these and she had to take back about, you know, the top 10 gun makers in the world are the top 10 richest companies Whereas countries and then the most amount of guns per person in the countries are like the 20 least Well of countries in the world and stuff like that. It's just pretty amazing facts And then I just you know, just feel like we're being controlled by Big corporations and actually if we all collectively decided to put stop to all this perhaps we could you know, I mean But if people that were in the charge of the opportunity from all this collectively decided actually know We've had a change of heart. We don't want people dying because of our products and they could probably stop it No, I know Another good example of that always like look at the cannabis things coming back up now Isn't it as these files are becoming released now? They say cannabis is actually still and they're definitely still one of the best cancer drugs out there but like the pharmaceutical companies are kind of hiding all Like so much of the evidence.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you know, it doesn't all the vaccines and all the drugs they produce and all the controls They do to try and not cure cancer. Just maintain it. Let's be honest like we're the same like, you know, there's a lot of stuff I can like you see some other work out what's true and what's not but like there's a lot of stuff where you can like there was a proper I think the US government spent something ridiculous like two main it was a dutch It was a big university in Holland Which apparently was the best at the time and one of the big american ones And they did joint venture into cannabis and how it can cure cancer Like they said like they should put all their money into it and make it rubbish to it and like locked up all the Evidence, but it's come back out now because you know it gets unlocked after how many years isn't it?
So it's coming to light and stuff now and it's getting a bit attraction, but you know I think we've kind of it I've got a speaker so it doesn't make it. I think it's making much of a unique It Like alcohol it does it is my altering to a certain extent and you know you can't what you like a large portion of the country just walking around Stone Driving and things like that probably would be like Would it be great? Alcohol it's like you talk about it's like calling alcohol all the same thing You know there's different there's a strength different no no but all alcohol is not the same you drink a pint of absence or a pint of calming It's too different That's the same with kind of it you know there's different c hc levels they're different kind of of wheat which do different categories One's quite a you know like a skunk and a heavy thing and one's kind of more than mellow thing Which is used for which has been used in america quite a lot as a natural drug Okay You know that kind of stuff but what if it's the stronger ones that your the cancer maybe We don't know but if you if you actually legalized it and make the lighter stuff become more available I think more people smoke that than the really strong heavy skunk stuff I don't know you know to call I hate the way drugs get named under the same area You know if someone smokes weed to someone's smoke you know insert fucking heroin into the fucking eyeballs There's a big world of fucking difference you know I mean I think people genuinely believe that they think do they? Well yeah a lot of these people vote for Donald Trump and vote for Brexit The baby who ever knows who ever knows any access to it over the years Oh what I'm forgetting it's fine As Jonesy's uh Much immediate relations I'd like to say that uh Jonesy knows a lot about this subject and cannabis through extensive research and uh Not um not any actual you know self research I just want to say that because you know Seems to know a lot I think you've just made me cut five seconds at the podcast Bobbodow, Bobbodow Just because you're taking mind altering things doesn't mean that you're going to suddenly jump into a car because it seems like a good idea It's just certain minorities that decide to put themselves in dangerous situations when they're suddenly you know not of Compassenters but yeah, um you don't have to put yourself in danger just because you're on drugs I am I'm not I think people will Yeah They're quite very into films The world is made up of cocks Our souls and pussies And pussies They don't like dicks because they give fuck my dicks We should watch that film whenever that is Pro-paint Yeah Team America Yeah We can Revenice about apples not no one time's been Painting I told you Not a painting Yes That's college That's the college If you're just getting a joke Right Oh why is there nothing like that?
I don't know College And they're like did a montage of doing a college It's like no Okay It's funny It's fun I had a head of my time Hey, head of my time I'm not be shaded It's a college You do this is some type of it Okay It's a gift I got this No It's a lot of frisk I don't know what else is that Why would you want to bring it home? Like by the time you got to go to the pastor and fall it off and was in the bottom of your bag I did it I did it It's a back piece of paper with blue white It's like in the way to his country One of the way to his country is in the world They decided to make kids to pay for mache They decided to go home it's mush I made this moment Hold on It's bad Anyway So that was Who's talking about those apples and conspiracy theories Is it time why we're still with apples to go over to a pre-season Chelsea corner Getting your corner you mug Get it done Get it done You bastard You bastard Yeah, Chelsea corners Okay, I think I wouldn't say good We've got a solid pre-season We had a lot of players like back from various different you know outings But no it seems to slowly come together We've had a couple of good wins Yeah, I'm confident I don't think we're going to be challenging for the title But I think we've got the right person in charge We're still short a couple of signings If I'm honest But the money Right there Sing them Where are these signings? It's got a right You've got a fan of it Is your own right back And you've learned about the Robin Which I don't think we understand Because I don't think we're going to be the only other right back Is it? I thought it's because he's got Someone coming in But then it kind of went on hold So I really don't know You've just decided Yeah But Luchy You don't like back He's just said back Yeah Sent it right But I still wonder if he's not going to play that way But remember Dave Cesar, I spelled it with a five He could play it He is actually a right back He just plays left back Yeah, since That's the goal of it So who's your other left back?
