Hello and welcome to Day to your Ego Mariosol podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Fina, and I am an ego and soul enthusiast. We can no longer be strangers to our egos and how they function. So come join me as we find out why and how this philosophy of dating your ego but marrying your soul is true and useful for you.
Breathe right, think right, live right. Now when it comes to birth, we have all prepared ourselves or rather braced ourselves for the worst time in the hospital but the best time after. The hospital bit somehow seems to be a mystery, something totally out of our control and we all put up a brave front and do our best. However, here is a wise teacher of ecstatic birthing who wants us to know of another way of giving birth, an orgasmic way.
Yep, you heard it right. If you're intrigued, stay tuned. She also does something very, very simple. She teaches you how to think about your breath so you can think about your life in a better way.
With a master of ecstatic living, breathing and birthing, Benny A. Dansby. Benny, welcome to the show. Thank you for joining us today.
How are you? I'm very well. Thank you and really happy to be with you. Oh, I'm honored.
Thank you. Benny, I am in awe of depth and breath of your work and I really feel inspired to share your philosophy with the world. Could we begin by talking about what is a source process in breath work? Well, it's a source process in breath work has evolved over the years.
The name coming from Mother Source, the universal source, it's a philosophy, it's a practice, a spiritual practice, and it's a system that I've created to relieve the stress patterns in the body and in our thought system. So I use the breath as an interpretive tool mainly for supporting, identifying, very, very deeply held negative decisions that we made when we took our first breath, that source breath and that we really influence us all through our lives. The philosophy is based on the fact that we are conscious, making decisions not sophisticated necessarily, but definitely decisions both mentally and somatically from conception through all of our lives, but especially the source of, I think, the patterns in our lives and our most fundamental beliefs held in the subconscious are in the, like I said, conception two years old for our first 1,001 days. All of the philosophers, teachers, healers, therapists I have met, you were the first one to ask me, how was your birth?
And I really want the audience to capture this element of you because it is so unique. Can we talk about why how we come in is so important? Oh my goodness. Well, the truth is, as I mentioned, we are sensory beings.
We hear. We are educable in the womb. We're learning. We're making conscious, not as I said, sophisticated decisions, but we're part of mother's thought system, not just a part of her physical system.
When mother is happy, we're flooded with lovely hormones. When mother is not happy, we are also flooded with those hormones. I think most people do not realize that the only active parts of the physical body inside mother before birth are the heart, the brain and the nervous system. All other systems are taken care of by the placenta.
We can hear, for instance, we can hear what's going on around mother. There's huge influence prenagley. Then our first encounter with the world, it's like landing on another planet. We are then water mammals and we are a water mammal until we take that first breath.
So it's exceedingly significant the first breath because I think we take in the consciousness around us, not just the air. Heavenly days know we take in the energies all around us and very often in high-tech situations. There's a lot of fear. We are encountering sensory experience that we've never ever had before.
We've been in water. We've been coming in encountering soft surface. Suddenly, there is a drop in temperature because it's hot in there. Really hot in there.
We come into a room, unless we come into warm water, we come into a room that's the right temperature for people who are dry and wear and close. At the same time as that temperature is dropped, we encounter sound because water in the ears causes sound to be very different than when the water rushes out. Very often, because people are afraid that we're not going to breathe, which is, I think, pretty insane since man has been taking a breath for eons. They shake us or rub us or all of those things are hugely intrusive.
On a being that really needs to take its time, the rhythm of a newborn is really different. Anyway, the whole story of sensory overload is temperature, sound, touch, and then they cut the umbilical cord. The umbilical cord is so often cut immediately, leaving one-third of our blood inside mother in the placenta so the body has to really gear. Now, when we take the first breath, we cause.
I'm freezing. Gravity is pressure on me. I'm hearing sounds I've never heard before and I am startled into taking a breath and I take in three to four times more oxygen than I've ever experienced before. That sets off valves closing, otherwise opening.
