Working with Ayana was like talking to a friend, but not just any friend, a friend who really understands how to grow an online business. She was easy to talk to and very relatable. Ayana was also quick on her feet. She effortlessly provided creative ideas and solutions where I was completely drawing the blank.
I gained so much information that I did not have before, such as how to come up with creative content for my website and repurpose content. That's just a few words from Rick Lynn regarding her experience with a Pick My Brain session with me. And if you are on the fence about whether to book your Pick My Brain session or not, hopefully this just gives you a little insight as to what the experience may be like. You can head over to switchpivotorquick.com today and book your session with me.
Hey girl, hey, and thanks for dropping into the Switch, Pivot, or Quit podcast. Candy convo for the girl needing a lifestyle plot twist when she's deciding if it's time to switch, pivot, or quit. I'm Ayana Angel, a former sports entertainment publicist in New York City, turned traditionally published author with Simon & Schuster, who quit my old life to write a book, live in London for a bit, and explore my dreams to find my happiness and fulfillment. I'm here to help encourage and guide you through your plot twist years as your chief encourager and host of the Switch, Pivot, or Quit podcast.
Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes if you have enjoyed listening to this podcast so far, and check out switchpivotorquick.com for even more personal and professional development resources. But for now, just sit back, open your mind, and enjoy the show. So, this week we're doing something a little new. In keeping with true Switch, Pivot, or Quit form, I'm always trying different things, and I remember it was a month back, I put out a call to all of you saying who wanted to share their story and just their raw, honest truth about their own Switch, Pivot, or Quit transition and what they're going through right in the midst of it.
A lot of times on this podcast, we hear from women who are on the other side of their transition, but I really wanted to hear from you all, and actually you wanted to hear from each other. You wanted to hear each other's stories of being in the midst of your transition and making your Switch, Pivot, or Quit. So, some of you reached out, DMed me, and it was so great to hear from you, and the first person that we are going to start with and hear her story is Chantel, and I'm excited for you to hear from her because Chantel really offered us a lot of her true, honest, candid thoughts, emotions as she's in the midst of transition. So, I really hope that you're able to connect with her story and just also support her on this journey, even if you don't know her.
Sending her good vibes, that's always a good thing to do as well. So, sit back, enjoy this conversation with Chantel, and I hope that you walk away feeling good. I hope you walk away feeling inspired and feeling like you can make the transitions and changes that you need to make as well. All right, let's get into it.
Okay, Chantel, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so excited. I am too.
This is new for us, but I think it's going to be fun. I agree. I really like talking to you. Thank you.
So, just so you guys have a little background, Chantel and I had a conversation prior to this, just so that I can get more acclimated with her story and her journey. But why don't you go ahead, Chantel, and just kind of give them a little taste of sort of where you are now. Okay, so, honestly, it's just been like a few dips. Right now, it's the waiting game, so I'm just waiting for the call.
But luckily, in the process, I've been able to pick up side clients, and my entrepreneurial spirit has come out a lot because now I have way more time, and I'm like, I want to make some money while I'm waiting. So, yeah, it's kind of been a good place, but it's also been a little scary. You know, patience is hard when you're being taught a lesson, and you're like, do I really have to wait this long? Yeah, yeah, because we're in this society right now where everything looks like instant gratification.
So, it's easy to start looking around and feel like, well, where's my moment? Where's my, you know, like, where's my whatever it is I'm looking forward to having? So, what have you learned about yourself in terms of patience? How's that sort of like, how's that revealed itself to you?
I've learned that I have a habit of, I would say, isolating myself when I feel uneasy or because I've noticed how most of the time my energy is very high. I'm really excited and happy and optimistic around people. So, when my friends call and I don't have the best things to say, I kind of isolate myself, and that's something I'm learning because most of the time I'm optimistic and I have great energy when people come around. So, when I don't feel like that energy is at a hundred percent, I kind of distance myself.
But luckily, my friends are loyal and they still call me tomorrow, okay? So, I appreciate them. Yeah. Friendship, having friendship, like the real true friendship around you when you're going through a time of transition, it's very, very important because there's people that you need to pour into you and to lift you up, but they might not even know what they're really doing.
