We live live live. No, we're not live. I've ever started yet. And it's coming live.
Being like me. Apple's is literally coming live into his only on the audio. Where are you coming live from? You don't want to know.
You're a garden shed. I've never gotten shed. That's even more. He just stood in the garden.
Check again. He got like a, he put down the foundations for a garden shed. You stood on that. Maybe.
It's the worst car we've ever ever. Apple's come to try to build you a shed. Then why can't you let it fix off? I'll kill you in about three weeks.
It's right now. It's a break. You can't just stop and leave me. I'm a singer in a band.
But I like drummers, baby. You're not my bag. Hello, podcats. And welcome to my left insert topic season three.
This is episode 22. And I don't know about you, but the two my left is a definitely feeling 22. It's the same old, occasionally profound and always profane. One hour plus of nonsensical chat between five guys, not that one.
As when the Anda threw our 30s trying desperately to sort out live sport politics. And when his porters head to get bloody Wi-Fi, so Phil can join the podcast. There's only so long a man can do without porn, until he looks across the room at those big delt in eyes looking at him. Just wanting to walk.
Anyway, we digress. I thought we'd cut him for season three. I thought he, I thought we were to streamline the book. I don't know.
I'll try negotiations. I'm going at the moment. He wanted a free transfer to Pappy's Slam House party, but they wouldn't have him. I thought we were going to do it like Game of Thrones, which is replacing with someone completely different.
They're not mentioning it. That'd be great. All right. Then we'll be opening the auditions, email the show.
We're on email these days. Right. Anyway, so I've been watching a lot of John Robins and Ellie's James podcast on the road last week. So all main shows are Robin Eske.
Okay. Robin's Eske. So firstly, to my left is Galithia's 17th most eligible bachelor autumn 2017. It's Miguel.
Fucking yes! 17. 17. Secondly to my left.
Number. How are you Miguel? You're well. Just about.
It'll probably cut out. So pass to someone else. Okay. Right.
So secondly to my left is World of Warcraft's biggest stud ever. Has he seen at least five different women naked in real life? It's apples. How well, people?
I thought you were going to say he's seen at least five breasts. Thanks for wishing. Five. What's the film?
Two measurements. And last but in no way, least thirdly to my left is a man who's watched 10 different sports this year. Less said about the water sports the better. It's Tommy.
Yeah. I've only done nine. I still have only done eight. Two more to do before new year.
So if you well, though, pal. Yeah, pretty good. I've been doing a Bantar press-ups and good chat curls and squats and stuff in preparation for the new season. Can you do a Bantar press live on the podcast?
No. Good bad. Good bad. Yeah.
That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.
That's good. That's good. Tommy. So what are we drinking?
You got to choose someone. Ah. Yeah. Yeah.
But that long pause is now renowned. This podcast. You guys, tell me what you're drinking today, pal. Well, I'm drinking.
I signed up to these Ponzi Real Ale delivery services. Yeah. You heard about this? And you get the first case, quite cheap.
So I'm just going to sign up to those. This is from that. And it's a sour. Have you ever had a sour?
It's not a great name for something. No. It's really sour. It's clean refreshing in distinct things.
And I think it's the main word there. That's exactly what it says on the two. It's like you called you be a pungent. It would be like, no, it's a bit pungent.
It is pungent. They should have called it pungent. It's from Croatia. It's from Croatia.
Oh, we were chatting about that before. That's just that. We were at the core. Croatia.
It's just that forgotten state of Russia. Anyway. Anyway, I'm going to pay to hear the preamble. Yeah, for £10 for the next year.
You get actually an edited version of it. You'll be surprised, but there is an actual edited version of this podcast. It's just like a blackmailer, like, you just go away. Come out with all the obscene things we've said off the unedited.
I'm waiting to Miguel. Yeah. Miguel becomes a politician of Catalonia or something like that. Or somewhere like that.
Or somewhere. One of them. One of them. Did I say that?
Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Or something like that. I'm telling you or something like that.
I'm telling you or something like that. They're all the same. Too much time with apples, right? Anyway, talking about what you're drinking, mate?
Classily, do you're eliminating a pint glass? Hey, hey, hey. Just keep running downstairs. Any ice or lemon?
So literally, just go to the top. I've just moved out. I've just moved out. I've just moved out.
I've skipped that. Genji, have you listened to the latest quickly, Kevin? No, I haven't yet. Have a heart.
It's quite a good bit where they talk about ITV coverage of World Cup Night 4 and they cut away to an outbreak, but you can still hear someone. No, I haven't. Have you heard that one? Murray just goes, I'm not just an issue.
