The Cheap Show And you don't know what you're really doing It becomes what we like to politely call shambolic So the first few episodes of our run were recorded under the title of Unclickables Which is a show with a bad name and no format So bad, the name's so bad I mean you can even spell it No, do you want to follow us? Please go to the Unclickables T-H-A-U-N-T-L-I-Q Anyway, we began to realise there was a format brewing within it though We were testing cheap food out and looking at charity shop finds and things And eventually we thought we'd rebrand it and call it Cheap Show Yes, good, good move And it was a good move Because we have rocketed from tens of listens to now thousands So we just wanted people not to be put off if they go back to the beginning And find these strange relics of the proto-pod that was the Unclickables Yeah, and then we moved into a studio a few episodes later on down the line And then we began to find the format a little bit more in our special relationship And obviously Barshan's kicked up at that point as well, YouTube channel So things began to change and what? No, I'm just waiting for you to stop talking So what have we got on this little pilot that people can listen to, Paul? I just thought I'd add together a little bit of a highlight reel Of some of the things that you can expect over the next load of Cheap Show episodes From the live all the way to the kind of more weird stuff That put like the scripted, sketchy kind of bits Which we also do if you have kind of semi-scripted Improvisational drama Yeah, drama But a few episodes like that We also have a few episodes we're out and about with our recorders On the scene On the scene, on location Yes, we've got a few So this is it, it's just a taster This is like a pilot recorded two years down the line For a show that's been existing for two years So please enjoy Please enjoy The Cheap Show Taster Pilot episode Oh wait, that's it, I'll just give us some more information On Twitter we're at thecheapshowpod Email us thecheapshow.com Our website is thecheapshow.co.uk And we have a Patreon If you're listening to all of this and you go I want to give them a little bit of money to say thank you And I hope they carry on Then you can go to patreon.com forward slash cheapshow And there are lots of tears and rewards and things like that You see when you say tears It just sounds like there's lots of tears Do you know like sadness and trauma?
No, it's T-I-E-R-S I know, but you should say there's lots of rewards And there's different levels of giving See that's much more clear You're just like there's lots of tears There's lots of tears There's lots of woe You can go on there And there's woe and tears And just existential Yeah, well you did So enjoy Hello, my name is Paul Gannon And this is a taster of what we do on the Cheap Show Podcast An economy, comedy, entertainment podcast With me and my co-host Eli Silverman Go for the bargain bins, charity shops, car booth sales of the UK And try to find treasure in the trash Now we like to mix it up on the show So one episode might be in the studio The next it might be a live show From an audience with guests We've also done scripted episodes For Halloween and Christmas Where they're a bit more kind of Plot comedy based with all our usual games Folded into the narrative And also maybe get out and about Where we go to car booth sales And we do something like a bargain hunt Where we're recording with our handheld recorders And getting out and meeting real people So this is a taste of some of What we think represents the show You're going to see four clips from four episodes The first one is from episode four Called Stuart Ashen Eats Sponge That was recorded live in London Also following that is episode 12 The Cheap Show Creep Show A scripted comedy episode A smooth found footage thing Where me and Eli go spend a night in a haunted house And then go insane Episode 20 is up next The Play Your Blankety Cars Right Game Show Where me and Eli find a bunch of classic board games Based on TV shows and we play them I'll let the title give you a clue as to what games we play And finally is episode 36 The Car Boot Challenge Special The one where me and Eli go out To a car boot sale in North London And try to find some interesting tat With just a budget of £5 So there you go If you want to know more You can go to our website www.thecheapshow.co.uk Where we have videos and extra content And all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff Other than that We hope you enjoy what you're about to hear Take it away, us Alright, next one This toy is simply called Aquadots I'll give you a little bit more information It was a pen But when you squeeze it They had little tiny dots That you could make into shapes And build structures with So a little bit pen thing So what do you think Aquadots What's the problem with that? Um, it only worked underwater I'm struggling I've had no time to prepare guys You don't have to prepare It's a question You would go mastermind I wanted to say something fucking funny Of course you prepare If you're on mastermind Well, yes you would Why, it's a special subject I don't know, I just thought of it Queens or something Queens of England Yeah, I'm doing research Don't know, don't know Pass, pass, pass, pass Queen Victoria, no Thank you You passed on 18 Fuck's sake The building, the building Thank you Alright, that was a lame answer You couldn't use it under water Ashens Alright, come on, what have you got for us? So this was a pen That you stick under water No, no, there was no water involved Don't listen to that feral It's called Aquadots Exactly It's called Aquadots Because it was like a little Liquid-y stuff inside of it That one you'd solidified Into little dots That you could make patterns with And things It was a pen that gave out Chunky beads Ah, that's the best thing you said all night So it's like a drug dealer in a pen? Yeah, if you want to Well, funnily enough You're not Why don't you answer Before I tell you why That was surprisingly close Don't tell me kids Could get high off the Aquadots You know what?