Uh That's a right fucker No, no, no It's not Who is it? I don't even know Fuck me Yes, see I checked Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait I was talking to someone at work I was going to have a conversation with someone at work And I checked on the BBC Like squad list And you don't really have any You don't really have a part mass with a quarter of an advantage You don't have any other full part? No But I was just saying Very Chelsea's defence Which has always been Quite solid and contagious Depends of coaches Which you have such a lack of defensive cover That you've let bubble ramen He's quite a promising young defender Go out and make But you've looked at me That's why I still think we've got a couple of signings And I'm just going to be worried that You know, there's only a week to go now And it's Well, I said it's a week to go to start the season It's still hard to make some people to end of End of the summer as well And there's all this nonsense about Lukaku still Fucking 70 odd million for Lukaku really I'd rather not But it's good Especially when you've got Batchu-e and Of course, yeah Oh, and you're always been amazing And as a city fan, I'll have to say thank you for the Yes Business is just up there Yeah, me and C You made the last signings actually So we basically we've signed the show It's part of Chelsea Corner So I can talk about it Thank you Thank you What's his name? Triple?
Triple? Triple? No, no, we've signed a Chelsea forward It's called Tani Tani Aver Sorry, Tani, I'm picking up Anyway, he's called it It's awesome Yeah, he's He's called it in absolute shit No, he goes to Chelsea Reserves around it By the ones in last season And so he's got him in a season He's in a late with no record But he's been given another nine chance So, yeah Mm-hmm So much essential Yeah But we've got Trey away coming through Who played a quite bit towards the end of last season But he's called like Three times in front of Italy So, again, they're looking good to try Because I think it's right I still think cost them once go But yeah, anyway Yeah, so who knows? I'm good Although, interesting question This is for all of you guys So, we've got Kante from Leicester Twenty-five, thirty million Which I know it's still a lot But the type of play is I mean, that's phenomenal If you're talking what?
Man, you know, literally They're just about to wipe up But now, aren't they? Finally, he's got medical, I think So that's going to be nine to your million Like, what? Generally, why would you leave Leicester? Chelsea?
So you're in Champions League Shoulders it just speak? Maybe Leicester are literally a one and done And that's it? Well, the money's not much No, no, no, no You say that I thought this Leicester could have offered Leicester would have offered him exactly the same They would have offered him exactly the same It's got nothing left Yeah, they've got a lot of money Seriously, it's not money Crazy, isn't it? So in my head, I'm like The only thing I can think of Is that you think, you know, Chelsea were big We are big I still think we are I think we're We've had a blip I think we'll be back up there But why would you leave the Champions and playing in Champions League?
Because it goes to a club that's not Seems really risky almost Where do you think Chelsea? Sorry, Leicester will finish this season Honestly? Cup heart But I don't think that finishing is up to it Seven Yeah, I'd have to say I'd have to go that field offing six I just think People have sussed them now I know Towards it You've got to realise Like, people sussed They've stressed a lot towards the end of last season And they ground out a lot of one-year wins And they defence carried them over the end Really, very similar to Chelsea the year before Where an awesome start to the season And in our defence carried us over the end And that's what happened to Leicester So I think it less they dramatically changed the way they play Or get some serious new signings Which they haven't They've got no new players None of them, none of them, none of them Yeah, I think they're in trouble No, no, not trouble Sorry, you know, I mean As in trouble winning the title No way I'm a field I'm a field Maybe if they're lucky Cool I would say that they've decided to defend it Another French defensive midfielder And they can say He looks fucking decent I can't remember his name Actually, can't take it out That guy in This guy is effectively still the same as it was about to be Because they haven't lost marries, they haven't lost Marley But they haven't lost drink water So it's like I was good They still have to be strong And they've actually got to be on play So I could be wrong with what I just said But I don't know Sorry, I'm sorry Jamesy, as leader of the podcast It's been quite sport heavy It has Yeah, it has been very sporty Yeah, it has been sporty I think it's a hell of a bit It's a hell of a bit to help an instrument out of it I don't know Should we talk about babies and fluffy bunnies and puppies For our lady peoples? No, I was going to say Apple's got any funny stories That's happened to them this week Wow, I'm quite worthy Okay, funny stories Not really Oh, I think it's got funny stories Are you aware of any story?