Send the sebum off. Sebum. Sebum. Everything's in the house.
That's not what they said. It's in the house. Ah. The cupcake.
Let's try and make Tommy say good for him. Tommy, I will give you five English pounds if you shall cut really, really loud now. Yeah, I don't want it. Tommy, I will give you six English pounds if you shall cut really, really loud.
How are you going to go with this? Time to say Genji's nephew when I was raised, doesn't pay his debts. Like, I'm asking him to say that. I'm not that opposite to a lattice, trust me.
Miguel, what are you drinking, mate? Such as a you drinking pure gold, so you can be a bit like Chime in Lannister. Like, does he make cake gold? He always pays the debts.
Yeah. Tommy, seven pounds to shut the seaward very loud in your house at the moment. Nope. I will give you 27 pounds to say Emily, I love your sea.
Sebum. Sebum. Sebum. Sebum.
How loud? I will give 20 pounds to children in need if you shall. Kind of really loud in your flat. No, I'm just saying that's right.
You're so big. Tommy doesn't get anything out of that. That sounds rubbish. I can tell they're in need.
21 pound. It's not the worst auction ever. Can I just tell them what I'm going to do before I'm going? No, no, no, no, that's not allowed.
Children? Children. Okay. All right.
Miguel, what are you drinking, mate? It's just the fact that every time I drink in the sangria is nice. It's very nice. Which part of this making?
From Catalonia or something like that. Two shirts. So, Miguel, what's you drinking? You can hear half of it.
Name. And what's she's drinking? Yes. Yeah, Emily.
Inking. Can you hear that? No. Horrible rosé.
That's just about another glass. So you bought a beer called Salah and she's bought a rosé called horrible? That's the name. Oh, okay.
Not at all the boys at the moment. That's until me. Yes. If you can see Jonesy's face, it is a tree.
Describe it to me. And benefit of all the kids. It is a mixture of anger. Anger.
And I was a thank you. A mixture of anger. It's a new word, anger and disappointment. And what else was another?
Constipation. Constipation. Yeah, definitely a bit of constipation in there. Say no, wait, okay, wait for me.
How was that? Was it good on the Saturday night stuff or sort of videos? Yeah, it was good. I can't even remember what.
We had the stents or so. We actually had a proper night on the Friday, which can be a bit of a rare. Pretty. Jonesy, did you go to bed early?
No, I'd say that. Oh, you did. You left. Oh, yeah, you left.
I let me see. Yeah. Was it? Was it the final night when you sent that picture, going, where is everybody?
Are you in the pier, Tommy? Did I face the front? Rob? Do you have any of your serious?
The front side, chat. This is about to be read a picture. You'd like taking a picture down the pier. Go like, where are you?
We left. So on Friday night, me and Charlie were in the pier. And we left because we've been there a while and no one come in. So we left.
And as we went out, I was like, I'm going to get a stamp, because I know I have a chances I wouldn't be black. I got a stamp. Literally as we got out the door, Meg, Jonesy, everyone was there. Just coming in.
And so I turned around, went back in. And the other two got charged. Full price again. No, I literally just walked out.
You've just seen me walk out. No, no. I'm going to stop the dump. No, I remember it was good.
It was good. It was, yeah. It was fun, wasn't it? I think I was.
Not really. Jonesy missed the goal that would have won us the whole voice. Yeah. No way.
Oh, no. It was. It wasn't a set. They've, uh, did you about the Astro?
I got. They got back. They got back. So, I have a opportunity, got back in September, to find that, I've been at the University of the University and their wisdom is relayed the pitch to a rubber crumb.
Which you can't play hockey on. So it's fucking ridiculous. Yeah. So they have to travel all the way to Lampeda to play.
Now home games are laughable. That is like, I don't know actually. So, okay, part of me thinks that's a travesty. But it means getting in your way.
If we don't start. So, yeah. So, yeah. Only apples would find the positive in that.
That's amazing. You don't have to trade. And they were scary every week. Yeah.
The third team is going to be strong this year. Yeah. So, it is nice for my beliefs, damn it. Shit.
Don't be going really big in, uh, in Aboriginal. I did. That was on the group as well. Yeah.
Did you see my bum? So, after we see go, oh, oh, yeah, that nappy rat. How's it doing? It wasn't.
The padding failed on my shorts on the first day. So, I literally did seven hours in the saddle with no padding at all. And so, I had a saddle shake bruise on my ass. It was unbelievable.
