Welcome to 7-Minute Sunday on the Switch Pivot or Quick Podcast. I'm your host, Ayanna Angel, and we are going to spend the next 7 minutes together getting you filled up with inspiration and goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness as you enter the week ahead. Today, I want to talk about dealing with those challenging situations where you are being criticized. Criticism.
No one likes criticism. It's just not really the ideal thing or ideal situation to be in. But it is a fact of life. It's a reality we all have to face at some point or another.
And it can actually be looked at as an opportunity for growth on the positive side of things. So I have been reading Kate White's book, The Gutsy Girl Handbook. And I came across a section in a chapter that talks about how to deal with criticism when it's coming from a management perspective or your boss. So she gives some steps to guide you through how to deal with this criticism.
And this is how to deal with it in the moment and after the moment. And so I really wanted to share this with you all because I can recognize that throughout my career, criticism is not a place where I do well. I understand that I'm not perfect. I know I'm not perfect.
Most of us know that we're not perfect. Yet, it is still hard to hear when people don't quite see things the way that you do or they have something to say about the way that you executed something. It's not always the easiest thing to hear. So I know that these are some tips that I could benefit from moving forward in life.
And so I wanted to share them with you as well because I think they would be really helpful. So the first one is to actually listen. When you're in the moment and someone is giving you critique or feedback that is not necessarily ideal for you, it's easy to start formulating your rebuttal and to start having this mindset shift where you go into fight or flight kind of mode where you're just like, I have to protect myself. But what Kate suggests doing is to listen, to really listen, to not interrupt, to appear engaged and to ask questions of this person when it's the appropriate time to ask a question.
So after they've already said everything they wanted to say or given the critique and there's that quiet pause where they're waiting for you to say something, this is your opportunity to present yourself as curious versus defensive and to ask a question like, would you be able to expand on the situation that you're critiquing or would you be able to expand on what you've just said? Obviously, the question can be approached with your specific situation in mind, but the whole idea is to ask a follow-up question so that you can get a better understanding of what they are trying to say with the criticism. The next thing that Kate suggests doing is to breathe, take a deep breath and try and detach yourself from the situation and by detaching yourself from the situation, this causes you not to be overly emotional about it. This is not a situation where you need to think of what this person is saying to you in this criticism as a personal attack.
Your boss may have all of the best intentions, but sometimes people's delivery is just different too, you know? They may not know how to actually give this criticism in a way that feels constructive for you, so sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, take a step back mentally and detach yourself from the criticism in a way that you understand that they're not attacking you, they're not talking about you, they're referencing a situation, an instance, something that was done. And by doing that, Kate suggests that you can gain valuable insight about yourself or about your performance, even if it stings a little bit. So maybe what you do is when you find yourself starting to feel defensive and wanting to overreact with your response, start to breathe, do four breaths in, do four breaths out, and then see how you feel.
This next step is going to require some real self-control. So what you want to do now is, in an undefensive manner, Kate suggests that you repeat back to your manager or to the person giving you the criticism, repeat back what they said. This is an effort to ensure them that you have processed the information correctly and it can also add a softer tone and maybe lighten the mood a little bit and make the conversation go a little smoother. The next step that Kate suggests is to then offer a solution.
Pay attention. The keyword here is solution, not excuse. So a lot of times when we get in situations where we're being criticized, our first defense mechanism is to offer an excuse as to why we did this, why something turned out this way, why the results weren't what was expected. We tend to search for excuses.
Kate suggests to offer a solution. Sometimes your boss or your manager may have some solutions already, but in the event that they don't, this is where you need to think quick on your feet, process the information that's been given to you, the critique that's been given to you, and think of some potential solutions. For example, let's say you're a project manager and included in your project management duties, you have to also manage the budget. So your manager, your boss's critique is that you were over budget for this project, significantly over budget, and you didn't know that you were going to be over budget until the last minute and your boss felt like this is something that you should have been aware of.
You should have figured out some ways to cut the budget and still make the project work. So one thing that you could say in terms of a solution would be, I absolutely understand that I was over budget. I'm aware it wasn't my intention, but I will try and do better next time around if given this opportunity again. What I would like to potentially do is when I'm in the beginning stages of the process, would it be okay if I sat down with you and really went over the budget with a fine-toothed comb and then figured out some areas of opportunity to cut back on the budget if it's projected that we are going to go over budget again.
