Eating While Crying Episode 6: But Really, Who Am I Without This?

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, identity, and recovery. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery.This week Ashley and Shea dig into one of the most disorienting parts of recovery: figuring out who you are when your eating disorder has been running the show. They talk about how the ED quietly takes the reins — thriving on inattention, missed signals, and isolation — and what it takes to start taking them back. They explore the gap between who you thought you'd become after treatment and who you actually are, why recovery feels like it should be a mountain peak moment but keeps turning out to be more of a series of scrambles up and down, and what genuinely grows when the disorder starts to shrink: empathy, joy, a sense of style, the ability to eat pasta again.Terms & Resources MentionedPHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) – More intensive than IOP; typically full days, 5 days/week, but you go home at night.IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) – A structured treatment program typically 3 days/week, a few hours per day. A step down from PHP.Res (Residential Treatment) – 24/7 supervised care in a treatment facility; the most intensive level before inpatient hospitalization.Stepped up / stepped down – Clinical language for moving to a more or less intensive level of treatment based on current needs.Parts Work (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that treats the psyche as made up of distinct "parts," some of which carry pain or protective roles. Referenced when talking about reintegrating rejected aspects of identity.Get HelpNEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.orgCrisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centersA Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.