How's it looking now? It's, uh, I have a check to be fair. I'm a home. Live on the podcast, show us.
You won't say the C word in your house. So, I'm not showing you my bum. It's a two way street, this is. Don't be a cunt.
Ah, ah, ah. You know, that's so quietly there. That was just a realises that Emily's heard it. He's now grounded.
That was more pathetic than actually not saying it. Don't be a cunt. Nice down by it. Referee, yeah, the boy done good.
Instead of enemy of the week, we're revamping its likely to hero or enemy of the week. Depending on the mood of the two, my lefter, they get to nominate a hero or an enemy of the week. And then we see if good or evil wins. Like it.
Like it. Like it. Like it. Like it.
Like it. Like it. Keep your positivity. What's?
Sorry, two of my left apples. Oh, fuck. The thing is, I don't know what, ah, I've actually got an end. Oh, fuck.
Well, see you later. Me too. Me too. Please.
Okay. Right. My end is open reach. Do you want to know why?
Yes, Steve. Tell us why. It's good to get your attention for two seconds. So let's make the most of it.
Just follow up. Why does it is fulfilling this podcast? I can see my end. Yeah, so open reach.
It's a bit more. I thought I was a internet connection. Um, yeah. Because he would be here right now.
And. Right. I'm not going to do this. That's a fucking trick.
I was editing it. Because it's not worth it. It really isn't. That's a look.
It's really. Because that's the way I'm looking. Looking like it's a rabbit like Koojo. Like, no, no, no, no.
It was going to be probably Johnson because like, fucking fuck up he did with that woman in the run. Did you hear about it? No. What did he do?
So she was there was a woman like that. And there's a place. She's been arrested and she's been tried by. And he basically, he kind of.
Obviously, that's one. Basically said, oh, that's wrong with her training journalist. He said he was taking out context. But the thing is, she wasn't there doing it.
So she's almost admitted that she'd done it. So like, he's looking for the time. I'm going to give her like an extra 10 to 12 years of like a cent to sit around and now she's just played it off. Oh, I didn't mean a lot.
It was taking out context as he always does. But he completely fucked her. That family freaked out. Understandably stuff like that.
But she wasn't. She was there to just educate kids. I think she was there for charity work. She wasn't there to.
Right. Yeah. So like, dear, as well, that like, it could be like, there was no context. He had no context.
Yeah. No. That's what happens when you put a personality politician in a really, in a really like important role, when they're not actually put there or merit. They're put there because they could crack jokes and if I've got news for you.
Exactly. It actually plays with real people's fucking lives. It's. Absolutely.
Absolutely. It's a good one. It's a strong shout out. Strong shout.
Strong. Strong. Strong. So Boris Johnson.
Tommy, who's your enemy of the week, mate? He's got him to serve Boris Johnson. What do you just say? So Boris Johnson.
So Boris Johnson. Boris Johnson. He's going to have to do well to keep fucking night after that, dude. Yeah.
He's coming. I'm going to have a big spigot. Have a little child, is anybody? All right.
Tommy, who do you want to me? So my enemy is just by wanting to be positive. My enemy, well, I realized, I think I mentioned it on podcasts before that I didn't have a hat. Early on, when I was at uni, I became worried that I didn't hate anyone and I thought that's just not healthy.
And so I decided to make a hate list. And I had Sonia from EastEnders on my hate list. And that was all I had for a bit. And I realized that's not a list.
That's just a person. That's a hate person. So that became weird. So I had to come up with someone else.
And out of the blue, I decided to come across now. Because why not? Why? Why?
I had to choose someone. I had to choose someone. I mean, yeah, he's all right. He's all right.
What about him? What about him? He's a fish in the mouth. Exactly.
That's the reason why. No, what's the one where the boy dressed up as a ghost? Tommy, can I interrupt? Two seconds.
I'm pretty sure my sister. No, no. Stop it. My sister looks like Sonia Jackson.
Say, do you hate my sister, Tommy? You can't interrupt my hate list. Why do you hate my sister, Tommy? You can't interrupt my hate list.
Well, it remains in most of the week for you. Oh. I like that. But I realized, big news guys, over the last couple of months or so, that's not English.
Over the last couple of months, I realized that I've started to hate people. Yeah. It's just good. I feel like I'm progressing and becoming a real life human being.
When you say people, you don't mean a collective of people because that's really wrong and you shouldn't think like that. Oh, well, I thought it was healthy. So I hate people. I hate people.
I just want to be tired of a bit of anxiety. So why point here? Make your boy here. I can't be here.