The blood flow completely changes in my body and now my major organs have to come online because they've cut me off from my supply. They've cut me off from the only body in mind I've ever known. Most very, very often, they've taken me over to a little table to scrub me up and poke me and see if what's wrong with me. It's torture of an innocent, I think, Frederic LeBois, I called it that in his book, Birth Without Violence.
Prescott in the 1960s did research at the National Institutes of Health in the United States. He said the origins of violence are right there in the delivery room and we still don't pay attention to that. It's why I've been advocating for gentle, conscious birth for 35 years. Since before, well, actually for 50 years, my youngest, my ecstatic birth, my orgasmic birth was 50 years ago last December.
Oh, wow. I learned in my body that it is possible to have, even in hospital. And then of course, I worked with a couple who had the first water birth in the United States in 1980 and we prepared for that birth. Just as I prepared for my son's birth, after giving birth to his brother two years before, when I came out of the hospital, I said, there's got to be a better way or I'm not doing this.
I had been paying attention to my design career and my singing career before that. I had never held a baby younger than six months old when they handed me my baby boy and I'm shocked. But his birth was shocking. When we left the hospital, I said, I'm going to find a better way or I'm not doing that again.
So it seems like the reason how we come in is so important is because it's our beginning, so to speak, the child's beginning and it's also, well, if it's the first child, the woman's beginning as a mother, isn't it? And together, they're sort of beginning the cycle of love and a vibrational energy that's going to go out into the world. And so that's very important. So it determines what choices we make about the birth.
I will come back to this later because I do want to talk a bit about how what we want doesn't happen necessarily. Right. And we will. The thing that is important to always remember is that the consciousness at the birth is what's the most important.
Yes, we carry, you see, we carry these memories in our bodies. I mean, I've been so happy in the last few years that there has been more and more consciousness about the trauma held deep in the cellular structure and all of the work with PTSD. But I think every person who has gone through a modern high-tech birth in a hospital has PTSD at some form or another. But we carry the memory of everything that's ever happened to us in the mammalian brain in the what's called the emotional brain.
And that part of the brain does not have language. The body is the language. That's the subconscious. And we remember it all and can access it.
That's what source process of breathwork is about. It's depth work. So would you say that at birth, that beginning is where our egos begin? Yes.
And I think the ego that most people refer to, and I love the title of this of your work. I just love it. Oh, thank you. Because it's so descriptive.
You see, I think that I call what happens at birth is the development of the protective ego. You see, I think with a body and feelings, sensation is about having a body, feelings, having a body. And the ego is necessary. The ego is a part of that being physical.
But it's supposed to be the servant, not the one who runs the show. But, and if I've been born in the way and this I've discovered over time with my clients, and I've been doing this work since 1976. It's a long time. And then working for 30 years with large groups, training groups.
And I began to hear my clients saying very specific things that were repeated over and over. And it didn't matter whether it was, I lived in Los Angeles, whether it was a film producer or a dancer or an actress or a writer or a mom. It didn't matter who it was. It's like when they would begin to breathe and access those deeper levels.
They would begin to express very similar things. And those are, it's not safe to be in a body. There's no one here for me. There's no support.
It hurts to feel. And I don't have choice about it. Now that's the protective ego must keep me safe. Because in the essence of being, the essence of, I think everyone is innocent, purity, light, love.
If you look into the eyes of your infant or any newborn, you will see only wonder and love. That's it. That's the essence of being. Now the protective ego comes up, not safe.
No one here for me has to do this all by myself. So I call those the archetypal negatives and others, all this stuff for each one of the chakras. But anyway, so I think the ego, personally, I believe that the ego is necessary, but not as the boss, but as the one that gets me up and takes me out every day. If I didn't have an ego, I wouldn't be here with you right now.
I wouldn't be having this interview. You said some very interesting thing that I am going to bring them up later, but I did want to mention at this point, even if a mother, after giving birth, has PTSD, I find in today's society, people have very little time to express your repair. So I feel like that's the reason what you do is so important because it's not just the women. So I feel like everyone around them, the midwives, the husbands, the family at large, everyone needs to hear about this stuff so that as groups of human beings, we can actually fully heal from our respective births.
