Elevating Despair - Suicide Prevention, Grief and Healing

Every year on September 10th, individuals and organizations in over 50 countries connect and work together to prevent suicide, by supporting those who are struggling and to help those who are grieving. This year we will address this topic with Barbara Rubel the author of the fictional novel "But I Didn't Say Goodbye – Helping Families after a Suicide".  In her reader-friendly and well researched book, she addresses the loss of her father through suicide in a meaningful and thought provoking read, and discusses WHAT she learned in the process of grieving and healing. Barbara will share her unique approach to suicide prevention and post-vention, on how can develop personal resiliency and reclaim hope after loss in this month's "Bear Psychology radio show" on Realityradio101.com program. Whether you know someone who has attempted or completed suicide, or felt so much despair that you have considered it yourself ... we want to open up the dialogue today about this important topic. Let's start by clarifying that whatever is going on in your life today, the pain of the moment can elevate us to open up and and there are many people and sources of information that can provide relief. We will begin the conversation with two numbers and resource links so we have a safe reference point right from the start: In Canada: https://suicideprevention.ca/WSPD 1.833.456.4566 In the U.S.: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  1-800-273-8255 We discuss: The WHY of suicide Reflect on feelings of anger, guilt and grief Barbara's own experience of losing her father to suicide and how she was able to reconstruct meaning into her life after such a sudden loss Learn about her unique Dual Process Model and 4 Tasks of Grief and apply them to the impact of suicide loss Does the current COVID-19 Pandemic complicate grief from suicide of someone in your life? Barbara will reflect from the lens of her own tragic loss and personal experience. What do you do when your father dies by suicide while you are in the hospital awaiting the birth of your triplets? What do you do when you can't attend your father's funeral because physician orders include complete bed rest? What do you do when you realize that you experienced a devastating loss and that you are not alone in that experience? You write a book and dedicate your life to helping others affected by suicide. Barbara Rubel's fictional characters in "But I Didn't Say Goodbye" are a compilation of what individuals may experience throughout their lifetime as a suicide loss survivor. "But I Didn't Say Goodbye: Helping Families After a Suicide" tells the story, from the perspective of an eleven-year-old boy Alex and his family, as they are rocked by suicide and reeling from the aftermath. Through Alex's eyes, the reader sees the transformation of feelings after going through death by suicide. New to the book's 3rd edition, each chapter ends with Alex reflecting 10 years later on his experience, introducing family members and friends in his recollections. Barbara Rubel has combined our modern academic theories of grieving, and the research that supports those theories, and then translated them into a readable story for anyone bereaved by suicide. The revised edition is an evidence-informed and contemporary treatment of a devastating form of loss that uses the artful device of a hypothetical case study to render it in human terms. Through the story, the reader understands what losing someone to suicide might be like for a family, how to make meaning of the loss, and ways to experience personal growth. This self-help book was revised to provide guidance and education for clinicians and families to help suicide loss survivors. Links & Resources: But I Didn't Say Goodbye: Helping Families After a Suicide (3ed.) (2020), NJ: Griefwork Center, Inc. https://amzn.to/2FwS6JI Loss, Grief, and Bereavement: Helping Individuals Cope (4ed) (2019), MA: Western Schools https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/ https://suicideprevention.ca/Need-Help https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm https://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_forbes_how_to_start_a_conversation_about_suicide? https://www.ted.com/search?q=suicide++ Suicide Postvention Resources listed in the new and updated edition of But I Didn't Say Goodbye: Helping Families After a Suicide (3rd ed.) by Barbara Rubel After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools (2nd): https://afsp.org/our-work/education/after-a-suicide-a-toolkit-for-schools/ After a Suicide: A Postvention Primer for Providers: tripod.com/After_a_Suicide.pdf After a Suicide: Religious Services: https://theactionalliance.org/faith-hope-life/after-suicide-recommendations-religious-services-and-other-public-memorial-observances A Guide for Medical Examiners and Coroners: Best Practices for Talking with Families About Suicide https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/a0415f_3160611bae3f4be69c8e86b1ec7ed4ce.pdf Alex Blackwood Foundation for Hope (Camp Alex): com Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors: org American Academy of Bereavement: com American Association of Suicidology (AAS): org AAS-Helping Survivors of Suicide: What Can You Do? https://www.preventionlane.