I'm going to give you half a point For being anywhere near the postcode Of that right answer The right answer is this It was a little pen And when you squirted Little beads came out, right? Those beads could be easily swallowed Kids, obviously being kids Swallowed a lot of those beads Now here's the problem Kids will eat them And sometimes vomit They were the lucky ones The kids who didn't vomit Fell into comas Holy shit Wait, that's not even The horrible part of this story It turns out The Aquadots were made of a chemical Called GHP Which when you metabolise Is a date rape drug So basically These kids were pointing to coma Because they were eating Date rape drugs And that, for some reason Date rape drugs Is the hardest sentence I've said all night Anyway, let's move on Just set us ring the doorbell I just want to say Don't be calling me a tramp In front of the proprietor Okay, because You know We need to present a Unified front We're in a professional Professional podcast team Okay Who the fuck are you? Hello My name's Paul Gannon And this is Eli Silverman The hairy tramp From the podcast Cheap show Oh, you're here for the ghost hunt? Yeah, I emailed you Oh, sorry Yes, great Come in This, I tell you what This house Is fucking so haunted How haunted is it?
It's brilliantly haunted You're not going to be Disappointed And I should tell you now I mean, I don't know If you're planning on Getting any sleep But the bed Has been chatting Nice Okay That's nothing to do with ghosts really No Eli, you've been silent What do you think about this? Oh, hello Mr Bollocks Why don't you have a conversation With yourself here I mean, with Mr Bollocks, Eli Oh, so you're Eli The Dirty Little Tramp Yes, that's right I'm Eli The Dirty Little Tramp So, you're the brains I can see in this operation Yes, that's right I'm Paul's a dick Yes, Paul does look like A total dick Oh, look at him Walls on the wall And there's the hand of old Jeremiah He was my groundskeeper And the award for best actor Goes to Eli Silverman For the dual role of Bobby Bollocks and Eli Silverman In the Chief Show podcast Thank you, thank you very much Thank you So, we can't go in your bedroom Nope, what about the attic? You can go up there But it's just got loads of old DVDs Right, the basement? The basement's fine And there's a lot of ectoplasm Lying around The kitchen?
The kitchen, pitch yourself a cup of tea By all means But don't use the best china And finally the toilet The toilet is I give it five minutes Believe me It's fucking haunted Right It's I get the gist It's like Eli gets the gist too I get the gist too, Mr. Bollocks Good, good Eli, yes This is so sad But moving the bus along He is laughing at you He is laughing behind your back, Eli He knows what you did Hey doc Oh, hello my budget Well, I've been listening to the Cheap Show Halloween special And it's sadly lacking in spookiness So I had Ashley engineer A few holographic ghosts But I'd send them over You know, help spook it up a bit for them I'm sure they'll love it I'm just about finished up Recording some creepy audio Right, so I guess this means You're not working on the podcast Did you get any work done on it at all today? We're kind of overdue for an episode Well, the bunker's ventilation system Did need immediate attention today I'm sure And the stereo needed to be rewired And the cutlery in the break room Needed to be alphabetized And you needed to start this What is it? A ship in a bottle?
I'm a victim of my whims, Michael And besides, you should talk With your obsessive shot-for-shot recreation Of the cult classic monster swab Using only rim co-action figures Hey, that's my art you're talking about Well, you're here now, I suppose Shall we get to work? On the podcast? Sure No, no, on these custom dedications It'll be much easier if we split them up, don't you think? Uh, okay, I guess But let's get back to the podcast As soon as we're done, okay?