Absolutely. Everyone is triggered by birth. This is why the people in the hospital have to have all these protocols because if they didn't, their emotions would just overwhelm them. It's exceedingly important, for instance, you know, that I work with the breath, I work with accessing and feeling more and more comfortable with higher and higher levels of energy.
And this is, you know, if you and I had had a, well, we've got a lot to discuss about the work, the little bit of work that we were able to do together because I feel like I'm really on it again about birth and I may just start teaching my birth preparation program again. I'm feeling really, really strongly about so many of the births I'm hearing about. I've worked so much with women who have had extreme experiences that were absolutely not necessary. I can't wait to get to that part.
I do want to first touch upon archetypal affirmations. That's a very special part of your system of teaching and to me personally, having had the privilege and experience of working with them every day, they seem to be a way to refine our ego's experience and connect us with our souls. I would really like it if you could tell our audience what they are and how these affirmations might interact with them and refine their life. Well, that's, you know, the essence, one essence purpose of source, process and breathwork, is to integrate the archetypal affirmations as a counter to the archetypal negatives because I don't think that we have to go looking for what's wrong.
The archetypal affirmations are designed to bring to the surface anything in your consciousness that's unlike them so that you can make a choice because we're walking around with certain thought forms about how life is that we're not even aware of. They are at the subconscious level. So you know, it's like, you'll find, you know, you'll say, I want to have this be this way and you prepare for something to be a certain way and it ends up another way or you end up doing something else. And why am I doing that or why am I saying that when I wanted to express this?
Because there's a whole other level that's operational. And so if I just in essence support you to acknowledge that your body is safe, no matter how you might be feeling, it's highly likely that the thought, now that's not true. If I go down, you know, and this whole conversation goes on about how your body is not safe and what you want to do is listen to that. So archetypal affirmations are points of contemplation.
They are my body is safe, no matter how I might be feeling. It's true. The body is a communications device. Actually, if there is a pain, it's not an attack.
It's not that my body's not safe. It's my body's communicating with me. If I affirm and integrate the thought that my body is safe, I literally will not put myself in dangerous situations in order to prove my mind right. So my body is safe, no matter how it might be feeling, it's the fundamental archetypal for the root chakra.
The second one is I'm surrounded by love and support from all the divine beings in my life. It's just wholly essential. I also, everything and everyone in physical form is here to support me in physical form. That's not the ego speaking.
That is the truth. Everything is either attack or support, and that depends on our perception of it. It is so true, so true. So that's the second chakra.
The color is orange. The third is the solar plexus, and that is all of my feelings are safe. All of the sensations in my physical body are absolutely safe. It's energy registering, and I choose how I express and use my energy.
I can have an explosion in my solar plexus, and I can say, I'm angry. I'm angry or I'm terrified or I can say, oh my God, something wonderful is about to happen. Same sensations. I was just going to say, when you spoke about same sensation, we're not aware.
We've already decided a certain feeling means negative and a certain feeling means positive. Exactly. Right. Okay.
We can change our minds. We can. Yes, and you're going to help us do it. Our true power, power is not about energy.
Power is about choice of how to use that energy. Now, if you're still identifying certain sensations in your body, the way you did when you were two years old, or when you were born, which many people are, then it's like, I'll have a sensation in my body and say, oh my God, you know, I'm really, really angry. Well, what is that is actually the explosion before you got separated from your mother, or when they were doing all these things to you and your body was in total chaos. And you felt helpless, hopeless, and powerless.
If you can breathe, allow yourself to feel those feelings, you can use that energy for if I have a choice here now. What do I want to do? What do you say that I choose to express that's going to move me forward? Now, that takes practice and it takes time.
It takes energy, but it absolutely can happen very quickly if you do the work. Human consciousness needs consistency just like babies. It also strikes me as something that unless you are told about it or made aware, they are subconscious patterns, really. They're not hanging, I mean, the effects are quite obvious in the way you're reacting to things.
