In places where surgery and care are out of reach, babies like Christopher, born with a cleft lip or palate, all too often face a heartbreaking future. And you have the power to change that. Thanks to generous donors and medical volunteers, Christopher received free, safe surgery. It cost as little as $240 to spare a child like Christopher from Heartbreak.
All they need is you. Please go to giveasmile.ca to donate. Thanks for tuning in to the Real Women Chronicles podcast. I am your international certified life coach, T.
The sole purpose of this podcast is to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. Yes, it's time to break chains and to get unstuck. Thanks again for joining in. Let's begin.
Hello, hello, hello. Thank you guys for joining me yet again another week of the Real Women Chronicles podcast. If you don't know, let me introduce myself. I am certified life and relationship coach.
I go by the name of coach T. Y'all. So if you have been following my podcast over the course of the last three podcast episodes that I've been talking about, the stages of a breakup. And as I closed on the stages, stage three of a breakup last week, I felt it important for us to talk about dating tips.
So this week, this is what this podcast is going to be about. The fun side of overcoming that last relationship, the fun side about moving on and meeting someone new and just learning yourself through dating experiences. Because I would love to promise you that once you get back out there and start dating the very first person you start dating is like your end all be all and you live happily ever after. For some, that does work and it's a beautiful thing.
But for some of us, you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, but that's okay. That is okay. But as you are going into your season of dating and during your season of singleness, I just want to give you some tips. I have roughly about 10 tips that I found to be very helpful in my personal life when I was dating.
And also, I just find it to be just almost universal to most women as we're out there dating in men as well as we're out there dating. There's some things that we really need to concentrate on. So I've entitled this podcast dating one on one because these are some core things that you really need to pay attention to or implement in your personality or your strategy when it comes to dating. Because I definitely believe that there is a little bit of strategy when it comes to dating, of course, be yourself 100% be yourself.
But also understand yourself, understand the situation and understand how to move so that you don't move too, you know, hastily and you don't move too fast and you don't repeat that, that choosing of the wrong mate like you did in that last relationship for many of you, many of you who are coming out of a breakup. Okay. So that being said, as I said, I have about a good 10 tips. So before I jump into dating one on one, again, if you guys are going through a breakup, be sure to order the breakup to break through journal is available on my website, the RWC podcast.com.
Okay. So I'm going to go through the first rule. Remember this, mystery loves company. Take key to what I just said.
I didn't say misery. I said mystery loves company. Let me elaborate on what I mean by that. Sometimes it's easy to start dating a person and it's easy for us to start divulging too much information too early.
One thing I can tell you about a woman is her ability to keep a sense of mystery about her can be very attractive. And because it leaves a man wanting to know more about you. You're not, you're not an open book. You're not telling him the first date or the first through dates about everything that's happened to you from the age of two years old up until now.
You're making him ask probing questions and you're giving him the information that he needs to know. Let me tell you one thing that I've personally learned. Sometimes when we give out too much information too early, we can sometimes even regret it because here's the thing, if you give out too much information, there's nothing left for him to learn about you. He'll feel like he already has a pretty good idea of who he's dealing with early on.
So the excitement of the mystery of the girl who he approached who he didn't know, all he knew was her physical characteristics is now gone. It is like, okay, I know her physical characteristics. I know her personality. I know what makes her tick.
I know what makes her angry. I know we have her in her last 15 relationships. I know all this. And one day, mystery loves company.
A man loves to be in the company of a mystery woman. A mysterious, mysterious, sorry woman. And I can attest for that. 100%.
Keep that mystery about you. Do not divulge too much information to someone that you don't know. And worst case scenario, this person could use some of that information against you or they could tailor how they deal with you because you've divulged so much information. You've told them what the last 15 people did wrong that they've learned how to get close to you by being something that they're not because you basically told them what you didn't like.
And I'm not saying that you shouldn't tell a person what you don't like, but don't give them the ability to pretend to be something they're not just to get in your good graces or even worse to get in your pants. And then all of a sudden you realize that they're not the person that they pretended to be, but kind of you gave them the hand that that was dealt to you. You gave them the tools to tell you what you wanted to hear because they knew what you wanted to hear and the only reason why they know what you want to hear is because you divulged too much too early. So keep that mystery about you.