It's just been being there and their support that makes all the difference. How have you sort of like found your relationships to show up in this time of transition for you? Wow. Well, especially with family, me and my dad have had this conversation multiple times throughout this transition because I have a hard time asking for help and it's on his nerves.
So, I will be hungry. I will be like, no, I'm okay. And he'll be like, how much cash do you have? Like, what do you need?
And I'm just like, oh, I'm an adult. He's like, do you not realize how much you're doing with your life? Like, I'm supporting you. And my friends are helping me to be present in the moment because they're like, girl, one day you are going to be getting up at 7 a.m.
every day again, just like the rest of us. So, enjoy sleeping and enjoy being patient with yourself because this might be the only time for a long time. Right, right. So, I want to touch back on the conversations with dad because a lot of us have that pride, you know, where you don't want to say what's really going on and what you really need.
How does that make you feel when, you know, he says like, hey, how much money do you need? How much cash do you have on you? Like, what do you think the source is of the sort of resistance to kind of say, this is where I'm at and this is what I need? Like, is it hesitation?
Is it embarrassment? Like, what do you feel like it could be? Yes, it's definitely embarrassment. I was just telling him how I feel like my role in our family in general is just like, you know, Chantel has her life together.
She went to college. She did this. She did everything the right way. She has no kids.
Like, you know, so I feel like I need to uphold that. Like, I need to remain independent. I need to feed myself. I have a car.
I brought my car myself. Like, all these things that I've done so far, I'm feeling like there's pressure to keep it or to keep the image and to make sure that the family knows I'm okay. You never have to worry about me and knowing that they have to worry about me the way they've had to with other family members. That makes me feel like, you know, like kind of helpless in the situation.
But you know that they love you and support you and you don't have to be super well with them, right? Right. I'm learning. Yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, we put these pressures on ourselves, but really, this is like self-perception. It's not the way that other people see you. It's the way that you see yourself, the way that you feel like you have to show up for other people. But especially the elders, they all recognize and realize that you're going to go through trials and tribulations in life.
And things, they're just not always going to be perfect. So as long as you're trying and you're not out there being reckless with your decisions and things like that, people are really willing to support. Yeah, I definitely have seen that. Even with my grandma.
My grandma, she lives in D.C., so she gets like free, you know, vegetables and stuff. She's like, yeah, so if you need some, come over. Just get some. She's like, you're doing way, my dad and grandma and my mom are always like, you're doing way more than I was even thinking of doing at your age.
So they're like, we support you. We want you to be great. We want you to be happy. And I'm just like, I can't take this.
I get kind of overwhelmed with emotion because I'm even more grateful when I can receive from them. And when I open myself up to receive, I get so overwhelmed with gratitude. Keep that spirit though, that gratitude because, you know, there'll be a day where you'll be able to do for them in amazing ways. And you know what I mean?
And you just, it's going to feel so good to pour back into them the way that they poured into you and supported you and helped you. And that's what family does, you know? That's what they do. That's the beauty of having a good support system around you.
So, you know, that's something to be grateful for, for sure. I want to read what you read or what you wrote rather when you messaged me on Instagram, if that's okay with you. Yeah, of course. Okay.
So for those who are not really familiar, you can follow switch, pivot or quit on Instagram and through following switch, pivot or quit, you know, I'm always throwing things out there and ideas. And I also really pay attention when you all that are listening, when you speak, when you say certain things, because I do want to make my best efforts to give you what you need. And so one listener said, you know, she commented under an image and she said, it would be really great to hear more stories like this, stories of people in the midst of their transition, in the midst of their switch, pivot or quit. So I put out this call, as I mentioned to you guys before, and I want to tell you guys or read to you what Chantel wrote.
So she messaged me and said, wow. So I literally just went into the bathroom at my job, looked at myself in the eyes and said, it's time to go. I'm crying almost every day and totally unhappy at work. It's time to go.
I'm going to die one day and I don't want it to be here and unhappy. Time to move on, even if it hurts. I was like, wow, she's a poet. So yes, that is a part of her story.
