E15 Sex Myths, Part 2

Welcome back for part 2 of Sex Myths. In this episode, we explore common myths about sex and desire in long-term relationships, aiming to shed light on the realities that often go unspoken. Our conversations unravel misconceptions that can hinder intimacy, offering insight and encouragement for enduring love lives.   Show Notes  Takeaways: The myth that love naturally sustains desire over time How desire evolves with age and changes in life circumstances The impact of societal expectations and myths about aging and sexuality The role of emotional safety, distance, and separation in maintaining desire The influence of societal norms, porn, and cultural stories on expectations The significance of communication and honesty about intimacy The effects of parenthood and life transitions on sexuality Challenging the idea that sexual frequency equals health The importance of individual external lives and separate interests How myths about sexual performance and aging can create unnecessary stress Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction to the myths surrounding long-term sex and desire    02:17 - Why silence and shame impact ongoing intimacy                          04:46 - The myth that desire fades as love endures                                        10:05 - How opening relationships doesn't necessarily restore desire      13:54 - The historical and cultural context of sexuality in different eras        17:28 - Impact of societal beliefs about spontaneous desire                          22:19 - The challenge of keeping the spark alive and the myth of eternal passion                                                                                                                  26:40 - The effectiveness of date nights and creating space for eroticism  29:47 - Differentiating closeness and desire, and the importance of healthy separation                                                                                                35:10 - How desire fluctuates with life phases and age                                    43:06 - Common misconceptions that low desire signals relationship failure                                                                                                                    47:30 - The influence of porn, fantasy, and societal narratives on expectations                                                                                                      50:01 - The myth that aging ends eroticism and desire Note: For a more comprehensive understanding, we recommend reading Esther Perel’s work, which guides much of our discussion today. The episode emphasizes that desire and intimacy in long-term relationships are dynamic, and myths only serve to create unnecessary pressure. Honest communication, ongoing self-awareness, and redefining societal narratives are key to sustaining a healthy, passionate love life as the years go by. References Basson, R. (2001). Using a different model for female sexual response to address women’s problematic low sexual desire. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 27(5), 395–403. https://doi.org/10.1080/009262301753148637 Baumeister, R. F., Catanese, K. R., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Is there a gender difference in strength of sex drive? Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(3), 242–273. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0503_5 Bogaert, A. F. (2004). Asexuality: Prevalence and associated factors. The Journal of Sex Research, 41(3), 279–287. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490409552235 Hamilton, L. D., & Meston, C. M. (2013). Chronic stress and sexual function in women. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(7), 1349–1359. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-012-0044-0 Leitenberg, H., & Henning, K. (1995). Sexual fantasy. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 469–496. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.469 Lindau, S. T., Schumm, L. P., Laumann, E. O., Levinson, W., O’Muircheartaigh, C. A., & Waite, L. J. (2007). A study of sexuality and health among older adults. New England Journal of Medicine, 357(8), 762–774. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMoa067423 Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. A. (2016). Sexual frequency predicts greater well-being. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(4), 295–302. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550615616462 Perel, E. (2006). Mating in captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence. HarperCollins.   Contact Information: Find Murder of Crones on You Tube, Tik Tok, Facebook and Instagram.  Email : [email protected]   Special Thanks to www.dinnissendesign.com for Zabrina’s use of their show room for recording. Check them out for all your interior design needs. Dinnissen Design is located in Vancouver and Castlegar BC.