E22. The Cultivation of Relaxation - with Dan Doty, Men’s Coach

Everforward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Dan Doty. Dan has done it all, from writing, to meditation teaching, to men's coaching, to wilderness exploring, to podcasting, to filmmaking... Ashanti's relationship with Dan includes an appearance on Dan's podcast, as well as a retreat into Joshua Tree with Evryman. In this conversation, Dan and Ashanti explore the fronts and backs of their masks, and they reflect on what it means to break the "rules" of masculinity, and whether there are any rules to begin with. (1:54) Ashanti’s introduction. (4:25) Dan introduces himself, his background, and the wide variety of work he does and has done; then Dan and Ashanti recall past adventures, specifically an Evryman retreat at Joshua Tree. (8:23) Dan shares the front of his mask - strong, caring, creative. He shares how he makes sure to keep the front of his mask representative of his authentic self. (10:29) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, hard-working. He then ponders why he has never written “caring” on the front of his mask, and shares that he often struggles to find a balance between his funny self and his serious self when running the Ever Forward Club. (12:33) We learn about the similarities and differences between Dan and Ashanti’s experiences rubbing up against stereotypes as school teachers. (15:50) Dan shares the back of his mask - scared and full of fear, hopeless, angry, feeling as if he does not have things in his life together. We learn about how Dan feels all these things are connected, and connected to the state of the world. (17:55) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear, sadness, trauma. Ashanti relates to Dan’s feelings, and how his insecurities are connected to Ashanti’s tendency to compare himself to others. We learn the many ways that Ashanti wants to push his comfort zone in 2021. (21:22) The men explore the idea that, with our career and our passions, we are trying to create the things that we lacked in childhood. And, after we achieve some of these milestones, they reflect on the many mental barriers and distractions that exist that prevent us from continuing to move forward. (24:59) Dan shares what learned about vulnerability, mental health, and coping, while working on a pig farm in high school. (26:42) Ashanti and Dan discuss the “rules of masculinity.” They question whether they are indeed rules, or if they are the manifestation of men lacking the tools to healthily express feelings. (29:49) Dan shares how becoming a father further invigorates his work as a men’s coach, and Ashanti relates, with his work with young men. (32:22) Dan shares a final message, and how we can get in touch with him. --- Connect with Dan Doty Website: dandoty.com Evryman: evryman.com Instagram: instagram.com/danieldoty --- Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected] --- Connect with Ashanti Branch: Instagram:   instagram.com/branchspeaks Facebook:  facebook.com/BranchSpeaks Twitter:   twitter.com/BranchSpeaks LinkedIn:    linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch --- Send in a voice message: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message