But you know, I felt those words because I know those words. I know those words. I understand that space. I went into those bathrooms myself.
Just sometimes just I used to put down the paper seat cover, a couple sheets of it. And I would just sit there on the toilet door closed like, I need a minute. What am I gonna do? You know what I mean?
And just to not be in front of everybody to kind of digest what's happening, especially when you're unhappy in a situation and then somebody makes you, you know, even more unhappy for whatever the reason might be. So I know those bathroom moments all too well. Can you take us back to that time and what you were sort of like experiencing? Maybe what was even happening that day or in that period of time when you wrote that message?
I'm not gonna lie when you're reading that back. I got emotional. I felt some tears. I was like, oh my gosh, there it is.
But it makes me really grateful that I could leave. I do remember that period. So it probably literally was yesterday. It was like a few weeks ago, leading up to when I finally put in my week's notice.
But it was a 30-day period where I was crying every single day. I was totally isolated from friends, family. I was just going to work, coming home, just doing my best to get through every single day as possible. Like, you need a job, you need a rent.
Like, you have to be okay. Like, you have no choice. And I remember questioning everything. I was like, I'm like, at some point throughout every single day, there are tears coming to me.
And I don't know why. It's like, my menstrual period went by. My relationship, like my romantic relationship wasn't necessarily off track. I was like, am I, is it my friendships?
Like, I was questioning everything except the job. And I was like, you spend the most time there. And I was literally closing my office door to cry. And I was, yeah, I was like, I'm questioning my whole existence because of this one job that can replace me.
And I can find an income because there's enough money circulating. And after the 30-day period, I was just like, time to refocus. Like, I was on my lunch break, putting in job applications. And I wrote my letter of resignation just to do like a law of attraction thing.
I was like, I'm going to write my letter of resignation before August 17th. And that was when I had put in my two weeks notice. Actually, no, that was my last day. I put in my two weeks notice two weeks before that.
And I was like, are you really going to do this? Is this a straight move? And I was just like, at this point, what do I have to lose? My sanity?
Like, you're already halfway there. Yeah, crying every day. That can't be, you know, the best place to be in. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just, I'm like, really, I'm really proud of you for recognizing what was actually happening and going on with you instead of just sitting in it and sitting in it and sitting in it because so many people just sit in it and they allow themselves to be, to end up being miserable. Maybe they don't start off miserable, but it grows to a point of being miserable because you're not happy and you have nothing to look forward to day to day. Because like you said, that job, that place that you have to show up to daily, there's so many hours of your day that are spent there. So you don't want it to be a place of misery, right?
You want it to be a place of happiness and where you, you know, can really flourish and thrive. And so like, you know, you have to recognize what's happening with yourself and then start addressing it accordingly. So before you wrote that letter, what were you sort of, what was your decision-making process? How were you sort of navigating the space to get to the point of saying, okay, I'm going to write this letter.
Like, this is the direction I'm moving in. I had to self-validate and that was kind of hard for me, which shouldn't be because I'm so used to asking my mom for advice or asking my dad, like, what do you think? And instead I had to say, this is your decision. They're not going to work for you every day.
Like nobody's living this life but you. I was literally on track to start working for the, which would have been a total pay cut. I would have been doing more than a paycheck to paycheck, probably including credit cards. Like it would just be a total setup for myself considering the fact that I was making more before.
So it would just be a complete shot. But I was like literally on impulse. Like I was in looking, I was in the escape room looking for my way out and I was like, I don't care. Like I just, and I kept trying to validate it for myself.
Like, you'll be okay. You'll make it work. Yeah. Um, yeah.
You have a supportive landlord. You'll be great. Just, just do it. And yeah.
Then plan changed. Like it's out of my control. Things happen the way they're meant to. So talk to us a little bit about the job that you were walking away from and sort of what, what did the early days of this position feel like?
What drew you to this position initially? Um, it was a position at my alma mater, which was great because like I can get back the way people gave back to me and I can also use the degree I got, um, in communication. So I was doing social media and, you know, I just saw all of these ideas and these visions and I came in with a different supervisor than the one I transitioned to. But yeah, so the first supervisor, she pretty much gave me free range.