That way you and I can both be on the same page, and if we need a little extra room, you and I can discuss it and it won't blindside us or the project process. So that's a way for you to actually offer a solution, and that solution includes keeping your manager abreast of the situation so that they're not blindsided by you being over budget. That's just a simple example, but just to give you an idea of how you can approach a situation like that. So the next step that Kate suggests doing is after the meeting, you send your boss or the person giving you the critique an email that pretty much recaps what you all have discussed, so then there's no need for you to have any specific type of tone to this email other than understanding.
It's just like a recap email to let this person know that you understand what has happened and maybe you even include the next steps that you all have discussed to take in order to combat this problem or this situation that has been critiqued. The next step that Kate suggests is nipping denial in the bud. So she's basically saying that the human nature is to encounter one of these situations and then go home and complain to your significant other or go to drinks with your friends and really like trash your boss or your manager or the person that gave you the critique because you just feel like you are just angry about it, you're upset about it, and you want to rant, you want to vent. Well, Kate's advice is to not deny what actually happened.
Acknowledge, and she's saying be gutsy enough, to acknowledge how much of the criticism is actually warranted. When you take a second to sit back and look at the situation, were there things in the situation that was being described that were valid points? Were there areas of opportunity for improvement for you? Were you all the way in the right?
Were they right for the criticism that they came up with? Whether you wanted to hear the criticism or not, that's not the question. The question is, what are you going to do with it now? How are you going to make yourself better as a result of it?
So the next step is, the criticism can come as a result of a situation where some companies now, they do this thing where your whole entire team has the opportunity to chime in and get feedback about you and your performance, your work performance. It's called like this 360 critique. And I personally don't really see it having that much value. I think it could do more harm than good when you have all these people who may not touch a person's workload or work situation day to day as much, but they're able to weigh in.
But it doesn't matter what I think about it. The point is, this may be a situation that you're in. You might be in a 360 review type of situation. So that means that you would get criticism and feedback and critiques from people that are not your manager and not your direct superior.
So what Kate suggests doing in this situation is allowing yourself time to process what you've been given, the information that you've been giving without letting it irk you, without letting it get you upset and get a rise out of you. You know, sometimes getting criticism from anonymous people, you can have a tendency to ignore it and think like, what the heck do they know? But the question that you want to ask yourself is, is there any truth to this? That's what Kate suggests.
Finding out from yourself internally, is there any truth to the criticism? And if there is, figure out ways to take action on it. Figure out ways so that you can avoid the same criticism the next time around. Make yourself better.
And the final and the last step is to determine if the criticism overall, wherever it's coming from, if it's warranted. And if it's warranted, acknowledge that it is warranted. And find a different way to go about doing things. Maybe create a game plan for yourself on correcting the criticism or correcting the perception that the situation has created as a result of the criticism.
You know, obviously, when somebody critiques you about something, that creates perception in their mind. Let's say they critique you about coming in late all the time. You know, it's like, come on, you got to be better. And now the perception that they have of you is that you're not really reliable.
You're always late. So you need to figure out a game plan to correct that. Or maybe your projects are always late or your deadlines are never hit. So they're thinking you're irresponsible in some respects.
You need to figure out a game plan to correct the idea that they now have established in their mind about you. So one of the key things is figuring out if the criticism is warranted. And if it's warranted, then that is really an area of opportunity for you. It's an area for you to be able to grow in and make yourself better instead of doing what the natural inclination to do is to be defensive, to fight, to defend yourself because you feel like you're under attack.
No, the best way and the more professional way to go about this type of situation is to use these steps that Kate has offered because they will probably get you better results than if you just automatically went on the defensive. So I hope that these steps are helpful for you, whether you're actually in this situation right now in the moment or if it's a situation that you've faced in the past, hopefully it'll give you something to think about. And if it's a situation that you face in the future, I really hope that it gives you some tools to work with so that you can successfully navigate that situation of criticism. I hope that you have an amazing week ahead of you this week.
I hope that you don't encounter any negativity. I hope that it's all positive. I hope that you make amazing strides in your personal and professional journey. And as always, I thank you for hanging out with me on the 7-Minute Sunday and keep killing it.
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