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We're going solo today. It's just me and you. I wanted it to just be me and you because I think this is a very intimate topic. We're going to be talking about fear and our relationship with fear.
I'm going to share with you my relationship with fear. A part of the reason that this topic came to mind was because in an interview once I responded to a question by partially saying, if I were being my most fearless self and that sparks something in the interviewer, he noticed and it sparks something in me. I realized what I said, especially when he said it back to me. It was almost admitting that every day and everything that I do, I'm not always being my most fearless self and on some level I'm aware of that.
So we'll get to what I would do if I were being my most fearless self. We'll get to that in a bit. First, I wanted to think back. Think back to the first time that you felt fear and what that fear was regarding.
I think for me, it probably was something simple. Growing up, we moved a lot. My parents, they were young. We lives in the Bay Area.
It is expensive. For those who are not familiar, Bay Area is Northern California and although it's crazy expensive now, it's always been pretty expensive. My parents got married. We moved into an apartment.
That was me moving from my grandparents' house to an apartment with my parents. Eventually, we then moved to another apartment. So during the course of a while, that basically I had to change schools while I was in elementary, school, elementary, junior high, maybe a handful of times. I think the first time that I can really remember being fearful, like really fearful, was the first time that I had to change schools.
The first time that I knew that comfort zone that was once there was no longer going to be there. The first time that I realized that I was going to have to meet new people and I was walking into a situation all on my own. That is my earliest memory of fear. I can also remember my mom talking me through the nights before I had to do something that I was fearful about starting a new school.
She would tell me all the reasons why I was going to be okay. She would give me comfort in knowing that I was strong enough to do this. I think my mom secretly enjoyed the fact that I had to adapt to new situations because she knew that this was a part of life. This was something that was going to be a regular occurrence in growing as a person, in maneuvering your way through life.
Things don't ever stay the same. If they do, number one, it's probably boring. Number two, it means you're probably not making the kind of moves that you should be making, right? So as much as we all fear change, we got to embrace it because change is the element that helps us with growth, that helps us with succeeding, that helps us with so many things that we don't really attribute to change.
But there's a relationship. So that's my first memory of being fearful. Funny enough, that type of fear I am more so okay with now. Going into rooms where I don't know anyone, situations changing where let's say you have to start a new job or different things like that.
That kind of fear doesn't bother me as much now as it did when I was younger because when you're younger you think, oh, you're social life and the people you know versus who you don't know and all that. It means the world to you, right? Now I don't care about those things. The type of fear that I guess you could say shows up regularly for me now is more of a fear that I can't put my finger on.
I'm just realizing that now. I can't say that I can put my finger on what that fear is because it shows up in different ways at different points in time, right? It's not always the same feeling, but there is an awareness of it and it's probably similar for you. It's not that we're walking around with this one fear sitting on our shoulder.
It's that if you want to be your biggest, brightest, best and greatest self, you know that you're not going to be comfortable. So maybe that's what the fear is. It's being uncomfortable. Maybe that's the correlation.
I'm talking this through clearly because I think it's just very interesting, right? And how we all respond to fear. And I guess how I feel about fear now is something that I had to adapt. Once I started putting myself regularly in uncomfortable situations, I can't hold on to the fear.
I can't become best friends with it in the way that I allow it to hold me back. You know how some of those best friends they can hold it back. I have to be an acquaintance with fear. So I have to know that fear is there and I have to shake its hand and I have to welcome it and say hi, but I have to know when to let it go too.
I have to know when to walk away from it. And so that's what I think I'm getting better at doing as time continues to go on. And as I continue to put myself in situations that elicit some type of fear. So going back to that question of what would you do if you were being your most fearless self?
I'm going to tell you my answer, but I want you to answer as well. I want to know if you really thought about it and you didn't have to tell this answer to anybody else. There was nobody that was going to laugh at you, judge you, ask you any questions. What would you do if you were being your most fearless self?
How would you show up in this world? I'm going to tell you what mine is. And I'm telling you all my business, but it's okay because we friends like that. So if I were being my most fearless self, I would be an actress.
