Hello mate. Right, what do you want me to say then? The intro? Oh man, really?
Do it, episode 1, 2. I'm flying with our wings. Go on. Yep.
Yep. Stop. Don't look at me. I'll turn away.
So I'll imagine your voice is a lovely voice over at the urban scene that I'm looking at. Oh, look at those trees. Oh, look at those flowers. That's nice.
Oh, look at the puddle on top of someone's shed. Oh, it's very observant. It's more of a lock in. It's a sheep show ladies and gentlemen.
I'm the Ice Silverman. And I've been sick as a dog. How about you, Mr. Ganon, who's the other show host of this show?
I'm old and tired of fat. Look at it. I'm a tongue. I am.
I've been going wrong and falling a bit. You've been through quite a stressful period in your life. I am. You've moved to London.
I have. You're back in Londro. Diving into freelance. You've seen freelance radio.
It's all fine. I've actually been to live shows. We did live shows. We're allowed to say that now.
Yeah. Those were the live shows, everyone. You've deleted me. I want to add that to the tapestry of everything that I was.
Oh, you wanted to add that now, but not when we were actually recording after doing the live shows before they come out, because now we're not allowed to be real. We built our name on all their tish-tish-tish. He's walking off. He's walking off.
I'm done. Hey, you and your fucking mood are positive. I'm done. It's a fact that you're so good at having fun.
I'm done. I'm doing the talk. That's a dog. You've got the same.
Hello. He likes it. Welcome to the show. I'm going on a nozzle.
This is it, dog. He's not. Come back. Come back, Paul.
I'm sorry. Fuck this. He's snake-doll representation of authenticity. Then I had to lie like a mealy-mouthed communist for the last two episodes, where we both knew that the show, the live shows, have been an absolute bomb.
The bomb. Success. The bomb. Not a bomb.
No, there was no bomb. There was no explosive, any kind, apart from the raw comedy talent on stage. Ooh. Ghibli-wow.
Right. You're ill as well, aren't you, because you're poorly. I've already mentioned this. I thought you were going to more detail.
You're talking about your chivalry in. I've basically just lay in bed in a fever state, having dreams about carrying a large glass straight away. Sweating my liver right out. And then I've got the shills.
I'm not fully recovered, Paul. No. You do look shit. Thank you.
You're ill. I look pasty, don't I? You do look a little, um, uh, peaky. Yeah.
Pasty. Pasty and peaky. A bit sweaty. Yeah.
They were like a double pig puppet show from the 40s and they were working in pinky and perky. Yeah, but I'm making a joke. That's pasty and pasty and peaky. Yeah.
Well, sick pigs. They come on. Sick pigs. I'm peaky.
Great. Two more fucking characters for this podcast. Oh, I've got the flu. I'm going to peaky because I've done some unfettered Miss All-Fet.
It's good. I like these two. Oh, my good. Let's see where they go.
We're going down the lane, aren't we, Pasty? Oh, I just want to stop here and vomit. I'm beginning to think of these two sides of your body. They're like two sides of your mind.
I'm peaky. I'm like upside. Oh. Pasty.
I want to die inside and I'm depressed. Right, Paul, what have we got coming up on the show today? Maybe do the intro. That is the intro.
That is the intro. That's a long one. She's not to you. She always says it.
Yeah, and then I go back in. That was a long one. That was a long one. He's talking about going to the toilet.
She's got amnesia after every stroke. No. That's a horrible fucking thought of a woman in turmoil because everytime you put your dick in there, you want to go home. A terrible- A horrible wind-white penis.
No, like that's a horrible? That was a long one. She's living that moment. A moment like that's more like, oh, who am I?
Oh, what's going on? Who am I? That was a long one. Fucking- That was a long one.
That was horrible. That's a hard- This is horrible. Anyway. The pound man.
What's wrong with that? What about pound stretcher? I like to stretch my pound right out. Right.
You're in that mood today. Good. All right. I'm feverish.
The House of Pickles has become a House of Illness. It reflects my personality. This place. If anyone's listening to this podcast, I'd like to go back to the previous one and just tally the number of times Eli says he's ill or severely under the weather.
I get an idea of the ratio to healthy Eli episodes and then Eli episodes was like, you know, I hear like shit. But usually that self-reflective pull, this is actually a viral infection that I'm trying to shake. And I'm in your house in the House of Pickles. The My Asthma.
The My Asthma. Fantasia My Asthma of my Stench. Come dance within the wafts of gloom. Yes.
Good. Mount Grot Pan's. Are you the hard man? The House of Pickles?
Yes. Roll up, roll up to the House of Pickles. Come explore Mount Grot Pan's. Oh, but what can we expect to see there for our hard-earned money?
Well, if you look carefully, you can find skiddies. Skiddies in pop- We said we weren't going to talk about the, this is like the behind the scenes. This isn't the House of Pickles that the public gets to see. No.
Let's just not say skiddies anymore. You just said it twice. I've got to be calling out the way. I've done skiddies since I was skiddies.
It's weird. It's great. Lots of that in Donkeys. Right.
Paul, is there some kind of structure to this 103rd second? 102th episode. I've been so busy. I had that time.
There are some talking points I want to talk about and we've got a grab bag. So I tell you what, let's put one of my lovely little sound effects in that Decompart mentalises, this podcast intersegments. Here's one. Decompart mentalised.