Well, I mean After I film the Wolfman's cut-nard sequels Of course I'll start He's coming to get you Okay, Michael Will you take the next line? Sure Paul Gann is going to kill you Slowly Don't you think that's a little on the nose? Michael, I'm sure everything will be fine Oh, hang on I'm seeing something What's that? He knows what you did Oh, please It's not a scam That's some kind of apparition Hang on, it's saying something I must record He's coming to get you Uh, Paul Paul, I think you should come in here Paul He's glad to get you He's glad to hide your back Uh, he knows what I did Of course I can't let him leave He must He must stay here Forever I must stop Paul From ever leaving this place Paul He must be silenced He must He must be silenced He can never speak He can never speak Of what Eli did No He can never know He can never tell the world What Eli did And I won't ever say And then he won't say And then Ha ha ha ha Paul Paul Yee Pick your top three price Okay, I'm going to go with I'm going to pick first All the bottle of bleach I'll add the bottle of bleach please Okay, press that forward I'm going to also take The strawberry jam Jam He thinks it's more expensive And I'm going to go with pizza Pizza as well I'm going to go with pizza So, I have the pizza The jam and the thick bleach Okay, then How much is the bleach?
The bleach is worth 80 pence I thought that might have been more Pizza is worth £1.66 Now I'm in the game And the strawberry jam Is worth 60 pence Now Jam's really expensive these days I'll go by 1986 prices I've got to try and You know, time scale it So, if Two or more of these items Are higher than Two or more of your items You eat the beans So, bananas 70 pence You're looking good there That's lower than all three of your items You're looking good It's not as high than bananas I'm feeling These two need to be the winners still 15 metres of Wide thickness 4 pounds Fuck off What the fuck is It's metal It's a resource It's metal Power Man's It's metal for a pound Well, it's not power land It's the best Okay, now You're not looking good But six packs If this is over a quid You're in trouble Go on Right pack, six packs of crisps £1.18 You actually tried You're terrible at that You are terrible at that Okay God almighty Let's see if I'm getting A really nasty one here Butter popcorn or rotten egg Now this one is really nasty I know this is nasty as shit This one That one Yeah So it's either popcorn Or what? Eggs Rottent eggs Come on, get it here It's going to be eggs Stop making that noise Is he? You okay? Oh, this has been the best show ever I like it Wow I just can't lose Let's take a quick commercial break While we set up the final game For Price and Shies It's right Well I have a little bit of budget left And I wonder if I should get One more thing or not You have to I know Why do I have to get Like three things?
I'm not spending five on After shit And then you go No, I'm saving money No, I'm not saving money My query is How far I spend Do I look for quality or quantity I've got enough money To get one more thing You've lost I haven't lost Unless you bought Eight amazing things I've bought some amazing stuff Oh I think I might swing this though Go on Don't beat your last right I've got five minutes Alright, two minutes Whatever, sure So, time is up Mr Silverman, time is up Have you got everything you need? I have I'm feeling confident I'm feeling pretty confident Also, can I just mention now You took way too long And you should be disqualified No And basically I'm not going to mention it again later But I basically won Even if you won Oh, that's just bullshit That's you getting ahead of the curve Isn't it really As you say I'm moralistically I'm aware of Well, it was meant to be like Bargain Hunt You took way over the appointed Half an hour That we needed to do this Anyway, either way We've finished now We've bought what we needed to We're going to go back to Eli's flat now And evaluate And basically judge each other's tat Can I tell you as well No keep me recording this Right, so I'm recording and moving around I'm holding my phone And this guy Who I'm looking at his table of contents He goes You're recording me? And I was like No, because I hadn't I turned my phone off at that time So I wasn't actually recording at that time Just had the mic out Yeah, and he was like You're recording me What's this thing or something? I was like No, no, no, no And he goes What's that in your pocket?
And he saw this little yellow puff of this thing Which again wasn't on What's this? That's a recorder That's a recording You're recording me No, no, no, no So all we've got to do now Is pack up and head back home I win No matter who wins I win Bullshit Right, we're heading home Onwards