Envy // Still Deadly, Part 7

Envy is probably one of the most destructive of all emotions.  We see something someone else has and we want it.  Wars have been fought over envy. That's why it numbers amongst the seven deadly sins.  And it's still deadly. I imagine that envy, envy is one of those emotions, no, lets not call it an emotion, lets call it what it really is. Envy is one of those sins that we experience from our earliest childhood. Little Johnny next door has a new toy car and I want it or little Sarah next door has a brand new doll and you want it. So we envy what they have, we want to get our hands on what they have and then we grow up and it's so easy to envy the things that other people have or how they look or who they're married to or what other people think of them, so easy. You may have heard me say this before but I really used to suffer from this, I couldn't stand it, I hated it when someone else had something that I couldn't have. You stand back and you think about it and you realise two things about envy. Firstly, it doesn't have a single redeeming feature, it's just plain ugly and secondly, it's an incredibly destructive sin. While I envy what you have and you envy what I have, we can't have any trust between us. There can't be any closeness or friendship, it robs us of the most important thing of all; relationship. Envy has always been a deadly sin and you know something; today, right here and now, it's still deadly. Berni: I'm joined today again by Keith Henry. Keith thanks for joining us. Keith: Pleasure Berni. Berni: It's been such a blessing. You know, Keith has some real insights about these 7 deadly sins. It's not because he specialises in each one of them or anything like that. Keith's spent the last 10 years of his life, really understanding our different personality types we have and what it turns out is that each different personality type has one particular sin that it specialises in. Now Keith, tell us about envy, what's this envy thing all about, where does it come from, where does it start from? Keith: Envy, I believe, is one of the most misunderstood of the 7 deadly sins and as you said, one of the most destructive. Only because people don't know a way out of it and the secret is, envy is really love of what other people have. It comes back to that 'love' point of view, God is love and in envy, we love what somebody else has. But when you get it, often you don't want it. It's one of those things, 'I want it when I can't get it, when I do have it, I don't want it anymore'. Berni: It's really interesting, envy, I was reading something the apostle Paul wrote in Galatians chapter 5, have a listen. He says: The works of the flesh are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity, licentiousness , idolatry, sorcerery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger. Quite a list: Quarrels, dissention, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing and things like that. I'm warning you against them. Interesting that envy numbers amongst those sorts of sins; idolatry, sorcerery, strife, jealousy, anger, envy. It's right up there. Keith: It is. Envy's in the mind, this is what makes it so strong. Envy is a sensitivity to something and people who have envy are very, very much live in their mind, they're thinking and often in the past. Berni: Okay. Keith: They actually re-do or re-think things that have happened in the past and put a different slant on it so that they are envious of, they should have had that, why didn't they have it? What was wrong with me? And it brings about shame and guilt and all the destructive forces. Envy is terrible, all the deadly sins are terrible but this one is the hardest one to overcome. Berni: So what sort of person is more prone to envy than another? Keith: It's funny, when you ask that question, 'cause you don't really expect the answer. In the Bible, in Romans 12 where it talks about the 7 personality types, it's actually the carer and who do we think the carer is? The carer is that lovely, sweet... Berni: That is bizarre! Keith: ... kind. It is isn't it? Because in their personality, the carer wants to be unique, they want to be special, they want to be different and they can see things that are special, that are different that we can't, that sensitivity level is the highest of all personalities and so they actually, Berni: Makes sense. Keith: Yeah and what happens is they can see it, like if you were hurting right now, in your feelings, you have a problem, I wouldn't see it, they would and they'd start asking you questions. They want to help people, they have a natural inclination to help people but when they're not doing that they can get depressed easily, they have bi-polar, they can, they could commit suicide if it got really bad. It's so, so destructive because they're thinking all the time and regurgitating things. Berni: They're emotionally sensitive. Keith: They're very emotionally sensitive. Berni: And there's an upside to that and there's a downside to that. Keith: Well the upside to it is the carer is one of the nicest, happiest, fulfilled people out. The way out of this is, see, as I said at the start is, envy is a love of what other people have and what I don't have. Berni: Before we talk about the way out I want to understand why it is that someone whom we all love, the carer, the one who pulls alongside and spends the time with us and all sorts of stuff, why is it particularly the carer who is prone to envy, why? Keith: Because of their sensitivity. They see things in it, they have a real appreciation for creativity for instance and for music and things like that, that we don't have and they see things in the world that we don't have sensitivity for. Berni: Okay and so I guess, because they see things so deeply they latch onto them and they want them. Keith: That's right, they do and they want to be special. Berni: Okay, so what's the way out, I mean if someone's, it almost must be a Jeckel and Hyde thing, on the outside they're so loving and so warm and on the inside, this envy thing must eat away like a cancer. Keith: It is, it's a bit like the leader is an adrenaline junkie, you know just wants to do things that challenge them and gets adrenaline going. This is the closest, in a way, you wouldn't think it but this is the closest in the way to the leader in terms of that. They want the highs and lows because they have the feeling sensitivity, they want to go up and then come down and realise what it's like again and go up again. They're going, they're sensitivity... Berni: A sort of cyclotronic type of. Keith: Yeah. Berni: Okay. Keith: Yeah and the way out of it is the way that you enter it. Envy is love of other things, the actual way out of it is, being a carer, is love of God but love of others, to care for them. They have the sensitivity to see where you're hurting, they have the sensitivity to help you and so they have to, if they take it away from themselves, this is the only way out for them. They actually have to focus on using that sensitivity to help people and to not take things as "somebody's had a go at me" all the time. Berni: Yeah. Keith: Because they're sensitive, you could say something and not mean it, they take it and they run away. Berni: They're over sensitive sometimes. Keith: Over sensitive. Berni: See, interesting, before I became a Christian I was always very envious. Now I'm not a carer by any stretch of the imagination but I did experience envy. I hated it when other people succeeded and I didn't think about it much but when I became a Christian, God turned my life around and I began to serve other people. Keith: Yes. Berni: It's just what I do now and I get so much fulfilment, envy's just gone, it doesn't exist anymore for me. I love it when other people succeed now and I never thought about it. Keith: That's the divine nature. See the Bible says we should participate in the divine nature. Divine nature is centered on focusing on other people. You've stopped focusing on yourself Berni and now you're fulfilled. You were never fulfilled ... Berni: No. Keith: ... when you focused on yourself. Berni: Never, ever. Alright, we're going to talk tomorrow about another of the 7 deadly sins, in fact, the last one and this one is pride and I've got to tell you Keith, I keep running into these and think, "I remember that one too!" So I'm really interested to see what you have to say about pride tomorrow. Keith: Look forward to it Berni.