Decompart mentalises. The word you're looking for. What did I say? Decompart mentalises.
Decompart mentalises. You're just said compart mentalises. Well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm doing a re-boy noise.
Stop. Oh, who is Peking? pasty? No, no more Peking pasty.
All right. Calm down. Here's the sound effect and we'll do another segment. Okay, good.
Right, next segment. Right. What is this even though? Well, oh, well, this is a Lucy You can see Devil Make Care episode of Cheapshow.
We're just hanging out. It's a hangout episode, isn't that lovely? It's lovely, really lovely. If I wasn't like ill.
Very sick, I'm very sick. Yeah. I feel very... You got that shiver.
I've got the shivers. I got the shivers. Yesterday I just stayed in bed the whole day. The whole day.
The only difference being that yesterday you were ill. I never did that. Yeah, you fucking hibernate. You got a little nest.
It's bed, sushi ladies and gentlemen. It's like a mess. I'm looking at it now and there's the lid of a bin. There's a blue empty bag.
There's a backpack, there's a few books out around tobacco. It's laptop pillows. It's all bunched around your laptop pillows. Your laptop pillows, yes.
What are they? I've pillows that have designed like a laptop. Yeah, and you can open those up. And there's a screen and one and a keyboard in the other and you go, oh, like, like, emails.
Like, like emails. Dear Prince Nababu, I will invest in your online banking account situation in order to help you get your £1 million in heritage. Here are my bank details. I trust you will serve me well in our agreement.
The point is with those, they don't... If you give so many bank details, they can't get your money. You have to actually give them money. That's how those scams work.
Oh, I've never done that. I know you've never been scams by a fake Nigerian prince. What did they say? It's like, um...
They can't get money. That's the only way they can get money. You need to wire the money. That's the scam.
Yeah. So they say, I need some funds in order to release these other funds. Yeah. But the point is...
I'm trying to fucking make... Well, you're not making it very well. I don't know you or I would scoff. That's such an email.
Come on, you don't... I'll fall off off off off. No, that's not... That's a stupid noise.
Okay. Make it real noise. Yeah. That's good.
Yeah, all right. Ooh. Scoffee, it's getting the new craze. It's 2019's new craze.
What are you going to do today? What are you going to do today? I'm going to scoff! Okay!
Hey man. You've got to come up tonight. Ooh! Scoffee, hard.
Did you hear that new song by Aggy and Agleria? What's it called? It's called Night's Goughin. Bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao Ooh!
Bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao-bao. Night's Goughin. Okay. Okay.
Mr Gannon. Yeah, stop there now. This one has too much of a 70s disco feel right what the kid want is a more sort of vocoder and sort of trap Well, I'm going for extra while it's not gonna work is it? No, I'm gonna try again.
Well, yeah one more go and we don't want a vocoder noise. I'll go ahead. I'll do vocoder Yes, that's what yes, yes California Scott, oh, right? I'm a From to pack how many now what was the original point you were trying to make?
They scoff at the idea in Prince's. Oh, yeah But it only takes like not point not one percent of people to reply for them to make enough money off this so it takes us that one idiot Somewhere in the world to give them a little bit of money and apparently that's all they need because they just send a bunch of Any money? Yeah, it just goes here generating program that generates emails randomly bash Yes, and then you and then you read it and you think oh Wonder why have all the people in the world they decided to call on me? I think people who have sort of sub intellectually sub and yeah, you know, it's not very good No, and that's who it prays on old people their mind Oh people who are lonely maybe lonely people lonely people because of those scams I've heard yeah, there's those scams who pretend to be like a good looking ex veteran and get their money out of them that way They send photos of this handsome guy.
Yeah, those ones. Harley traps sort of scams people get so into that They're so lonely and they so feel like they're so in love with this person. It isn't real. It's been created Yeah, they still want to keep doing it even when it's been to even point it out to them that they're getting scammed the person Real they like no, but I love the conversation That's that is that well some people don't I can't find love as easily as me and that's That's fine But you know if you if you like and find love then we all can find love and you've you've known love What you try to fucking say just saying you've no love right boy.
You try what you fucking hinting at it I'm just make it come around here. I make fucking hot beverages for you a clean No, you're trying to figure is the one you made for me and then you started drinking you didn't want it It's not what this podcast is McCampore. What's bigger? I'm making any sense.
Yes, you're still drinking my coffee. So you've had two coffees now You fucking wretched bitter ill warbed tramp Me nice to you anyway, what was the point this oh anyway, so I just thought I wanted to say thank you for everyone who came to the live show Yes, we did want to say we didn't have two massively awesome shows Basically at this point both videos should be on YouTube. We've kept them back for patron people first initially So they can get them exclusively for now. They're both available to the general there Certainly public certainly episode 100 is on YouTube 101 is probably might be a week, but it's soon It's okay.
That's great Paul. I think it went better than I thought they would and you know I've had a good time as long as me everyone who came along. You know what really was very gratifying for me Yeah, it's you hadn't really experienced how people listen to the show in the privacy of their own home where you are clearly the baddie Good you're not a good you're more like a What's I'm looking for a fat cunt? Oh there go boo.
Yeah, I got that'll be my head forever more Paul Whenever you say something like that. Oh, I'm here the legions the legions of cheap skates They live with me they live inside me Paul. They live in my heart now. Yeah, I'm very sad Thank you so much badgers got rid of them all can't believe that Definitely more badgers, but I don't like I like that design Yeah apart from people thinking you're from Cheps stuff.