That's it. I couldn't be with the line. Just imagine Tommy's script up. Like, it's like a soft mod.
I've got hate about that. I hate it. I hate you here for the year. Hate for a song.
No, I just, and it's quite good because I just decided I hate people for no reason. It's great. I'm going to tell you. Glen Hoddle, he's on the list.
Don't like him, is he dick. Gary Neville, what I do. No particular reason. Just hate him.
Mainly pun bits. Mainly pun bits. This regulation came to me whilst watching an England friendly. Probably had something to do with that.
I'll see you in a minute. Ah, it was his sister. She's on the list. I've only done a scene of picture on her.
And Jamesy, you're pretty close to making the list as well. What? Ah, that's hard. What are you treating?
What are you treating Miguel there? Was completely fair. It's completely fair. What are you doing with what can England friendies?
I've told you, you can't watch any England friendlies or qualifiers. Only watching them in the big tournaments when you know they're going to let you down and you're not spending. Because the next six months, Apple's going to think we're going to be the World Cup again. He's going to be like, Harry Kane's the next mensie.
Kane's the king of fame. Yeah, because Miss. There's one that's the World Cup. Yeah, maybe you'll have.
But Chrissy, I know now that we're the European Championship. Have won every World Cup over the last couple of years, apart from the actual thing. Was it under 20s, under 17s, under 15s? Apple's got hope in his voice again about England.
Don't they? They will let you down. I'm not going to maintain that. This likes an excuse watching young boys running around a football pitch.
Butsted. And butsted, he likes butsted. He really likes butsted. But I go to school for a little boys.
Can't be friends anymore. You're on my hate list. I think it's a form of promotion. I'm now up there with Gary Neville and Glenn Huddle.
I like that. You're very noble. What's yours, Genzi? Well mine are, I'd like to nominate two heroes of the podcast.
Oh, is it me and Apple? Oh, you're half right. You're half right. The heroes of the podcast are Lee, Alec Porter and Benjamin Stokes.
Now both of them got themselves into a little bit of bother. One, Apple's a couple of years back, two recently for Ben Stokes. They both in the same situation came out of a nightclub, after a few beers, after a few drinks, and they saw, what's the best way to describe this? They saw a vulnerable person.
Vocal sack. Yeah, a homophobic attack, a vulnerable person being beaten up by a couple of people. So like the heroes that they are, they came to the defence of those people. Now that is all I have to say about the matter.
They are heroes and I think Apple's should go on an ashes tour. And I think, and Stokes should go on an ashes tour, because they did the noble thing of helping out a man when they needed help. However, the media portrayed Apple's his fight outside of the club, they might not have even picked it up. Who knows?
And how they portrayed Ben Stokes outside the club. They've got the wrong end of the stick. Let Apple's and Ben Stokes play in the ashes. That's all I say.
I think Apple should go on an ashes tour and Ben Stokes should come on an abrable boy's work. Chose it, love it. Heek, look at that. You fell.
He's got the same. He's got the same. That's very good. That was really good.
Give him a quick publication about how I was trying to get you to admit that had him in a footballer, you just completely batted that back by comparing the same incident as ours. So fair play. Two-shakes there, two-shakes. Just give a little bit of backstory to the few podcasts that we actually have.
Did Apple happen to you outside of the Michael Bapples, didn't it? Yeah. A little less than Michael. Like Ben Stokes up the guy out.
I got kicked in by four people. So I'm a ten quattado. I still remember, and I said it and I meant in humour, but I must have not said it in a particular mood for this season. But when I met his mum at a police station outside on the victim's mum, the next day, because we'd have to say this and stuff.
I think he's so much so well. But I was just saying it with such, I don't know, I think it was a concussion, but I said it so down. She would laugh and she'd be like, oh shit. I think she's fine.
That wasn't what I was trying to go for, but obviously came across the wrong. No, you did a noble thing. You did a very noble thing. It's just Ben Stokes is harder than you.
Can't help. Give me the evidence. I can't argue against that. I'm going to lie.
I'm not going to lie. Oh, that is a fight I'd like to see. Well, Stokes versus Apple. Well, no, it'll be Ben Stokes and Apple versus Boris Johnson, BT Open Reach, and your hate list.
What? Who is it? Glenn Hoddle and Gary Neville? Oh yeah, I forgot.
And Liam Williams, he's on my list as well. Yeah, he's a really good rugby player, but you instantly hate him and I have no idea why. Yeah, I'll just because he left fingers, isn't it? You were talking about it ages ago.