However, because you're not aware, you don't know where they come from. And you don't know why you should heal them and how that would have an impact on your life. You're just not aware and you should be aware. It's good to be aware.
There's no shirts really. Waking up is what this whole thing's about, really, you know, exploring. We are explorers, actually. If we want to be, we're exploring the edges, you know, and growing.
It's an exciting adventure that's being alive. If I'm safe and I'm supportive and my feelings, I know that I have a choice about how to use my energy, that there's something wonderful going on here, you know, and I can then operate from I am innocent. I have good intentions. My intentions are pure.
So if I make a mistake, I can correct it. If I'm walking around thinking I'm guilty and I personally did found out in my very first breast session that I had been walking around for 32 years, 33 or something years thinking that I had been serious, you know, had caused all of my mother's pain at my birth. I came out of that session weeping. I didn't mean to do it.
I didn't mean to do it. And it came from the center of my being. I was at the, I mean, I was a relatively successful designer. I had two children.
I was a single mom. You know, I was a very empowered woman. Give me a breath underneath everything I thought I was guilty. But innocence is the doorway that we have to go through to get to everything else.
And I think the other thing that you said there empowerment is something we will march cities and streets for, but we won't do it within ourselves, you know, and it's the only way because empowerment comes from every society is made up of individuals. Our cultural norms must be softened. Our personal cultural norms must be softened. We must integrate safety.
It's the key to health and wellbeing, safety and innocence. I'm convinced of it. I think there's a drive. There's a revolution almost in everything you're talking about.
You're calling for us to have a new, to be awakened to a new set of ways of living and experiencing this life that are different from what our environment dictates because nobody can escape any other things that you've just mentioned. Nobody can escape pressure. No, but everyone's just constantly coping and has coping mechanisms, defense mechanisms. That's how we're trained by the world we live in, the society we live in.
But that does not have to be our own personal experience. No, it doesn't. And they can be two sets of rules, which is really good to know because I don't think a lot of people know that. I think that the statement being in this world and not of it is a very, you see, I don't think that I simply want to be at peace with myself.
And then that resonates around me and it does. And then that causes an effect with the effect that people feel safe with me. Safe, innocent, allows me to express myself. And heaven knows what I'm going to say next.
But I'm learning. I'm listening to you know. And you're alive. You're alive.
You know, after meeting you and working with you and reading your work, I decided to call this season the ecstatic season. I love it. That's why you bring to the world. And I would really like to talk about ecstatic birthday.
What the hell is ecstatic birthday? Well, I would like to bring in, I would read something if I can find it that I wrote about ecstasy because I found it today. And I really, really, really like it as a, I'd just like to share it with you. It's very quick.
It's this ecstasy in present time with no past or future. No wrong or right. No bad or good. I'm not saying all sensation without measure or label.
Just right. Open to receive and to give balanced one moment that is forever. Always now. That's beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that. Thanks to see and ecstatic birth is not about the absence of feeling. You know, I noticed many years ago that women went to birth preparation class because they wanted to learn how not to feel. They wanted to learn how to have no pain.
And the truth is pain is resistance. We do have, you know, there's a lot of pressure. Birth is intense. No more intense situation ever in life than giving birth.
And it's just so absolutely wonderful that I'm a woman and I could feel that. But and if I think it's going to hurt, it will. If I have a way of working with it, for instance, saying yes to all the sensations in my body, the truth is when we say no, the brain releases stress hormones. Just walking down the street, you know, no to when you say, if you say no to addiction, no to, you know, you're going to know to starches, no to you're setting up stress in your body.
If you say yes, yes to a starch free week and orphans are going to be released. I mean, they have just proven this, which is amazing, not just now, but you know, it has been proven. So many people call working with me and they have called births yes births. And as you say yes, and if you have no other painkillers in your body, your body generally will release all the painkillers that you need.
All the receptors are there to receive them and you can open and give birth in a transcendent. Also, one of the things that has been found about transcendence, interestingly enough, is being on the hands of knees or being on your knees or being in a squat. All of the ways that is ideal for giving birth, ecstasy is a transcendent event, really. You know, it's a non-ordinary state for sure.