No No, okay What's going on? We're skittin' ever Meet me again, do the London bike ride on Sunday That was quite funny That was it I had a decade I saw there was lots of photos of you outside of McDonald's By a big part of big bags That's what I was about Yeah, we stopped talking about it It was a little bit of mackeadees Oh no, there was actually another one at the one time Which showed me something on Facebook Was Joe ripping the piss out of Jonesy And he's fat barely sticking out on the bike That was brilliant So, do you be taking the footage down? I can't find it on your favourite No, he's not on Facebook, he's on Instagram It's Instagramming Ah, right, it's just on It's the only time which it's actually gone You need to see me on Instagram Am I supposed to? I'm pretty sure I don't You're on the see this Well, it was self-deprecating I put it up myself Because I thought it was funny But yeah, no, it's a bit of a pop belly It's a bit of a bit of a good You look really pissed off I think it's just your resting face Yeah, that's what You know where we're taking the piss That you moan when you get tired on the bike ride I think Nick will testify That I don't moan when I'm getting tired on the bike ride It's the only time I'm actually quiet To do that It's just shut up Are you ready?
Yeah So this is where I get bad press I don't mind on the bike ride either apparently I just thrown the bike into the food What's up? I do moan And I think I did wind up making get on our ride And thought it was a week But I just found it difficult But I felt like I needed to keep telling them I'm not a jealous summer going with you I bet you can have an awesome time And I'm Papa jealous What about a bike ride in Portugal? Yeah, you'll have an awesome time You'll have an awesome time I can't wait We go The route started finally And yeah, should we get it? Yeah, yeah It's our work though Fucking some of the cycling We've got some proper climbs to do But now it's with us When did they turn three in the last day?
You're going to be the hardest I'll be two three in the last day Oh and listen, Nick is going to be doing an Everest challenge At the end of the day So do you want to tell us what challenge are you doing? Yeah, so it's getting on a bike And going up a hill 12 times to the equivalent height of Everest So I've done it, I've done it down So many times Because I'm an idiot No So you're going to climb the descent How many k-timers is it? It's just punchy and sleep So it's not too much Yeah, I know about how far up Is it like 8k up or what? You're doing 12k or something It's climbing in one day I don't know, it isn't actually Well, how tall is Everest?
Everest is like between eight and nine kilometers high Okay, yeah And to each lap Because it counts any ascent you do On the way down So it's four up and two down So it's 600 meters for every lap Yeah, so it's pretty much To put it in perspective Like the tour of Abba Over the whole two days We literally climbed what? 4k And that's going over You know, about 3k, yeah It's about 3k, so you're going to do like Four times at that Or three times at that In one day That's fucking pretty hard work Third play But apparently, do you see it's up? Yeah, there's a public top in that family pass at the bottom Yeah, so tell me, you're going to help you out Get to the top and then stay there And what do you go up and down? You see it, yep And what have we seen?
That's what we missed, what were you paying attention? Apparently there was a horror crash In the women's road race Just a minute ago That's the same minute an hour ago, whatever Cyclist, Ammonic, Van Fluten, and stuff Was horror crash in women's road race? The duchy's were actually Pits and words to be really What I said, I reckon Is it on BBC Sport, the crash? No, it's on YouTube though Send us the link, come with the link She flips and smashes ahead Send us the link, you're already On the sky thing Oh, it looks like it I've just put it in the chat You've got to check that out, damn Damn, you've got to have a merry go Come with fire Thank you, no Oh, I got to take a hug We'll have a go Oh, oh she's descended Oh, oh shit, that's nasty Fucking hell That's the good thing we just got to have a time I've been sending up in, I think Is it?
Yeah, looks very similar Oh, maybe we should revisit my Anyway, maybe we should Maybe we should, maybe Right Anyway, let's move things on It's time for Big fails, big question Big fails, big question This week is related to Friend of the podcast Hugh Lee This week's Big fails, big question Is a special tribute to Hugh Lee I'm Hugh Lee, friend of the podcast Me and me and Jen went round his new pad in Clapham Is it Clapham Common, I can ever remember the right one Clapham Common Yeah, Clapham Common He's done it all up, and it looks pretty plush and pretty lovely But he had a gift from his grandmother Was his grandmother or was Mrs. grandmother? Mrs. grandmother.
Okay, as I'm moving in present, of a 220 pound bin, which is fucking nuts, then someone would spend that much money on the bin. My big, big, big question to Phil is, have you ever been brought a present, which you thought, oh, they really think that's a little bit over the top. Are you into something, Ken? Just for the record?
No, no, I don't. It'll be funny. I didn't really like it. Leanne's grand has been really generous with us a few times.
