E101. People Pleasers - with Newton Cheng, Director of Health + Performance at Google, World Champion Powerlifter

“I’m a people pleaser. For good reasons - because I want to take care of others - and then bad reasons - because I think I am seeking love and acceptance, and so I will give beyond what I should in order to get that. At some point I start to get weary, I get overwhelmed. I start to get resentful, where I’m like, ‘okay, I’ve given a lot. Everyone, can you please back off me?’ But I don’t have the skills to lay down that boundary.” - Newton Cheng Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Newton Cheng. Beyond being the Director of Health + Performance at Google, Newton is a father of 2 girls, a husband of 13 years, and a world champion powerlifter. In January 2022, Newton went on mental health leave. And after sharing this story, the responses were more positive than he ever imagined they’d be. Now, Newton is charged up to continue the work of destigmatizing having conversations about your mental health, and he’s ready to build a movement. We’re excited for you to get to know Newton and his precise insights on himself as a leader and as a man. (2:30) Ashanti’s introduction. (6:45) Newton introduces himself and how he was introduced to Ashanti back in 2015. Then, he tells the audience about his family background, his athletic career, and his work at Google. (10:45) Newton talks about the LinkedIn post that brought him and Ashanti closer together. Then, he and Ashanti broadly discuss the work they have to do around masculinity. (16:35) Newton shares the front of his mask - kind, optimistic, zen - which he refers to as “Zen Newton.” (18:15) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, dedicated - and how his serious side tends to take over during his interactions. (24:25) Newton goes into the concept of “shadows” in the world of mindfulness, then shares the back of his mask - resentful, self-judging, lonely.” (29:00) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - sensitive, “I feel”, worry, fear - and how the back of his mask was formed early in childhood. Then, he goes into more detail about his wish to “turn certain feelings off.” (39:15) Ashanti tells a story about a young man in his program that lost a pet recently. (43:45) Ashanti finishes up the rest of the back of his mask, and he and Newton broadly discuss leadership, teaching, and the critical gap between where we are now and where we want to be. They reach the conclusion, “just keep doing the reps.” (54:35) Newton shares some final thoughts and final words with the audience. --- Connect with Newton Cheng: LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/newtoncheng --- Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected] --- Connect with Ashanti Branch: Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch Website: branchspeaks.com --- Send in a voice message: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message