Yeah weird that so I had more than once twice that's officially more than once Twice that's twice. Yeah, it was double once. Yeah, it was double once double once you Oh, yeah, so tell me more fucking Do in some like admin and catch you know, but this is admin episode But what I read well first of all, thank you for everyone came to the show you said that four times now again And people are asking are we thinking about doing more live shows and I'm funny about when they thought you were Cheps though No, that's not funny. That's it.
They just thought it said she comes from Cheps though. No you badgers Cheps though, please come from Cheps though, please let me talk about Cheps though I love Cheps though. I had to leave Cheps though as a child It was a disaster for me and then I always think on a Sunday afternoon. Oh What I had left Cheps though all those years ago.
I'd be someone now. I'd be someone in Cheps though Oh Come on give her back story. I've got a manic. I can feel I'm gonna die.
Ah So it's a she from Cheps though She don't like it's a little bit. She cut like that from Cheps though. No, no He said she was there all her life. I'm gonna say stop it all right.
But she obviously sounds something off Oh, I don't know. Oh god Oh Cheps though Anyway, what was a chap so the podcast about chap so one more time chap so One of the things we didn't want to say about the live show is if you were there on the day you picked up a printed out copy of The cheap show magazine brilliantly made by our favorite Get the name right get the name is looking at his phone laser gentlemen. You are terrible with the names of ladies You know what it is. It's like I don't trust myself to get it right So I had to take and then I err on the wrong side event event Meckling mecking mecking fucking hell man anyway She was in charge of all of that and she helped print them all out and get them posted and at considerable costs So if you want to say thank you to us How about saying thank you to her instead go reach out to her on Twitter and maybe drop a few pence in her Pal you pal just see if you can help her cuz they're the most magazines were great and they've all got signed one didn't they?
That was nice except when you fucking got impatient and just walked outside for a cigarette. I've never did that you fucking did it twice And I know I never you did you are at that niche See for the window go as I might take him back in a minute. He'll be back in a minute outside it's more talk Where's he like you like oh I never done that I never done nothing wrong you fucking I've not never done nothing wrong For a fact so and you were pissed you were rotten piss by the night as well fuck off you were rotten Pissing your own I did not drink I did not drink during or before either of the shows I have a straight yeah like a professional word You know when fucking Lawrence Olivier came on stage. He had a very stiff Directed in the tonic on his knob.
Well, how could you have a gin and tonic on your knob balanced? He would slurp down gin and tonic after come off But only after Paul not before this video footage of you slapping a Guinness at the beginning of the first show telling you in the afternoon I said you lush you terrible lush Apart from your shot. I was given afterwards. I was a drink I drunk with the two Guinnesses at one pint every two hours Then I was very kindly bought a number of whiskey by several people after the second I Think it's getting all shouting you touchy and yeah, it's fun.
I don't fucking want you having fun. How dare you? How dare you have fun? I was having fun on stage if you're fucking blocking and lack of professional Walking out he's actually got to the door.
He's got the opening the door. He's locked me in. I've locked him in Oh, he's taking my face off. He doesn't want it.
He's gonna get it I'm sick. I'm actually quite aware of everybody so don't take it as gospel whatever I say. We just say this episode is not it's not canon I'm trying to reach a broad audience with this podcast. I'm trying to make it mainstream and audience abroad the ladies That's what Jimmy biscuits would say Jimmy biscuits is now dead.
Oh wow Luckily I've been working on a new character. Oh, yeah, little Timmy biscuits Timmy bit. Oh, it's Jimmy's nephew. Right.
Oh Oh Oh Daniel so far well, he's not coming yet. You've you scared him off. You've scared little Timmy biscuits Oh shit, then if he's just if I had to speak and you were you like mocks in he's very shy. Oh, what an awful No, I think those won't be because it is dead Jimmy biscuits It's a bit of a biscuit after the live show was last seen walking along the canal right near canvas Yeah, right.
Yeah, and apparently this is the story is that he was met in one of those on the passes on the canal When the road goes over it. Yeah, that's what he met a tall dark stranger with glowing red eyes And all we lose was this who's giving this story This is just what I heard on the grapevine, right? Okay, and so there was a howl and a splash and then no one's seen Jimmy biscuits since but they say if you go down to the Canal at midnight, you listen very carefully above the bubbling and the babbling of the water you can hear Well, that's why that's such a very strange coincidence actually isn't it? Yeah that little Timmy biscuits is just turned up out of the bloat Basically a crate was delivered to my door.
Yeah, and I was like fuck is this from America says from the yonks yonks It's from the young it's from the young. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I must be so you know something not live Yeah, there was a little scratchy Timmy biscuits is not a turn take this to show and there we was a little feral child and you've I thought we were gonna get to hear from him today, but you've scared him off. Well, he just needs to you know fucking he's coming He's coming. Yeah, don't worry.
Yeah. Well, I quote unquote look forward to that Everyone Timmy biscuits taking the role the mantle of the now maybe deceased by a werewolf what some kind of canowled welling werewolf Yeah, so we just don't know what time to Jimmy biscuits. He was lastly looks by the canals New pine wolf if you've seen Jimmy biscuits out and about I'll break it down what he looks like me He looks like me and dresses like me and the only thing that is different is the terrible New York accent the authentic New York Accent the authentic beautiful New York accents. Oh, where we gonna do something on this podcast today?