She bought us a 700 pounds top of the range washing machine. So you go to a brand called Grenge. Oh, gosh. Yeah, she was like, physically, just like elderly and stuff.
They have a man for everything. Oh, we have a man that supplies our washing machines and a man that does that. And obviously this guy knows that they have a little bit of money to spend. And anyway, we want the washing machine.
We want the best one possible for our grand daughter. And they ended up spending 700 pounds. Like I would never spend that much money on washing machine. I'm going to spend my clothes on round two years.
I'm going to spend my clothes on round two at a 700 pound washing machine. It's really good. It's like literally, basically it's really big and it can do like a 13 minute wash which cleans as well as any washing machine I've ever had before. It's just basically.
It's just a big thing. I just quit. I expect it to all be an auto-bot and transform. Do I have to bring your clothes together?
Yeah, I have to. Hang on. Hang on. Do you want to do an either?
I don't know. I've had a few things. We had a bit of help with how it's supposed to be, which are always things, you know, and helpful. Amazingly generous as well.
That's good. Yeah, we were quite lucky with that as well. Leanne's family is being very generous as well. So for Phil's family to listen in, pick your game up.
You're tired. I'm tired of that. I'm tired of that. Very generous for us.
When I'm out of my rent myself, we're four years of uni. You could do one any work. So the Bites of the Podcast goes to Raffles, Porter. Sorry for that.
Big Phil's been questioning. Actually, I just said that. Yeah. Yeah.
It was a bike. The only time me got me to bike was over it last weekend was by comparing Pokémon go to cricket. go to cricket. I was like, oh yeah.
Got a catch of them all. I've got two today. Oh, big. Right, me, because usually, and Mignon Tom, or the aggressive banter is normally dished out by Apple's Jonesy and me, whereas Mignon Tom, they're a bit technical and they don't really receive too much flag.
Whereas, so I commented on one of John's pictures, post your wedding, where he was sort of saying, oh, I want a bit of a massive wedding come down and post your wedding. And I wrote, oh yeah, mate, you can totally relate to that. I mean, right. Oh, wedding bands.
I was a bit sickly a big. Both of his mates that have just been in bed, which made it best man. And I was like, I would, I remember the time being, he doesn't get a bit out of character for me. He's been a bit, I think, just dishing it out a bit.
I completely sided with me to be fair. That's some kind of fucking pussy ass fucking winch. I'm a wreck. Oh, I've got the wedding blues.
Get the horse and marry again, sort it out. That's why I'm the apple for today, if you spend attention. Miguel, two of my left is here, top it. Again, Olympics related.
When it was around at London 2012, did you apply for any tickets? And if so, what did you apply for? Hockey, beach volleyball. Did you get any of it?
No. Yeah. Yeah. And if I'm going to do it.
Anyway, I didn't. I genuinely am cussed. I didn't actually like, I was a bit kind of, I don't know. I was making a big fuss out here.
I thought it was going to be a bit of a nightmare, trying to get anywhere. Yeah, do you know what? Genuinely, I really wish I had. I didn't, I didn't.
And it's a bit of shame, really. I feel like I've missed something now. Do you know what I mean? Like, not going to come down for what?
About 40, 50 years? How old am I going to be then? Yeah, I don't know. It's a shame.
It's a real shame. Interrupt the podcast to commend your girlfriend, Nick, his text, and what's that group saying that Donald, too, is not going to be on film at the moment. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so this one's up.
LAUGHTER No, so what? Have you got a point to this, Emi? What are you trying to get at? No, you just sort of wondering.
Because like, for me, at the time, I thought London's going to come to a standstill. This is going to be a little bollocks. So I decided to take off a holiday. And I did a job that I went to Spain, had a great time.
But then when I came back, everyone was almost euphoric about it. Everyone was really excited and saying, oh, shit. Again, I feel like I've kind of missed out on something. I actually had tickets to the volleyball beach, probably, and something else, kind of all.
But I couldn't go. Because I had to go to a wedding or something. But yeah, it was weird. Like, I was just cynical about it.
I thought I was going to fuck it up. It was going to be shit. But actually, it was really good. It was kind of what Apple was just saying.
I feel like I missed out. And I feel the same. OK, I'm going to miss out, too. I spent the first week of the Olympics in New Zealand.
And all they showed was New Zealand rowers losing. And I spent the second week of it in Singapore watching Singapore in table tennis players become 60th in the competition. So I was reading on BBC and stuff. And every week I went to, and I'm like, please show us some footage, which is what's the GPT.
And it was quite funny, because it must mean that every country around the world has got a camera pointed at their own athletes. And that's the feed that they get back in their country. So like, Singapore. I think we're tennis, I think we're tennis.