She kind of let me, um, let my creative vision happen. And in meetings, even my coworkers told me like in meetings, I was constantly giving ideas and I was being innovative and I was just throwing it out there. People were loving me. And, um, it got to the point where when you're not supported, it's just like, what's the point in me doing it anymore?
So I kind of got discouraged and I was just like, yeah. And this was after I switched supervisors. So wait, wait, wait, pause here. What brought about you feeling discouraged?
Um, like the ideas I had were more so like, okay, that's nice. But I kind of look like I was the youngest in the, in the whole department. So it was probably like, I'm this young girl with all these ideas. Like I felt like a child being hushed and I didn't feel respected as a professional.
Um, I started getting micromanaged, which was new for me because, um, as I told a lot of people, my parents don't even treat me like that. You know, my parents aren't really on my back. They trust me as an independent person and as a creative person. So they, you know, they've always let me do what I want to do.
If I want to try a new sport or try a new activity at school, they always supported it. And it was just, it was kind of hard for me to have to deal with somebody who was on my back and treating me like, you know, a kid. What have you learned about yourself and sort of like the type of management style that you think you work best with in a corporate environment or in a professional environment? it i hate to be a millennial but we love um just kind of free range we love creative freedom that's a big part of my career mantra like i want creative expression and i want um someone who pretty much gives me totally accountable but also um knows how to just give me space and i would love flexibility and i didn't have i think i had a decent amount of flexibility with that job i won't even lie you know the lead everything was great but um yeah more flexibility i went i kind of like eased in working from home like i mentioned it in our one-on-ones like i think you know working home one day a week would just increase our um employee satisfaction and i remember telling her that she just looked at me blank blankly and then said oh okay i'll bring that up to the director like it was like okay it's like why do you want to do that and it's just like i'm not being received in any way in my last job um i had that feeling like if i was like feeling a little sick but still good enough to work she would let me work from home so it was just certain things like that i didn't realize what i had previously that's very interesting too because sometimes we are quick to you know point out the flaws in a situation or what we don't like but then when you get into another situation you're like oh this is exactly yeah yeah so when you when you think about what's going on right now in the space you're in because you're very much so in a space of transition right now what's one of the biggest fears that you have right now um i try okay so i'm kind of obsessed with fear kind of not i try not to talk about my fears but at the same time i have this thing where i tell myself to do something every day that scares me just so i'm not as afraid of fear and so like will smith talks about that a lot and i really like that like just approaching your fear head i'm gonna do it anyway but um in this space my biggest fear is that plans continue to change like right now i want stability and it's it's crazy because it's like i've never wanted to go to a day job so much in my life why do i want to go to work so bad it's like i see everyone else doing things like my landlord her husband her mom they all work and it's like i i kind of feel bad i'm like they're going to work every day like i should be going somewhere and doing something and although i'm doing my stuff on the side it just doesn't feel equivalent and i don't know why it's like because this could very well make me more money than ever but i feel the pressure to go somewhere every single day like them you know but i wonder if that's just like a societal pressure definitely i definitely think so yeah because you know like there's a lot of people that you know are freelance or work for themselves don't keep normal hours but might make just as much money as your landlord or anybody else you know but we kind of have this idea that we have to show up somewhere daily at a certain time for a certain amount of hours in order for it to be valid you know yes that's it that's it yeah yeah and i think that's just an attachment that we have it's also we're trained that way what else do we know you know this whole entrepreneurial freelance independent lifestyle it's newer and a lot of people still don't understand it so you know i get it i absolutely understand why you would feel some type of way and i remember when i first left my job i was happy to sleep in for sure right i was definitely happy to sleep in because i used to live for weekends and then i was also i did i did feel a little bit of like hmm so what am i doing i'm not getting ready to be you know and it's like the middle of the day and i'm walking down the street going to go running errand or do whatever it is that was on my agenda for the day but i got over it and also i sort of had to get over it because you have to start creating routines for yourself too that help you to understand that okay these are my goals these are things i'm trying to get to i'm working just like everybody else i had to put myself in that mindset though and in order to sort of do that i have to create something that i'm accountable for so yeah yeah so do you have any idea of what your ideal career or position would look like oh my gosh so i'm actually reading this book called um it's okay to use profanities it's okay this is book called rich bitch by nicole lappen or layton okay but i've been i've been reading so many books about just you know keeping my life together financially and stuff um and she asked like your goals for like finance family and your fun goals and like when she started talking about careers she was like i'm gonna tell you to think 10 years in advance let's start with like one year three years five years and so on so i started thinking i was like well my ideal career would i wouldn't say 100 remote because i do like the in-person aspect but there is a level of like flexibility where i can work while traveling or just like travel somewhere spend a week and still work like a few hours every day or something so that amount of flexibility i love that concept i used to work for the airlines i would travel and work all the time and that just felt i guess it just feels more glamorous than it is because but i do i do want a lot of flexibility and i want to be in a creative space so i would love to either create an at-home office that is extremely creative and foster the creative environment for myself or even going into a office that is you know innovative and moving forward and not stuck in every day nine to five more so well you can work like you know 12 to eight or something like today okay what kind of industry do you think you want to be in that is something i'm actually reevaluating because i've always been in public relations and journalism i love writing that's obviously my first love um but at this point the job that i'm like transitioning into it's more so like recruiting and marketing so i pretty much enjoy marketing the little bit of it that i've like touched so i'm considering the marketing industry okay okay what is it about marketing that you think you sort of gravitate to at this point i think i'm pretty critical of like standard marketing so like listening to the radio i remember so the new i think australia university they have queen latifah doing the commercial and she's talking about how she didn't go to school or she didn't finish school but she's like you should definitely go i remember talking to my dad i'm just like from a critical perspective i was like how is this effective queen latifah is so successful and she didn't finish college why do i need to like that's how i'm thinking right so i feel like i come with a unique perspective to it so there are certain things that would not have been done if you have like the pesty commercial things like that like my best friend always talk about that we're just like where's the diversity consultant for marketing where is the diversity person to let you know that this is not exactly right you probably have a bunch of yes men in the room but i'm generally the person who will compassionately speak my truth like i don't think that's a good idea but if we did this with that it would be great like you know you come with another solution though you come with a answer versus just pointing out the problem right right i love that it's a challenge for me okay in terms of your strengths and in your skill set what do you what comes to mind when you think about like okay these are my strengths these are the things that i'm really good at these are the areas that i shine you um what comes to mind i don't want to say the like generic stuff at all um but i'm very good with catching things that i don't think people generally look at like i'm not i'm looking at body language in the room if you give me a piece of paper or pdf file of like um like a magazine like i'm the editor-in-chief for the sugar magazine which is a magazine that goes out monthly but i'm able to like find an extra space in a paragraph and people are like what why are you even looking at that i'm like well we want it to look right and i want i want whoever i'm representing to shine and there are certain things that people will look at but won't say anything and then you lose your credibility and i understand how important that is like once you lose your credibility nobody's listening right and that's just the reality of it and yeah my strength is maintaining credibility through presentation how about that i've never thought of that until now i love that i love that when you think about your your sort of thing that you value in terms of uh just your life and your person and the world that you want to sort of exist in what what matters most to you what are the things that you value i value conversation like how we're having this conversation i feel like so many things could be different about the world people just had an honest conversation like i love those youtube videos with like um like older people like 80 years old have a conversation with an eight-year-old or like you know yeah you know i've seen some too lately where it'll be like it's i think it's something called like maybe 26 questions or something and it's like a man and a woman who could likely date and you know maybe like like each other but this is their first date and the goal is to ask these series of questions to get to know each other and then decide if they want to date from there and it's just it ends up being this really good conversation i've only watched a couple of them but i agree the conversation helps you to get to things that maybe you wouldn't get to if you were so busy like fronting okay so like you know what i mean they're trying to put on this pretty facade and they're asking like real questions so i agree we have a lot more like depth in our conversations regularly we might be able to alleviate some of the drama in our lives exactly like and then it will develop more compassion i'm really big on compassion i think we no matter whether it's a family relationship or a friendship or whatever you're going through if you just have more compassionate for how that person spoke to you or how they approach you like oh wow you really