But I think that more and more in life as well as in birth, if we're open to saying yes to what's going on, if we are in a state of acceptance, compassion, choosing, yes, slow can happen. The energies that are the right energies, the most appropriate energies can move us forward. I love everything that you have just said. And I love that there is the possibility of ecstasy at birth.
And I understand conceptually and from my heart even, that giving ourselves permission to feel safe and feel all our feelings can transcend us into higher state. However, however... It's another factor that I have not mentioned. What is that?
And that is the highest quality support. And that is what I think you did not have. And if I may just follow on from that, and it's a good point to do this because from my NCT group of women and also from speaking to family friends who had babies, I can see and feel that the awareness and the desire to birth a child calmly and in a beautiful way, in a connected way, brings true with almost every woman. Every mother wants to give that to the child.
However, wants to give it to herself, trustfully. Wants to give it to herself. Yeah, and that's something we don't think of. We only think of what we can give the child.
But it really turns into reality. So out of my NCT group, say that we're 10 or 12 women, I think one woman had an ecstatic birth. All the way. And she felt the connection with other women when she was, you know, finally.
And other than that, everybody had quite a difficult experience. Either pre-aclamsia or tearing or emergency c-section or sepsis as in my case. But trauma seemed to be written into most, if not all, but stories. And what you're calling for is something so different.
It's revolutionary. It has to take place in the individual before that birth, before that first real rush. You know, we're experiencing one of the things that I always tell the women that I work with. And you see, I think it takes time.
I don't know. You know, I've walked in and supported a woman in the middle of labor. And she had a transcendent experience because we really connected. And she had been doing, you know, it's like, I don't know.
But I know time is really important for human consciousness, as I said earlier. And to practice. And for everyone, it is different. But that the deepest places have got to be encountered and engaged with.
And there has to be a safety with engaging there, no matter what. And I do know that what happened for you, you did that. Even in your darkest moments, you were having conversations with your highest highest self. And I wish you hadn't had to do that.
I mean, I think it's dangerous to put oneself in the system personally. You have to be armed for bear if you are going to put yourself in the system. Why? I mean, I think you're just the most courageous being on the planet, you know.
What was key from that answer of yours was support. It was really having that high quality support. And what I found is I was very lucky in that the team around me were very good. Because I was very sick.
And I could infect others. I had the best doctors, the best doctors. Right. Okay.
I mean, it's not that I'm being ungrateful at the same time, just measuring everything practically. But I think support for more women by training say midwives in ecstatic words. So they can have that conscious words. And so they can, so people can be more encouraged to think in this way is what is key.
And how that plays out with governments and budgets and money saving is yet another conversation. I mean, we could do an entire season on that. But it's good to know and it's good that you highlighted that support is so key. And from my experience and from people that have written in, I feel the pain and the suffering, the physical suffering and the trauma around the event activates part of your egos that somehow block off your flowing, soulful energy.
The protective ego keeps you from your love. It keeps you from experiencing your love and giving love. It keeps you from experiencing the love of the people around you. Protective ego, if I'm not safe, I don't know if it's me that's not or you're that's not you.
That is, you know, if I think I've done something wrong, if there's something wrong, I'm guilty, I'm ashamed, it's so uncomfortable. I have to project it out and blame other people. You see, I think that everyone in the medical community that has created this, yes, I mean, big farm, I mean, get into that for it. But they've all done it to make mother more comfortable, but they haven't made mother more comfortable.
Yes, the intention is right. The intentions are good, but the outcome isn't. And now they don't even know literally they don't even know how to do it any differently. I mean, I have had, I've heard stories that just make my blood curdle friends of mine who had a home birth, a water birth and quite wonderful here in England.
But the doctor, they went, she was 48 years old at the time and it was her first baby. And the doctor said, you know, you'll die if you don't come into the hospital and have this baby. Now I beg your pardon. That's a big imprint, you know, an authority.
