E437 | Why We Make a Bigger Deal About Things in Our Head (and What to Do About It)

We’ve all done it. There’s a conversation we need to have—whether it’s making a request, delivering difficult news, sharing information, repairing a relationship, or even giving a speech or presentation. Yet before we ever say a word, we convince ourselves it’s going to go far worse than it probably will. We think we’re going to annoy somebody, bother somebody, ruin a relationship, lose an opportunity, or otherwise be viewed in a negative light. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the scientific principles behind why we do this. We’ll discuss why we have a negativity bias, why we tend to keep things to ourselves, why we avoid conflict, and why we’re so quick to assume people are going to disrespect us, deny us opportunities, misread our intentions, or see us differently than they actually do. We’ll also talk about first principles and practical strategies you can use to continue showing up in a way that’s genuine to you—without getting caught in a doom loop of overthinking that ultimately costs you opportunities or makes situations worse than they ever needed to be. For more on these topics, check out my new book, The Anti-Hero Advantage. It’s literally written to help people navigate hard conversations, conflict, self-doubt, and learn how to channel these challenges into strengths so they can become more effective and adaptable in any relationship—personal or professional. Published by Portfolio/Penguin Random House, it’s the most meaningful work I’ve ever done. Pre-order your copy today at TheAntiHeroAdvantage.com or on Amazon. And yes, I’ll be narrating the audiobook myself.   WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:   •⁠ ⁠ Why your brain creates worst-case scenarios •⁠  ⁠How to better manage the narrative in our minds •⁠  ⁠How to avoid catastrophizing •⁠ ⁠ Why we avoid difficult conversations •⁠ ⁠ A simple framework to stop making monsters out of moments   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb