Early Recovery Slogans and Mantras

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and CSAT Jon Taylor consider the implications of two-person psychology and how cheating and betrayal never affect just one person. Jon shares common early recovery mantras as they apply to the two-person psychology filter, then answers listener questions about lying, sobriety, and disclosure.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Mantras for early recovery in the two-person psychology filter. [3:06] "Focus on your side of the street."  [6:01] Living with uncertainty in your relationship - "He will relapse if he's going to relapse."  [9:15] Whatever you put in front of recovery, you will lose.  [14:08] Does your partner need to tell you everything?  [20:09] "All addicts are…" The danger of broad sweeping statements.  [24:15] "Sobriety will solve all relationship problems."  [29:32] How can I overcome my fear of full disclosure?  [34:55] Should I move out because my partner is uncertain about my recovery?  [39:15] "Don't go to the hareware store looking for bread."  [42:45] My husband altered his disclosure after his lie detector results came in. How can I ever trust him?  [45:57] How much of the past should we spend our time discussing?  [49:12] Are lies of omission typical of addicts?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: [email protected] Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "You don't quite get the whole picture of healing, change and recovery if you're not thinking in terms of two-person systems."  "What happens on one side of the street affects the other side too."  "He will relapse if he's going to relapse."  "Each partner should be able to explain in simple terms why or why not something should be discussed."  "Living with intention can only be achieved by two people working on a relationship and constructing it in a co-equal way."  "Sobriety is a prerequisite to building a healthy relationship, but it is not the mechanism that a healthy relationship is built with."  "It doesn't have to feel good every step of the way to get a good outcome." "You can't have serious safety and security in a relationship if you don't take it seriously."