have so much going on like you have a newborn you have like a husband that's on your back like you have so many things kind of behind you so that's why you approach me like that like just general compassion for people it would help us be more understanding and more effective so tell us a few more things that you value um okay um i value positive thinking i think you can't really get through something unless you change your mindset like um i've been i've been like overweight all my life but i realized like i had a friend who lost a lot of weight but her mindset didn't change so i was like if you don't if you're not generally confident inside then it doesn't matter how much weight you lose you will always not like yourself and so yeah i'm really big on positive thinking um knowledge is power that whole thing i try to absorb like a sponge because you never know what you can learn from someone's story true um that's generally and disrespecting people generally being respectful to the next person and considerate of whatever they come with i like i love all those love all of those you're we were talking in our um premium interview and you are young and i told you that i was like you know you're young this is the time where you can sort of like you know decide in less than a year that you don't want to work wherever it is you're working and you can switch it up because there's that forgiveness in your time period that you're in right now because this is when you should be exploring and trying new things and seeing what works for you and figuring out what you like versus what you don't like i will say though that even though you're on the younger side of things you know you still have this wisdom about you that i absolutely appreciate and i think it's going to really take you very far um so when you think of what you sort of maybe ideally would want to happen um in the next like let's say 90 days how would you want things to sort of like come together or what would make things come together for you oh wow do you mean like professionally or yeah i mean like professionally personally however because look our professional experiences our personal experiences all of these things overlap you know we like to and that's why i like to say that in order to make changes professionally you have to make changes personally you have to understand some things personally because a lot of who you are as a person will impact who you are as a professional and how you show up as a professional and how you sort of navigate that space in that world even going into like what you were talking about in terms of mindset you know if you if you're that type of person that has that mindset that everybody's against you nobody wants you to win you know um everything is just always going wrong you can never get ahead how do you think you're gonna fare at in a job you're probably gonna be like one of the worst employees you know the negative nancy the person nobody really wants to be around nobody really wants to go to lunch with all of these things you're gonna be wondering why you can't get ahead why you can't get a promotion things like that but a lot of it can be traced back to your attitude and how you um allow other people to interact with you or not you know so that's that's kind of like my thoughts on it where i'm coming from with it i'm like over here snapping because i'm like yes it is personal like i heard this quote once where i was like um like business is business or something like no business all business is personal like we all come with different things but um as far as it all coming together i would say generally i want to i'm excited because even before i left my last job i was driving to work listening to like upbeat positive music and i'm just like i'm so excited to love my job i'm so excited to like you know just manifest in it like i'm so excited to go to work that's what we're bringing together for me is to have that excitement again and to have that newness and to also have like my side hustle flourishing because i set a goal where i'm not eating chocolate until i make my first ten thousand dollars outside of my full-time job oh okay okay now tell us a little bit about how you plan to go about doing that so i actually started it because i read this book called um dreams are built overnight by david shans it's such a good book my friend put me on and he was like you have to be willing to sacrifice something and i was like oh what's gonna hurt but not kill me um i was like chocolate that'll do it and like i'm so excited to have a Reese's Cup um the way i'm going about doing it i'm pretty much right now putting together my marketing materials for kitchen services i offer but also i'm a paint i'm a poet so putting together a tour for my book i'm working on two books so wow like you know just working on creating residual income and being able to go to performances and have something to sell in order to make money off of that just thinking of streams of income to reach my ten thousand dollar goal and i want to have an art show like for my grandma and her friends and maybe even other people so i can buy my art and support me you know yeah that's cute i like the idea i would have an art show for my grandma and her friends anyone ever said that that's creativity and you know that is that could be something right there markets even happen to because a lot of older people have money to spend have time on their hands don't have any like crazy obligations so they would love to be invited out for an evening out of you know some art and wine and you know a good time they can feel like special like that can they like that you know right see you know exactly what i'm talking about yep yep yep i see you i see what you're going with it now those services what are those services that you're going to offer um this is where