Oh, yeah. My writing partner had a breach delivery 17 years ago in Clapham Junction. She had a private midwife because she went there, or baby, they found that she was breach and told her, you know, that she would have to have a cesarean section. And so being a really highly intelligent woman, she went off and did research.
And she found that the Canadian study that is the basis for all the beliefs at this rate, even to this day, that you have to have a cesarean with a breach of birth, with a breach of baby. That study is flawed and Lynn found out, you know, and so then she found a midwife who would support her. She has quite a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, very alive 17-year-old daughter, who was born upstairs in their house in Clapham at the time. So I, you know, there are many ways to do things, many, many different ways.
And, you know, I have a sense about you, Cera Fina, that, you know, now that you've experienced this, you can do it another way. Oh my gosh. You think? You think?
Oh my gosh. I want to move on to the questions. But before I do that, there's this bit on your website that I think is so relevant to bring up here. And it's the study you talked about that was published in England in May 2001 that showed only 7% of women have a normal physiological birth.
And in your reaction to it, you say that isn't good enough. And that means aren't assembly line products. And I completely agree with that. However, just the sheer amount of human beings that are giving birth on this, on the NHS system is making it like an assembly line.
It is. And as a result of that, what you say about birth seems to be true that everybody gives birth to more fear about birth. Because when I, when I got home, I was like, oh my God, am I ever going to do this again? What the hell was I thinking?
What the hell was I thinking? I'm not surprised that you are right. You know, I consider myself relatively intelligent, you know. When I made that statement in the car on the way home from my first birth, I truly meant it.
My, my, my boy's father was like a bit shocked. I was so passionate about it. You know, I said, we know too much about ourselves. There has got to be a better way.
Yeah. Yeah. So hopefully you are going to change that for the world. Darling, I've been working on it for a very long time.
At least there are, and there are quite a lot of people who are, which is quite wonderful. Well, that's good because it gives me hope. I'm going to move on to our questions. So our first question is about preparation for the next birth after having had a traumatic one.
The person asking the question said that they sort of developed preeclampsia, which was not picked up on in time. And so they've had a horrendous birth experience and they don't trust any of the books or influencers or followers that they've been following or authors and they really want to know how to get it right the next time. So yes, what would you say to that? I would say that I need to, I would need to speak with her more in depth, but that she needs to do some depth work.
In this moment, just that little snippet, she sounds passionate about it. She sounds like she wants to do it again. That's a good beginning. I've often said that I actually trained for my orgasmic birth, like I was going to the Olympics.
I did something every day. I worked on my briefing because I was doing classical lemons. I drove 100 miles both ways for my birth preparation in Chicago. I was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at the time.
I'd make this 200 mile trip eight or 10 times, I think. Every day I was thinking about it. I was reading something about it. I had to do all the research because my doctor, this is 50 years ago, my doctor in Milwaukee, Wisconsin didn't know.
And there had been one book in English written about it, but I found some books at the library and I had some things translated. And so I took those things to my doctor. My doctor, my obstetricia gynecologist at the very sweet, he ended up being the go-to guy for having lemons deliveries. And because he really, he learned all about it.
Anyway, my doctor moved and he literally stood back and watched my partner, my husband and I do the birth. And at one point, he came because classical lemons training is like a lot of physiology, a lot of pictures, a lot of breathing. And he came and he said, I'd really like to check you. Is that okay?
Because he didn't quite, you know. And I said, well, I think I'm about, I took a deep breath and finished a contraction. And I looked at him and I said, I think I'm about eight centimeters because I had a vision. And I knew what eight centimeters looked like.
And with my eyes closed, you know, I thought, and he really, he was so startled. He looked at my husband first. He didn't look at me. He looked at my husband and he looked at me and he said, your eight centimeters dilated.
I said, yeah, and transitions coming on. And at that point, I had about a half an hour contractions and a baby. Oh, wow. Yeah.
But anyway, it was an orgasm. So, well, I mean, it's almost impossible to believe, honestly. And, um, no, it is. And they, my mother very angry.
Didn't. She didn't, she didn't, she didn't express her anger. I mean, she didn't, but you could tell it was underneath. It was like, and she kept saying, is that really true?