Number two, remember anything he gets easy, he won't appreciate. I've said that in many, many, many podcasts before and I'm going to say it again. Keep your eyes closed. I'm not one of those individuals that's going to sit here and say, okay, there's a 90 day rule, there's a 60 day rule, but they're sure enough needs to be a long enough time for you to see different moods in this man.
And I'm going to be honest, most men aren't showing different moods in a month or two. Okay. Honestly, by the time you get to that three to four month, you know, rodeo, you may see him go through some different moods because by this time, if he is only after you for one thing, you're going to see a different man start to hit to the forefront eventually because he's going to start getting frustrated because he wants something out of you and you're holding out. Not only that, it's not only the fact that he, if you give him yourself, right, early on, you're giving him all of you, telling him all of your stories and lifelong, you know, roads that you've traveled prematurely and you give him your body on top of that, there's nothing left to know about you.
And this is why a lot of men lose interest after you have intercourse with them because they've learned what it took to get you. And if you gave it to them that easy, most of them will feel like you will give it to the next man that easy. I'm raising a man. I've raised a man and I talked to men all the time about this very topic.
I have a 23 year old son and even he will tell you if he is able to play sports fish and get a woman too early, he's not going to appreciate her long term. And it's just fact and I'm not saying that some of you out there maybe didn't have a one night stand that ended up in a relationship. It happens. But more than anything, it's not even this rule is not so much about what he is going to well, and to appreciate it's just me telling you to appreciate yourself to understand that you are of value and to sleep with a man too early and not know his spirit, not know the energies and the sexual will transmit it to diseases or I'm sorry, spiritual sexual to but spiritual transmitted diseases that this man is carrying and you're willing to expose your spirit to him too early.
That's that's your mental. He could be carrying the spirit of insecurity, the spirit of low self esteem, the spirit of suicide and you don't know because you gave it up so easy. Learn him first, appreciate you first and then he too will appreciate you. Number three, understand that we all come with laws.
I know whenever we're out there dating, it's easy to immediately start looking for what's wrong with this person. Okay, what's wrong? Okay, this is wrong. This is wrong.
This is wrong. Keep in mind that you have flaws too. Okay, I'm not saying to, you know, just throw out all the major flaws. I mean, we all should have deal breakers when it comes to dating.
We all should have standards and we all should really appear to those standards, but understand give people a little leeway. We all have flaws. Okay. Number four, I would say, I'm sorry, that's number yet number four.
I would say don't ignore your instinct though or major red flags. Okay, so even though this person is coming with flaws, as you're dating, this is the time to pay attention to those God giving red flags and I always say God giving because he really is the person, the one who speaks to our intuition. So it's important for us not to ignore that. It's important for us to really, really hone in on what the spirit is telling us and pay attention to those red flags and don't try to turn those red flags into orange or green flags.
Pay attention to them so that you can truly move in a healthy way and know what you're getting into before you dive in hit first. Okay. Number five, remember you are as attractive as you think you are. Do not go into a dating situation pointing out your own flaws and what I mean by that?
Oh, hey, hey, how you doing? Oh, you look beautiful. Oh, you know what? My hair is not done or this nail isn't done.
Like women, we have a problem pointing out our own flaws. Men half of the time don't even notice that one of your legs are shorter than the other until you actually tell them. Okay. So do not go pointing out your own flaws.
You are attracted as attractive as you think you are. I have seen women of all calibers, all shades, all sizes attract the men that they wanted. Know why because they believe that they could. It's all about manifestation on this podcast.
You should already know that by now. If you believe it, you can achieve it. If you believe yourself to be attractive, you can force everybody around you really to see that attractiveness in you. It doesn't mean that they want a wifey up or they want to live happily after what you but they're going to respect the fact that you get off and you exude that feeling of being attractive and that becomes attractive to other people and it's a fact.
It's a fact. Okay. So it's a matter how big, how it looks really have nothing to do with it. Confidence is everything.
Confidence is everything. So walk in that confidence and understand when you walk in that confidence and you believe that you're attractive, the people around you are going to believe it too. Okay. What number am I on?
I am on seven I believe. Cleanliness is concerning. When you are dating, remember you are dating. Okay.