my degree comes in because um i was talking to my dad i was like yo you put all this money into me to go to college i was like if i switch positions i'm not going to be necessarily in communications but i'll still be using the skills but i'm like how do i find a way to keep those skills fresh so with all the experience i have from like creating press kits and email marketing and social media management and just generally knowing how you know what to make sure a website looks good because personally i know that i click off of websites if something has felt wrong or you know the colors are too much i'm like this is not professional let's be honest if it's ugly yeah you know nobody wants to go to an ugly website or i always tell people you need to make your website look like something people want to live in they don't want to leave you know they just want to keep clicking around and hanging out there because it just feels so good because if it doesn't people are out their attention span is short and they don't have time to waste and also if you don't tell them why they're there like what is this website even about if i can't figure it out within the first few like scrolls then it's like you lost so yeah i agree with you on that one okay keep going um and before i do a little freelance after i left college within a year after leaving college but um i realized that one of my passions are people of color and like small business owners so oftentimes people with small businesses don't even know the first thing about social media they don't you know they just don't have the capacity to think about communications and public relations and marketing because they're so consumed with actually doing the job or the service that they offer so that's been a passion of mine i'm hoping to tap into that like i'm right in the dmv area there's so many small businesses that don't have social media or don't have a website or credibility established and that's just something i've been wanting to tap into yeah i think that's a very good idea for sure there's there's a lot to um to tap into like you said with those small business owners who are just not even digital you know like they're just they're brick and mortar maybe or things like that and they're just like you said doing a day-to-day and so they're they're not even realizing that they're leaving money on the table by not catering to this whole digital market and letting people know that hey i'm here you know exactly yeah that's another thing too like if i'm looking for something to eat like a place like take out food or something and i go to somebody's website and it's like if i want to try something different and let's say i go to like somebody's website and it's like i don't know uh maybe like greek food or something and i go to the website because i've never heard of the place and the website looks like oh it's hard to navigate no menus like i'm not really so likely to try it but they might have great food but their digital presence just sucks so yeah i think there's a lot of opportunity there it's just a lot of pounding pavement and getting your name out there and getting that word of mouth going because that's what happens that small business owner community is small so once you get going and start doing some really good work for a few people then they'll start telling other people and then you can use them as references and stuff too it's just getting over that hurdle of that idea of wait do i really need to spend money on this you're probably gonna have to show them how they need to spend money on it why they need to spend money on it you know what things they need to be considering and also what the return on that on that investment will look like because that's going to be their big thing too let me write that down i'll be letting them know yeah and you know i think that's one of those things where we a lot of us we look at it one side right oh this is what i can do this is what i can bring to the table but especially when you're talking about people who you know they're working really really hard for every dollar that they bring in they want to know how that money is spent they have to know how that money is spent and if it actually makes sense for them so you have to sort of prove that point to them and sometimes it can be an uphill battle because they're not as familiar with the digital side there's probably going to be an education piece that has to happen as well where you have to let them know you might even have to give them some examples or show them what some of their competitors are doing so that they can see the added value they can see okay this actually makes sense or you know i was wondering how they did xyz now i know now you're telling me if i just do xyz then i can get the same results they have so and people like that love numbers so i'm really like you know the analytics like well this social account went up 600 over the course of three months like you can do exactly exactly i'm excited for you this is a lot of good stuff that you have brewing and um the the thing that i'm most excited about is that you're embracing the change you know you're not sitting and being super fearful about things you have a very optimistic mindset about everything and you're just like super open so i'm excited for you and you know what i want to ask you this too tell us what because i know we sort of touched on it before tell us what you find yourself doing to sort of keep yourself in maybe like a positive headspace a happy healthy headspace and also maybe some of the tools that you use to sort of navigate just day to day you know what kinds of things do you find yourself doing or in need of um so over the course of this period i have been reading a lot i've also took i did like a social media a week-long break and i'm considering taking another week off