You know, and, and I think, yes, it's really true. It's like that was like that, you know, that I kind of betrayed the sisterhood, you know, because I was wondering, like, oh my God, that was amazing. Wow. Not supposed to do that.
No, you're not. I mean, people, I think women are generally very happy for each other when they hear that, you know, the growth has gone well because because they didn't have a good birth themselves. And I think what the mind said now is that I'm going to do my best for nine months and then whatever happens in that hospital happens. But when I come out, I'm again going to do my best.
However, there's a giant thing that happens in there to us and our hormones and our bodies and our consciousness and all of that that needs to be just discussed more so that the right choices can be put in place. And I think the other question or the other aspect of the whole birth and process for people who are coupled or have a birth and partner as a partner in life as well is that you have to have the partner on board. They have to be able to understand. I've always worked with both the father and my original conscious birth and program.
The husbands came. They were welcome. The thing is that it happened on a Wednesday morning and there were a lot of people who were in the movie business and things. And I mean, there was one father who came every Wednesday and he owned a garage that, you know, put cars back together or something.
I mean, you know, he was like a mechanic and he came every time. And then I had a Friday evening yoga and group breathe. They could come to and the fathers always came to that. But I want the fathers engaged and knowing what's going on because ecstasy is not just exclusively for females, you know.
And one moment, literally one moment of ecstasy can transform your life. I mean, and I've experienced it and had people experience it in breath sessions with me. To the woman who had preecant clapsia who wants to know what to do differently for sure, she needs to prepare in a way that's appropriate for her. And I could support her with that and would speak with her about that.
But you don't just, there's not a magic pill. No, no. And I think the thing that's so important to understand from what you're trying to do is that couples need to understand that birth of a child is such an opportunity, it's an opportunity to evolve as a being yourself, as a family, as a set of human beings, you know. And then the ripple effect from that is tremendously, that's what this work that you're doing is all about.
I think you are, when you say date your ego, marry your soul, you are calling for people to evolve. After you are making a call for evolution, conscious evolution. And this is something I've been talking about for a very long time. If you birth consciously, if you birth with clarity about what's really going on, and you dig deep and acknowledge and face everything that is going on, you consciously evolve yourself, you cannot help but move and grow.
What's the next question? There was another question. Well, very, very beautifully leads on to the next question. And I'm going to read it as I've written it because it's important.
I have had the good fortune to be your student. And one of the gateways to my own empowerment as a woman, as a human being, as a conscious being was your constant reminder to use the word yet. And I call it, and I think of it as the bini, yes, bini, eight dance beats. Yes.
And if there's one thing I want to share with listeners is it's power and significance. So in your own words, what is bini, eight dance beats? Yes. What is it?
It's being willing to say yes to everything, no matter what. Because the moment, as I said earlier, the moment you say yes, and dorphins are released. In that moment, things open, okay? It actually, yes, makes me smile, especially if I say yes in the most intense and apparently difficult situations.
It always makes me kind of giggle on the inner. What are you doing? Yes, this is happening. And then a solution comes.
Then I know exactly what to do. Now I have had people in my trainings over the years have yes days. You do not tell somebody, you don't tell anybody. There have been quite a few women and men who have said their partners were loved there yesterday.
I was going to say. But and it's a great practice. You know, very, very much an advocate of practice or with a Buddhist call practice of constancy there again, there's that word consistency. And the more you say yes, the more you find out what it is to say yes, yes to yourself.
And the thing is that when people don't realize is we all have a practice already. We all have a practice of saying no or being fearful or being well prepared or making sure nothing goes wrong. And I am set and he is in my control. All of those practices are to keep us safe.
Yeah. When the truth is behind that are safe. I had a lovely woman breathe with me yesterday who went away and made a video for her Facebook group. She has a large group of people and she said, I relaxed at a deeper level than I ever knew as possible.