We're gonna look at something or price because I'm running out of energy with this bit. I know you that fuck off I fucking tell you that all right. I'll listen to one last piece of you segment this segment ish Fuck sake. I've got a very busy life right now.
Oh, right. I've got people demanding stuff. I've got people crying out for me. Oh I got that I demand your willy and we've got special episodes like the William Sorry Sorry, yeah special episodes like what that's interesting you want to go to Brent Cross, don't you?
Okay, now let's just put up now. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. There will be a Brent Cross special episode We'll take the pilgrimage from we'll go all the way from here in Harrogay on bus the Brent Cross shopping center on the outskirts of London I'm fucking idea and we will walk around FedEx and there's also John Lewis and we'll look at the place where the older Wouldn't would and statues used to be which you could play on near the waitrose and we'll do some games and it will be a lovely day for everyone involved Look forward to that. That's what we've got planned.
So There you go. What other special episodes we got we're gonna do your noodle special and then we've got this one coming up I'm announcing to you as well because I don't believe in following it online. Let's see But basically cheap show fan base the cheaps gates. They are pulling together a cheap show award I did I did I did notice it.
I did notice it and I'm lurking you know you look so I thought I'd announce that so anyone listening can go ahead and vote For what they've got plans. So let me find back the right reddit page jibilie jibilie jibilie jibilie So the cheap skate choice of awards 2018 if you go to our reddit page reddit.com forward slash R forward slash cheap show There is a post there that says announcements cheap skate choice awards are now live. There's a Google Docs Would you like to know what the categories are? Yes?
Yeah? What are the categories? I'm gonna fucking click on it now, aren't I bring it up? Here we go Thank you for episode.
That's one. I know which one mine is what is it gonna be? What do you pick? Funniest moments that's okay I got big of everything favorite character Fuck off would it be Jimmy say can you biscuits his best?
Do you biscuits his best? Happy the worst character. Oh, happy the worst character. No, come on.
It's just off is it? Hop off off. I'm good. You're brand off Margaret.
You fucking slag. Yes. That's it. No, that's that is the side of a good character Both of us can do it.
Do you know anything? Yes. All right, um character you most want to make a reappearance. Ah, yeah Yeah, Timmy biscuits if you can come up with a little hole.
Yes favorite segments. That's a category I would vote for any segment I win in which is not many so this will be good This will be good for us as the podcast creators Paul give us a little nudge in what they want us to You know what they don't want us to be doing what some fucking off the wrist I'm fucking sick. We've got nothing. I'm not even tasting anything.
I guess the price of anything Favorite price of shite moments favorite cheap eat moments favorite noodles reviewed or not a little win You want it that Tom Kotsu thing? It's not my favorite noodle. No, I'd like if that ribbon noodle was my thing That was nice. That's common.
That is an untestable. They're favorite food reviewed favorite tales in the shop for Favorite gameplay favorite guest appearance favorite poor moments favorite Eli moments Favorite quote maybe it's Eli go Paul and favorite cheap show moments on bar shins. There your categories. Oh, they're good categories So if you listen to the podcast regularly and you have an opinion go to the reddit page look for that and fill out the Google Docs online Here's what we're gonna do want to be gonna do Paul wants tell me once tell me now what we're gonna do is you know me Yeah, she's put on this together.
So go bless you. She's gonna put on a together forget the final results And then we will do as one episode the cheap show awards So we'll do it like you know she Oscars and we have clips of all the other links at the winning bits Well, I'll have to know the answers that's gonna be so better. Yeah, but I mean you can read out bits and the nominees are Yeah, yeah, we got three or four of them and clips. It'd be fun.
We'll do it. I'm really looking forward to that genuinely I'm so I good because I like it when people talk about us and they say how great we are but the sugar is Greatest awful and funny moment Ray Allen add on fully as missed your comedy moment. Well, that just be everything else Have everything else and the break-cross episode if you've got if you like a bit of like melon collie mixed in with your Yeah, poo Jima. I'll be I'll be uh waiting.
I'm waiting. What are you talking about? I'm sick right. We're gonna do the segment and it's a segment this time.
Oh, I was an actual segment the segment because that's last segment We didn't have enough segment segment Segmented segment segment It worked just don't bowl. Oh what a chunky segment Cadbury's chunky segments. Yeah, that's fucking excellent Though it does be a segment with it but full of what that's be chunky be I would like is a sort of updated Turkish delight style thing Oh, but what would the center be like a fruit gun? No, no chunky segments are like across the line bar and a drifter all right But with segments yeah, you can snap them off irregularly very good and like oh come on love come on.
We have a Avotizing the advertising would be a man on a Wi-Fi couch. It's a bit of a dingy couch And so yeah, you know you're the girl so the music comes up What I don't have fancy a chunky segment. Come here. I'll put a big chunky segment in your cup Cadbury's chunky moments Shunky Talk at a moment to be hit the latest candle apparently someone Twitter got a touch of me or cheap show instead Oh, I've seen cheesy moments and then walkers got in touch and they say they're real and they said they're real And they just pull what about that what it's got what cuz they imply pull what is going on?