because there it's just so much clarity and i started consuming different information not like what my friends were doing or what other people were doing um because even today i think today was the first time the first full day i have like been on instagram again and i found myself looking at people's like instagram stories and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be doing something i'm like calm down and um so i've been reading books about finances because i get uneasy when my finances aren't like you know in order the way i want them so i'm using the time to just feed myself with the things that will prepare me for when the money comes like okay your budget is intact your financial goals are intact um but outside of like stuff like that emotionally um i say affirmations i have i do have a standard affirmation affirmation that i'll share like later um but things like that i talk to my friends about how i'm feeling um my best friend especially because we have been on this professional journey together a lot but she always has something good to say and i always i try to return the good energy back and uh sometimes i meditate i want to meditate more i work out now with my cousin that has definitely helped like having someone else to hold me accountable like let's do some cardio like we need to release whatever and you feel good after you might not want to do it before all the time you might not feel like it after yeah yeah so that definitely helps like just know okay i always tell myself half of that was getting to the gym once we get there we have a good workout usually yeah yeah as i sit here talking to you right now in my workout clothes i finish working out and i was like okay we got to do this so yeah i absolutely agree you got to push yourself sometimes yeah i think the main thing for me now like i create a bunch of to-do lists my like since i don't have a job to go to every single day i need to create a way to make myself feel like i'll accomplish something and the gym helps or like reading a chapter of a book like it's just like okay you did something you're investing in your future one way or another whether it's physically whether it's reading a book about finances read a book about my emotional well-being like stuff like that it's just you know putting positive stuff inside of me and i feel accomplished by it yeah what's one thing that you've consumed or read uh maybe about your emotional well-being or just or anything else um that you would love to share with everybody else or somebody listening who might be you know in a similar space as you are so one of the writers for the sugar zine that i'm at energy for her name is cole lawson and her instagram she's always like and like she's always giving like positive things she sends out weekly emails about like things to do to just stay motivated and to keep investing in yourself and knowing that you're worthy i also read this blog called um the colony it's my friend's blog from high school and it's just it's nice to have a male perspective on emotions because men i don't hear men talk about emotions as much as i want to and the ones that do i tend to cling to them oh my gosh evolving and things like that so i cling to it so um his blog is becalling.com yeah just like general conversations with my friends i'm reading a book about called brave healing by laura defranco that's really good it's it's a whole lot of writing exercises i've probably never written about my emotions this much in my life i used to drown a lot but it's like set a time for five minutes right i feel or yeah happens i feel and i'm just like oh my god and it just all comes to the surface and you're like that makes sense now i'm like this because of that and you know i'm figuring myself out a lot with this time that's good that's good i love it doing the work that's what i call doing the work you gotta do the work to get yourself on the other side so that you know what you want you know what it looks like you know how you want to feel all of that good stuff yeah that's that's perfect so we discussed um you possibly having a little something special for us oh yes so that's the affirmation that i put together it's i would say naturally things come out poetically even if they're not like intentional but my affirmation is just something i say to myself and it keeps me feeling i would say comforted like perceptive so here is i am super fine loving full of light creatively free loved and accepted guided and protected provided for infinitely i'm everything dope and amazing and all that is me that's it oh i love it i felt it i closed my eyes while you were saying oh i love it i love it that is amazing you are just you're just so cute and talented i love it i always like even to my mom like my mom is feeling discouraged i'm like mommy what are you talking for you i love and accepted guided and protected and provided for infinitely that's my favorite part of it like no matter what i'm going through i can say that to myself and just calm down like your stress level just who like you're loved and accepted you're good you can breathe yes so thank you so much for sharing your story with us i appreciate you of course thank you for having me this was amazing well let everybody know before we go how they can keep up with you find out more about you and just follow your journey of course so my stage name as a poet is gradalove that is g-r-a-d-a-l-o-v-e you can find me on instagram twitter and facebook also have a website gradalove.com so yeah if you're in the bmv area i post about um the events i'm performing and i thank you so much hun and um everybody else i hope you guys enjoyed this let us know you know how you felt about this episode of dm me dm chantelle and um make sure that you just keep going that's the main thing just keep going and as always keep telling it yes