Now I've mentioned to you all before that during my switch career to quit transition, when I was deep in the midst of it, I was still working my corporate nine to five trying to figure out what was next for me. I've shared to you how I have taken all these classes and I was just doing all these things to explore myself and sort of understand myself better and to see what I was interested in. I said, if some of you remember that I took an acting class and a part of me taking that acting class was because there was an interest there, right? And I got in that class and there's room for the people.
And when I tell you that acting classes, they push you, they push your limits. So a lot of acting is memory, right? It's memory is stage presence. It's connection, making a connection with the audience.
It's delivery. It's all these things, all these things that having to do them at the same time scared the hell out of me. But I did it. And I think if I were being my most fearless self in truly living out my most fearless life, I would probably be an actress.
Ooh, there's something that just kind of like scares me about even saying that right now. Because I think that is such a although we look at it as such a celebrity driven holding people on this pedestal as entertainers, I think there's truly an art to it and a fearlessness that you have to have and a vulnerability as well that you have to have. And there's something very, very appealing about it. But there goes a butt.
I don't think that I could walk in those shoes. Ooh, that just makes me cringe to even say it. And who knows? Who knows what the future may hold?
Now that I've put this out here in the universe, you never know what could happen and what situations you might be put in and what opportunities might be given to you. That's why I wanted us to answer that question. What would you do if you were being your most fearless self? Because maybe in some way, and I don't want this to stop you from giving your answer, even if it's just allowed to yourself, maybe in some way this could make you attract what you would do if you were being your most fearless self.
And it could be subtle, right? Somebody could subtly help you in that direction or present things to you, that move you in that direction now that you've acknowledged it. Please don't be fearful of at least acknowledging it now because I said that though. I just really wanted to start thinking about how we process things and how we show up in different spaces and why we do some of the things that we do.
And fear has a lot to do with a lot of those different elements. So daily, I would say that I feel like on the journey that I'm on, I face fear. I face fear daily, whether it be fear because I don't know how to do something, but I got to wing it and do it anyway. Or I have to show up in a space that I'm not familiar with and do something that I'm not used to doing.
Or I have to speak to people that I feel like might be, you know, 10 levels ahead of me, you know, and I still have to show up and engage with them in a way that doesn't make me seem like, girl, what are you doing? So fear shows up every day for me. And I also think it's a good thing. This fear makes me feel like I'm progressing.
And I hope that you can tap into that positive side of fear as well. And when fear shows up for you, you can just remind yourself, it must mean that I'm progressing because if I'm fearful, I'm potentially doing something that I've never done before. And so when I get on the other side of that, that's progress. It's me taking steps in the right direction.
I want you to think about, as we leave this conversation, I want you to think about what you would do, obviously, if you were being your most fearless self, how you feel about fear, how you face fear daily, and how you can push yourself and challenge yourself with fear. How can you challenge yourself? And really what I'm asking you is how can you challenge yourself to grow? Thanks for hanging out with me on this solo episode.
I know we got deep in with a little bit of fear conversation. And sometimes it's an uncomfortable conversation. That's why I wanted to do this episode alone and you can listen to it alone. You can listen to it with friends.
It's totally up to you. But I really felt like this was something that we needed to tackle. We need to talk about it a little bit because we talk about it and passing in different spaces. But we need to start thinking deeper about these things because they do affect us.
Whether we like it or not, they affect us and they are there. They are there. Fear, elements of fear, change, challenges, all that stuff. It's not going away.
If you think it's going away, that means you think you're going to die. That was morbid, right? But I say that because these things are things that exist daily, whether we like it or not. And the only way that they will not exist is if we let go of the idea of living.
And if we resign to the fact that our life is over and if we go and maybe like cower in a corner and hide in a dark room somewhere, that's the only way that we won't encounter some of the things that are essential to helping us grow. Okay, I've said enough. I've talked enough. It's time for me to let you go and enjoy your world.
And I hope that you enjoyed this episode. If you did, be sure to share with a friend. And remember, let's keep those reviews coming on iTunes. If you haven't already done so, please drop by there.
And leave a review. That's how we boost the visibility for this show. And keep it going. Have an amazing day, my good people.
And as always, be good.