I want the truth I want there to be an inquiry and inquest I want there to be are they just being Disingenuous and just trying to keep the interest alive because they don't manufacture them anymore That's why I am not and there's that information we had one article so they've been discontinued back in 2010. Yeah, so it either What's the real what's the real walkers? What's the real deal? What's the story man?
What's the story behind the story? What's actually going on with the cheese moments? Yeah, do you think she's moment some kind of MK ultra kind of thing they made them but they were too fucking good people go And it's just a moment to be like well we have to cut back on these because they're telling people ravenous poor It's an interesting theory, but you know what goes against it everything because it's but yes But also just on a basic level of the three the triumph of walkers. Yeah moments.
Yeah, you got the yeah, they're the least wrong I mean they're at least in position number two. I don't even remember what the texture of them is now It's just that weird. It's exactly like the feeling in a Convey combo. Oh, is it like a little kind of cheese cheesy for and don't oh it's a crisp outer triangle in my head I thought it was like a cheese savory.
It's a savory. It's what it is a cheese. You know, she savory Those little bags you get in the little biscuits and little biscuits. Oh, no, it's like it's a feeling a cheese flavored moment feeling Yeah, it's like just like that fake stuff that isn't cheesy get in a combo Yeah, yeah, yeah, so this is very intriguing to me Walkers walkers miss walkers, but these are Smith branded products They were because Smith have been bought by walkers I think this is been dropped but at first they would kick the Smith Brownie or the fucking way what's going on?
It's a temporary problem on the holding back or it's been since 2010 I think they're only available in certain demographics certain markets in the UK They still put them like a very limited release. I think the northeast that seems to be where the people I've heard say I'll say oh, yeah, they get them all the time. They seem to be from that part of the world in North the North It's just a very big mystery. It's intriguing to me.
Yeah, and if anyone can get an actual bag of these cheese We want them we'll go and we well there's a gap in our fucking legal snack We have a little snack for a while. We need to get back on the League of Crabs snacks and crisps You get back on the League of Crabs. I did a crap today. Oh, it touched the sides Crap not craps.
Oh crap. Oh crap. She said yeah as in Yeah, which is a brings us back to the scribbles They've been feasting today Paul. They're skitties.
They're based on skitties Yes, unfortunately they do That is the noise of a scribble feasting on but Paul seems I quite hygienic. Yeah, I can't actually produce skitties I don't do that. You don't know they can sense them up. I have to buy skitties in just keep The pet shop Little boy skitties they like young boys skitties.
Oh that went on It's the truth open The truth on this show is it yes, and the truth is with you Nesco whatever the fuck the brand is behind it They're trying to be all nice aren't they on the tweet on the tweet. Oh, yeah, we do that. Oh the tweet guy who is he? He's probably a fucking robot.
It's a crisp powered robot. Yeah, he probably works off He works off skips, but that cheese and onion flakes. It's fucking Russia That's why you never see those Russia getting involved in our Christmas money Oh, and it's all for this information about what is real the triumvirate of snacks shall be reunited Oh hell the triumvirate right was this the section that was no I want to bring that up because you meant when we talk about chunky moments it was inspired me to be a cheesy But it's important important to this show. We're gonna stay on top of this because this is breaking news as it happens We will report upon it hashtag cheese moments hashtag never give up.
Yes, right? Yeah, I want the real deal well So what I thought of doing this segment is talk about can of everything happened and show a few things off So obviously we became for like show we got a fucking ton of soon army of tat it was food tat treasures We're banking all that I'm gonna spread out across the next few episodes because we've got a river for of bullshit Some of the things I'm looking forward to thank you. Now. Look here There's our that we were donated look at this bag of novelty robbers.
I've just got here Shana feel the earth wait fucking girl for that bag of robbers show us Oh here we go. This is what it's like unbox these think of this segment as a show in cell. All right, I'm box These yes, so open course next we have to go through the food and treats that you gave us so let's just not here Go on then. This is a whole part of whole bag of novelty erasers.
Did you get all trouble when that bag? I'm giving a mental trouble now. Okay. Now look at that Paul.
That's a battleships They're called a razor boats, but it is on a presented battleships like a grid You're on a grid and they're red and blue boats. I really like that. You know it's like clean and cute and I don't know It's a nice thing you can play with it because it says it with gamepad that little thing on the background's a little paper So you can actually play you could play that you can play working. It's a working game about I would want to use them for robbers.
They're too fun. No, I wouldn't I wouldn't I'll be structuring out of five I prefer the more sort of kooky anything market. Okay, so what corner what is that? I'll give it three out five three out of there.
Oh now this is kooky, isn't it? If there's anything you can say is kooky it's this I presume this is Japanese. Yes. Yes, because there's Japanese right on the back It's food robbers.
It's a what looks like a fish and then maybe that's a cup a little kind of ticcup Yeah, it's a frying pan with a big egg in it's a big when you say big it's like an ostrich. It's bigger than the frying There's more egg than pan There's also a little bento box with rice in and some veggies cool I love that box and then finally a big plate a big presented plate of what I presume is greens carrots Possibly some kind of potatoes and then a big load of purple mystery meat. I like that very good and on the same vein Oh, it's a little tea set with some toast and jam. Oh, I fucking love that tea set Yeah, look at the the little fucking trace or another little tray I like the bread's got different glaze on and different paperwork and the cup it's got a ticket You got a potato cup of tea.
