E15: A Therapist’s Perspective on the Emotional Stages of Deconstruction and How to Stay Safe in the Process

Guest: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Ruth FriendThis episode is a tender, honest, and deeply grounding conversation with Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor Ruth Friend. She brings more than two decades of clinical experience—and her own lived story—to the topic of spiritual deconstruction. We talk about what actually happens emotionally when your faith begins to shift, crack, or unravel. Ruth names the stages many people move through, from doubt to the crisis, and then reconstruction. She also speaks candidly about her own journey through trauma, toxic theology, and the surprising ways Jesus met her in the lowest places. If you’ve ever wondered whether your questions make you unsafe, rebellious, or “the problem,” this conversation will feel like a deep breath. Ruth normalizes the psychological process of questioning, explains why doubt is developmentally healthy, and offers a therapist’s insight into how to stay emotionally safe while everything you thought you knew feels like it might be shifting. In this episode we exploreRuth’s personal story of trauma, faith, and early deconstruction Why deconstruction often begins with crisis The emotional stages people commonly experience: doubt, confusion, anxiety, shame, and the “tortured soul” season How reading the red letters can reintroduce you to the real Jesus Why questioning is a normal developmental stage—not rebellion What reconstruction can look like when it’s rooted in honesty and freedom How to stay emotionally safe while your beliefs are changing Why Jesus consistently shows up in the low, unexpected places Key Quotes“Deconstruction isn’t throwing Jesus away. It’s peeling back the layers to find what’s actually true.” “Doubt and confusion are normal emotional stages—not signs that something is wrong with you.” “Jesus was subversive. He always stood with the underdog, the outsider, the overlooked.” “You’re not bad for questioning. You’re human.” If You’re in the Middle of ItYou’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not losing faith—you’re searching for what’s true. Subscribe to Thoughts from the Middle for weekly journal promps: www.prayersfromthemiddle.com Email Bria: briannarwasson.com