E109 | Anger Isn’t the Enemy – How To Use It Without Losing It | Dr. Mitch Abrams

Wish you handled anger better? You’re not alone – and you’re not broken.Learn how to transform anger into awareness. Dr. Mitch Abrams shares insights on emotional regulation, trauma, and emotional literacy.In this powerful episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea & Jon sit down with Dr. Mitch Abrams, a clinical and forensic psychologist who has spent 20+ years helping people – from inmates to executives – transform how they understand and regulate anger. Drawing from his bold book “I’m Not F*ing Angry!!!”, Mitch shares a radically compassionate take on anger management, emotional triggers, and what it really takes to build emotional control under pressure. Whether you tend to explode or shut down, this episode unpacks:– How anger can be a healthy response (if handled well)– What trauma does to our emotional wiring– How to press pause instead of reacting in regret– Why most people don’t actually need “anger management” – they need emotional literacyIf you’re ready to build better relationships, lead under stress, or just stop saying things you regret – this one’s for you.⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS) 00:00 | The real story behind “I’m Not F***ing Angry!!!”04:42 | Why prison taught Mitch more than his PhD08:31 | Anger isn’t the problem – dysregulation is11:58 | Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn: what’s your default?15:36 | Men vs women: how we express anger differently19:20 | “Emotional sobriety” – what it means and why it matters24:05 | When high performers overheat: what to do27:30 | How to press pause before you blow up30:15 | Using anger as a force for healing35:22 | Mitch’s personal journey with shame, burnout & rebuilding39:40 | Final word: regulate, relate, respond✅ NEXT STEPS 📍 Connect With Dr. Mitch Abrams:– Book (I’m Not F*ing Angry!!!): https://drmitchabrams.com/books/im-not-fcking-angry/– Website: https://www.drmitchabrams.com– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mitchabramspsyd/– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmitchabrams/– X: https://x.com/MitchAbramsPsyD🎧 For More from The 4 Habits:– Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits– Listen Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1– Check your RQ (Relational Intelligence – FREE Quiz): http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com– Learn The 4 Habits in your own time (Online course):https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships– Get the Book: https://the4habits.com/book/– Suggest a guest: [email protected] #AngerManagement #EmotionalRegulation #WishYouHandledAngerBetter #TraumaHealing #HighPerformers #EmotionalIntelligence #RelationshipsMatter#HealthyRelationships #The4HabitsPod #PersonalGrowth #DrMitchAbrams #ConflictResolution #SelfLeadership