Yeah, what you got a rate that last one then that is a good four and a half That is like giving me a chub. Yeah, that's full of a job. No razor job Like my penis is in gorge, but you look closely and it is actually the razor Your penis Your fanny Make a whole lot of your penis was an eraser We'll be back again. I laid you or any rub down.
Look down every time you wait it you rubbed it down. Yeah, you got all this sort of Oh, I got to pick scummy down. Right. No, you didn't that didn't follow.
Anyway, it did next one. Let's have this next one Wait, you're getting over-tited calm down. Oh, look all these erasers calm down. So how much do you rate the tea set?
I mean, it's I love one of my favorite erasers of all time. Yeah, I love that five. Yeah, that's right next five Now this I won't give a tire score. Oh, but why it's getting a little western.
I guess okay. Oh, I see Yeah, this is a little lion and it's a this is an eraser. Isn't it? Yeah, but legs are hinged It has hinged legs, so there's a sort of boy aspect like a wooden lion toy.
It looks like a wooden lion toy It's cute. Yeah, it's nowhere near his delicate thing. Yeah, three's fine. Is this from her idea?
Because it's like a big screen of all in one store. Oh, I've brought a shot. She had them lying around or I think it was a Japanese store Japanese was on the actual show. She presents one of the price of strikes.
She gave us a what statue of Liberty. Oh, bye, right? Yeah, and that's what she said was from a Japanese store. It's mentioned some kind of Japanese America as well.
There's a perfectly lovely little penguin It's a perfectly lovely little ping-goo esque penguin Digget bit a bit a bit the scribble scribble I am computers and pings more good Yes good yes, what's this now we're entering the realm of The business kids I'm coming Poor fucking shut up right no, what's this? Yeah, I don't know. What a winky head. It's a winky baddie from anime head.
It's a winky bad face I'm less than I fell off, but no, it looks like he's winking. I don't know, but it's a curious little chap I would say that's too though. Nothing too remote. I like it that much.
What's that piece of cake? It's the next one to piece of cake Hey There you go. That one's nice. I like the detail on that.
Yeah, I go for three and a half. Here's a piece of sushi It's an omelet piece, you know, they got omelet pieces. Yeah, it's got a little bit of tape around it to give it the whole effect That's Norrie Witz seaweed that they used to know I know what they've used tape on this synthesize like Norrie, yeah, which is the point I was gonna get to if I let you This is all fucking falling apart now come on your shit fucking crocodile just like the lion crocodile like the lion too He's got a very patient and bored. That's it.
That's it. Why don't you start on the weaker stuff? I'm just talking about the bag of random. Obviously.
It's dark here in the house of pickles. Yeah dark emotionally It's dark physically mentally dark hole. I'm staring at some sauce that says pure death That was also given to us by one of the listeners at the live show Does it come with a little key chamber the bloody score? I don't know open it I'm gonna open it but we did he has the same person also gave us the ghost jiggles the ghost jiggles which featured on our Halloween episode Yeah, that was the last episode before this was it's our first studio bound episode before the live to it's tape on that I got it no mucks Mate you got a little school kid.
Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that means it's hot It says Blair on it's a lovely school. That's a nice little scale piece. I like that.
You know at some point We are gonna have to do a hot sauce challenge. I Got the go-kins. Yeah, I'll be going back. I'm enjoying it on my own.
They're a bit like fuck They are like they're not long lasting, but they're intense. Yeah, I like it's a tenty I happen just eat enough shit. Yeah, do it myself. I got the flu You do know they protect against the flu but those are great erasers and I'm gonna get a chance.
I'm gonna display They'll be pictures of these on our website the cheap show that you can't yes or no cheap show that you can't you can't Yeah, you know why because linton put the wrong website address I'll find my comment is named now because I'm holding no he bought it for us and then Back to the cheap show so I'll make I'll mention him in the comments. Oh, yeah, thank you to him I don't know his name wrong in case you will get I get everyone's name wrong. Yes, everyone's though. Oh no Anyway, I was tasting something in a minute.
I want to show you some I was giving when I went to black pool So I went to black pool recently because a bif-o we stopped fucking moving things around and recorded as you were Wait for black pool because we were doing a talk about digitize of the show Which is now now on YouTube look for digitize on YouTube and start watching it It's fucking wicked and I'm in it and it's fun and I'm in it and he lies in it We've got some lovely things coming up. So go see digitize it if you like mr. Biffle from episodes 101 and 100 100 Little bit the way round one hundred one. Yeah, um, you'll enjoy the locks we get up to on digitize the show retro comedy kind of It's my show game.
Yeah, bit of fun. It's all about games. I love you better thought up down up down up down up down down up down up down Peking Eve babes up and down up and down anyway, we went to Blackpool and was a part of a larger event It was a game's convention and we had a show to put on for 90 minutes and it was a lot of fun they're Kim just as slopes people you know having a little bit they're all the YouTube gamers and Yeah, it was fun, but Joe at join the show We were doing a kind of show in to help people bought retro games and game again a one guy or in something that I've wanted for years And I was joking about saying oh Nick it off you But then when we showed it off him no you literally said when join the live recording mate if you want it you can have that But the whole audience it actually was a talent from since it was eight and now I've got it And what is it? Oh is reaching across to me?