If there's no title on this, we're not going to put a title on this. We're not going to say that this is a situation. Okay. We're not going to play games with our emotions like that.
Okay. We're going to treat it like it is. It's dating. So that means you're not obligated to them.
They're not obligated to you. If a man wants to pursue you, he will show you with consistency and then you have the opportunity to reciprocate what he's giving you but cleanliness only pushes people away. Okay. He loves to see that you have your own life.
Trust me, he does. He loves to see that you're busy sometimes and you don't have time to always talk and always text because you have your own life and that's attractive again. That's that mystery. That's that mystery to say, Oh my gosh, what does it take to get her attention?
Get that. Do not become too clingy too fast. Number eight, if it doesn't flow, okay, let it go. If you are dating with somebody and it feels like you're forcing yourself to like this person or you're forcing yourself to vibe with this person, ah, major revlank.
If it doesn't flow, let it go. There will always be another opportunity. There will always be somebody else who finds interest in you. Always.
Remember that always. If it doesn't flow, let it go. Number eight, know that you are the prize. So be yourself.
You are the prize possession. We're walking into this. Ladies, we have so much more control in these relationships than we really believe that we do. And once we start to realize that and stop giving over our control to the to the to the man in the relationship, then we really start to see things clearly.
We are the mothers of this earth here. We have to walk in our authority. We have to walk in our queenship. And right now I'm speaking solely to the ladies because I think it's important that we wake up and understand he is not the person that you should be looking to impress and you know, wipe him off of his feet and you know, put him up in a post store.
You are the prize. You are the queen. Listen, don't be online letting people like Kevin Samuels and all these people make you feel like you're not because I'm here to tell you that you are. And I'm going to I'm going to tell you personally that that is with a lot of men fear.
They fear you knowing your worth because ladies, once we wake up and know where our words, let me tell you something. This whole show will change. We'll go to back in the day when a man really had to court a woman to get in her good braces. He didn't just show up with a nice car a few dollars and a cute smile.
Okay, you are the prize. No matter what they tell you out here, no matter how many men towards women that they tell you they are, you walk in your authority and you will attract those things that you believe that at the level that you believe you resonate on. And if you're resonating too low and you're too insecure, I suggest you don't be dating right now because you're going to attract things of that lower magnitude and that you don't want. Last but not least, remember, you will never be good enough for the wrong person.
So they ghost you if they are dating you and picking away your flaws or if they are dating you and you're not feeling like they are reciprocating that same energy that you're putting into this courtship. Remember this. Remember number 10, you will never be good enough for the wrong person. It is my belief that you only have one true person that you're meant to be with for the rest of your life.
What that means is it may take a little time to find that person and that is okay. That being said, if it's going to take time to find that person, that means. That means that 98% of us are going to go through a whole bunch of people who just aren't that person, right? Because it takes time to find that one person in the world filled with billions and billions of people.
Okay. So that's okay. It's okay for them to walk away. It's okay for them to stop calling you.
It's okay for you know, you even you to cut that person off and don't feel like they're right because that's what you're you you will meet the wrong people along the dating scene, but you can stay protected if you follow these 10 essential tips when it comes to dating. Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast this week. I know I went on longer than I typically do, but it was very, very necessary.
Again, log on to my website, the rwcpodcast.com. You can send me comments through that podcast, continue to DM me on Instagram. I do answer those DMs and definitely definitely if you want to be a guest on the show, log on to that website. If you want coaching, log on to that website, you can also reach out to me via email contact at the rwcpodcast.com.
As always, let's go ahead and close out and pray your father God. I just thank you for allowing us to come together yet again another week. Father God. I'm glad anyone listening to the sound of my voice, whatever they are going through, whatever they are struggling with internally, externally.
Father God, I pray that you provide healing in their lives. Only you know what they're going through, Father God. Only you know where they're in need of healing, Father God. So I pray on their behalf, Father God, and I just pray that you show up and show out, Father God.
We pray that you continue to help us to fall deeply in love with the person that you have created us to be Father God in a world that constantly tells women to be something other than themselves, Father God. We pray that you help us to embrace that what you birthed us to be. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.
Listen to guys, until next week, I love y'all. Have a great week. Bye.