I.V.M. I suspect nobody is being really hard broken over it. All the people who listen to the podcast must have missed us. We are here in the lovely Mumbai suburb of Malad.
And Nareem, I must tell you this, when I got off at Malad station today, I actually found a guy selling broccoli and zucchini outside the station. Nareem, you can truly say, actually, then, has happened. Totally. It's so, I've lived in Malad all my life, you know, and it used to be, when I was young, Malad used to be the armpit of Bombay.
It used to be the armpit, but now it's a nice, non-hairy, waxed, yod, very nice armpit. An armpit, you'd be happy to sniff. What a timeline for Malad tourism. An armpit, you'd be glad to sniff.
So, I've heard a lot of places being called the armpit of Bombay. And over the years, this armpit just keeps going north and north. It used to be Andheri, then it became going out of Malad, Boriwini, Bayanthar. If Malad is the armpit, Nareem, what about the rest of the city?
Malad, here is the foot. Yeah, what would be the anus? I mean, that's good. You know, it's being Dada.
Yeah, I think. We shared also, you know, the vortex of things, eh? There are lots of communities that come to Bombay and disagree about many things, but one thing everybody is connected on is the fact that Dada is the anus of C. So, on that happy note, let's move on to our first topic of the week, we have a lot to talk about this week, we had to make up for last week as well, actually.
The most hilarious thing happened this week, Nareem. Seth Blacker happened to meet Putin. Putin went on to say that Seth Blacker should actually get the Nobel Prize. Actually, jokes apart, I think he's right.
But the thing is this, what will he get? He can account to be a distinguished person like that, can get a Nobel in many different fields, okay? So, they must be really thinking of what to give him. Like, for example, the way he's shafting people, he should get it.
In physics, physics, chemistry. Why chemistry? He must be making people smoke some really intense chemicals to actually vote for him. On the other hand, maybe that qualifies for medicine.
What about literature, Nareem? Literature, why literature? Possibly because he's written so many wonderful works of fiction, which find themselves in the accounts department at FIFA. But yeah, but I think what Putin had in mind was the Nobel Peace Prize.
Yeah, it makes sense, Nareem, because the Peace Prize is given out to people who have done great work in, say, uniting people on the world, and if there's one thing that Seth Blacker has done, it's uniting the world in thinking that he is a gigantic, massive dick. So that way, yeah, Seth Blacker definitely deserves... In a way, there are a few people who have... Nareem, a couple of other things over here, which I was reading up about the Nobel Peace Prize.
So, firstly, you can't nominate yourself. So, sorry, someone, nothing a PR machine can do about this. And you actually never know if you have yourself been nominated. The inner workings are secretly guarded, and their line is perhaps the only similarity that it has with FIFA.
Then there's a short list, and then a review, and then a debate, and discussion. What is heartening about this whole thing is that Alfred Nobel is set to have started the Peace Prize because he didn't make bad things, like dynamite and things like that, so he wanted to make up. And so this is heartening. Perhaps Putin and Blacker will actually do some good in their lives.
Maybe the only good thing that Seth Blacker could possibly do is, I think he is the only possible person, Nareem, to potentially be able to dispense of N. Sarinivasan, which would then absolve him of all his crimes against humanity. But it's a tough call. It's like an endangered animal eating an endangered plant.
Which one do you shoot the endangered animal? So the second thing that I want to talk about this week and simplify is, you know, I'm very, very sure that Raghuram Rajan is rolling the Ministry of Finance. You know what, the Ministry of Finance has been on his knees, telling him, boss, please reduce the interest rate, please reduce the interest rate. And he keeps telling them, go reduce the inflation, and come back to me, I'll let you know.
No, you hang up first. So they've been begging, they've been practically on one knee, begging him to reduce the rates. He keeps saying they're going to reduce the inflation numbers. So this time, it's actually gone down.
And so they landed back at the office and said, now can we reduce the rate? So he makes an epic statement, like, except for housing and food and fuel, the inflation is rising. So what is this? What is this?
What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this?
I'm sure he, you know, moment those guys, they, you know, they crestfallen and walk back outside his office, he must be locking in the door and laughing at his house. But anyway, it's also the Ministry of Finance, right? Because they also run the income tax department, which takes all the hard-earned money, especially in this season. I want to talk about something, this is something historic happened recently between India and Bangladesh, which was not a pretty good match.
For long, there's been a border problem. There are enclaves within Bangladesh. So that enclave is a part of one country inside another country. And it's actually not that uncommon.
There are quite a few examples of these around the world. Like, for example, the entire country of Lesotho, which incidentally is based above India in the FIFA rankings, the entire country of Lesotho is surrounded by South Africa. So there are quite a few examples of enclaves like this. But what is Unico?
There are hundreds and hundreds of enclaves at the India-Bangarish border. And the world's only third-order enclave is here, which is basically, there's a part of India inside a part of Bangladesh, which is inside a part of India, which was inside Bangladesh. Which is so bad. Which is bad as one, but not for the people actually deciding inside, because they have a hell of a problem.
If you have the Indian, if he has to cross over to Bangladesh, he actually becomes an illegal trespasser to that part of it. It was quite a screwed up thing. And finally, after some 70 years of border disputes and people trying to start to sing out, things have finally, finally been sorted. Which is sad for people who enjoy geographical quirks, but much better for people who actually stay there.