I've got pet it is a Tony game called ah Good so to explain what it is a a g h h yes A a a a g h h h exclamation mark. Yes, it's a Tony mechanical toy So if you've ever seen screwball scramble, you know Well, those games you gotta move a marble around an assault course by pressing buttons that move levers and tilt tables and things It's like one of those in case a little it's something in common with a kind of basic labyrinth as well Like a marble labyrinth where you you tilt the hole of the playing surface Yeah to move the ball around it, but with this it's it's got like a little salt course where you run a little marble down All on this pathway going through the little of what would you call those gates gates? So you've got all you got is one bush and that's a push and that fires off your little Bullberry all bearing across the trap. It's very much got a retro arcade designed to it's beautiful Really pleasing and if I didn't know this I was like looking into this But Tony did another one called Wow, right and it's exact same concept Well, this was flat on a table you play it.
Yeah, wow is upright So you've got to bounce the ball and fire it around more like a latin go Yeah, I'm like member congham. We play a box which is vertical like a play also made by Tony Right gifted me this so Tony would have a license with Nintendo this idea but Sega had Donkey Kong. No. Oh, sorry.
We're congham It was nothing to do Basically went it's a monkey. Yeah, it's like a bit of a robot Oh It's what the Tony what would Tony know for didn't they do trucks like it's like that? Oh, Tony just did like ball games and boys and like get toys for like a chilma I think it's on yeah, but Tony basically sturdy You know toys plastic and some of the things like this or like screwball trampol and some were just more like kids first plastic laptop Yeah, I love it. I have to say this arc.
I love everything about it. I had to take the battery out because every time you nudge it the time It goes off so do I go over it? Yes, I definitely do all right. It's very loud.
So I roll the balls up to the top all the balls up to the top and you're gonna need a flat surface to do it on I have to get all the balls up the top. Yeah, cuz actually you got it on the top and then roll them down there Yeah, you see that red button at the top that's your next ball coin. Why does everyone call it there? I don't know you give it a shake.
Oh, he's fucking broke it. You broke my fucking toy I haven't broke it. You broke my fucking ah Stop it. Oh, you set it up for me.
I'm at the top right. I just started because you nudged it. It's a very sensitive timer Don't know just denudge it. Right, right.
They were all the balls at the top Okay, and you find them off what the time with the red button right at the red button So whenever you want you gotta do just tilt that timer down and it starts the yeah Yeah, what am I trying to do? That white button is the only button you need to hit and you've got time your jumps to get through each trap So you've got a little bridge there you got a little blue disc that rotates you got a little pipe of the magnet on Yeah, I've got the draw bridge the wonky bridge it someone said when we were reviewing this Digitize they said it's the dark souls of Tomi game, which is means it's very difficult It's fucking hard as no I had a crack at this from ages and I cannot get as far as that yellow disc at the bottom You can't get any ball pass left mate. I fucking tried and I you know you rage quit playing a video game that nearly went out Really don't break it. No, I didn't I stepped away.
Okay, so I'm just gonna go. I'm not expecting a lot Right, so I'm going to start ready. Yeah go the time is set so he's gonna Bang in it Hit to the blue disc. I go time that right that's perfectly time in there the draw bridge razors and closes Or we get through now.
He's got a jump on the magic pipe and he's been caught by the magnet and it's been put a draw bridge And I've lost the ball. I thought gone down It's flicked out you've got a time it so it's flat you can get across red bottom at the top and research in next ball So he's back again to the turn style trick he jumps over that, but it takes a few terms There he goes. It's over. It's back to the blue twisty disc and he's crossed that easily I had a bit of a problem with that.
Oh, and he's across the little bridge and back to the magnetic pipe But this time he was on success. Oh You know you said it out loud. Oh, it's good He's gonna go across again from the top to the blue disc he's across and he's done it Oh, and he's missed it. He missed he missed timed it.
So there we go back onto the top trap again the spinning disc Now one to the blue flipper disc. It's going down Eli's looking very very involved right now. He looks tense Oh, and he's fucked it. That's for at last go last go last go.
My best one was the first time So you've cleared one two three four four out of the twelve obstacles Oh That's it. I could get addicted to dinner. You could get addicted to playing that because I saw another guy a good solid Hour of I signed into that and you only got how far I got as far as you that yellow rotating disc thing That's how I was fucking mind boggling and then oh no I think that little red or bridge but I couldn't cross it I couldn't figure out what I need to do Yeah, the very bottom red or bridge that kind of goes side to side this yeah, okay So you know those did it yeah, but I do only two obstacles away. Yeah, but that's a little blue disc with two little diffs You can't be tough.
Yeah, so you see what I mean by say it's hard It's like trial and error, but by the time you remember how to do one thing that is just so excellent beautiful They wouldn't make toys like this now, would they no would they I mean they probably do but without as much love ball labyrinth That came out of this said oh, yeah, I'd like a go on that Yeah, I saw on the charity shop at it was pretty quick But it was the death star so all the inside the theme the round Oh really all through the death star and jumping on to an excellent I don't have a good those pull out to say I had a lot of fun playing it It's a lot of fun in it. Yeah, so that I got given that a lot of fun everything about it screams 80s mid 80s It's almost like an arse way in an actual sort of cool way. No very cool. It's really colorful sort of sleek It's almost like an alien spaceship or you know, yes It's lovely these days and I'll be curved how much they go for online they go between only 30 between 10 and 40 quid Right depending on the condition working or so he made a lovely gift that's a lovely condition It's a bit scratching on the other place but ultimately it's like works beautiful Yeah, I put it online on a few social media things and the number of people going oh I want to because it's just got it's It's what we thought about like nostalgia.