And she said, and I came away realizing that my jaw had relaxed. Now that's really interesting because a relaxed jaw is one of the things that I advocate for a woman giving birth or for anyone as above so below and so to tell this and the jaw are directly connected. The jaw is the most powerful joint in the body. If it's tight, everything in your body will be tight in small ways.
So relax your shoulders, relax your jaw. A little tip for a relaxation along the way. But yes, yes, opens. No closes.
And you're also all about saying yes to the negative, to the pain, to the, because then you find that actually there is no negative, it's just life experience. It's just you're like, you see, we're naming negative. Pain is communication. Yes, yes.
All right. Yeah. And if you breathe, say yes, and you make room for the pain, if you make room for the discomfort, and you know, if you're pregnant, practice with anything, you know, with the pain in your leg or, you know, some discomfort in your back, take some deep breaths and just focus attention on it, send the breath there and imagine making room for it. Instead of going, no, no, no, and contracting, which will make it worse, make room for it so it can move and grow, it might intensify, but then it will change.
Because sensations in the body are like the weather, they're always changing. I love that. It's truly always are changing. I mean, when I learned that a contraction is almost never longer than a minute, I thought I'd do anything for a minute.
There's awareness waking up to possibilities. Waking up to possibilities. And really, for anyone listening who's then who's obviously quite moved by everything we talk of and is thinking, oh, but there must be a price I would encourage you to think about spending less on a pram and doing this is going to benefit you so much more. You know, prams cost about £2,000.
That's just amazing, isn't it? Beni, can I ask, where can our audience reach you to learn more about source breath work and ecstatic or thing? You can always email me. I'm very available and I really, really, really want throw in a, I've got to throw in a commercial here for a project, an art project, an amazing art project called zero to expo.com.
Okay. And it is based on a government initiative and a major show about the first one thousand and one days. And there's a group of scientists and artists who have contributed writings, paintings, and a former student of mine now, a colleague, Alex Schwartz, has created an exhibition that it's an art installation of 18 large panels, informing people about the impact of birth, about the importance of those first one thousand and one days on the baby's brain, it's psyche, and it's all about birthing a better future. And I'm so thrilled she came to a class that I taught this weekend and talked about the project.
She brought a couple of the panels and one of her favorite paintings of mine is on the one that has my writing on it. I'm very thrilled about that. The website is zero to the word to the number expo. And she's crowd funding because she's spent the last three years of her life doing this.
She's an artist, she's a magnificent artist. She's also written a book called the art of birth. So anyway, I'm really encouraging people. They're going to be at the Brighton Festival.
No, wow. And I'm going to be at the Brighton Festival on the Easter Monday. I'm going to be with that exhibition. So if there's anyone listening who is in that area that day, haven't seen me.
Oh, wow, this is great. I'm so glad you mentioned this. My god, this is going to be fascinating. I'm in Dover, but if I wasn't, I would be there.
I would change that. I will send you, Sarah Fina, her letter with all the, because you can see all the panels. You can read. There's just magnificent writing and information about this crucial time from conception to two.
That's so exciting. Wow. It's great. And why not always start at the beginning?
You know, why not? This is amazing. You're such a joy and, you know, such a source of wisdom and strength. Thank you so much for what you do, Bini.
Thank you. You're welcome. You are so welcome. And my email is biniad at gmail.com.
Okay. And my website, and you can get in touch with me through the website. All right. Well, I'm going to say goodbye and leave it there.
Thank you so much again. Oh, warm hugs to everybody. That was bini dansby. What an empowering start to season three.
We couldn't have had it better. A simple message with far reaching effects, conscious breathing, conscious birthing, conscious life, conscious planet. It is that simple. I leave you with this thought today.
Could the way you breathe or the way you hold your jaw, change the way you feel and change your day, make you happier. I think it could. So whatever else you do today, make a choice and make it to breathe consciously. And once you've had the opportunity to breathe 10 or 20 conscious breaths, if something comes up, a thought, a negative belief, even just curiosity about breathing.
Look up, Bini and email her. She's all yours as you heard. Just another way for you to take your ego, but marry yourself. This is your host, Sarpina, leaving you with a little more love for life.