A little bit about this, and you might like this, because you're a chess official, I'm told. The whole border dispute issue actually happened because of a botched up game of chess. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Border anomalies like this don't always need to be bad.
There is a similar situation between Netherlands and Belgium, and that's actually much more peaceful. In fact, you have cafes that have one half in Belgium and one half in Netherlands, shops which have one half in Belgium, and even houses have one half in Belgium and half in Netherlands, and there's no problem over there, the peaceful Europeans all they want is their weed and their good Belgian beer. In fact, that area is something of a quirky tourist attraction, actually. But, you know what, I like this whole concept of enclave, where you basically have a part of one country or territory inside some other territory or country.
Imagine, for example, if you had a part of Goa inside Maharashtra. There's a part of Goa in Italy. There's a part of Netherlands, it's a very exciting college for that matter. I've often thought that Matunga is an enclave of Tamil Nadu.
The whole of Bombay, actually, you can say is an enclave of Gujarat. Yeah. And finally, I think, Bangalore Airport is actually an enclave of Bangalore. And the big topic of the week is the whole porn ban.
Of course, it's been revised slightly now, but still, it's a talking point of the week. A lot of people have been outraging about this on social media. I don't get porn. I mean, I get it.
I mean, I don't get it. You don't get it through the internet, is what you mean? I mean, I don't understand why human beings have to watch, or why porn works for human beings. Like, for example, if you try to marry to a long side of 15, the old hormone that's not what they used to be.
But still, I mean, I didn't recollect what it used to be like. Here's this. You can't sort of tickle yourself, right? You can close your eye, you can use a feather, you still won't get tickled if you do it yourself.
But that doesn't work for your tick, right? Why should you not be able to tickle yourself? But why should it be so easy to pleasure yourself? And why should...
Isn't it daft to watch porn? Because, like, you feel hungry, and the only way of satiating yourself is watching someone else eat. I just won't get it. But yeah, you may be able to do it.
A few interesting things about porn now. Porn is a big, big industry. Like I just found out, the entire porn industry in the US is worth $13 billion. $13 billion money for porn.
Just to put that in perspective, how Apple earned $183 billion last year. So if you think about it, Apple is about 15 times all the pornography in the world. People really want their iPhones more than they want their triplex. I remember reading somewhere that there are many mechanical devices which will bring about sexual interest in people.
So apparently, Apple iPhone... 70% of male internet users from the age of 18 to 34 access porn once a month, Naren. And the only thing that this means is that 30% male internet users use Google in incognito mode. Also, if you're excluding it, then the rest of the world actually doesn't say 70 years.
And here's another interesting thing. So I saw a list of top porn-viewing countries. That's the people who spend most... Countries that spend most amount of time on porn per capita.
And surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, the list was almost entirely made up of conservative Muslim nations like Iran and Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, etc. So it just was to show, Naren, that it's that whole forbidden fruit thing. The more you ban something, the more people end up wanting it. Like, for example, Gujarat drinks like a fucking fish.
I would be surprised if the largest percentage of people who go to barbecue nations were teenage brahmin boys who are forced to stay with their parents. Actually, I think this whole forbidden fruit fund can work very well for a lot of other areas in life. Like, for example, I think education across the country would improve if parents say hate their children's match tax, textbooks, etc. No, no, you're not a drink.
This is only for grown-ups. You stick with this... Well, only you might get children trying to swim. And if parents swim, they'll say, no, no, just eat this playboy or this Archie comic or something.
No, no, guys. You'll get that only when you're 18 years old. This is the way to transform education in this country. Corn has caused a lot of controversy before.
This is not very surprising. The ancient Romans were said to be fairly expressive with their architecture. And when the Pompey excavations happened by our Victorian friends a few centuries ago, they were shocked when they saw how expressive that the Romans were. And they actually dug up all the stuff and put it into a secret museum in Naples to actually protect the Victorian society, the boys and the women and the impressionable young chaps.
And apparently, this is a funny part, Naren, only the upper-class callers were allowed to access them. I love the Victorian. Someone told me that Victorian was so rude-ish that even the tables would have covered because you didn't want people to see the length of the people. And the most epic thing actually someone told me is one of his friends, actually when you're a kid, he pulls out something from his pocket and a slip of paper falls out.
And someone picks up the slip of paper and what he sees is a cruelly-done pair of breasts with a couple of hips and on the vagina. And that guy's like, he's very defensive, but he wants it back. So these guys are like, what do you want? What is this?
What's so great? And in fact, it turns out that's what he uses to jerk off. So some people porn bands don't have to. But I like the fact that only upper-class callers are allowed to access.
This is like when marijuana gets confiscated the top cop always takes us back saying this is entirely for academic purposes. I think what's going to happen if porn band ever happens is I think the government actually has good intentions. I think this is a move to boost the print production in the country because people are watching porn so much that their reliance on printed titillation has reduced over time. So I think what it's going to do is it's going to give a boost to the print industry, CD players, and of course SMEs that promote VPN services, VPN proxy services.
That's basically what's going to happen. Yeah, there's going to be all the research in this country and the software is going to be that we can do is put it into a song. Maybe like a shrinking song. I was an avid uber of dirty scenes but now it's not loading I don't know what this means I'm getting an error all across my screens How am I supposed to survive We'll be right back.
We'll be right back. We'll be right back.