It's nice nostalgia. It's not labeled it. Oh, do you remember Tetris? No, everyone remembers Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you remember playing?
Ah, no it's that thing and then was oh, yeah Yeah, the stuff that just was the my new shade of of your life then Yes, and it's funny no, so sometimes works like that doesn't it? It's the stuff you didn't really pay attention to at the time They just to sort of form the background of existence. Yeah, that then really makes an impact later on But how many feel about getting like the wow one? Like getting the right one.
Oh, I'd love to do that. I think there's other one But I can't remember three times three of that type. Yeah ones for that little upright, but they're quite costly and rare Oh, really? I don't know if I'm on eBay.
I don't know if I'm on eBay. I think I'm 100 pounds. No, I'm not ready to think maybe 20 or 30 quid on one Not really. Okay, so we'll see.
Yeah, I love these kind of things like automaton toys a lot and that's a great example So I was like a lot of automaton toys. You just put you turn it on you put a ball in it does it all by itself Yeah, that's an actual game that again. I'm real good. It is closest for me to something like elaborate You just have to tie in each obstacle.
Yeah, labyrinth through ball scramble It's got a bit of everything people shovels a bit more ornate because of the difference variety of tracks And that while we played on bastions was it con well? Yeah, that was totally as well. Yeah, that was a lot easier than that wasn't it? Yeah, by and large it's like considerably easier.
It's easier than that. But even that was it's little problems like the draw bridge is quite hard Yeah, but it's the same sort of a game Gameplay your timing a lever. Yeah, basically flicking of all about you flicking a bean about you flick Anything big bull me expense Anything funny or stupid No, no, no, no, no, no. When you do that shit But at least I'm professional.
And go along with it. And I got to cheat some blues. We come to the end of the show and I got to cheat so few blues. I'm unwell, I know.
Oh, I know. So I went to a future of the show now, Paul. Well, I went to a future of a episode of Blackpool, but honestly, they did find anything too amazing there. In fact, if I can be blunt, I found blackpool depressing.
It literally, fuck. You sort a likey with curlers in her hair, throw it back, and mix the bid. I was walking towards the street. As I was walking towards the hotel I was a bit run down, lots of bed and brackers that looked, well dodgy, you know.
And then this woman comes out of her door, front door, with a bin like in her hand. And she looks left and there's a bin, you know, where she put her thing in. She had a fag, she had a fag, she had a fag in her mouth. She had a fag in her mouth.
And she was wearing like, you know, sports, like Jackie stupid, buying large. But I think she's given up. She's probably won on this show. We only want rich people listening to this show.
We're going to do rich show from now on. She should have been able to afford a conveyor belt. The rubbish that she could put each bit to rubbish on individually and drop to the bit. And go, oh, is it made of straw?
Right, I'm just going to carry on to think you fucking lost it. I have lost it. I have lost it. Right, well let me carry on.
You want me like the bag? So get out of the bag, you want me like the bag? Don't you hear me? I'll do a character.
I'll do a character that says it stops. I'll do a character that's doing this segment. Because it's time to go back to the froff shop. No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm going. So it's wearing the froff shop. I've got a person. I'll be the froff shop and I've got some cheap.
I'll please it. I've tested it. I'm a stock pole. Printed pole.
Alright, I'll be good. You can't take this. I'll be good, I'll be good. It's all ill.
I will go for over four years. It'll be fine. I'll just do a thing when I'm in the shop with my knob out. I think that's a good way to go into it.
So I go with my froff shop and you come with your cock out. Oh, like pineapple cubes! Fucking look at the redness of my knob! Right, well that's gonna be terrible for business.
Oh, I'll go then. Sorry. Oh, do you see Gannon's rough shop? I'd go in there, but there's an angry small man with his cock out all the time.
Spreading out jizzling. No, it doesn't spry up with jizz. He's very... He keeps shouting, would you like a chunky moment?
Come on, get out of chunky segments. So I went into a little sweet shop. It was one of these kind of really odd corn shops. Yeah, weird corn shops.
I only went in there initially just to get like chewing on. And I saw this shelf full of like weird sweets. So I thought, let's get them for our first shop. So, ah, tinglingling.
It's the first shop. Here we go. Now, one of these things I think you're going to be very interested in because we're talking about it not too long ago. So I'm just going to bang that for now.
And start with something familiar. Say what you see. Here we have it's along the thin. There you are.
Oh, God. And it's Tuba Chubs. It's a cola sticks. STiX.
But it's made by Tuba Chubs. Yeah, so it's not a lot of people. It's a lot of people watching out. And now, and this looks like it says cola.
So you've got a red outside, but I can see there's a white, almost fondante style. So, imagine if Gummy-esque tube filled with sweet fondant. Because you know what puts me off of getting a chipper chips? What?
The fact that it's like hard. Do you know what I mean? You don't like sucking something hard. Basically, it'd be too hard and bony in my mouth.
Big ooh. Shut up. I wasn't allowed to do a bit about being a child with a big red helmet. No, no, I'm glad you didn't.
But you wouldn't have to go in. Yeah, I don't think I fucking say it. Because what I do implies, so it's got a very distinct cola half coming through the shoulders of my nose. Yeah.