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Hepling-Survivors-of-Suicide_What-Can-You-Do.pdf American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): org AFSP-Children, Teens and Suicide Loss: https://afsp.org/wp-content/flipbooks/childrenteenssuicideloss/?page=1 AFSP-Healing Conversations: Personal Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss: org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/healing-conversations/ Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC): The Thanatology Association: org Befrienders Worldwide: org/ Best Practices for Talking About Suicide for Medical Examiners and Coroners: https://www.mecrecs.org/ Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/understanding-suicide-and-grief/supporting-a-loved-one-after-they-have-lost-someone-to-suicide Breaking the Silence in the Workplace: http://www.sprc.org/sites/default/files/migrate/library/Breaking%20the%20Silence%20Final.pdf California Institute for Behavioral Health Solutions: After Rural Suicide: A Guide for Coordinated Community Postvention Response: https://www.cibhs.org/sites/main/files/file-attachments/after_rural_suicide_guide_2016rev.pdf Camp Kita: Children's Bereavement Camp for Suicide Loss Survivors: https://campkita.com/ Carson J. Spencer Foundation: org The Catholic Charities: Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide: https://www.catholiccharities.net/GetHelp/OurServices/Counseling/Loss.aspx The Center for Complicated Grief: https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/professionals/complicated-grief professionals/overview/ Center for Grief and Loss: org/ Center for Suicide Awareness: https://www.centerforsuicideawareness.org/ Centering Corporation: org/ Clinicians as Survivors: After a Suicide Loss:/pages.iu.edu/~jmcintos/basicinfo.htm  Comfort Zone Camp: https://www.comfortzonecamp.org/ Compassion Books: compassionbooks.com Compassionate Friends: Surviving Your Child's Suicide: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/surviving-childs-suicide/ Cope Foundation: org/ Davenee Foundation: org/ Digital Memorial Quilts: org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/digital-memory-quilt/create-a-new-quilt-square/ The Dougy Center: National Center for Grieving Children and Families: org/ Emma's Place of Staten Island: emmasplacesi.com/ Find a Suicide Loss Survivors Support Group: org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/find-a-support-group/ Friends for Survival: Offering Help After a Suicide Death: org/ The Gift of Second: http://thegiftofsecond.com/ The Glendon Association: org/ Griefwork Center, Inc. Suicide Postvention Speaker Services griefworkcenter.com Heartbeat: https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/ Help at Hand: A Guide for Funeral Directors: http://www.sprc.org/sites/default/files/migrate/library/funeraldirectors.pdf Hope Squad: com/postvention/ How to Talk to Kids About Suicide: https://drrobynsilverman.com/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-suicide-with-dr-dan-reidenberg/ International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP): info/postvention.php International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies: org The Jason Foundation: jasonfoundation.com The JED Foundation: org/ The Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center: org Kara: kara-grief.org/support-for/adults/ Lifesavers Blog-AFSP: https://afsp.org/lifesaver-blog/ LOSS Team: com/ A Manager's Guide to Suicide Postvention in the Workplace: org/Portals/14/docs/Survivors/Loss%20Survivors/Managers-Guidebook-To-Suicide-Postvention.pdf Mental Health America: net/ Moyer Foundation (Camp Erin): moyerfoundation.org National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention: Recommended Standard Care for People with Suicide Risk: Making Health Care Suicide Safe: org/sites/actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/files/Action%20Alliance%20Recommended%20Standard%20Care%20FINAL.pdf National Alliance for Grieving Children: org/ National Alliance on Mental Illness: org/ National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN): nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/traumatic-grief  NASPA Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education, Postvention: A guide for response to suicide on college campuses https://www.naspa.org/focus-areas/mental-health/postvention-a-guide-for-response-to-suicide-on-college-campuses  National Organization for Victim Assistance: org National Center for Victims of Crime: org/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24/7, Free and Confidential Support: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); for Hard of Hearing 1-800-799-4889; en Español 1-888-628-9454  org/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Lifeline Online Postvention Manual http://www.sprc.org/sites/default/files/migrate/library/LifelineOnlinePostventionManual.pdf Open to Hope: com/ Our Side of Suicide: http://www.oursideofsuicide.com/ Parents of Suicides/Friends & Families of Suicides: pos-ffos.com/ Pastoral Postvention: https://theactionalliance.org/sites/default/files/fhl_competencies_v8_interactive.pdf Posttraumatic Growth Research Group: uncc.edu/ The Public Health Approach to Prevention org/sites/sprc.org/files/library/phasp.pdf QPR Institute for Suicide Prevention: qprinstitute.com/ Reach Out.com: reachout.com/loss-and-grief/supporting-a-friend-after-someone-dies-from-suicide/ Riverside Trauma Center: http://traumacenter.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Postventionguidelines.pdf SAFE-T Pocket Guides for Clinicians: samhsa.gov/product/Suicide-Assessment-Five-Step-Evaluation-and-Triage-SAFE-T-Pocket-Card-for-Clinicians/SMA09-4432 The Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ NYC: org/MA: samaritanshope.org/  Sibling Survivors of Suicide Loss: com/ Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: samhsa.gov/ Suicide Attempt Survivors Task Force of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention: org/sites/actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/files/The-Way-Forward-Final-2014-07-01.pdf Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE): org Suicide: Finding Hope: com/ Suicide Grief Support Forum: com/ Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC): org SPRC Toolkit for Schools http://www.sprc.org/resources-programs/after-suicide-toolkit-schools Suicide Safe:org/sites/actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/files/Action%20Alliance%20Recommended%20Standard%20Care%20FINAL.pdf Suicide Safety Plan: com Support After a Suicide: org.au/ Surviving After a Suicide Loss Blog: https://survivingafterasuicide.com/blog/ Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS): https://www.taps.org/suicidepostvention Trauma Institute & Child Trauma Institute: com/ Trevor Project (LGBTQ): org/ United Suicide Survivors International: https://unitesurvivors.org/ Violent Death Bereavement Society: org/html/director.html Yellow Ribbon: org/ Zero Suicide in Health and Behavioral Health Care Toolkit: zerosuicide.sprc.org/toolkit