Because he left the Welsh nations to play in England. That's why Joe's hates him. Oh, I don't like him. It's something about him.
He's quite irritating. He's a bit of a footballer, really. Yeah, probably. James, you talk about your hate list.
Do you watch a fenest? I don't watch the fenest. No, it's like what you're picking up on the front of. Do you watch it?
I do, I love it. Why I know it's one of the contestants. I don't, I know the mum of one of contestants. Do you watch the last school?
Okay, which one? Remember her name? No, I'm going to come across as racist. Okay, like Sargetown.
Is it Sargetown? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Something like, what is your right? Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah. Why what's happening on the pretzels at the moment, Apple? I don't, well, the winning team got to go to the Oval and play with an X-inglin great man. It was Kevin Peterson.
No, no. I love to cherish this. He'll be going fucking spare. No, that's all over here.
No, no, no, no. You're a pretzels and Kevin Peterson. They're a match made in heaven. They really are.
I thought you'd like that. Yeah. I'm really not. Wake off, is it?
Not the Bake Off. I love a good cake. Taskmaster was so good last week. That song they did, Niskewara and Mark Watson's song about the lady.
Have you seen it, Tom? No. You haven't seen the last class yet? I haven't watched any of me.
I should say that. I watched the first couple of series over the last week. Oh, sorry, it was Phil. It was, oh, yeah, not bad.
Well, basically the same. That's not Niskewama. So, what? It's like a comedy panel type thing.
Yeah, have you heard of Taskmaster? Oh, it's good. Whatever. I'll see you get on Skye.
No, that's tough. Yeah. Since I've been working, I've been running out of podcasts a bit like, so I've been actually going back and watching all the mock the weeks. Like, like 16 seasons, like in the background.
So, yeah, it's good. Yeah, this is more, a good, by the way, it's quite topical, isn't it, I suppose. So, this is more like, you can pick it up at any point in time. Yeah, you'll like it.
Which is better. Yeah, perfect. It's a two mile left recommendation. I was nearly crying at one point in the last, I can't remember what I bet it is.
Yeah, there's some really good comedians on this. Yeah. Hey, I can't believe they had a dot brown on Prince. I seriously, I was good.
Yeah, a dot brown was good. Sally Phillips this season has been. Sally Phillips is lovely for an older lady. He loves her.
You an older lady. An older lady. You misogynist. Can we see if we can get Miguel again?
Yeah. No. Game over, man. Game has got down, Daisy.
Right, so it should be full. Phil, to see who will win in the fight against good and evil. Yes. Oh, wait, I need to tell him I'll go in Williams, because I think he'll hate him most.
OK, don't know. Hang on, how does it work then? Because we say like, you get to go into the room, don't you? Before the rest of the dickens.
So like, if you win as a hero, you can shut him with either. No, there's a separate room. Oh, OK. Oh, you're Phil.
Obviously a separate room you can't get out of. Phil, can you hear us? OK. Phil, can you hear me?
OK. Good try, Daisy. You're part of the podcast. I'm sorry, you can't hear us.
You can't hear them, because I've got my headphones on. But you are live on to my left and search topic. You are live on to my left and search topic. If it's such a special moment calling.
Oh, that's not a moment. Right, so Phil, you are, I guess, simply you can't make it today, but it's not a moment going to be a moment going to be a moment. OK, OK. You can't get it.
So, we've got two heroes. So, it's a fight against good and evil, right? OK. And you've got two heroes on one side.
You've got Lee Alec Porter. Yeah. And Ben Snokes. OK.
And they are fighting. They are the heroes. And they are fighting. Yeah, gay defenders, yeah.
Love it! We can love it. And they are fighting. Liam Williams.
I don't really like the pretty poor. Okay, fair enough. More money would be one piece. I don't know if anybody do I pay you.
Go, go, go. Gen Z forgot the other enemy. Be a girl then. Peace out.
See you later, Bill. I've got you. I forgot you can't hear any good news. No, no.
No, no, no. Good work, Bill. So inducted into the new hero of the podcast room is Ben Stokes and Apples. Yeah, apples is both an enemy and a hero.
He's got the biggest one is the darkest time. He's got a secret passageway. Which I think perfectly sums me up. I'm actually being anti-angy.
I'm going to do my left insert topic, Thomas. Yeah, right. I came up with this a while ago. I can't quite remember which way I was going with it.
So I'll offer two questions from what I've written down. Basically, I've written down a quantum leap. So otherwise either which TV show from the 90s do you think should be brought back next? Oh, good chat.